fic: (At the End of the Day) I Have Myself to Blame
TITLE: (At the End of the Day) I Have Myself to Blame
AUTHOR: Brio
WORDS: 5,700ish
RATING: NC-17. (Warnings: Angst, fluff, sex, musical number. Not in that order.)
PROMPT: The prompt was long and rambly. Here is a much shorter version: Lea and Dianna were together and there was an arrangement with Theo being in New York. Then Theo moves to LA and Lea and Dianna end whatever they’re doing.
NOTES: Pleasurechest prompted me with something beautiful (my summary doesn’t do it any justice) and I had to write it. Forget any sort of achele interaction you’ve seen over the past few months. It doesn’t apply here. Thanks to darch for the beta.
With the script for episode eighteen tucked safely under her arm, Dianna makes her way to her car after a long day of filming and rehearsals. Her muscles ache in a good way, reminding her that she’s put in a solid day’s work and she knows that as soon as she climbs into bed, she’ll fall asleep fast.
She hears voices approach, laughter ringing out across the lot and fumbles in her haste to get into the car, dropping the keys out of sight. She sighs, placing her bag and script on the roof of her car and bends down to reach around for the keys. When she straightens up, a pair of dark brown eyes meets hers.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself,” the brunette replies, a small smile crossing her lips. “We’re going to get sushi before bed if you want to come.”
Dianna glances away for a second, contemplating her options. She would love sushi. She would love to go out with her friends and eat a great meal.
“I can’t,” she says, shaking her head and reaching for her bag and script.
Lea walks around the car and leans against the backdoor, folding her arms across her chest.
“What, Lea? I’m tired. It’s been a long day and I want to get some sleep,” Dianna says, opening her door now. The brunette doesn’t budge.
“We said we’d try to be friends,” she says quietly. “I don’t want to lose you…”
“You lost me the minute you chose him,” Dianna hisses, trying to ignore the sting of the tears collecting at the corners of her eyes. She takes a shaky breath and steadies herself against the car. Lea tries to reach out for the blonde’s arm but Dianna jerks away, hitting her hand against the edge of the door. She swears under her breath, rubbing the spot that’s already started to bruise.
“I’m sorry,” Lea says, dropping her arm and taking a few steps back. “I miss you.”
When Dianna doesn’t respond, the brunette turns and walks to her own car. Taking another deep breath, Dianna throws her bag and the script onto the front seat of her car and rushes away, the tears spilling onto her cheeks.
At her apartment, she’s greeted by her dog and stoops down to scratch behind his ears. He follows behind her as she moves from room to room, closing curtains and switching on lights. She leaves the script on the couch, ready to be leafed through while she eats her dinner.
She prefers to cook in silence now. Too many of her songs, her favourite artists bring up memories of times when they cooked together; playlists of upbeat songs for when they were (miraculously) full of energy after their day at work, slower songs for when they were tired. And one playlist that usually distracted them from cooking, one that usually led them out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the bedroom.
Dianna decides, as she chops up vegetables for a salad, that when she finally gets around to deleting everything from that iPod, that playlist will be the first to go.
Johnny is waiting patiently on the couch when she comes through from the kitchen, a plate in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Together they watch an episode of Most Haunted while Dianna eats her dinner and drains her wineglass before she reaches for her script.
The third page contains the songlist and she’s pretty sure her jaw drops when she reads her name next to one of the songs and her heart stops when she realises who she’s going to be singing with. Convinced that it’s some sort of joke, she flicks through the script rapidly to the scene.
With shaking hands, she dials Chris’ number, knowing that he won’t be with the others for sushi. He’s under strict instructions to rest following a small bout of laryngitis.
“Have you read your script?” Dianna asks before Chris can say hello.
“Good evening, Di,” he says serenely, silencing the television in the background.
“We’re singing a song together. Just her and me. Together.”
“You and Lea?” he asks. There’s the sound of pages being turned. “Wow. Ooh, Lady Gaga!”
“Chris, are they insane? They know things are weird between us…”
“They’ll have their reasons, Di. Maybe it’ll make sense within the context of the show…”
There’s a moment of silence while they both contemplate this notion.
“I can’t sing with her,” Dianna says, closing her eyes and leaning back against the couch. “I can’t. It’s hard enough being in the same room when we’re filming or rehearsing but putting us in a studio together? It’s crazy.”
“Maybe it’ll be good for the both of you…” Chris says quietly. “Maybe it’ll give you both a chance to talk about things, clear the air…”
“The air is pretty clear,” Dianna retorts. “She chose him.”
“I know,” Chris says gently. “I know she did. But you need to move on, Di.”
Dianna falls silent, closing her script with a small sigh.
“Go to bed, get a good night’s sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow. Promise.”
They say their goodnights and Dianna drinks another glass of wine before turning in for the night. She places a kiss on top of Johnny’s head as he goes to curl up in his bed and switches off the light in the lounge.
It’s just after midnight as she folds back the covers on her side of the bed (not that anyone else uses the other side) and the messages start; apologies and rambling messages that indicate Lea has had a few too many cups of sake.
After the fifth message, Dianna calls Cory, squinting into the darkness of her room as she presses her phone to her ear.
“Is she okay?” Dianna asks.
“I’ve just dropped her off,” Cory says. “She’s okay. She’ll be okay.”
Dianna nods despite realising that Cory can’t see her.
“Thanks, Cory,” she says. “Thanks for getting her home safe.”
Two beeps indicate that someone else is trying to ring Dianna and she hangs up quickly on her friend in order to take the call from Lea.
“Di? Baby?”
“You should be in bed,” Dianna says, pinching the bridge of her nose before glancing at her alarm clock. In five hours, it will be forcing her out of bed regardless of how little she’s slept. At least she won’t be hungover, she figures.
“I wanted to come over but Cory wouldn’t take me. I just miss you so much. So, so much. Do you miss me? Please say you miss me.”
“Go to bed, Lea,” Dianna sighs.
“Not until you tell me,” Lea pleads.
“I miss you,” Dianna replies in a whispered tone. She feels a lump rise in her throat and clears her throat. “Go to bed, before you wake him up.”
“Lea?” Dianna hears a hoarse voice in the background and moments later, the call drops. Exhausted, Dianna tosses her phone onto her bedspread and rolls onto her side, curling up into a ball and squeezing her eyes shut as tightly as possible until she no longer feels like crying.
**
She watches the sunrise from her balcony, sipping on a steaming mug of coffee. Soft footsteps approach and a pair of arms surround her, slipping underneath her robe. She jumps at the contact, smiling as fingertips dance lightly across her skin.
“Your hands are cold,” she murmurs, keeping her eyes on the horizon as she takes another tentative sip.
“Do you want me to stop?”
The tone of the other woman’s voice causes a shiver to run down her spine. She shakes her head and places her mug down on the railing before carefully removing the persistent hands from her body. The taller woman turns, a smile on her face.
“Never,” she whispers, leaning to down to press a kiss to the shorter woman’s lips.
“Come back to bed?” Lea murmurs, breaking the kiss to tug on Dianna’s bottom lip. The blonde wants to protest that they won’t have enough time, that they’ve already been late to the set once this week, but allows herself to be led back inside, watching as Lea unties her own robe and lets it drop to the floor. She gives the blonde woman a wink and saunters towards the bedroom. Dianna takes a deep breath and tugs the belt of her robe, letting it fall open.
