Day 2: A Day of Evil Overlording It Up (SV Style) by mahaliem
Title: The Rescue of Superman
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: Lex Luthor agrees to rescue Superman from an Evil Princess.
Author's Notes: Thank you so very much to danceswithgary and literaryll for beta reading this story. I sincerely appreciate all of the help.
The Rescue of Superman
Lex was bored. He'd never noticed before how uneventful his life was when Superman wasn't around. For the past two weeks, none of his labs had been destroyed. There weren't any lectures about how he was evil that he could scoff at. He hadn't even had a chance to laugh his evil laugh.
He liked laughing his evil laugh.
Figuring Superman was off-world, probably destroying some alien's secret lab (and no, he didn't feel jealous, not one bit) Lex decided that he'd have to spend the time creating a special surprise, maybe something with the word 'doom' in its name, to use to welcome Superman home.
Which was why, when he looked at his e-mail that night and saw one from Artificial Intelligence, Fortress, he was taken aback. Opening it up, he saw that it was a request for a meeting. Curious as to why the A.I. was contacting him, Lex quickly sent back an agreement to the request
The next day, wearing a coat with a collar of black fur that set off his pale skin perfectly, Lex strode into the Fortress with Mercy at his side. Upon reaching what appeared to be the center where a mass of crystal rods stood, Lex glanced around.
"Hello!" Lex yelled.
"I asked that you come alone," a voice answered.
Lex turned to Mercy. "Wait in the plane."
She hesitated.
"I'm sure I'll be quite safe with AI," Lex assured her.
As she exited Lex glanced up at the ceiling of the fortress. "You don't mind if I call you AI., do you?" he purred. "I've dealt with you so often, through Superman, that I feel as if I know you."
"Your use of AI is agreeable."
Lex smiled. "Thank you." Lex glanced at the crystal rods. "Although I have always respected your knowledge, I had no idea you were quite so beautiful." Reaching a finger out, he ran it along the length of a rod. "Very beautiful. Parts of you are long and hard and so very cool to the touch."
The rod began to glow a pinkish color.
"Oh my," Lex said, with fake innocence. "Did I do something wrong?"
There was a lengthy pause before the A.I. answered. "I begin to see why Kal-El has refused to terminate your life, despite all the difficulties you cause him."
Lex moved his hand to another rod and began to stroke it. "I assume Kal-El is the reason you called me here." When the rod bloomed pink, he moved to another.
"Yes. Kal-El needs your help."
"My help?' Lex wrapped his hand around the third rod and began to stroke it firmly. This time, when it turned pink, he continued what he was doing. "Why do you think I'll help him?"
'Because..." There was a strange cracking noise, like ice breaking away. "Because we are defined as much by our enemies as by our actions. You are diminished without Kal-El as your nemesis."
Lex thought about that as he fisted the rod. It was true. He wouldn't get nearly the amount of respect among his colleagues if his nemesis was someone like Aquaman.
"Fine, I'll help Superman."
"Good. Good. Good. Good." Light flooded the Fortress and Lex had to throw an arm over his eyes to keep from being blinded.
Lex was cautiously moving his hand away from his face when Mercy ran in.
"Boss, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. AI and I are just getting to know one another better."
Giving him a nod, Mercy headed back outside.
"Well," Lex said, once more glancing up at the ceiling. "What do I have to do?"
* * *
Two days later, Lex smiled as Lana rose from her pink throne and descended the steps to greet him.
"Lex," she said warmly. "It's been so long."
"Too long." He bent to kiss her lips lightly, then pulled away to study his surroundings. Lana's palace dwarfed the Luthor Mansion. Its walls and floors were gleaming pink marble and its grounds held nothing but formal lawns and a variety of pink roses.
"I suppose I've been spending too much time in Tokyo, London, and Gotham and not nearly enough in Metropolis. I had no idea this was happening practically in my backyard. "
"Do you like it? I had it built specifically to my own design."
"It's... it's as amazing as you are, Lana."
Lana beamed. "Thank you."
"And I must say that I approve of the new look. The high heels, the flowing skirt..." he gave the plunging neckline a leer, "and I especially like the bodice."
She simpered. "I knew someone with your taste would appreciate it, Lex."
His gaze rose to her head. "The tiara's a nice touch."
"Thank you. From now on, I want everyone to call me Princess Lana."
"Princess? But wouldn't that imply that there's a king or queen around somewhere?"
Lana narrowed her eyes. "I can be called Princess Lana, if I want."
"Of course, you can," Lex conceded.
