(012) Twelfth Report [>>Audio]

[zerosuitjill]

[Look who's more or less bounced back for the most part.]

I'm taking any and all suggestions for any good coffee around here. It can be one of those ridiculously overpriced places, that's fine -- I usually go for instant, so as long as it's a good several steps above the usual grocery store quality, I'll take it.

[EDIT:]

Comments

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[godlessblossom]

[Misaki answers, her face blank as usual. She seems to be in her room, her fingers moving as she sews.]

I am alive.

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[zerosuitjill]

[She smiles good-naturedly.] That's not saying much.

[A pause.] You busy?

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[godlessblossom]

I can make time. I will be out momentarily.

[She drops her sewing and turns off the feed. When she appears before Jill she is wearing a t shirt with her skirt, her normal clothes being ripped still. She looks tired, shadows under her eyes, as she stares at her roommate.]

What is wrong?

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[zerosuitjill]

[She sets her tablet aside and turns to Misaki, studying her for a moment.]

Nothing. You've just been... quiet lately. I was wondering if there's anything wrong.

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[godlessblossom]

[For a moment she simply stares, her mind working through every response. When she speaks it is almost a whisper.]

Miya is broken. I.... It feels empty without her.

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[zerosuitjill]

[She frowns, concerned.] What happened?

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[godlessblossom]

Madoka. The thing that looked like Madoka. She broke her, drained her like you would a living human.

[She looks down, her expression that of one lost in thought.]

Madoka said she was a replacement for Miya. It was true. So she made sure I was alone.

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[zerosuitjill]

[There's a brief look of understanding -- as much as she can understand, at least.]

Where's Miya now?

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[godlessblossom]

[She looks surprised for a moment, shock that Jill is taking it so easily. She silently moves back into her room and comes back out with what is left of Miya. The doll's face has been smashed in, the clothes torn, and an arm broken off. There are parts chipped off and missing.

Misaki's fingers are wrapped around the doll tightly until her skin is turning white.]

I cannot fix her. She is empty now.

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[zerosuitjill]

[She picked up on the doll meaning something before now, even if she didn't push. Sympathy's needed more than curiosity, though, and Jill has plenty of it.

She leans forward a little to inspect the doll, but doesn't reach out to touch it; some people don't appreciate that kind of intrusion on their possessions.] She does look pretty bad...

[Jill looks up at Misaki again, still patient.] Would fixing her be enough? Or would she still be empty?

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[godlessblossom]

[She shakes her head slowly, trying to gather herself so she would stop behaving so childishly.]

She would still be empty.

[She is silent for a moment before speaking once more, sounding more like her normal self instead of the scared shell she's been for several days.]

When I was little, and staying in the hospital, the doctors told us that it helped if we had a special thing to cling to. It would help slow down our illnesses. Miya used to belong to Big Sister before she gave her to me. She was... like me.

[Jill would understand. Jill would keep a secret. She trusted her.]

I do not know why but Miya was always a person to me. I lost her when I was little and... when I found her again she was different. Big Sister's spirit was inside of her, speaking to me.

[She looks directly at Jill, her expression sad and her eyes glassy with unshed tears.]

My Big Sister's spirit is gone now. Miya is gone and she just looks like a doll now. A broken doll.

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[zerosuitjill]

[Jill listens without making any attempt to interrupt or question. It is unusual, of course, but she doesn't hesitate to believe her.]

I'm sorry, Misaki. [She reaches out, touching the younger woman's arm lightly, not wanting to intrude but offering the gesture all the same.]

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[godlessblossom]

[Distance. Everybody is always keeping their distance. Misaki squeezes her eyes shut and gently wipes at her eyes, taking away the tears.]

I am sorry. I will try to act normal again.

[Even if it is only an act.]

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[zerosuitjill]

[She shakes her head.] No -- hey, it's okay. You lost someone. That is normal.

[Her smile's a small, somber one.] The more you hold it in, the worse it gets. Trust me, I know.

You don't have to act, Misaki. It's okay.

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[godlessblossom]

You hold it in.

[It is a statement of fact and the meaning is clear: If Jill holds things in then why can't she?]

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[zerosuitjill]

[She blinks. And then drops her hand to her lap.]

...It's an old habit. And a bad one that I don't recommend. [Not for day-to-day life, at least, but she doesn't include that.]