“We’re going to be late,” Dianna chastises as she walks into the bedroom before crawling onto the bed next to Lea.
“You’ll be shocked to find that I don’t care,” Lea replies, pulling Dianna closer. “I want you.”
As their lips meet, a siren starts to sound. Dianna looks around in dismay as she forces her eyes open and reaches across to her bedside table to switch the alarm off. She lies back against the pillows and runs a hand over her eyes, wiping the sweat from her forehead.
“Just a dream,” she mutters to herself, drawing the covers up over her head.
**
With a large cup of coffee in hand, Dianna makes her way across the lot to her trailer. Naya is already there, flicking through a script and drinking her own tall caramel macchiato. They greet one another with hugs before Dianna shrugs off her coat and sits down next to the brunette.
“How did last night go?” Dianna asks, taking tentative sips from her cup.
“I called it a night pretty early,” replies the other woman, making a face. “I think some of the others got a little crazy.”
“That’s what I heard,” Dianna grimaces.
“She sent messages again?”
“And called. Cory gave her a ride home. She was wasted. She probably won’t remember a thing,” Dianna shrugs and reaches for her script. Naya places a hand on Dianna’s shoulder. “I have no idea how to handle the duet we’re going to sing.”
“I saw that. How are you feeling about it?”
“I think it’s crazy,” Dianna answers truthfully. “I’m already thinking about asking Ryan if we can record separately. I can’t get over her if we keep getting put into situations like this. Recording ‘Afternoon Delight’ was a nightmare and there were other people there.”
Before Naya can respond, a knock interrupts them. Both women turn expectantly towards the door, waiting for whoever is outside to walk in. Dianna sighs and pushes herself off the couch. She pulls up short when she opens the door to find Lea standing at the bottom of the steps, holding two cups of coffee.
“Can we talk?” Lea asks sheepishly, her eyes hidden behind sunglasses.
Against her better judgement, Dianna nods and steps out of the trailer, taking one of the cups from Lea’s outstretched hand. They walk in silence towards a secluded part of the lot and Lea gestures for Dianna to sit down. Dianna takes a sip from her cup, smiling slightly when she tastes the cinnamon latte.
“It’s still your favourite, right?” Lea asks, joining the blonde on the bench and taking a gulp from her own cup. Dianna knows from the brunette’s grimace that she’s drinking black coffee; the only thing that will get her through her hangover.
Dianna nods, taking another sip.
“How’s your head?” she asks. Lea grimaces.
“Pretty awful,” she says. “I feel like I was hit by a truck then sat through a performance of Stomp!” Lea pauses, shaking her head. “I’m sorry for all the messages. And the phone call. Did I say anything embarrassing?”
Dianna shakes her head, feeling her chest constrict slightly as the need to get away from the brunette begins to flare up inside her. She looks down at her coffee cup, watching her fingers turn white as she tightens her grip.
“Liar,” Lea whispers.
“You said you miss me. You said you miss me so, so much. And then you begged me to tell you that I miss you too,” Dianna closes her eyes as she feels more words bubbling up inside, words that have lain dormant inside her for months. “And of course, I miss you, Lea. How can I not miss you? You’re here all the time. We see each other every day. You ring me up and you send me messages and you won’t let me move on.” Dianna stands up, desperate to get away, desperate to stop revealing every single thought and emotion running through her brain.
“Dianna!” the brunette calls. Dianna pauses, shoulders hunching as she feels a tear drop onto her cheek. “Wait,” Lea’s hand clasps around the blonde’s arm and pulls her back. “I miss you too and I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you but I love him too…”
Dianna freezes, her jaw dropping. Lea continues rambling until the blonde lifts a finger to the brunette’s lips, silencing her immediately.
“You said ‘too’,” Dianna murmurs.
“I did?” Lea asks, biting her bottom lip as she quickly runs through everything she’s said in the past thirty seconds.
“You said you love him too,” Dianna says, tilting her head to the side. Lea starts to blush under the blonde’s intense gaze.
“I did,” Lea confirms. “I love you, Di.”
Dianna flounders for a second and starts to shake her head.
“I do…” Lea moves to put her hand on Dianna’s arm.
“No!” Dianna spits out, shoving the shorter woman away. “Just… don’t.”
The blonde spins on her heel and all but runs back to her trailer. Naya and Heather greet her with questioning looks but know not to ask why she’s crying. They simply make space between them and wait for the tears to dry.
**
Lea greets Cory with a half-hearted wave and slides off her sunglasses as she enters the trailer.
“Morning,” he says with a grin, pausing the video game he’s been trying to complete for the past couple of weeks. “You look a little…”
“I feel like death. Let’s skip the lecture, okay?” Lea replies testily. Cory holds up his hands defensively. “I’m sorry. I just… I somehow managed to make things worse between me and Dianna.”
“What did you do?” he asks curiously, patting the sofa next to him.
“I told her I love her,” Lea says, flopping down onto the sofa. “I went to apologise for last night, the messages and the phone call… and I told her that I love her. Indirectly.”
“You never said that to her? Even before…?”
Lea cuts him off with a curt shake of her head.
“Oh,” Cory says frowning.
“When we started having…” Lea pauses, trying to find the right words. “When we started whatever it was we were doing, I thought I’d be able to keep things separate. I thought that it could be just sex… but it wasn’t. It was never ‘just sex’ and I didn’t know if she felt the same way… I never asked.” The brunette leans her head against her castmate’s shoulder. “And then Theo happened and there was the arrangement.” She rolls her eyes. “And now he’s here and I miss her. I just… miss her.”
“Want to hear something?” Cory asks, putting an arm around Lea’s shoulders as the tiny brunette begins to shake. Her response is muffled against his chest. “She called me last night, to make sure that you got home safe.”
“She did?” Lea sniffles, raising her head from Cory’s chest.
“Yeah,” he nods. “And it’s not the first time.” The brunette doesn’t respond. “Lea, you need to decide what you want.”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” she whispers. “Well, hurt anyone more than I already have. Any more words of wisdom?”
Cory chuckles and shrugs his shoulders.
“Follow your heart,” he says and Lea sighs, disentangling from him.
“That usually works out very well for me, thanks Cory,” she says, reaching for the script lying on the end of the couch.
“Anytime,” he says. “I think you’ll find page three interesting.”
Lea frowns and flips to the list of songs for their next episode. She reads her name next to Dianna’s three times before it registers.
“Is this a joke?” she asks, glancing up at Cory. “We’re singing a duet.”
“They’re also making me do a dance number with Harry…” Cory says, pointing further down the list.
Lea isn’t listening though. Her mind is racing back to when they first started filming Glee, when she and Dianna first met and joked about how amazing it would be to sing a duet together and how it would never happen. She’s so lost in memories that she doesn’t hear the knock on the door or the assistant telling her that they need her in make-up.
Cory waves his hand in front of her and she jumps.
“What?” she asks, glancing at him.
“Time to get to work,” he says, pulling her off the couch.
“Yeah,” Lea replies, walking out of the trailer in a daze.
