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Part Three A week later, Jensen found himself talking with his mom as he skimmed the fresh produce in the grocery store.
“Hi, mom. How are you?”
“Hi, Jensen. I’m well, how are you?”
“I’m alright. I just finished a project for work and I have a few days off before I start my next one.”
Jensen pointedly ignored whatever guilt trip his mom was tying to send him on this time as he examined a cantaloupe for soft spots.
“And how was that dinner last week? The one Mackenzie couldn’t go to?”
Oh, shit, that was what she was on about. Fantastic.
“It was good. I had a good time and the food was good. Everything was good. Just like last time.” Jensen replied, praying that his mother would drop it. Unfortunately, she didn’t.
“That’s nice, dear. Now, who was that lovely young man you were with? Michelle posted pictures on Facebook and I saw you tagged in a few. He looked very handsome and you looked quite cozy at that table by yourselves.”
Jensen groaned inside. Trust Michelle to take pictures and not tell him about them. Jensen really ought to log-in to that damned site more often. He wasn’t sure what to tell his mother but he knew he had to say something before she started asking more questions.
“His name is Jared and he’s just a friend, mom.” Sure, he was stretching the truth, but what his mother didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt her.
“I hope he’ll be around when I come to visit in two weeks. There was no reason for you to hide this from me, or your sister. I look forward to meeting your new boyfriend. I’ll call you and let you know when I’ll be in town. Bye, Jensen!”
She hung up before Jensen could take a breath, let alone protest. Shit, shit, shit. She thought Jared was his boyfriend. She was expecting to meet him when she came to visit. Shit, shit, shit, motherfucking shit.
“Oh, fuck.” He rubbed a hand down his face and sighed. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed the same number he had been thinking about for over a week.
“Hi, Jared? This is Jensen Ackles. I was wondering if you were busy?”
Jared was just leaving the gym when his cell rang. Not recognizing the number, he answered cautiously.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Jared? This is Jensen Ackles. I was wondering if you were busy?” The man on the other end asked. Jared felt his face heat up, Jensen.
“Uh, hi. I’m not busy at the moment, what’s up?” He asked.
“Well, I kind of need your help again. Would it be possible to discuss this in person? I hate talking about this over the phone.” Jensen sounded desperate. Jared weighed his options. Technically, he wasn’t supposed to talk to clients outside of phone calls and appointments until after they had had a few meetings. But something about the way Jensen asked made him agree.
“Sure, can you meet me at Starbucks on Main Street in an hour?”
“Yeah! I mean, yes. I’ll be there. I appreciate it, man.”
“No problem. See you then.” He hung up and stared at his phone. The hell was that about? He felt a little guilty that he had been thinking about Jensen ever since Friday night and now he was agreeing to meet him to talk. It was like a cosmic joke. He walked home from the gym and showered. If he was going to meet with Jensen, he at least wanted to smell good.
Jensen fidgeted. He had been waiting for Jared since they had hung up and had downed two coffees already. He couldn’t tell if it was the caffeine that was making him jittery or his nerves. Either way, he couldn’t sit still. Glancing up at the clock again, he wondered how long it would be before Jared showed up. The bell above the door dinged, signaling someone’s entrance. It was Jared. Jared spotted him immediately and made his way over to Jensen’s table.
“So, what’s up?” Jared asked.
“Shit, this is embarrassing. I told myself I would just call her back and tell her the truth, but I can’t seem to do it. It would just make me look even more pathetic.”
“Call who? Jensen, I’m not exactly following you here.”
“My mother. She saw pictures from last Friday and now she thinks we’re dating. She’s coming to visit me in two weeks and she’s insisted on meeting you. She thinks you’re my boyfriend and that I’ve been hiding you from her.”
“Oh. That’s… that’s tricky. So I take it you want me to play the part of doting boyfriend while she’s here? And then we can discreetly ‘break-up’ after she leaves?” Jared asked.
“Yeah, actually. Would you mind? I mean, I’ll pay you double what you normally charge. I just can’t bear to break her heart by telling her the truth.” Jensen looked miserable. Jared knew he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
“Dude, that won’t be necessary. How about we just play it by ear and we can work out payment at the end. If you have to keep worrying about paying me, she’s going to know something’s up. And if you’re this uptight while she’s here, she’s going to know you’ve been lying.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, you’re right. I’m just stressed out right now. I don’t want her to be disappointed in me.” Jensen said.
“I get it, man. Yeah, we have some natural chemistry going on, but I think in order to sell this, we’re going to need to hang out more, go on, you know, some faux-dates?” Jared asked.
“Um, yeah, okay. So when would you want to start? She’s probably going to be here in two weeks, so two Thursdays from now. Maybe tomorrow night?” Jensen replied.
“Sure, tomorrow’s fine. Maybe catch that Adam Sandler movie, if you haven’t already seen it?”
“Sounds like a plan. Should we plan on meeting at the theatre for the late show?”
Off Jared's nod, Jensen smiled.
“Alright then. Looks like we have a date.”
Jared's face lit up as he winked at Jensen.
