Miles and Miles (2/2)
Part One
“Naomi.”
“Yes, Professor.”
Sutton pauses and looks at with an amused expression.
“What is it?” Naomi rubs her cheek out of habit, looking around to see if the students filing out are laughing at her, pointing or gesturing for some reason.
“Nothing,” he responds warmly, “That’s just the first time you’ve called me professor.”
Her hand drops. “Oh.”
“Or,” he smirks, “Anything of superior status, you know.”
She laughs.
“She has a smile!” he declares, sitting himself back down at his desk. “Listen, I’ve been hearing some news from everyone lately. People talk and all. I was wondering if you could possibly submit something, letter of intent, maximum ten pages, of who you are, what you want, what you think teamwork is. What you think leadership is, what bravery is, what trust is, to you. To Naomi Campbell. Do you think you could do that? By the end of next week. Friday night?”
She’s nodding her head furiously already and they shake hands. “Professor?” she calls from the back of the class just as he’s about to leave.
“Yes, Ms Campbell?”
“Could it be an online copy? No need to butcher trees and all.”
-
“You’re on your way, Naoms,” Freddie says, patting her on the back congratulating her with a spliff in the other. She takes it and they sit down at the top of the steps, inhaling and exhaling at the same time. It’s winter already and exams are fast approaching, the steps have begun getting deserted, as people retreat back home or into the libraries to study. “Shouldn’t you be working on this paper, then?” He nudges her shoulder, “Workaholic and all.”
She laughs, pushing him away. “Writer’s block.”
“Ahh,” he responds, knowing it all too well. Naomi’s surprised he writes, tries, at all.
A moment goes by and they huddle closer for warmth.
“Cook fancies Effy.”
Freddie nods.
“That doesn’t change anything?”
He shrugs, almost carelessly. “She loves me.”
“That simple, is it?”
He shrugs again. “It is if she does.”
-
When she finally sees Emily, it’s at the end of World Leaders on Thursday, and the class just so happens to have sat in a way that Emily had to sit significantly closer to the front than usual. Naomi turns around and finds Emily just can’t rush out the way she usually does. She calls her name, and the entire fucking class hears it so it’s not like she can run out. “Wait,” she says.
“Okay,” Emily replies.
She waits until everyone’s cleared out of the classroom and Emily decides to sit up on a desk, placing her bag on the chair. Naomi takes a breath and pulls out some textbooks from her bag. She hands them over to Emily, one by one, letting her read the titles. “They’re the ones for Ethics of Violence,” she says, well aware of her shaking hands, “I don’t need them this weekend, I thought they’d help you out instead.”
Emily takes the books in her hands, slowly caressing the covers. She raises her head to meet Naomi’s eyesight. They stand and sit, and Naomi’s feeling awkward already, avoiding eye contact at all costs.
“Thank you,” Emily says.
“You’re welcome,” Naomi replies, shifting her eyesight to her feet.
Emily readjusts her seating position on the desk. “Would you...” She pauses to lick her lips and Naomi holds her breath. “Would you like to come help me photocopy them?”
When they enter the building, Naomi opens the door for her and Emily’s got the cutest fucking smile on the planet that Naomi nearly loses grip on the handle.
“I heard about Sutton re-offering the position?” she asks when they walk up the steps to the second floor.
Naomi laughs and winces. “Let’s talk about you.”
Emily giggles, and Naomi makes it a plan to make her make that sound as many times as possible (because holy fuck?). “What about me?”
“I heard you’ve got a twin sister.”
Emily nods as they round the corner, nearly losing grip on one of the textbooks. Naomi offers to carry one. “You’re offering to help me carry my books?” she asks with a smirk, and Naomi can’t help but smile.
“Yeah,” she says dumbly, and Emily’s smile grows a bit wider.
“Okay,” she says simply, handing her two, and they continue down the hallway. “Yeah, I’ve got a twin sister Katie, she goes to York. Didn’t think she’d make it but she bust her arse that final year in college.” They reach the photocopying machine and Naomi places the books on the windowsill. Rests on the wall.
“And where was that? College?”
“In Bristol,” Emily says, taking Henslowe’s book and flipping to page fifty. She places it down on the copier, inserts her card and presses print. “And you?”
“Leeds.”
Emily nods.
“Did you leave friends and family in Bristol?”