**
Lea unlocks the door to Dianna’s apartment, a heavy feeling in her stomach. The blonde greets her in the hallway with a hug and a lingering kiss that only increases the heaviness. Dianna grasps her hand and tugs her towards the lounge where there’s a table set up, candles all around and soft music playing from the stereo in the corner of the room. Lea swallows and tries to tell herself that she’s doing the right thing.
“I made your favourite,” Dianna is babbling as she flits around the room. “When you called to say that you were having a bad day, I started thinking of ways I could cheer you up. I made those vegan cupcakes with the chocolate frosting?” Dianna gives her a smile. “And there may or may not be a surprise waiting for you in the bedroom.”
Unable to crush Dianna’s smile, Lea sits down at the table and unfold her napkin as the blonde carries two plates through from the kitchen. They eat mostly in silence and Lea keeps refilling their glasses, hoping that she’ll find courage at the bottom of the wine bottle.
Dinner leads to dessert on the couch and as Dianna draws a frosting-covered finger down Lea’s chest, the brunette finally breaks down in tears she’s been holding back since she arrived.
“What’s wrong?” Dianna asks, drawing back from the brunette, instantly worried. “Lea, honey, what is it?”
“He’s moving to LA,” Lea chokes out.
It takes Dianna a few seconds to register the words but when she does, she pushes herself off the couch and watches as Lea fumbles with the buttons on her shirt.
“You should be happy,” Dianna says coolly. “We both knew this wouldn’t last.” Lea doesn’t respond. “When?”
“In a month or so.”
“Then we should stop,” Dianna intones decisively. “We should end this now.”
“Dianna…” Lea’s voice is pleading.
“I want you to go,” Dianna says firmly. “Please.”
“But…”
“Lea. Please, just go.”
Tears blind the brunette as she stumbles down the stairwell to the parking lot next to Dianna’s apartment. On the last flight of stairs, she trips and starts to tumble, landing with a thud in a broken heap.
Her body jolts as her eyes shoot open and she sits up far too quickly. Squinting, she glances over at her alarm clock, groaning when she realises that she still has another three hours of sleep to go. Beside her, an arm snakes around her waist.
“Are you okay, babe? Bad dream?”
“I’m fine,” Lea responds irritably, lying down again. He falls asleep instantly, leaving the brunette to watch the numbers tick over on her alarm clock. After twelve minutes, she gives up and slides out from under the covers.
In the lounge, she dials her best friend’s number and sinks down onto the couch, wrapping herself in a blanket. She’s fast asleep before the fourth ring.
**
Dianna has been pacing the floor of her trailer since Naya arrived.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet,” she notes, glancing up from her laptop with a small smile.
“Can you go sing for me?” Dianna asks, pausing momentarily. “I’m supposed to be there in half an hour. I can’t do this.”
“Dianna Charlotte Agron, I say this with love, okay?” Naya starts. “You are a professional. You are an actress and you have a part on the biggest show on television right now. You can’t let your feelings for Lea get in the way of you singing this song. I know you can do this and you know it too.”
Dianna nods slightly.
“Thank you,” she says. “I needed that.”
“Anytime,” Naya replies airily. “Now, go kick ass. The song is going to be brilliant and you’re going to sound awesome.”
Unable to find the words, Dianna crosses the floor to the couch and wraps her arms around the other woman. Naya smiles and reaches a hand up to stroke the blonde’s hair.
“It’ll be okay,” she whispers. “And if it isn’t, come over tonight and we’ll get hammered.”
Dianna chuckles and pulls away. She collects her bag and makes her way to the recording studio. Lea’s car is already parked outside and a sinking feeling works its way into Dianna’s gut. It takes her five minutes to convince herself to get out of the car.
She greets the producers with hugs and spots Lea through the glass, headphones on, eyes closed as she nods her head along with music that Dianna can’t hear. She slides off her coat and heads through into the booth. Lea’s eyes flutter open and she scrambles to pull her headphones off, greeting Dianna with a tentative smile.
“Hi,” the brunette whispers. Dianna notes that it’s the first time she’s seen Lea nervous while standing in the recording booth.
“Hello,” Dianna replies, moving towards her microphone and adjusting the sheet music on the stand in front of her. She’s listened to the instrumental version a hundred times and played her part out on the piano while trying to sing along but the dots on the pages look completely unfamiliar. A flash of panic spreads from somewhere in the middle of her chest.
“Okay, we’re a little short on time so let’s get started,” Adam’s voice fills the booth and he smiles at both women from the other side of the glass. Dianna adjusts her headphones nervously and listens to the intro. Nerves getting the better of her, she starts to sing half a bar early. She blushes furiously and apologises.
“Is everything okay, Di?” Adam asks, concern etched on his face.
“I’m fine,” Dianna replies. “I just need a minute.”
She slides off her headphones and runs a hand over her forehead before tangling it in her hair as anxiety starts to overcome her. Lea recognises the gesture and steps towards the blonde.
“Are you okay?” Lea asks, resting a hand on Dianna’s back and rubbing it in circles. “Pretend I’m not here, if that helps. I know this can’t be easy for you.”
“That won’t help,” Dianna responds. “Let’s just try again…”
Lea drops her hand and moves back to her microphone. Dianna pulls her headphones on again and listens to the intro, hitting her cue this time. As she sings through the first verse, she’s aware that Lea is staring at her and consequently misses her cue.
She shoots the brunette a grin and rolls her eyes as Lea glances apologetically at the people on the other side of the glass.
“I’m sorry,” Lea grimaces. “Third time’s the charm, right?”
The intro plays for a third time and Dianna feels more confident now, allowing herself to relax a little as she sings.
“I was told I was beautiful, but what does that mean to you?”
The blonde shoots a sideways glance towards the shorter woman and finds her watching again, a look of pride on her face. The nervousness in Dianna’s stomach is replaced by something else and a smile crosses her lips.
“My outsides are cool, my insides are blue and every time I think I’m through, it’s because of you,” Lea sings, not bothering to look at her music or the producers. Her eyes are locked with Dianna’s throughout the entire verse. “At the end of the day, I have myself to blame.”
Adam is about to signal for them to stop when Ryan shakes his head, gesturing to let them continue. They sit back and watch the two young women run into the chorus, surprised by how perfect the harmonies sound.
Dianna is now staring determinedly at her music, concentrating on hitting every note perfectly, though it’s difficult when she can feel Lea’s eyes boring into her from a few feet away.
When the brunette takes the lead in the second verse, Dianna sneaks a glance at her, watching Lea sing from the sheet music this time.
“Just a little bit skinny,” Dianna sings absently as Lea glances in her direction again causing the blonde’s eyes to rocket back to Adam on the other side of the glass. He gives her a thumbs up as she begins to blush. As Lea builds into the high note at the end of the verse, Dianna finds her gaze pulled towards the brunette again. Lea is waiting to meet her stare, a smile spreading across both of their faces as they launch into another chorus.
“It looks like we were panicking for no reason,” Ryan muses, watching the two women on the other side of the glass with interest. Adam nods in agreement.
’’You were panicking,” Adam says with a smile, refusing to let his awe overcome him; he never expected these two, out of all the members of the cast, to sound so sublime together, like they’ve been made to sing with one another.
