tvxq: dear heechul-sshi
dear heechul-sshi
bandfic. 794w.
Scene: the living room, Saturday afternoon. Changmin tries to evenly divide his attention between his homework and the scantily clad women on the TV screen. For the past ten minutes there has been noise filtering down the hallway. After a loud crash, Jaejoong emerges, looking relatively unscathed, and flops onto the couch.
"There's been a coup," he announces. "Yunho's being held hostage in the bedroom until he gets some rest."
Changmin looks up from his book. "Who's in charge now?"
"Me."
"That's kind of alarming."
Jaejoong pulls his knees under himself, scooting closer. "How's your day been?"
Changmin puts his book away and affects a bored look. "Same as always. Sang, danced. Walked on water."
"No cure for cancer yet?"
"I did find one for AIDS, though."
Jaejoong's hand goes for a hair-ruffle that Changmin tries halfheartedly to duck away from. "You're late. I solved that one last week."
Changmin's about to say something about how his cure is vanilla-scented and also whitens your teeth, but Yoochun waltzes in from the hallway and interrupts with dramatic flair, "Captain Crunch."
"Toucan Sam?"
"I got something for you." Yoochun throws Jaejoong a cellphone that looks suspiciously like Yunho's, grinning as Jaejoong gestures him over for a messy, congratulatory kiss on the cheek. Changmin watches Yoochun disappear into the kitchen for a well-deserved fridge raid.
"Are you fraternizing, captain?" he asks.
Jaejoong shrugs and leans back against the cushions, tossing what is definitely Yunho's cellphone from one hand to the other. "I need your help."
"What kind of help?"
Jaejoong's wearing that smile that says, very plainly, no good will come of this. "I need you to help me text love letters to Heechul with Yunho's phone."
Changmin tries to look scandalized. He fails. "I think you're actually the worst role model I’ve ever had," he says instead.
"The best," Jaejoong corrects. "I'm also a really good cook." It’s a convincing argument. Changmin takes the cellphone.
"Dear Heechul-sshi," he begins experimentally.
Jaejoong continues, "You are so gorgeous."
"Your beauty surpasses that of man-eating wildlife," suggests Changmin, waxing poetic.
"I love to admire your slender legs as you kick defenseless puppies."
"Together we could make beautiful, demonic babies."
Jaejoong finishes solemnly, "Please bring the whip."
Scene: eating Chinese takeout at the kitchen table, when Yunho's jeans start to ring. Jaejoong glances up as Yunho digs out his cellphone, then immediately looks back down at his food after Changmin kicks him under the table.
"I what?" says Yunho, incredulously into the phone.
Jaejoong mumbles under his breath, "Ready to run?"
Changmin pokes at his rice. "I'm an innocent bystander," he says, disinterested, "dragged into this conflict against his will."
"Babies," says Yunho.
Yoochun smiles breezily from the other side of the table. "People stopped believing the innocent shtick after you televised your pornography habits."
Changmin winces. "Can we not talk about that?"
"Whip?" says Yunho. He sounds bewildered and a little desperate. "Heechul, I never sent--"
There's a beat.
Junsu coughs, "Danger, Captain Crunch, danger."
Jaejoong clears his throat as he stands from the table. "For the record," he says, already trying to slip away, "I did it only because I wanted to see you two finally happy together--"
There's a crash and a flurry of movement. Changmin scoots dutifully out of the way while Yoochun takes the abandoned cellphone, greeting Heechul cheerfully. Yunho and Jaejoong wrestle their way to the living room. Junsu watches the scuffle, his food abandoned. "Changmin," he says, "why don't mommy and daddy love each other anymore?"
Changmin joins him at the kitchen counter, though he takes his food with him. "I think mommy just feels inferior sometimes," he replies, chewing thoughtfully. "Daddy has a bigger rack."
"No, I'm serious," Yoochun is continuing loudly into the phone. "He writes like, Kim Yunho and Jung Heechul everywhere."
In the living room, Yunho looks back with Jaejoong still pinned to the couch and laughing under him. "Hey!"
Yoochun waves from the kitchen and adds, "He's just shy, you know?"
Yunho groans into Jaejoong's neck as Jaejoong pets his hair sympathetically. Junsu, never one to miss out, flutters over to join the group hug, dragging Changmin with him. Jaejoong exhales with a soft oof from the sudden weight. Eventually Yoochun comes over to kneel at the side of the couch, holding the cellphone at the squirming mass that used to be his bandmates. "Say goodbye to Heechul, everyone."
"Give him a chance!" Changmin shouts from the top of heap as Jaejoong says simultaneously, muffled, "He's a gentle and innovative lover!" Junsu makes a wet kissing noise at the speaker. Yunho looks like he wants to die. Yoochun finishes, "bye, Heechul," before he hangs up in order to rescue Jaejoong from the bottom of the pile.
bandfic. 794w.