“Great. Thank you so much, Jared. I really appreciate this, and on such short notice.” Jensen told him.
This whole thing started because he couldn't find a date, and kept going on because he'd never learned to stop being fucking 12 years old around his mom. Whatever, Jensen thought as he headed home; it was totally worth acknowledging he was a giant dork if it meant hanging out with Jared.
“Wait, wait, wait a goddamn minute, you did what? Jared. Please tell me you didn’t just break the rules for this guy. Tell me you just made all of that up.”
Chad's face was thunderous and Jared suddenly felt two feet tall.
“Um. I made it all up?”
Chad slapped Jared's feet off the coffee table, yelling, “Good God damn it, Jared! We have these rules in place for a reason. It’s so you guys don’t get hurt and so they don’t get in trouble. If you start making appointments but then telling the guy that they don’t have to pay until later, if at all, what’s to stop them from running off without paying you? How about if they get some fresh idea that you owe them sex, huh?”
“Chad. Seriously, it’s not that bad.” Jared pulled his legs up to the couch, pulling at a stray thread on his jeans. “Jensen is a good guy. He wouldn’t do that.”
“You know exactly two things about this dude,” Chad held up two fingers, “Jack and Shit. You had one dinner appointment with him and then a ten minute conversation in Starbucks. How do you know he’s not just trying to pull some Jeffrey Dahmer shit on you? What'd he do, tell you he'd got puppies in his van? Come the fuck on, man.”
“No,” Jared sighed petulantly. “I can just tell. I gotta feeling about this.”
Chad threw up his hands before smacking Jared's head.
“Look, I just don’t want to see you get hurt, Jaybird. I don’t want to see you end up like Zach.”
“I know. Trust me, I know. I don't wanna end up in jail, or, you know, dead or anything.” Jared risked a small smile. “That'd seriously cramp my style.”
“Jesus, Jaybird. Fine. But if things start to go all pear-shaped, you come to me immediately, you got that?”
“You got it, boss.” Jared saluted Chad.
“Oh, cram it. Just remember, if you do die, I get to write your obituary. I can see it now, Young co-ed Dies from Erotic Asphyxiation.”
Jared threw back his head and laughed, “Fine, do it. What'll I care? I'll be dead, man.”
“Your mom will care, dude.”
“I'm thinking she'll be too busy mourning the untimely demise of her beloved son. Besides, she already pretty much knows you're an asshole.”
“Whatever, dude. So, look, you wanna watch a movie? I got Sharktopus vs DinoCroc from RedBox. I figure we can drink some beers and laugh at the awful effects.”
“Yeah, sure. You get the movie queued up, I’ll grab the beers.” Jared replied, accepting the olive branch for what it was.
He really hoped Jensen wasn't a secret cannibal. Cause, gross, dude.
Jensen got to the movie theatre fifteen minutes before the Just Go With It was supposed to start. He wondered if he should pay for Jared’s ticket. Was that kind of thing included in his fee? Did that make him more of a john or just a good date? There needed to be a manual, cause, seriously, Jensen was gonna get an ulcer before this was all over.
Which, of course, is why he practically jumped out of his skin when Jared slapped a hand on his shoulder.
“Heh. Sorry, dude. You seemed deep in thought there. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself.” Jared teased.
“Shut up. I was just wondering if yours would be a kid’s ticket or not. ” Jensen fired back.
“Thinking my height might, you know, give me away.” Jared brightened as he added, “Unless you wanna say I got some kind of pituitary gland condition or something?”
Jensen laughed despite himself, “Yeah, let's save that for when we're at a restaurant. It'll probably be the only way to explain your huge appetite.”
“Good thinking, man. See? We're totally gonna rock this dating thing.”
When Jensen tried to protest Jared paying for two adult tickets, Jared waved him off, telling him to pay for the popcorn. Sneaky bastard. What with the hard up-sell Jensen fell for, and the JuJu Fruits Jared wanted, Jensen ended up paying for what might as well have been a four-course meal. Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration. Still, that shit was expensive.
Every time Jared reached for some popcorn, it seemed Jensen was doing the same. They kept bumping hands and Jared couldn’t help but laugh. He was having fun and it seemed Jensen was too. He even laughed at Jared's weak Lady and the Tramp joke.
As they made their way out of the theatre and to their cars, Jensen mused that going to a movie wasn’t really good preparation for acting like a couple in front of his mom.
“True enough, dude. But it did help us to be more relaxed around each other, yeah? Sitting next to someone in a movie theatre, sharing popcorn and soda, it’s like re-living our youth. Like maybe we were high school sweethearts, now all grown up and practically married.” Jared gave himself an internal high-five when Jensen burst out laughing.
“You’re ridiculous. Truly, ridiculous. But thanks. I had a pretty good time tonight.” Jensen smiled at him.
“Yeah, I did, too. I’ll give you a call about when we can plan our next little get together, okay?” Jared replied.
“Yeah, sure. That'd be great, just let me know.”
Over the next several days, Jared and Jensen went on more dates. They went out to lunches and dinners; an epic night of bowling - that left Jensen crowing over the three strikes he'd somehow managed to pull out of his ass; and chilling on the patio of a local bar.