As they reach the bridge, it’s Lea who moves first, holding out her hand towards the blonde. She’s holding back though. The emotions running through her are indescribable and all she wants to do is wrap Dianna up in her arms and kiss her. She’s never heard the blonde sound so beautiful and as Lea sings the apex of the song, she sees tears in Dianna’s eyes and feels the blonde grasp her hand. It feels like she might never let go.
Dianna squeezes the brunette’s hand as they sing the final chorus, their voices weaving through the intricate harmonies flawlessly. She always feels nervous in the recording booth but with the way Lea is smiling at her and the way they hit note after note exactly the way they’re meant to, her nerves slide away.
’’I feel pretty, but unpretty.”
They end the final note and there’s a moment of hesitation followed by applause from the other side of the glass but neither woman hears it. Lea tosses her headphones off before closing the distance between them and they meet in a hug so fierce that Dianna swears she feels something inside her pop. A minute passes before either of them dares to speak. Dianna feels the shorter woman shift in her arms and lips graze a spot just below her ear.
“I love you.”
The tone of Lea’s words sends a shiver down Dianna’s spine and she takes a shaky breath before opening her mouth to speak.
“I love you too,” she whispers, burying her head in the crook of the brunette’s neck. She can feel Lea shaking in her arms and knows that the shorter woman is crying now, face turned away so that Adam and Ryan and the others can’t see.
“Take me home?” Lea whispers. “Please?”
“Are you sure?” Dianna murmurs, sighing when she feels Lea’s lips below her ear again.
Another minute passes before Dianna pulls back, reaching up to wipe a tear from Lea’s cheek. She smiles and half-turns to face the others, joking about how emotional they’re being. Lea smiles back, a hopeful smile that makes Dianna’s heart melt or sing or explode, she isn’t entirely sure. She slips her hand into the brunette’s and leads her out of the booth, grabbing their bags as they exit the studio, leaving Adam and Ryan staring after them in bewilderment.
“I guess we’re done here.”
**
Neither woman dares to speak, afraid to break whatever spell the song has cast over them, as they make their way to Dianna’s apartment. It’s Lea who tugs Dianna towards the elevator, making sure their bodies are never more than a couple of inches apart as they start to ascend towards the fifth floor.
Fingers intertwined, Dianna leads the brunette down the corridor and unlocks the door, pushing it wide to let Lea pass before following the shorter woman inside. Johnny bounds towards the pair, running in excited circles as they walk towards the lounge. Lea starts to laugh and bends down to hug him, smiling when he tries to give her a paw.
“I missed you too,” Dianna hears Lea whisper as she leans against the doorframe, watching the brunette wrestle the dog to the ground. After a minute or two, she clears her throat and waits for Lea to get to her feet. Johnny regards them for a few seconds before losing interest and running back to his bed.
“Hey you,” Dianna smiles and holds out her hand. Tentatively, the brunette takes hold of the outstretched hand, gasping when Dianna pulls her in close.
“Hi,” Lea squeaks before clearing her throat. “Hi,” she tries again, reaching up to brush the bangs out of Dianna’s eyes. “Just in case I haven’t made this clear, I’ve really missed you… being this close to you…” Her fingertips trail down Dianna’s cheek causing the blonde to shiver. “Feeling you shiver when I touch you…” Dianna rolls her eyes when Lea chuckles. “Kissing you…”
Their eyes lock and Lea can see the hazel eyes darken. Dianna bows her head and Lea takes the gesture as consent.
Their lips meet, cautious at first, the way Dianna remembers their first kiss so many months ago. Lea closes the sliver of space between them, tangling her hand in Dianna’s hair and the blonde sighs against Lea’s parted lips.
“Dianna,” Lea murmurs, breaking away to press kisses along the blonde’s jawline, dipping down to graze a sensitive patch of skin on her neck.
Both women are a little surprised when they find themselves standing in the middle of the bedroom floor, mouths moving lazily against one another’s until Lea begins to unbutton Dianna’s shirt.
“Is this okay?” Lea asks, pushing the shirt off Dianna’s shoulders and kissing along her collar bone. Dianna nods and tosses the shirt to the floor. Her skirt and boots follow and she finds herself being pushed towards the bed.
Lea pauses before joining the blonde, taking a few seconds to just stare, to take in the body that’s familiar but somewhat foreign to her.
“What?” Dianna asks, frowning when Lea seems to hesitate.
“You’re beautiful,” Lea whispers. “I’m sorry I never told you more often.”
Dianna blushes, watching as Lea slips out of her jeans and shirt. She feels another shiver run through her body, a pulse coursing through her as she watches the brunette climb onto the bed.
“I feel like we’re skipping some pretty important conversation time,” Lea says, descending on the taller woman’s body with kisses and feather light touches that feel like fire to the blonde.
“Later,” Dianna mutters, too distracted by the feel of Lea’s skin against her own to even contemplate holding any sort of discussion. “Just tell me…”
“I’m yours. Only yours,” Lea confirms, placing a kiss against Dianna’s lips, too soft, too tentative for the blonde. She arches up against the brunette, relishing the feel of their bodies melding together, the friction she causes.
And then the teasing touches, the butterfly kisses, stop. Lea’s lips meet hers more forcefully, urgently and deft hands move down the blonde’s body, ridding her of the last of her clothing. She watches as Dianna’s eyes slide shut, mouth parting in a silent moan as her fingertips begin to trace patterns on the outside of the blonde’s thigh.
Dianna’s hips roll upwards when Lea stalls, urging the brunette to continue. Months of longing and imagining and remembering have taken their toll and more than anything, she needs to feel Lea.
“Please.”
The whispered word is all Lea needs as reassurance that she’s doing the right thing, that she’s making the right decision. Shifting above the blonde, she slides her hand between Dianna’s thighs, fingertips seeking. Dianna spreads her legs a little wider, encouraging the brunette and moans when she feels Lea slide a finger over her clit. Exhaling heavily, the blonde pleads again and grinds upwards into Lea’s hand.
Dianna swears a lifetime passes before she feels Lea slowly push inside her. Her body curls at the sensation; a smile, a moan which gives way into a sigh of relief and another whispered plea.
Lea’s trepidation falls away at Dianna’s encouragement and she curls her fingers, groaning when Dianna thrusts her hips upwards to meet her hand. A few muttered oaths to god and laboured breaths fall from Dianna’s lips and she begs for Lea to go faster, harder. Lea complies and watches the blonde strain upwards, neck arching as she throws her head back.
Too soon, Dianna thinks as she feels muscles all over her body begin to tighten. She tries to slow down, to calm herself but the pressure of Lea’s body above her, the feeling of Lea’s fingers thrusting quick and hard between her legs, the sound of Lea’s voice and the feel of the Lea’s mouth on her neck, her shoulder… she feels everything clench and Lea is moaning in her ear, telling her to come as she presses the pad of her thumb against the blonde’s clit.
Lea watches in awe as the blonde tumbles over the edge, tears springing to her eyes as she tries to catch her own breath. She starts to move, shifting onto her side but Dianna shakes her head and holds her fast, arms surrounding the brunette.
“Just stay,” Dianna whispers, pressing a kiss to Lea’s lips. “Please.”