Lana didn't seem to be mollified, so Lex decided to change the subject.
"I would be interested in learning how this all happened," he said, motioning with his hands to indicate the palace and throne.
"You may not remember this, but I used to wear a necklace made from part of the meteor rock that killed my parents."
"Actually I do remember it."
"When I was young, I missed them terribly and wanted someone to love and cherish me."
"Didn't you have an aunt who took you in?"
"What?"
"An aunt. I could've sworn-"
"Oh, you mean Nell. Yes, she was there, but it wasn't enough. Every day I wished to be loved. When Whitney, a senior and the star quarterback of the football team fell in love with me, I didn't suspect that wasn't how life usually worked. Clark seemed to always be there, worshiping me, so I didn't think anything of it. Then there was Adam, Jason, almost every male mutant and a few of the female ones, all of whom decided that they loved me desperately."
Lana moved closer. She lifted a hand to caress Lex's cheek. "It wasn't until you, Lex, until a billionaire who was actively sought by women everywhere, fell in love with me that I discovered the truth. The meteor rock had granted me the power to make anyone fall in love with me."
"And you've decided to use this power to rule the world?" Lex said, capturing her hand with one of his.
Lana gave him a huge smile. "All shall love me and despair."
Lex arched his eyebrows. The geek in him loathed the fact that Lana was using quotes from one of his favorite books and movies ever.
There was no doubt about it. The bitch was going down.
* * *
They'd finished a lovely dinner, served by equally lovely male servants, when Lex broached the subject of Superman.
"I must say, Lana, that I admire your ambition. Keeping the world safe by ruling it is quite a goal. But tell me, how do you plan to deal with the Man of Steel? He's ruined my plans to take over the world more times than I can count."
"Already accomplished," Lana stated smugly.
Lex shook his head. "That's a bit hard to believe."
"Would you like proof? I'll show you." Lana stood and Lex rose from the table as well.
Lex took careful note of their path through various hallways and down several flights of stairs. Finally, they came to a spot where ten guards, armed with swords and wearing pink-flowered tabards, stood before a barred door.
"Ten guards with swords aren't going to be able to keep Superman anywhere."
"They don't have to. Superman is thoroughly incapacitated. They're only here to keep anyone from rescuing him. They can't be bribed or threatened since they're mindlessly devoted to me."
She swept past the guards and opened the door, which Lex was surprised to see, wasn't even locked. Lying on the floor, chains flecked with green wrapped around his body and secured with a single lock, was Superman.
Pain-filled eyes rose to Lex's. Superman opened his mouth, but only an agonized groan emerged.
"How did you capture him?" Lex asked.
"Simple. I called for help. He came. He never suspected I had a lead box containing Kryptonite."
Lex squatted down next to Superman and ran the edge of a nail down Superman's face, creating a reddish line. "This is torture."
"The remains of his planet killed my parents. He deserves this. Besides, now he's not nearly as pretty as I am."
Silently, Lex disagreed. Rising to a stand, Lex turned to face Lana. "Congratulations. You've done what many have tried and failed to do."
Lana preened. "Thank you."
Lex moved closer until his body pressed against hers. "I find your ambition extremely arousing."
Lana's smile grew. "I was hoping you'd feel that way. I've been looking for someone who would be able to rule the world at my side."
"I think you've found him."
Without a backward glance, Lana and Lex walked out of the room, back up the stairs, and traveled various passages until they came to Lana's private bedroom. A contingent of guards, also with swords, stood outside.
"See that no one disturbs us," Lana ordered, before leading Lex inside.
Once alone, Lex grabbed Lana and pressed her against the wall. His mouth ravished hers as he felt her small hand slip down to rest upon his crotch.
Lex was there to rescue Superman. Now that he knew where Superman was being held and was alone with Lana, it would be easy enough to overpower her and then release Superman from his ongoing torment.
Lana's hand began to caress Lex's cock.
And Lex would rescue Superman. He really would. He'd do it just as soon as he and Lana were done.
* * *
"Mmm," Lana murmured, as Lex rolled off of her. "That was really good. I think I've chosen my future consort well, don't you? I especially liked the way you shuddered when I nipped your shoulder. You liked that didn't you? But not as much as you liked it when I-"
Lex's punch knocked Lana unconscious. God, he hated it when someone ruined the afterglow with too much talking.
Improvising, Lex rolled Lana up in the pink heart-covered blankets and sheets of the bed and then stuffed her in the closet. Afterwards, as he dressed, he thought about how best to handle the guards outside the bedroom and outside Superman's cell.