Scene: the living room, Saturday afternoon. Changmin tries to evenly divide his attention between his homework and the scantily clad women on the TV screen. For the past ten minutes there has been noise filtering down the hallway. After a loud crash, Jaejoong emerges, looking relatively unscathed, and flops onto the couch.
"There's been a coup," he announces. "Yunho's being held hostage in the bedroom until he gets some rest."
Changmin looks up from his book. "Who's in charge now?"
"Me."
"That's kind of alarming."
Jaejoong pulls his knees under himself, scooting closer. "How's your day been?"
Changmin puts his book away and affects a bored look. "Same as always. Sang, danced. Walked on water."
"No cure for cancer yet?"
"I did find one for AIDS, though."
Jaejoong's hand goes for a hair-ruffle that Changmin tries halfheartedly to duck away from. "You're late. I solved that one last week."
Changmin's about to say something about how his cure is vanilla-scented and also whitens your teeth, but Yoochun waltzes in from the hallway and interrupts with dramatic flair, "Captain Crunch."
"Toucan Sam?"
"I got something for you." Yoochun throws Jaejoong a cellphone that looks suspiciously like Yunho's, grinning as Jaejoong gestures him over for a messy, congratulatory kiss on the cheek. Changmin watches Yoochun disappear into the kitchen for a well-deserved fridge raid.
"Are you fraternizing, captain?" he asks.
Jaejoong shrugs and leans back against the cushions, tossing what is definitely Yunho's cellphone from one hand to the other. "I need your help."
"What kind of help?"
Jaejoong's wearing that smile that says, very plainly, no good will come of this. "I need you to help me text love letters to Heechul with Yunho's phone."
Changmin tries to look scandalized. He fails. "I think you're actually the worst role model I’ve ever had," he says instead.
"The best," Jaejoong corrects. "I'm also a really good cook." It’s a convincing argument. Changmin takes the cellphone.
"Dear Heechul-sshi," he begins experimentally.
Jaejoong continues, "You are so gorgeous."
"Your beauty surpasses that of man-eating wildlife," suggests Changmin, waxing poetic.
"I love to admire your slender legs as you kick defenseless puppies."
"Together we could make beautiful, demonic babies."
Jaejoong finishes solemnly, "Please bring the whip."
Scene: eating Chinese takeout at the kitchen table, when Yunho's jeans start to ring. Jaejoong glances up as Yunho digs out his cellphone, then immediately looks back down at his food after Changmin kicks him under the table.
"I what?" says Yunho, incredulously into the phone.
Jaejoong mumbles under his breath, "Ready to run?"
Changmin pokes at his rice. "I'm an innocent bystander," he says, disinterested, "dragged into this conflict against his will."
"Babies," says Yunho.
Yoochun smiles breezily from the other side of the table. "People stopped believing the innocent shtick after you televised your pornography habits."
Changmin winces. "Can we not talk about that?"
"Whip?" says Yunho. He sounds bewildered and a little desperate. "Heechul, I never sent--"
There's a beat.
Junsu coughs, "Danger, Captain Crunch, danger."
Jaejoong clears his throat as he stands from the table. "For the record," he says, already trying to slip away, "I did it only because I wanted to see you two finally happy together--"
There's a crash and a flurry of movement. Changmin scoots dutifully out of the way while Yoochun takes the abandoned cellphone, greeting Heechul cheerfully. Yunho and Jaejoong wrestle their way to the living room. Junsu watches the scuffle, his food abandoned. "Changmin," he says, "why don't mommy and daddy love each other anymore?"
Changmin joins him at the kitchen counter, though he takes his food with him. "I think mommy just feels inferior sometimes," he replies, chewing thoughtfully. "Daddy has a bigger rack."
"No, I'm serious," Yoochun is continuing loudly into the phone. "He writes like, Kim Yunho and Jung Heechul everywhere."
In the living room, Yunho looks back with Jaejoong still pinned to the couch and laughing under him. "Hey!"
Yoochun waves from the kitchen and adds, "He's just shy, you know?"
Yunho groans into Jaejoong's neck as Jaejoong pets his hair sympathetically. Junsu, never one to miss out, flutters over to join the group hug, dragging Changmin with him. Jaejoong exhales with a soft oof from the sudden weight. Eventually Yoochun comes over to kneel at the side of the couch, holding the cellphone at the squirming mass that used to be his bandmates. "Say goodbye to Heechul, everyone."
"Give him a chance!" Changmin shouts from the top of heap as Jaejoong says simultaneously, muffled, "He's a gentle and innovative lover!" Junsu makes a wet kissing noise at the speaker. Yunho looks like he wants to die. Yoochun finishes, "bye, Heechul," before he hangs up in order to rescue Jaejoong from the bottom of the pile.