“Okay.”
AUTHOR: Brio
WORDS: 5,700ish
RATING: NC-17. (Warnings: Angst, fluff, sex, musical number. Not in that order.)
PROMPT: The prompt was long and rambly. Here is a much shorter version: Lea and Dianna were together and there was an arrangement with Theo being in New York. Then Theo moves to LA and Lea and Dianna end whatever they’re doing.
NOTES: Pleasurechest prompted me with something beautiful (my summary doesn’t do it any justice) and I had to write it. Forget any sort of achele interaction you’ve seen over the past few months. It doesn’t apply here. Thanks to darch for the beta.
With the script for episode eighteen tucked safely under her arm, Dianna makes her way to her car after a long day of filming and rehearsals. Her muscles ache in a good way, reminding her that she’s put in a solid day’s work and she knows that as soon as she climbs into bed, she’ll fall asleep fast.
She hears voices approach, laughter ringing out across the lot and fumbles in her haste to get into the car, dropping the keys out of sight. She sighs, placing her bag and script on the roof of her car and bends down to reach around for the keys. When she straightens up, a pair of dark brown eyes meets hers.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself,” the brunette replies, a small smile crossing her lips. “We’re going to get sushi before bed if you want to come.”
Dianna glances away for a second, contemplating her options. She would love sushi. She would love to go out with her friends and eat a great meal.
“I can’t,” she says, shaking her head and reaching for her bag and script.
Lea walks around the car and leans against the backdoor, folding her arms across her chest.
“What, Lea? I’m tired. It’s been a long day and I want to get some sleep,” Dianna says, opening her door now. The brunette doesn’t budge.
“We said we’d try to be friends,” she says quietly. “I don’t want to lose you…”
“You lost me the minute you chose him,” Dianna hisses, trying to ignore the sting of the tears collecting at the corners of her eyes. She takes a shaky breath and steadies herself against the car. Lea tries to reach out for the blonde’s arm but Dianna jerks away, hitting her hand against the edge of the door. She swears under her breath, rubbing the spot that’s already started to bruise.
“I’m sorry,” Lea says, dropping her arm and taking a few steps back. “I miss you.”
When Dianna doesn’t respond, the brunette turns and walks to her own car. Taking another deep breath, Dianna throws her bag and the script onto the front seat of her car and rushes away, the tears spilling onto her cheeks.
At her apartment, she’s greeted by her dog and stoops down to scratch behind his ears. He follows behind her as she moves from room to room, closing curtains and switching on lights. She leaves the script on the couch, ready to be leafed through while she eats her dinner.
She prefers to cook in silence now. Too many of her songs, her favourite artists bring up memories of times when they cooked together; playlists of upbeat songs for when they were (miraculously) full of energy after their day at work, slower songs for when they were tired. And one playlist that usually distracted them from cooking, one that usually led them out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the bedroom.
Dianna decides, as she chops up vegetables for a salad, that when she finally gets around to deleting everything from that iPod, that playlist will be the first to go.
Johnny is waiting patiently on the couch when she comes through from the kitchen, a plate in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Together they watch an episode of Most Haunted while Dianna eats her dinner and drains her wineglass before she reaches for her script.
The third page contains the songlist and she’s pretty sure her jaw drops when she reads her name next to one of the songs and her heart stops when she realises who she’s going to be singing with. Convinced that it’s some sort of joke, she flicks through the script rapidly to the scene.
With shaking hands, she dials Chris’ number, knowing that he won’t be with the others for sushi. He’s under strict instructions to rest following a small bout of laryngitis.
“Have you read your script?” Dianna asks before Chris can say hello.
“Good evening, Di,” he says serenely, silencing the television in the background.
“We’re singing a song together. Just her and me. Together.”
“You and Lea?” he asks. There’s the sound of pages being turned. “Wow. Ooh, Lady Gaga!”
“Chris, are they insane? They know things are weird between us…”
“They’ll have their reasons, Di. Maybe it’ll make sense within the context of the show…”
There’s a moment of silence while they both contemplate this notion.
“I can’t sing with her,” Dianna says, closing her eyes and leaning back against the couch. “I can’t. It’s hard enough being in the same room when we’re filming or rehearsing but putting us in a studio together? It’s crazy.”
“Maybe it’ll be good for the both of you…” Chris says quietly. “Maybe it’ll give you both a chance to talk about things, clear the air…”
“The air is pretty clear,” Dianna retorts. “She chose him.”
“I know,” Chris says gently. “I know she did. But you need to move on, Di.”
Dianna falls silent, closing her script with a small sigh.
“Go to bed, get a good night’s sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow. Promise.”
They say their goodnights and Dianna drinks another glass of wine before turning in for the night. She places a kiss on top of Johnny’s head as he goes to curl up in his bed and switches off the light in the lounge.
It’s just after midnight as she folds back the covers on her side of the bed (not that anyone else uses the other side) and the messages start; apologies and rambling messages that indicate Lea has had a few too many cups of sake.
After the fifth message, Dianna calls Cory, squinting into the darkness of her room as she presses her phone to her ear.
“Is she okay?” Dianna asks.
“I’ve just dropped her off,” Cory says. “She’s okay. She’ll be okay.”
Dianna nods despite realising that Cory can’t see her.
“Thanks, Cory,” she says. “Thanks for getting her home safe.”
Two beeps indicate that someone else is trying to ring Dianna and she hangs up quickly on her friend in order to take the call from Lea.
“Di? Baby?”
“You should be in bed,” Dianna says, pinching the bridge of her nose before glancing at her alarm clock. In five hours, it will be forcing her out of bed regardless of how little she’s slept. At least she won’t be hungover, she figures.
“I wanted to come over but Cory wouldn’t take me. I just miss you so much. So, so much. Do you miss me? Please say you miss me.”
“Go to bed, Lea,” Dianna sighs.
“Not until you tell me,” Lea pleads.
“I miss you,” Dianna replies in a whispered tone. She feels a lump rise in her throat and clears her throat. “Go to bed, before you wake him up.”
“Lea?” Dianna hears a hoarse voice in the background and moments later, the call drops. Exhausted, Dianna tosses her phone onto her bedspread and rolls onto her side, curling up into a ball and squeezing her eyes shut as tightly as possible until she no longer feels like crying.
**
She watches the sunrise from her balcony, sipping on a steaming mug of coffee. Soft footsteps approach and a pair of arms surround her, slipping underneath her robe. She jumps at the contact, smiling as fingertips dance lightly across her skin.
“Your hands are cold,” she murmurs, keeping her eyes on the horizon as she takes another tentative sip.
“Do you want me to stop?”
The tone of the other woman’s voice causes a shiver to run down her spine. She shakes her head and places her mug down on the railing before carefully removing the persistent hands from her body. The taller woman turns, a smile on her face.
“Never,” she whispers, leaning to down to press a kiss to the shorter woman’s lips.
“Come back to bed?” Lea murmurs, breaking the kiss to tug on Dianna’s bottom lip. The blonde wants to protest that they won’t have enough time, that they’ve already been late to the set once this week, but allows herself to be led back inside, watching as Lea unties her own robe and lets it drop to the floor. She gives the blonde woman a wink and saunters towards the bedroom. Dianna takes a deep breath and tugs the belt of her robe, letting it fall open.