Taking a deep breath, Lex flung the door open, strode out confidently and addressed the guards.
"We've just received word that several guards have rebelled. They intend to kidnap Lana. You must guard her room at all costs."
Solemnly the guards nodded and readied their weapons.
Lex headed down the stairs. When he reached the area where Superman was being held, he feigned a panicked expression.
"You have to rescue Lana! Several guards have rebelled and are holding her prisoner in her rooms." Lex pointed up the stairs. "Hurry!"
After all ten guards thundered past him, Lex smiled. Mindless devotion tended to create mindless minions. Give him someone who could think for themselves any day.
Opening the door, he hurried to Superman and began picking the simple lock. Superman glanced up at him and tried to struggle out of reach, moaning a bit in an attempt to get away, but Lex shushed him.
"I'm here to rescue you," he assured him.
Superman's eyes widened, but he ceased his movements.
The lock was quickly dealt with and the chains around Superman unwrapped and tossed aside. Slowly, the greenish tint of Superman's skin faded.
"Let's get you out of here." Lex wrapped an arm around Superman's waist to help support him.
Superman reared back from Lex in an attempt to pull away, but was too weak to do so. "Why are you here?" he asked, glaring at Lex. "Want to finish me off yourself?"
Instead of thanking Lex for saving him, Superman was once more accusing Lex of wrong-doing. While it was true that Lex would prefer to be the one that defeated Superman, it still peeved him to be accused of it.
And to think, he gave up being the consort to the world's most powerful being only to be confronted by this ungrateful attitude.
Or... maybe he didn't have to give up anything, after all.
"AI promised me your hand in marriage if I rescued you," Lex lied.
"What? And why are you calling the A.I., AI?"
"AI and I got to know each other while discussing your rescue. And isn't marriage the usual reward for such a heroic deed?"
"I'm going to kill the A.I." Superman muttered.
Good, Lex thought. Superman was buying it.
As they climbed the stairs out of the dungeon, Superman leaning heavily on Lex, the distant sounds of weapons clashing reached their ears.
"I should put a stop to that," Superman said.
"Excuse me," Lex replied. "We're trying to get away here and those are your captors. Besides, you can't even walk on your own yet."
Superman flushed, nodded, and continued moving up the stairs with Lex.
When they reached the main level, Lex turned towards him. "There's a slim chance I could talk our way out of the front door, but I'd rather not risk it. If we get to a window are you recovered enough to fly?"
Furrowing his brow in concentration, Superman rose several inches off the floor. "Give me a few more minutes and I should be."
Together, they made their way down a long hallway, then ducked into a room. Inside the room, mirrors covered almost every square inch of wall space. Lex glanced around approvingly.
"I should get a room like this."
"You villains are so egotistical," Superman stated disparagingly.
"Really? Why don't you tell me all about it Superman?"
"Oh, shut up," Superman muttered.
They made their way to one of the large glass windows. Lex propped Superman against the wall next to it, then pushed it open. He looked Superman over critically.
"You look like shit."
"I feel like it, too."
"It might be wise for you to rest a bit before carrying me high into the air. Otherwise, you might drop me."
"Yeah, like that would be a tragedy."
Lex gave him a half-smile and moved closer. "It would be. If you dropped me, I wouldn't get my reward and we couldn't celebrate our wedding and honeymoon."
He pressed his hips against Superman's. "And I'm really looking forward to the honeymoon."
"Killing's too good for the A.I. I'll have to think of something worse," Superman swore under his breath.
"You aren't acting particularly grateful for being rescued. Usually the hero gets a kiss when he saves a damsel in distress."
Lex watched as Superman's eyes were drawn to his lips before he quickly looked away.
Edging closer, Lex raised his hand to cup the back of Superman's neck. "A kiss is customary," he said huskily.
Excruciatingly slowly, Superman leaned down. For a moment, he hesitated before tentatively, softly brushing his mouth over Lex's.
The door crashed open. Lana and her guards (both contingents missing several men and all looking a little worse for wear) were in the doorway.
"You're kissing!" Lana screeched. "How can you be kissing? You're supposed to be in love with me! Me!"
Lex shrugged. "We were, but we got over it."
One guard nudged another. "That kiss was kind of hot." The second guard nodded and grinned.
Lana glared at Lex and Superman, then glared at the guards. "Kill them!" she ordered.
The guards just stood there, looking at one another. Not wanting to take a chance that at some point they'd obey, Superman scooped Lex up and flew out the window.
They'd only flown a few miles when Lex poked Superman. "You're going the wrong way."