“Didn’t everybody leave someone special somewhere?” Emily asks quietly, and it strikes Naomi with the scary possibility she’d never considered that Emily may be gay but in a relationship. Maybe long-distance, maybe even someone here in Lancaster. And the possibility of it all starts to become far too probable for her liking: Young, attractive, intelligent. Just because she hadn’t seen her with someone else didn’t mean she wasn’t actually in a relationship. And just like that the jealousy over a possible non-existent bond is created, and Naomi clenches up before she can stop it.
“You’re a Political Science major?” Emily’s asking, trying to change the subject, and Naomi can only nod briefly.
“You’re...”
“English,” Emily says, flipping the book over, “Minor in International Studies.”
“Are you in a relationship?” Naomi asks, and regrets the bluntness of it immediately, especially considering the way Emily’s eyes shoot up at her. The silence hangs over them and the photocopy machine goes to sleep, a soft powering down sound that causes Emily to turn back and reboot it.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” she asks lightly as she copies another page, keeping her eyes down on the number pad. “We met in our first year here. A house party. We were alone, downstairs, just wanting some peace and quiet.”
Naomi’s mind zips back three years, awkwardly hopping over large parties that stand out, the clubbing and house parties she’d never actually manage to make it into the house at all. But nothing comes to mind, and her entire first year’s worth of partying is already a haze due to the time. She shakes her head. “No. But...I would have remembered you,” she says, and realizes it’s actually a compliment when Emily smiles, albeit a sympathetic one.
“I remembered you,” Emily says, finishing Henslowe and taking the second book from Naomi’s pile.
She feels like a right prick, having forgotten and all. It wasn’t like her forget parties, and she could barely believe she had once seen these eyes, this hair, this brilliant bright red hair, been in the same room as it, and forgotten it completely. “What happened?” she asks.
Emily smirks. “Don’t worry, you were a complete gentleman.”
Naomi scoffs, feeling something bubble up inside, and it only continues to grow as she watches Emily smile, clearly remembering the night. I did that, she thinks, as she watches Emily bite her lip to stop the smile from growing too wide, I made her that happy.
When Emily’s done, she hands the books back to Naomi and thanks her.
“Can I see you again?” Naomi asks and Emily walks off. Naomi realizes she’d only thought the question, and never managed to actually ask her. She chases after Emily but can’t manage to find her.
-
“Do you remember Emily?” she asks Cook whilst smoking up one night in his bedroom.
“Emily who?” he asks, reaching for a glass of water and spilling it on his bare chest.
“Emily Fitch, the redhead. She says we met in our first year. At a party.”
“Lot of parties in the first year.”
“That’s true.”
“Only one I remember is the one we met Effy at.”
Naomi hums, and traces a line on his ribcage. “How is that?”
He sniffs. “She’s with Freddie.”
That’s what she’s always loved about Cook: Loyal.
-
It’s Friday night and nearing midnight. She’s damn near ready to fall asleep on her laptop when the library doors open and close abruptly. It jolts her back awake, and she continues to type. Five hundred words on leadership and bravery and she’s just about ready to go.
“Still here?”
And the world gets wonderful.
“Letter of intent for Sutton due in,” she glances down at the digital clock, “twenty minutes.”
“Wouldn’t take you for a procrastinator,” she settles down on the couch opposite hers.
She laughs, not taking her eyes off the laptop, rounding off run-on sentences, filling awkward and abrupt endings of sentences. “You here for work?”
“No,” Emily shakes her head, looking around the empty library, “Just like the calm.”
“Yeah,” Naomi laughs.
They sit in said calm for the next few minutes, allowing Naomi’s tapping of the keys fill the air, and Naomi’s trying desperately to stay on topic or just keep her eyes on screen when really, there’s a nagging feeling on the tips of her fingers, on the sides of her shoulders that just makes her want to snap the lid down and sit besides the redhead.
“What is it on?” Emily asks, curiously.
“Bravery,” Naomi replies, “Leadership. Equality.” She continues to type, finishing up the last paragraph and managing to read it over quickly before seeing the time and sending it in with three minutes to spare. And just like that, the wait begins, and she’s itching already.
“You’re adorable when you type,” Emily says as Naomi closes the lid and places the laptop on the table. There is something beautiful about the way she just says what’s on her mind. Something undeniably gorgeous about the way she goes about just saying it. Shit, that's exactly what I should have written, Naomi thinks, aggravated at having just sent the paper in with no room for modification. Bravery. She, Emily, is brave. Aware of circumstances and risks and plunging in anyway.