“We’re going to be late,” Dianna chastises as she walks into the bedroom before crawling onto the bed next to Lea.
“You’ll be shocked to find that I don’t care,” Lea replies, pulling Dianna closer. “I want you.”
As their lips meet, a siren starts to sound. Dianna looks around in dismay as she forces her eyes open and reaches across to her bedside table to switch the alarm off. She lies back against the pillows and runs a hand over her eyes, wiping the sweat from her forehead.
“Just a dream,” she mutters to herself, drawing the covers up over her head.
**
With a large cup of coffee in hand, Dianna makes her way across the lot to her trailer. Naya is already there, flicking through a script and drinking her own tall caramel macchiato. They greet one another with hugs before Dianna shrugs off her coat and sits down next to the brunette.
“How did last night go?” Dianna asks, taking tentative sips from her cup.
“I called it a night pretty early,” replies the other woman, making a face. “I think some of the others got a little crazy.”
“That’s what I heard,” Dianna grimaces.
“She sent messages again?”
“And called. Cory gave her a ride home. She was wasted. She probably won’t remember a thing,” Dianna shrugs and reaches for her script. Naya places a hand on Dianna’s shoulder. “I have no idea how to handle the duet we’re going to sing.”
“I saw that. How are you feeling about it?”
“I think it’s crazy,” Dianna answers truthfully. “I’m already thinking about asking Ryan if we can record separately. I can’t get over her if we keep getting put into situations like this. Recording ‘Afternoon Delight’ was a nightmare and there were other people there.”
Before Naya can respond, a knock interrupts them. Both women turn expectantly towards the door, waiting for whoever is outside to walk in. Dianna sighs and pushes herself off the couch. She pulls up short when she opens the door to find Lea standing at the bottom of the steps, holding two cups of coffee.
“Can we talk?” Lea asks sheepishly, her eyes hidden behind sunglasses.
Against her better judgement, Dianna nods and steps out of the trailer, taking one of the cups from Lea’s outstretched hand. They walk in silence towards a secluded part of the lot and Lea gestures for Dianna to sit down. Dianna takes a sip from her cup, smiling slightly when she tastes the cinnamon latte.
“It’s still your favourite, right?” Lea asks, joining the blonde on the bench and taking a gulp from her own cup. Dianna knows from the brunette’s grimace that she’s drinking black coffee; the only thing that will get her through her hangover.
Dianna nods, taking another sip.
“How’s your head?” she asks. Lea grimaces.
“Pretty awful,” she says. “I feel like I was hit by a truck then sat through a performance of Stomp!” Lea pauses, shaking her head. “I’m sorry for all the messages. And the phone call. Did I say anything embarrassing?”
Dianna shakes her head, feeling her chest constrict slightly as the need to get away from the brunette begins to flare up inside her. She looks down at her coffee cup, watching her fingers turn white as she tightens her grip.
“Liar,” Lea whispers.
“You said you miss me. You said you miss me so, so much. And then you begged me to tell you that I miss you too,” Dianna closes her eyes as she feels more words bubbling up inside, words that have lain dormant inside her for months. “And of course, I miss you, Lea. How can I not miss you? You’re here all the time. We see each other every day. You ring me up and you send me messages and you won’t let me move on.” Dianna stands up, desperate to get away, desperate to stop revealing every single thought and emotion running through her brain.
“Dianna!” the brunette calls. Dianna pauses, shoulders hunching as she feels a tear drop onto her cheek. “Wait,” Lea’s hand clasps around the blonde’s arm and pulls her back. “I miss you too and I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you but I love him too…”
Dianna freezes, her jaw dropping. Lea continues rambling until the blonde lifts a finger to the brunette’s lips, silencing her immediately.
“You said ‘too’,” Dianna murmurs.
“I did?” Lea asks, biting her bottom lip as she quickly runs through everything she’s said in the past thirty seconds.
“You said you love him too,” Dianna says, tilting her head to the side. Lea starts to blush under the blonde’s intense gaze.
“I did,” Lea confirms. “I love you, Di.”
Dianna flounders for a second and starts to shake her head.
“I do…” Lea moves to put her hand on Dianna’s arm.
“No!” Dianna spits out, shoving the shorter woman away. “Just… don’t.”
The blonde spins on her heel and all but runs back to her trailer. Naya and Heather greet her with questioning looks but know not to ask why she’s crying. They simply make space between them and wait for the tears to dry.
**
Lea greets Cory with a half-hearted wave and slides off her sunglasses as she enters the trailer.
“Morning,” he says with a grin, pausing the video game he’s been trying to complete for the past couple of weeks. “You look a little…”
“I feel like death. Let’s skip the lecture, okay?” Lea replies testily. Cory holds up his hands defensively. “I’m sorry. I just… I somehow managed to make things worse between me and Dianna.”
“What did you do?” he asks curiously, patting the sofa next to him.
“I told her I love her,” Lea says, flopping down onto the sofa. “I went to apologise for last night, the messages and the phone call… and I told her that I love her. Indirectly.”
“You never said that to her? Even before…?”
Lea cuts him off with a curt shake of her head.
“Oh,” Cory says frowning.
“When we started having…” Lea pauses, trying to find the right words. “When we started whatever it was we were doing, I thought I’d be able to keep things separate. I thought that it could be just sex… but it wasn’t. It was never ‘just sex’ and I didn’t know if she felt the same way… I never asked.” The brunette leans her head against her castmate’s shoulder. “And then Theo happened and there was the arrangement.” She rolls her eyes. “And now he’s here and I miss her. I just… miss her.”
“Want to hear something?” Cory asks, putting an arm around Lea’s shoulders as the tiny brunette begins to shake. Her response is muffled against his chest. “She called me last night, to make sure that you got home safe.”
“She did?” Lea sniffles, raising her head from Cory’s chest.
“Yeah,” he nods. “And it’s not the first time.” The brunette doesn’t respond. “Lea, you need to decide what you want.”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” she whispers. “Well, hurt anyone more than I already have. Any more words of wisdom?”
Cory chuckles and shrugs his shoulders.
“Follow your heart,” he says and Lea sighs, disentangling from him.
“That usually works out very well for me, thanks Cory,” she says, reaching for the script lying on the end of the couch.
“Anytime,” he says. “I think you’ll find page three interesting.”
Lea frowns and flips to the list of songs for their next episode. She reads her name next to Dianna’s three times before it registers.
“Is this a joke?” she asks, glancing up at Cory. “We’re singing a duet.”
“They’re also making me do a dance number with Harry…” Cory says, pointing further down the list.
Lea isn’t listening though. Her mind is racing back to when they first started filming Glee, when she and Dianna first met and joked about how amazing it would be to sing a duet together and how it would never happen. She’s so lost in memories that she doesn’t hear the knock on the door or the assistant telling her that they need her in make-up.
Cory waves his hand in front of her and she jumps.
“What?” she asks, glancing at him.
“Time to get to work,” he says, pulling her off the couch.
“Yeah,” Lea replies, walking out of the trailer in a daze.