"No, I'm not. Metropolis is in this direction."
Lex smiled. "True. But Vegas is to the west and I want to collect my reward."
Superman stared into his eyes, pulled him tighter into his body, then swallowed hard. "Okay."
* * *
Lex had insisted on having three weddings - one to Superman, one to Kal-El, and the last to Clark Kent.
"You know?" Superman had said, before waving away Lex's explanations. "Never mind. Of course, you know. I'm not sure, though, why we had to have three different weddings."
Lex had determined that the more weddings they had, the harder it would be for Superman to divorce him later. Naturally, he didn't tell Superman that.
"Three weddings means three honeymoons," he'd answered instead.
Superman grinned. "I can live with that."
* * *
"What are we going to do about Lana?" Superman asked a week later, when they paused in their conjugal activities to rest.
Lex sat up and the sheet covering him dropped to his waist. "If that's your race's idea of pillow talk, no wonder you're the last son of Krypton."
Superman stared at the expanse of pale flesh next to him for a moment before struggling to return to the subject of the conversation. "I'm serious. We can't allow her to rule the world by having everyone fall in love with her."
Lex rose from the bed and strode naked to the mini-bar to get a bottle of water. "I'm already working on a plan."
Superman's gaze was glued on Lex's body. "A plan?" he said blankly.
"You did notice how the guards became less devoted once they saw us kissing, right?"
"Hmm?"
"I think that exposure to our combined sexiness counteracted Lana's love mutation."
"Uh-huh," Superman said, still intensely eyeing Lex.
"If we send out televised footage of us together, it might immunize everyone who sees it from becoming enthralled by her."
Superman blinked in shock, Lex's words breaking through. "You want to what?"
Lex shrugged. "It's worth a try."
Rolling out of bed, Superman headed for the shower. "I don't think footage of us kissing will save the world."
Lex silently agreed. He didn't think them kissing would do it, either - which was why he'd already arranged to have film from the highlights of their extended honeymoon sent to the major networks and several internet websites.
* * *
Superman put his face in his hands and groaned. "I'm the laughingstock of the world."
"Nonsense," Lex assured him. "You're the envy of the world."
"I was at the Watchtower today. Did you know that Batman keeps repeating our conversation from that footage you sent out?"
"Really?"
"I had to listen to multiple variations on 'Oh, God, yes, Lex! Fuck me!' all day."
"Well... it's what I hear all night."
Superman scowled at Lex.
Lex leaned forward and kissed him briefly. "If it helps," he said softly in Clark's ear, "imagine how many times Batman must have watched it in order to memorize the exact wording."
"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse."
Lex wasn't sure he liked the implications too much, either. He knew Batman wasn't interested in him. Their little fling had been over with for years. But if Batman even considered hitting on Superman, he was going to be one dead flying rodent.
"You heard it all day long?" Lex asked, placing a hand on Superman's chest.
Superman nodded.
"Then you can probably recall it perfectly." Lex's hand slowly slid down to Superman's waist.
Again Superman nodded, then sharply inhaled when Lex's hand went lower to caress him.
"How would you like to relive it?" Lex purred.
In a flash, Lex had been transported to his bed and stripped naked.
He was glad that he'd ordered the cameras to always be on. Tomorrow, Lex was going send Batman a tape of tonight's events along with a personal note of thanks.
* * *
Lex was in his office when Superman visited him a few days later. Instead of grabbing him and bending him over his desk, Superman plopped down on a chair.
"Is anything wrong?" Lex asked, eyeing Superman while pouring himself a glass of scotch. He didn't like an unhappy Superman. Usually, it meant some special project of his was about to go 'boom'.
Superman shook his head.
"You're not mad at me, are you?"
"You mean because of the Ray O'Doom?" Superman waved his hand dismissively. "No. And before you ask, I'm not angry about the arms deal with the rebels in Guatemala, the robotic Godzilla you unleashed on Tokyo in order to gain control of the Asian markets, or you eating the last of the cookies my mother sent us."
"Then what's wrong?"
"I'm worried about the A.I." Superman sighed. "It's not acting like itself. I was asking why it had promised you my hand in marriage if you rescued me and the A.I. denied it. When I grew angry, it went all cagey and said that maybe it had promised you that. When I demanded the truth, it said that it was having some problems with its memory."
Lex tried not to groan. AI was obviously just as lousy of a liar as Clark had been.
Superman narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Lex, did you mess with the A.I.?"
Lex almost choked on the scotch he'd been drinking and made a mental note to start working on his Ray O'Doom again.
