I've decided I'm skipping class today. Its cold and its a very long walk, and I just don't feel in the mood to sit around listening to the man blathering on about absolutely nothing and wondering why I bothered. I skipped class yesterday too. Well, my first class was canceled which just added to the greatness of how my day started out. The second ( Read more... )

I got a call from Brett's school, saying he was sick. No one seemed able to contact Bruce, so at least I wasn't the only one he was ignoring/avoiding. So I went to pick him up, despite what was going on between Bruce and I. But I knew this wasn't about us, it was about Brett and I wanted to help even if my help was probably unwanted. The poor kid ( Read more... )

You can cut me out if you want, it won't make you forget, or stop wanting, wondering or hurting. But now that you've hurt me back doesn't that make you feel so much better? It didn't have to be like this, I'll never understand why you took it to this level. I've been completely excommunicated without even an explanation as to why. I suppose like ( Read more... )

I feel as though I should update but its one of those occassions when there is so much that begs to be said that I'm completely unable to spit any of it out. So I will try to give bits and pieces of the last few days, forgive the fragmentation of it all. That is how I've been feeling lately; pulled in so many directions I've become torn and I don't ( Read more... )

I was sitting here, looking out the window at the snow falling. Everything looks so pure, all the barren trees have been filled in by snow, everything is blanketed and it looks so virginal and new. Like a fresh start. But it also looks so frigid, its hard to see whats up ahead, and its easy to get lost and lonely. New starts often are that way. ( Read more... )

The way he looked at me, with tears welling up in his eyes, moving a stray lock of blonde hair away and lifting my chin up, staring at my naked make-up less face (eek!), and he said "you are beautiful" *sighs* I think that is the only time in my life I actually believed it, even for a second ( Read more... )

You ever notice there is always so much to do when you have the least amount of time and energy to do it? I MUST finish my portfolio today. Which basically amounts to one essay, and perhaps some extra credit. I also need to get creative and artsy, but I'm not really in the mood for that sort of bullshit. Clipart on word royally sucks I've ( Read more... )

I am doing the right thing, I am doing what is best for everybody, I have made the right decision...maybe if I keep repeating this to myself enough times it'll stop sounding so hollow and I'll start to really believe it. You can say I'm not doing what is best, but I am doing what is necessary. I am doing what I think is the only real choice I have ( Read more... )

I did something today I hadn't actually planned on doing. It had been in my mind for weeks, though I had only reacently come out of denial. Actually I think it was from talking to Sarah on Sunday, when she said something about how I can't stay with someone with this "whats going to happen" type feeling, hoping and wishing that maybe things will ( Read more... )

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tugs at hair, rips and tears and clothing, runs screaming down the hallway like a woman possessed* I haven't had a good nights rest in I'm not sure how long. I have felt compelled to be doing something every second, always striving towards finishing up something. There is always something that absolutely must be done, which ( Read more... )