**
Lea unlocks the door to Dianna’s apartment, a heavy feeling in her stomach. The blonde greets her in the hallway with a hug and a lingering kiss that only increases the heaviness. Dianna grasps her hand and tugs her towards the lounge where there’s a table set up, candles all around and soft music playing from the stereo in the corner of the room. Lea swallows and tries to tell herself that she’s doing the right thing.
“I made your favourite,” Dianna is babbling as she flits around the room. “When you called to say that you were having a bad day, I started thinking of ways I could cheer you up. I made those vegan cupcakes with the chocolate frosting?” Dianna gives her a smile. “And there may or may not be a surprise waiting for you in the bedroom.”
Unable to crush Dianna’s smile, Lea sits down at the table and unfold her napkin as the blonde carries two plates through from the kitchen. They eat mostly in silence and Lea keeps refilling their glasses, hoping that she’ll find courage at the bottom of the wine bottle.
Dinner leads to dessert on the couch and as Dianna draws a frosting-covered finger down Lea’s chest, the brunette finally breaks down in tears she’s been holding back since she arrived.
“What’s wrong?” Dianna asks, drawing back from the brunette, instantly worried. “Lea, honey, what is it?”
“He’s moving to LA,” Lea chokes out.
It takes Dianna a few seconds to register the words but when she does, she pushes herself off the couch and watches as Lea fumbles with the buttons on her shirt.
“You should be happy,” Dianna says coolly. “We both knew this wouldn’t last.” Lea doesn’t respond. “When?”
“In a month or so.”
“Then we should stop,” Dianna intones decisively. “We should end this now.”
“Dianna…” Lea’s voice is pleading.
“I want you to go,” Dianna says firmly. “Please.”
“But…”
“Lea. Please, just go.”
Tears blind the brunette as she stumbles down the stairwell to the parking lot next to Dianna’s apartment. On the last flight of stairs, she trips and starts to tumble, landing with a thud in a broken heap.
Her body jolts as her eyes shoot open and she sits up far too quickly. Squinting, she glances over at her alarm clock, groaning when she realises that she still has another three hours of sleep to go. Beside her, an arm snakes around her waist.
“Are you okay, babe? Bad dream?”
“I’m fine,” Lea responds irritably, lying down again. He falls asleep instantly, leaving the brunette to watch the numbers tick over on her alarm clock. After twelve minutes, she gives up and slides out from under the covers.
In the lounge, she dials her best friend’s number and sinks down onto the couch, wrapping herself in a blanket. She’s fast asleep before the fourth ring.
**
Dianna has been pacing the floor of her trailer since Naya arrived.
“You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet,” she notes, glancing up from her laptop with a small smile.
“Can you go sing for me?” Dianna asks, pausing momentarily. “I’m supposed to be there in half an hour. I can’t do this.”
“Dianna Charlotte Agron, I say this with love, okay?” Naya starts. “You are a professional. You are an actress and you have a part on the biggest show on television right now. You can’t let your feelings for Lea get in the way of you singing this song. I know you can do this and you know it too.”
Dianna nods slightly.
“Thank you,” she says. “I needed that.”
“Anytime,” Naya replies airily. “Now, go kick ass. The song is going to be brilliant and you’re going to sound awesome.”
Unable to find the words, Dianna crosses the floor to the couch and wraps her arms around the other woman. Naya smiles and reaches a hand up to stroke the blonde’s hair.
“It’ll be okay,” she whispers. “And if it isn’t, come over tonight and we’ll get hammered.”
Dianna chuckles and pulls away. She collects her bag and makes her way to the recording studio. Lea’s car is already parked outside and a sinking feeling works its way into Dianna’s gut. It takes her five minutes to convince herself to get out of the car.
She greets the producers with hugs and spots Lea through the glass, headphones on, eyes closed as she nods her head along with music that Dianna can’t hear. She slides off her coat and heads through into the booth. Lea’s eyes flutter open and she scrambles to pull her headphones off, greeting Dianna with a tentative smile.
“Hi,” the brunette whispers. Dianna notes that it’s the first time she’s seen Lea nervous while standing in the recording booth.
“Hello,” Dianna replies, moving towards her microphone and adjusting the sheet music on the stand in front of her. She’s listened to the instrumental version a hundred times and played her part out on the piano while trying to sing along but the dots on the pages look completely unfamiliar. A flash of panic spreads from somewhere in the middle of her chest.
“Okay, we’re a little short on time so let’s get started,” Adam’s voice fills the booth and he smiles at both women from the other side of the glass. Dianna adjusts her headphones nervously and listens to the intro. Nerves getting the better of her, she starts to sing half a bar early. She blushes furiously and apologises.
“Is everything okay, Di?” Adam asks, concern etched on his face.
“I’m fine,” Dianna replies. “I just need a minute.”
She slides off her headphones and runs a hand over her forehead before tangling it in her hair as anxiety starts to overcome her. Lea recognises the gesture and steps towards the blonde.
“Are you okay?” Lea asks, resting a hand on Dianna’s back and rubbing it in circles. “Pretend I’m not here, if that helps. I know this can’t be easy for you.”
“That won’t help,” Dianna responds. “Let’s just try again…”
Lea drops her hand and moves back to her microphone. Dianna pulls her headphones on again and listens to the intro, hitting her cue this time. As she sings through the first verse, she’s aware that Lea is staring at her and consequently misses her cue.
She shoots the brunette a grin and rolls her eyes as Lea glances apologetically at the people on the other side of the glass.
“I’m sorry,” Lea grimaces. “Third time’s the charm, right?”
The intro plays for a third time and Dianna feels more confident now, allowing herself to relax a little as she sings.
“I was told I was beautiful, but what does that mean to you?”
The blonde shoots a sideways glance towards the shorter woman and finds her watching again, a look of pride on her face. The nervousness in Dianna’s stomach is replaced by something else and a smile crosses her lips.
“My outsides are cool, my insides are blue and every time I think I’m through, it’s because of you,” Lea sings, not bothering to look at her music or the producers. Her eyes are locked with Dianna’s throughout the entire verse. “At the end of the day, I have myself to blame.”
Adam is about to signal for them to stop when Ryan shakes his head, gesturing to let them continue. They sit back and watch the two young women run into the chorus, surprised by how perfect the harmonies sound.
Dianna is now staring determinedly at her music, concentrating on hitting every note perfectly, though it’s difficult when she can feel Lea’s eyes boring into her from a few feet away.
When the brunette takes the lead in the second verse, Dianna sneaks a glance at her, watching Lea sing from the sheet music this time.
“Just a little bit skinny,” Dianna sings absently as Lea glances in her direction again causing the blonde’s eyes to rocket back to Adam on the other side of the glass. He gives her a thumbs up as she begins to blush. As Lea builds into the high note at the end of the verse, Dianna finds her gaze pulled towards the brunette again. Lea is waiting to meet her stare, a smile spreading across both of their faces as they launch into another chorus.
“It looks like we were panicking for no reason,” Ryan muses, watching the two women on the other side of the glass with interest. Adam nods in agreement.
’’You were panicking,” Adam says with a smile, refusing to let his awe overcome him; he never expected these two, out of all the members of the cast, to sound so sublime together, like they’ve been made to sing with one another.