If Superman ever found out what Lex had really done to AI., he might need it.
The End
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,500
Summary: Lex Luthor agrees to rescue Superman from an Evil Princess.
Author's Notes: Thank you so very much to danceswithgary and literaryll for beta reading this story. I sincerely appreciate all of the help.
The Rescue of Superman
Lex was bored. He'd never noticed before how uneventful his life was when Superman wasn't around. For the past two weeks, none of his labs had been destroyed. There weren't any lectures about how he was evil that he could scoff at. He hadn't even had a chance to laugh his evil laugh.
He liked laughing his evil laugh.
Figuring Superman was off-world, probably destroying some alien's secret lab (and no, he didn't feel jealous, not one bit) Lex decided that he'd have to spend the time creating a special surprise, maybe something with the word 'doom' in its name, to use to welcome Superman home.
Which was why, when he looked at his e-mail that night and saw one from Artificial Intelligence, Fortress, he was taken aback. Opening it up, he saw that it was a request for a meeting. Curious as to why the A.I. was contacting him, Lex quickly sent back an agreement to the request
The next day, wearing a coat with a collar of black fur that set off his pale skin perfectly, Lex strode into the Fortress with Mercy at his side. Upon reaching what appeared to be the center where a mass of crystal rods stood, Lex glanced around.
"Hello!" Lex yelled.
"I asked that you come alone," a voice answered.
Lex turned to Mercy. "Wait in the plane."
She hesitated.
"I'm sure I'll be quite safe with AI," Lex assured her.
As she exited Lex glanced up at the ceiling of the fortress. "You don't mind if I call you AI., do you?" he purred. "I've dealt with you so often, through Superman, that I feel as if I know you."
"Your use of AI is agreeable."
Lex smiled. "Thank you." Lex glanced at the crystal rods. "Although I have always respected your knowledge, I had no idea you were quite so beautiful." Reaching a finger out, he ran it along the length of a rod. "Very beautiful. Parts of you are long and hard and so very cool to the touch."
The rod began to glow a pinkish color.
"Oh my," Lex said, with fake innocence. "Did I do something wrong?"
There was a lengthy pause before the A.I. answered. "I begin to see why Kal-El has refused to terminate your life, despite all the difficulties you cause him."
Lex moved his hand to another rod and began to stroke it. "I assume Kal-El is the reason you called me here." When the rod bloomed pink, he moved to another.
"Yes. Kal-El needs your help."
"My help?' Lex wrapped his hand around the third rod and began to stroke it firmly. This time, when it turned pink, he continued what he was doing. "Why do you think I'll help him?"
'Because..." There was a strange cracking noise, like ice breaking away. "Because we are defined as much by our enemies as by our actions. You are diminished without Kal-El as your nemesis."
Lex thought about that as he fisted the rod. It was true. He wouldn't get nearly the amount of respect among his colleagues if his nemesis was someone like Aquaman.
"Fine, I'll help Superman."
"Good. Good. Good. Good." Light flooded the Fortress and Lex had to throw an arm over his eyes to keep from being blinded.
Lex was cautiously moving his hand away from his face when Mercy ran in.
"Boss, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. AI and I are just getting to know one another better."
Giving him a nod, Mercy headed back outside.
"Well," Lex said, once more glancing up at the ceiling. "What do I have to do?"
* * *
Two days later, Lex smiled as Lana rose from her pink throne and descended the steps to greet him.
"Lex," she said warmly. "It's been so long."
"Too long." He bent to kiss her lips lightly, then pulled away to study his surroundings. Lana's palace dwarfed the Luthor Mansion. Its walls and floors were gleaming pink marble and its grounds held nothing but formal lawns and a variety of pink roses.
"I suppose I've been spending too much time in Tokyo, London, and Gotham and not nearly enough in Metropolis. I had no idea this was happening practically in my backyard. "
"Do you like it? I had it built specifically to my own design."
"It's... it's as amazing as you are, Lana."
Lana beamed. "Thank you."
"And I must say that I approve of the new look. The high heels, the flowing skirt..." he gave the plunging neckline a leer, "and I especially like the bodice."
She simpered. "I knew someone with your taste would appreciate it, Lex."
His gaze rose to her head. "The tiara's a nice touch."
"Thank you. From now on, I want everyone to call me Princess Lana."
"Princess? But wouldn't that imply that there's a king or queen around somewhere?"
Lana narrowed her eyes. "I can be called Princess Lana, if I want."
"Of course, you can," Lex conceded.
Lana didn't seem to be mollified, so Lex decided to change the subject.