“You’re lovely, you know,” Naomi says, because it’s late, and she’s probably thought it for a while anyway. Emily smiles a small one, and it’s all Naomi wanted. That’s it? she thinks, It's that simple? That’s all you need to do: Tell the truth about how lovely she is, and get that smile. “I want to see you again,” she states quietly, almost shamefully, and is completely embarrassed at the low tone of it.
Emily raises an eyebrow, her smile growing. Naomi glances back down, uncertain at how this girl can make her so small. “You’re a charmer, Naomi Campbell,” she says, and before Naomi can respond, she’s already up and walking off, the way she always does, with that confidence and poise, striding off to do good somewhere else, and Naomi’s sinking further and further into the couch, her laptop gradually growing cold.
It occurs to her later, much later when she’s certain Emily’s out the building, that maybe she should have run after her.
-
She doesn’t see her the entire winter break, and thinks it’s probably because she’s gone home. Christmas is long and drawn out with Freddie, Effy and Cook. They’re all fun, yes, but it occurs to her one time while they’re building snowmen and Freddie and Cook get into a snowball fight and the girls go in for some hot chocolate that maybe, just maybe, they’re missing someone. And she thinks about Emily, and she thinks about having hot chocolate with her, sitting down and talking. Really actually talking. Without tension, without having her hate her so strongly. It’s annoying, that Emily thinks she’s a prick, that Emily always so fucking hurt or wary or feels the need to walk away from her.
It strikes her that she wants to spend time with Emily. Real, proper time.
A yell of success from outside causes her and Effy to turn around and laugh as Cook’s tackling Freddie to the ground. Cook always wins.
Effy’s drinking and smiling at them, waving back when Cook waves and shouts he’s a winner before being pushed to the ground from behind. She laughs again. It’s a beautiful one, one she can’t fight and it’s so naked, and there, and Naomi wishes she could be so open. Thinks about Emily again.
“What are you thinking about?” Effy asks when she turns back to Naomi.
“You,” Naomi lies, and turns to the boys, “And Cook.”
Effy sighs and drinks again.
“I think you two would be better than you think you’d be. He’s a good guy.”
“I’m with Freddie,” she says, rearranging her bra strap calmly.
“You break up,” Naomi says, her eyes wandering. She thinks back to that time when she’d asked Emily if she was in a relationship. Maybe Emily was. Maybe that’s who she was with right now. Maybe that’s why she hadn’t answer when Naomi asked if they could spend more time together.
“It’s not that simple,” Effy says, playing with the melting marshmallow in her mug, licking her finger when it melts onto the tip of it.
Naomi decides to drop it, because the boys come in, talking about football with ice and hot chocolate with dozens of marshmallows and Freddie leans down to kiss Effy and Cook looks away with an amused expression.
“How do you deal with it?” she asks him after they’ve left and he helps her wash her dishes.
He shrugs, and she swears she can see something breaking behind his eyes.
-
When they get back after holidays, Cook’s back to claiming the space on the stairs and Naomi’s managed to find a new place, more or less separated from the rest of campus, a seating area that the poli sci students practice their debates and speeches in. She walks in one afternoon still looking for the new building Co-Dependence between Nations is in, and is about to leave when one of the girls, Lily, recognizes her from World Leaders.
“Sit with us,” she says, the friendliest smile on her face, and Naomi does, after a moment’s hesitation.
They’re all terribly friendly, some funny, others wankers, but all determined and studious and it’s all so very new and she’s ashamed to think This is what it’s like to have friends who are equally intelligent.
She takes that thought back immediately when she meets up with Effy later in the night and they go for drinks. There are friends for all different kinds of outings, she concludes. Some in school, some out. And some, she thinks as she mistakes a red car of all things for red hair, are for everything.
-
She has no classes with Emily this semester, and she knows it because she’s checked in every class, scanning the room both at the beginning and end for the red hair, letting her shoulders lower when there is nothing. So when she does finally smash into her, it’s of course in the library, and Naomi can barely contain her glee.
“Hello,” she says, forgetting completely to apologize, only helping her with her books that fall to the ground from their impact, “How were your vacations?”