As they reach the bridge, it’s Lea who moves first, holding out her hand towards the blonde. She’s holding back though. The emotions running through her are indescribable and all she wants to do is wrap Dianna up in her arms and kiss her. She’s never heard the blonde sound so beautiful and as Lea sings the apex of the song, she sees tears in Dianna’s eyes and feels the blonde grasp her hand. It feels like she might never let go.
Dianna squeezes the brunette’s hand as they sing the final chorus, their voices weaving through the intricate harmonies flawlessly. She always feels nervous in the recording booth but with the way Lea is smiling at her and the way they hit note after note exactly the way they’re meant to, her nerves slide away.
’’I feel pretty, but unpretty.”
They end the final note and there’s a moment of hesitation followed by applause from the other side of the glass but neither woman hears it. Lea tosses her headphones off before closing the distance between them and they meet in a hug so fierce that Dianna swears she feels something inside her pop. A minute passes before either of them dares to speak. Dianna feels the shorter woman shift in her arms and lips graze a spot just below her ear.
“I love you.”
The tone of Lea’s words sends a shiver down Dianna’s spine and she takes a shaky breath before opening her mouth to speak.
“I love you too,” she whispers, burying her head in the crook of the brunette’s neck. She can feel Lea shaking in her arms and knows that the shorter woman is crying now, face turned away so that Adam and Ryan and the others can’t see.
“Take me home?” Lea whispers. “Please?”
“Are you sure?” Dianna murmurs, sighing when she feels Lea’s lips below her ear again.
Another minute passes before Dianna pulls back, reaching up to wipe a tear from Lea’s cheek. She smiles and half-turns to face the others, joking about how emotional they’re being. Lea smiles back, a hopeful smile that makes Dianna’s heart melt or sing or explode, she isn’t entirely sure. She slips her hand into the brunette’s and leads her out of the booth, grabbing their bags as they exit the studio, leaving Adam and Ryan staring after them in bewilderment.
“I guess we’re done here.”
**
Neither woman dares to speak, afraid to break whatever spell the song has cast over them, as they make their way to Dianna’s apartment. It’s Lea who tugs Dianna towards the elevator, making sure their bodies are never more than a couple of inches apart as they start to ascend towards the fifth floor.
Fingers intertwined, Dianna leads the brunette down the corridor and unlocks the door, pushing it wide to let Lea pass before following the shorter woman inside. Johnny bounds towards the pair, running in excited circles as they walk towards the lounge. Lea starts to laugh and bends down to hug him, smiling when he tries to give her a paw.
“I missed you too,” Dianna hears Lea whisper as she leans against the doorframe, watching the brunette wrestle the dog to the ground. After a minute or two, she clears her throat and waits for Lea to get to her feet. Johnny regards them for a few seconds before losing interest and running back to his bed.
“Hey you,” Dianna smiles and holds out her hand. Tentatively, the brunette takes hold of the outstretched hand, gasping when Dianna pulls her in close.
“Hi,” Lea squeaks before clearing her throat. “Hi,” she tries again, reaching up to brush the bangs out of Dianna’s eyes. “Just in case I haven’t made this clear, I’ve really missed you… being this close to you…” Her fingertips trail down Dianna’s cheek causing the blonde to shiver. “Feeling you shiver when I touch you…” Dianna rolls her eyes when Lea chuckles. “Kissing you…”
Their eyes lock and Lea can see the hazel eyes darken. Dianna bows her head and Lea takes the gesture as consent.
Their lips meet, cautious at first, the way Dianna remembers their first kiss so many months ago. Lea closes the sliver of space between them, tangling her hand in Dianna’s hair and the blonde sighs against Lea’s parted lips.
“Dianna,” Lea murmurs, breaking away to press kisses along the blonde’s jawline, dipping down to graze a sensitive patch of skin on her neck.
Both women are a little surprised when they find themselves standing in the middle of the bedroom floor, mouths moving lazily against one another’s until Lea begins to unbutton Dianna’s shirt.
“Is this okay?” Lea asks, pushing the shirt off Dianna’s shoulders and kissing along her collar bone. Dianna nods and tosses the shirt to the floor. Her skirt and boots follow and she finds herself being pushed towards the bed.
Lea pauses before joining the blonde, taking a few seconds to just stare, to take in the body that’s familiar but somewhat foreign to her.
“What?” Dianna asks, frowning when Lea seems to hesitate.
“You’re beautiful,” Lea whispers. “I’m sorry I never told you more often.”
Dianna blushes, watching as Lea slips out of her jeans and shirt. She feels another shiver run through her body, a pulse coursing through her as she watches the brunette climb onto the bed.
“I feel like we’re skipping some pretty important conversation time,” Lea says, descending on the taller woman’s body with kisses and feather light touches that feel like fire to the blonde.
“Later,” Dianna mutters, too distracted by the feel of Lea’s skin against her own to even contemplate holding any sort of discussion. “Just tell me…”
“I’m yours. Only yours,” Lea confirms, placing a kiss against Dianna’s lips, too soft, too tentative for the blonde. She arches up against the brunette, relishing the feel of their bodies melding together, the friction she causes.
And then the teasing touches, the butterfly kisses, stop. Lea’s lips meet hers more forcefully, urgently and deft hands move down the blonde’s body, ridding her of the last of her clothing. She watches as Dianna’s eyes slide shut, mouth parting in a silent moan as her fingertips begin to trace patterns on the outside of the blonde’s thigh.
Dianna’s hips roll upwards when Lea stalls, urging the brunette to continue. Months of longing and imagining and remembering have taken their toll and more than anything, she needs to feel Lea.
“Please.”
The whispered word is all Lea needs as reassurance that she’s doing the right thing, that she’s making the right decision. Shifting above the blonde, she slides her hand between Dianna’s thighs, fingertips seeking. Dianna spreads her legs a little wider, encouraging the brunette and moans when she feels Lea slide a finger over her clit. Exhaling heavily, the blonde pleads again and grinds upwards into Lea’s hand.
Dianna swears a lifetime passes before she feels Lea slowly push inside her. Her body curls at the sensation; a smile, a moan which gives way into a sigh of relief and another whispered plea.
Lea’s trepidation falls away at Dianna’s encouragement and she curls her fingers, groaning when Dianna thrusts her hips upwards to meet her hand. A few muttered oaths to god and laboured breaths fall from Dianna’s lips and she begs for Lea to go faster, harder. Lea complies and watches the blonde strain upwards, neck arching as she throws her head back.
Too soon, Dianna thinks as she feels muscles all over her body begin to tighten. She tries to slow down, to calm herself but the pressure of Lea’s body above her, the feeling of Lea’s fingers thrusting quick and hard between her legs, the sound of Lea’s voice and the feel of the Lea’s mouth on her neck, her shoulder… she feels everything clench and Lea is moaning in her ear, telling her to come as she presses the pad of her thumb against the blonde’s clit.
Lea watches in awe as the blonde tumbles over the edge, tears springing to her eyes as she tries to catch her own breath. She starts to move, shifting onto her side but Dianna shakes her head and holds her fast, arms surrounding the brunette.
“Just stay,” Dianna whispers, pressing a kiss to Lea’s lips. “Please.”
“Okay.”