"I would be interested in learning how this all happened," he said, motioning with his hands to indicate the palace and throne.
"You may not remember this, but I used to wear a necklace made from part of the meteor rock that killed my parents."
"Actually I do remember it."
"When I was young, I missed them terribly and wanted someone to love and cherish me."
"Didn't you have an aunt who took you in?"
"What?"
"An aunt. I could've sworn-"
"Oh, you mean Nell. Yes, she was there, but it wasn't enough. Every day I wished to be loved. When Whitney, a senior and the star quarterback of the football team fell in love with me, I didn't suspect that wasn't how life usually worked. Clark seemed to always be there, worshiping me, so I didn't think anything of it. Then there was Adam, Jason, almost every male mutant and a few of the female ones, all of whom decided that they loved me desperately."
Lana moved closer. She lifted a hand to caress Lex's cheek. "It wasn't until you, Lex, until a billionaire who was actively sought by women everywhere, fell in love with me that I discovered the truth. The meteor rock had granted me the power to make anyone fall in love with me."
"And you've decided to use this power to rule the world?" Lex said, capturing her hand with one of his.
Lana gave him a huge smile. "All shall love me and despair."
Lex arched his eyebrows. The geek in him loathed the fact that Lana was using quotes from one of his favorite books and movies ever.
There was no doubt about it. The bitch was going down.
* * *
They'd finished a lovely dinner, served by equally lovely male servants, when Lex broached the subject of Superman.
"I must say, Lana, that I admire your ambition. Keeping the world safe by ruling it is quite a goal. But tell me, how do you plan to deal with the Man of Steel? He's ruined my plans to take over the world more times than I can count."
"Already accomplished," Lana stated smugly.
Lex shook his head. "That's a bit hard to believe."
"Would you like proof? I'll show you." Lana stood and Lex rose from the table as well.
Lex took careful note of their path through various hallways and down several flights of stairs. Finally, they came to a spot where ten guards, armed with swords and wearing pink-flowered tabards, stood before a barred door.
"Ten guards with swords aren't going to be able to keep Superman anywhere."
"They don't have to. Superman is thoroughly incapacitated. They're only here to keep anyone from rescuing him. They can't be bribed or threatened since they're mindlessly devoted to me."
She swept past the guards and opened the door, which Lex was surprised to see, wasn't even locked. Lying on the floor, chains flecked with green wrapped around his body and secured with a single lock, was Superman.
Pain-filled eyes rose to Lex's. Superman opened his mouth, but only an agonized groan emerged.
"How did you capture him?" Lex asked.
"Simple. I called for help. He came. He never suspected I had a lead box containing Kryptonite."
Lex squatted down next to Superman and ran the edge of a nail down Superman's face, creating a reddish line. "This is torture."
"The remains of his planet killed my parents. He deserves this. Besides, now he's not nearly as pretty as I am."
Silently, Lex disagreed. Rising to a stand, Lex turned to face Lana. "Congratulations. You've done what many have tried and failed to do."
Lana preened. "Thank you."
Lex moved closer until his body pressed against hers. "I find your ambition extremely arousing."
Lana's smile grew. "I was hoping you'd feel that way. I've been looking for someone who would be able to rule the world at my side."
"I think you've found him."
Without a backward glance, Lana and Lex walked out of the room, back up the stairs, and traveled various passages until they came to Lana's private bedroom. A contingent of guards, also with swords, stood outside.
"See that no one disturbs us," Lana ordered, before leading Lex inside.
Once alone, Lex grabbed Lana and pressed her against the wall. His mouth ravished hers as he felt her small hand slip down to rest upon his crotch.
Lex was there to rescue Superman. Now that he knew where Superman was being held and was alone with Lana, it would be easy enough to overpower her and then release Superman from his ongoing torment.
Lana's hand began to caress Lex's cock.
And Lex would rescue Superman. He really would. He'd do it just as soon as he and Lana were done.
* * *
"Mmm," Lana murmured, as Lex rolled off of her. "That was really good. I think I've chosen my future consort well, don't you? I especially liked the way you shuddered when I nipped your shoulder. You liked that didn't you? But not as much as you liked it when I-"
Lex's punch knocked Lana unconscious. God, he hated it when someone ruined the afterglow with too much talking.
Improvising, Lex rolled Lana up in the pink heart-covered blankets and sheets of the bed and then stuffed her in the closet. Afterwards, as he dressed, he thought about how best to handle the guards outside the bedroom and outside Superman's cell.
Taking a deep breath, Lex flung the door open, strode out confidently and addressed the guards.
