Henchmen prompt for The Flame

[unnameduntamed]

“What colour tie do you think I should wear? The blue seems sensible but is it too sensible? I don’t want to come over as overly austere - I’m offering to help her after all. I have to look friendly so maybe the green? It’s cheerful. Maybe it’s too cheerful though. We aren’t exactly on daisy-picking terms so that’s probably not the best one. Pink

Comments

Re: Edit!

[unnameduntamed]

Thanks for the edit - I love it when they're very nitpicky because it means the story improves a lot. And sorry nabout my errors - the longer the story, the later at night I write it and that produces bigger mistakes. *Sigh* I was doing so well lol.
I'll let you in on Jeff's motivation if you want. It is lightly hinted at but I didn't want to put in too much (partially because I didn't know how I was going to do it). Jeff is Sam's best friend. He has known that Sam has been in love with Cat since they were in school together. He can see that they would be perfect for each other if they would just spend a little quality time together. What better way to force them to spend time getting to know each other than to blast them into the middle of nowhere?
It works in Jeff's head anyway lol. Maybe I should work more hints in.
Thanks again!

[katden]

*applause* Seriously :)

[unnameduntamed]

*bows* Thankies!

[der_verstand]

The ending literally left my mouth agape. I did not see it coming at all. The change in the story from facetious to sinister was nicely done.

Although, it was strange how Jeff did not blink an eye at killing Sam when they seemed to be quite close. Maybe that was intentional, but from a reader's perspective, it would have been nice to have Jeff's emotions expressed clearer.

Nonetheless, this was enjoyable to read. I look forward to your next weeks story, since it will be a continuation of this one, correct? I want to see what happens further in this world. ^__^

[unnameduntamed]

Thankies!
Hopefully Jeff's intentions will be a bit clearer next week (though I was too excited to finally get a prompt that fitted perfectly so it is up on my LJ all ready). I just figured that a sidekick who is also the hero's much smarter best friend would do anything to make sure the aforementioned hero got the girl. Even if she was 'evil'. :)
Yep there's quite a bit more tyo come from these guys and hopefully they will behave!
Thanks again!