It was pretty sweet, actually. Jensen didn't display any signs of wanting to slice and dice Jared into chili con human, so the next time they hit up the movies, Jared suggested they get comfortable with PDA. His mom would be suspicious if he didn't at least hold his boyfriend’s hand.
“I thought you weren’t allowed to do that?” Jensen asked.
“Hand-holding and hugging is fine. A quick kiss is fine. That stuff is really at my discretion anyway. I ixnay anything more than that, though.” Jared replied.
“Oh. Well, then I suppose at least hand-holding would be expected. I don’t think I’d want to try anything more in front of her, even if we were actually a couple.” Jensen said; his attention more on the menu for the restaurant than anything else.
Jared tried to ignore how that offhand comment made him feel disappointed. Jensen was still just a client and nothing more. It didn’t matter how he felt about him. He wasn’t going to let it interfere with his job.
“Is the barbeque rib platter any good here, do you know? I’m trying to decide between that and the chicken.” Jensen went on, oblivious to Jared’s inattention.
“Huh? Oh, both are great. I’m going to get the chicken, myself. You can try it, if you end up getting the ribs.”
“Sweet. I think that’s what I’m going to do.” Jensen finally looked up and smiled at him.
By the time they finished, their mouths were ringed with barbeque sauce and their fingers were sticky as hell. Cleaning up was a pain in the ass, but totally worth it if Jared could see Jensen's eyes light up like that every night.
Two days later, Jared suggested a bowling re-match. He was determined to kick Jensen's ass, this time. He had a rep to uphold - he didn't have a styrofoam cup inscribed with “World's Best Bowler East of the Mississippi” in ball-point ink for nothing. Of course, Chad had sullied it by using it as a make-shift spittoon. Whatever, the point was, Jensen was gonna go down, and that's all there was to it.
Their first game ended 120 to 210, Jared winning by a large margin. He tried not to crow in victory, too much. His momma didn't raise a total spoil sport. Still, it was shaping up to be sweet revenge. The second game ended a little closer; 160 to 230. Jensen seemed amazed that he had reached that score at all. Jensen then managed to get a turkey in the final frame of their third game, bringing the score up to 230 to 220. So, maybe not such a sweet revenge.
Especially since Jensen let out a whoop that drew a few stares.
“I can’t believe it. I’ve never gotten a score that high. Ever.” Jensen was all but prancing around.
“Yeah, well, don't forget I helped out your technique there, Sparky.” Jared smiled at him, glad he was having such a good time. He didn’t bother mentioning that he had taken a bowling course for a physical education credit last summer. Or the prized styrofoam cup.
“So, do you maybe want to hit Magee’s for a drink? I don’t have to be to work until early afternoon tomorrow.” Jensen asked.
“I don’t know. It’s kind of late and I have to be up for an early meeting.” Jared glanced at the clock on the wall. It was already past nine. If he started drinking now, there was no way he would be able to wake up for his meeting with Kehoe regarding his internship application.
“Oh, well that’s alright. We could some other time.” Jensen tried to play it off. It was obvious Jensen was disappointed but there wasn’t much Jared could do about it.
“How about we go out over the weekend or something? We’ll both be free from work hassles and won’t have to worry about getting up early the next day. Whattya say?” Jared suggested. Jensen brightened up at that.
“Yeah, that sounds great. And there should be some decent live bands over the weekend. We can definitely do that.”
“Awesome. I’ll call you about it later then.”
They parted ways that night looking forward to the weekend.
When they met up for drinks at the old Hotel Magee, Jared was expecting some kind of folksy street band to be playing on the stage. He was not expecting to find a garage band tearing it up to a cover of “Welcome to the Jungle.” He easily spotted Jensen by the bar, a bottle of Yuengling in his hand and a smile on his face. Jared made his way over to the man and ordered up his own beer when the bartender asked him what he wanted.
“So who is this band?” Jared asked Jensen.
“They’re called ‘Third Street Bar Mitzvah’. It’s mostly guys I went to high school with and yeah, they’re all stoners. I’m not even sure how they manage to play the instruments sometimes.” Jensen replied laughingly.
“They’re not terrible.” Jared agreed, taking a sip of his own lager.
The band switched into a rousing rendition of “Love Shack”, completely with high-pitched, falsetto vocals. Jared and Jensen had a good laugh when Ian, the lead vocalist, went down for a split and then couldn’t get back up.
Jensen talked about how he met the guys in the band, back in his Little League days. Then he launched into a story that somehow included hot dogs, a broken windshield, and a left-handed mitt, that ended up with Jensen and his brother being threatened with a Citizen’s Arrest by the coach of the opposing team. Honestly, Jared couldn’t follow the weaving story if he tried; he was too busy enjoying Jensen’s company.
And the beer. They’d each had a few by the time the band came out for it’s third, and Jared was pretty sure entirely unasked for, encore.
As Jared turned and headed down the street to his place, he swore he felt Jensen's eyes following him down the street. By some force of will, he managed not to turn around and give a tiny wave. But barely.
Jared was so screwed.
Part Five