"We've just received word that several guards have rebelled. They intend to kidnap Lana. You must guard her room at all costs."
Solemnly the guards nodded and readied their weapons.
Lex headed down the stairs. When he reached the area where Superman was being held, he feigned a panicked expression.
"You have to rescue Lana! Several guards have rebelled and are holding her prisoner in her rooms." Lex pointed up the stairs. "Hurry!"
After all ten guards thundered past him, Lex smiled. Mindless devotion tended to create mindless minions. Give him someone who could think for themselves any day.
Opening the door, he hurried to Superman and began picking the simple lock. Superman glanced up at him and tried to struggle out of reach, moaning a bit in an attempt to get away, but Lex shushed him.
"I'm here to rescue you," he assured him.
Superman's eyes widened, but he ceased his movements.
The lock was quickly dealt with and the chains around Superman unwrapped and tossed aside. Slowly, the greenish tint of Superman's skin faded.
"Let's get you out of here." Lex wrapped an arm around Superman's waist to help support him.
Superman reared back from Lex in an attempt to pull away, but was too weak to do so. "Why are you here?" he asked, glaring at Lex. "Want to finish me off yourself?"
Instead of thanking Lex for saving him, Superman was once more accusing Lex of wrong-doing. While it was true that Lex would prefer to be the one that defeated Superman, it still peeved him to be accused of it.
And to think, he gave up being the consort to the world's most powerful being only to be confronted by this ungrateful attitude.
Or... maybe he didn't have to give up anything, after all.
"AI promised me your hand in marriage if I rescued you," Lex lied.
"What? And why are you calling the A.I., AI?"
"AI and I got to know each other while discussing your rescue. And isn't marriage the usual reward for such a heroic deed?"
"I'm going to kill the A.I." Superman muttered.
Good, Lex thought. Superman was buying it.
As they climbed the stairs out of the dungeon, Superman leaning heavily on Lex, the distant sounds of weapons clashing reached their ears.
"I should put a stop to that," Superman said.
"Excuse me," Lex replied. "We're trying to get away here and those are your captors. Besides, you can't even walk on your own yet."
Superman flushed, nodded, and continued moving up the stairs with Lex.
When they reached the main level, Lex turned towards him. "There's a slim chance I could talk our way out of the front door, but I'd rather not risk it. If we get to a window are you recovered enough to fly?"
Furrowing his brow in concentration, Superman rose several inches off the floor. "Give me a few more minutes and I should be."
Together, they made their way down a long hallway, then ducked into a room. Inside the room, mirrors covered almost every square inch of wall space. Lex glanced around approvingly.
"I should get a room like this."
"You villains are so egotistical," Superman stated disparagingly.
"Really? Why don't you tell me all about it Superman?"
"Oh, shut up," Superman muttered.
They made their way to one of the large glass windows. Lex propped Superman against the wall next to it, then pushed it open. He looked Superman over critically.
"You look like shit."
"I feel like it, too."
"It might be wise for you to rest a bit before carrying me high into the air. Otherwise, you might drop me."
"Yeah, like that would be a tragedy."
Lex gave him a half-smile and moved closer. "It would be. If you dropped me, I wouldn't get my reward and we couldn't celebrate our wedding and honeymoon."
He pressed his hips against Superman's. "And I'm really looking forward to the honeymoon."
"Killing's too good for the A.I. I'll have to think of something worse," Superman swore under his breath.
"You aren't acting particularly grateful for being rescued. Usually the hero gets a kiss when he saves a damsel in distress."
Lex watched as Superman's eyes were drawn to his lips before he quickly looked away.
Edging closer, Lex raised his hand to cup the back of Superman's neck. "A kiss is customary," he said huskily.
Excruciatingly slowly, Superman leaned down. For a moment, he hesitated before tentatively, softly brushing his mouth over Lex's.
The door crashed open. Lana and her guards (both contingents missing several men and all looking a little worse for wear) were in the doorway.
"You're kissing!" Lana screeched. "How can you be kissing? You're supposed to be in love with me! Me!"
Lex shrugged. "We were, but we got over it."
One guard nudged another. "That kiss was kind of hot." The second guard nodded and grinned.
Lana glared at Lex and Superman, then glared at the guards. "Kill them!" she ordered.
The guards just stood there, looking at one another. Not wanting to take a chance that at some point they'd obey, Superman scooped Lex up and flew out the window.
They'd only flown a few miles when Lex poked Superman. "You're going the wrong way."
"No, I'm not. Metropolis is in this direction."
Lex smiled. "True. But Vegas is to the west and I want to collect my reward."
Superman stared into his eyes, pulled him tighter into his body, then swallowed hard. "Okay."
* * *
Lex had insisted on having three weddings - one to Superman, one to Kal-El, and the last to Clark Kent.
"You know?" Superman had said, before waving away Lex's explanations. "Never mind. Of course, you know. I'm not sure, though, why we had to have three different weddings."
Lex had determined that the more weddings they had, the harder it would be for Superman to divorce him later. Naturally, he didn't tell Superman that.
"Three weddings means three honeymoons," he'd answered instead.
Superman grinned. "I can live with that."
* * *
"What are we going to do about Lana?" Superman asked a week later, when they paused in their conjugal activities to rest.
Lex sat up and the sheet covering him dropped to his waist. "If that's your race's idea of pillow talk, no wonder you're the last son of Krypton."
Superman stared at the expanse of pale flesh next to him for a moment before struggling to return to the subject of the conversation. "I'm serious. We can't allow her to rule the world by having everyone fall in love with her."
Lex rose from the bed and strode naked to the mini-bar to get a bottle of water. "I'm already working on a plan."
Superman's gaze was glued on Lex's body. "A plan?" he said blankly.
"You did notice how the guards became less devoted once they saw us kissing, right?"
"Hmm?"
"I think that exposure to our combined sexiness counteracted Lana's love mutation."
"Uh-huh," Superman said, still intensely eyeing Lex.
"If we send out televised footage of us together, it might immunize everyone who sees it from becoming enthralled by her."
Superman blinked in shock, Lex's words breaking through. "You want to what?"
Lex shrugged. "It's worth a try."
Rolling out of bed, Superman headed for the shower. "I don't think footage of us kissing will save the world."
Lex silently agreed. He didn't think them kissing would do it, either - which was why he'd already arranged to have film from the highlights of their extended honeymoon sent to the major networks and several internet websites.
* * *
Superman put his face in his hands and groaned. "I'm the laughingstock of the world."
"Nonsense," Lex assured him. "You're the envy of the world."
"I was at the Watchtower today. Did you know that Batman keeps repeating our conversation from that footage you sent out?"
"Really?"
"I had to listen to multiple variations on 'Oh, God, yes, Lex! Fuck me!' all day."
"Well... it's what I hear all night."
Superman scowled at Lex.
Lex leaned forward and kissed him briefly. "If it helps," he said softly in Clark's ear, "imagine how many times Batman must have watched it in order to memorize the exact wording."
"I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse."
Lex wasn't sure he liked the implications too much, either. He knew Batman wasn't interested in him. Their little fling had been over with for years. But if Batman even considered hitting on Superman, he was going to be one dead flying rodent.
"You heard it all day long?" Lex asked, placing a hand on Superman's chest.
Superman nodded.
"Then you can probably recall it perfectly." Lex's hand slowly slid down to Superman's waist.
Again Superman nodded, then sharply inhaled when Lex's hand went lower to caress him.
"How would you like to relive it?" Lex purred.
In a flash, Lex had been transported to his bed and stripped naked.
He was glad that he'd ordered the cameras to always be on. Tomorrow, Lex was going send Batman a tape of tonight's events along with a personal note of thanks.
* * *
Lex was in his office when Superman visited him a few days later. Instead of grabbing him and bending him over his desk, Superman plopped down on a chair.
"Is anything wrong?" Lex asked, eyeing Superman while pouring himself a glass of scotch. He didn't like an unhappy Superman. Usually, it meant some special project of his was about to go 'boom'.
Superman shook his head.
"You're not mad at me, are you?"
"You mean because of the Ray O'Doom?" Superman waved his hand dismissively. "No. And before you ask, I'm not angry about the arms deal with the rebels in Guatemala, the robotic Godzilla you unleashed on Tokyo in order to gain control of the Asian markets, or you eating the last of the cookies my mother sent us."
"Then what's wrong?"
"I'm worried about the A.I." Superman sighed. "It's not acting like itself. I was asking why it had promised you my hand in marriage if you rescued me and the A.I. denied it. When I grew angry, it went all cagey and said that maybe it had promised you that. When I demanded the truth, it said that it was having some problems with its memory."
Lex tried not to groan. AI was obviously just as lousy of a liar as Clark had been.
Superman narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Lex, did you mess with the A.I.?"
Lex almost choked on the scotch he'd been drinking and made a mental note to start working on his Ray O'Doom again.
If Superman ever found out what Lex had really done to AI., he might need it.
The End