“Fine,” Emily says with a smile, thanking her for the books, “Went home.” And maybe it’s the curt reply, or the way her eyes are dancing about the room, or that moment’s hesitation before she broke into a smile, but Naomi senses the shift in tone.
“Are you alright?” she asks, raising a hand to place on her shoulder before she can stop it. Emily’s breathing is unsteady, and loud, and Naomi starts to feel the awkwardness creep into their stance already. She lowers her hand, embarrassed at the action, letting it linger at her sides, and she fights the urge to take Emily’s hand into hers. There is something so saddening, something gutting her from the inside out, of Emily being uncomfortable.
“You’ve changed you know,” Emily says quietly, bringing her hand up to shift some hair out of her eyes.
“Thank you?” Naomi laughs, still gazing at her hands, balling them into fists in order to stop their itching.
Emily bites her lip and they continue to stand in silence, the low chatter from the other students in the library still around them. “Do you still study here, at night?”
Naomi nods. “Haven’t seen you around lately.”
“You look for me?”
And Naomi has to close her eyes, because the burn on her cheeks is just too fucking painful now, and rising to her ears and seeping low into her stomach. She hears Emily giggle, and she registers the euphoria that brushes into her lungs from that, but still can’t bring herself to glace up.
Slowly, Emily takes a step closer, and interlaces her hand with Naomi’s, and the world is greying and falling against a rainbow all at once. “Look at me,” she says in that low, low voice, and Naomi does. Opens her eyes and raises her head just enough to take in Emily Fitch at an inch’s distance away; the eyes, the nose, the lips. She smiles, and a thousand and one Shakespearean lines run in and out of Naomi’s mind at once.
“You really are very quite lovely,” Naomi says, and Emily’s smile gets tinier, reaches her eyes, and a dimple appears on her right cheek.
“You don’t even know me,” she responds softly, glancing down at their hands.
“Yes I do,” Naomi murmurs, just as the sun rises outside and bursts in through the window, and they’re blinded, just for a moment.
-
She gets her number, saves it as Emily Fitch in her phone, and for the next four days she’s stepping on clouds and dancing in the rain.
“Emily,” Cook says, passing his spliff to Effy on the steps, “That the one with the hot sister?”
“Apparently not as hot as her,” Effy smirks.
“As long as she’s caught our Naomi’s eye, it’s all fine by me!” Cook exclaims, putting his arm around Effy and pointing to Naomi. “Look at her,” he lowers his voice, “All grown up. Aren’t you proud, sweetheart?”
“So proud,” Effy smirks, and Naomi laughs at them, stops when she notices Cook take his arm off Effy and they sit apart.
-
She invites Emily over to another one of Cook’s parties. Texts her the time and place, and can’t help but think about what to wear that night, being painfully self-aware.
They have a drink each before splitting and going for a walk around the neighbourhood around two in the morning, talking about the moonlight, and campus food, and Gil Courtemanche, and the horrible earthquake in Haiti, and everything is easy, and slow paced for once. Sometime in the night, Emily leans over and laces her fingers with her and Naomi feels like a child and a grown up, all at once.
“Have you heard from Sutton?” Emily asks as they pass by the house a third time and continue walking.
“No word yet,” Naomi replies sadly, as sadly as she can when really, Emily squeezes her hand in encouragement and all she wants to do is titter like a fucking schoolgirl. She stops their steps when they’re around the corner and no one can see them. They stand under a streetlight and she takes Emily’s other hand in hers. “You never answered my question about whether you were with someone or not,” she says.
Emily smiles slowly, and Naomi swallows nervously, bitter that Emily can spot it. Emily licks her lips slowly and takes another step closer to Naomi, pinning her against the lamppost. “I think you want to kiss me,” she says with a coy smile, and Naomi can already hear herself begging in her head.
“I think you think you know everything,” she says instead. It isn’t fair that Emily can have this... this control over her. It isn’t fair that Emily can be so adorable and confident and lovely all at once.
“Isn’t that my line?” Emily asks with another assured smile, and Naomi can only swallow again. And she opens her mouth to say something else, possibly less witty, when Emily’s eyes flicker to her lips and she’s a total goner. And Emily takes her cheek in one of her hands and kisses her, so softly, like a first kiss should be, and she sighs into it like an exhaling baby on a warm night, and Naomi can only smile at that, against her lips. Emily backs her lips away slowly, licks her lips, possibly the most adorable thing Naomi’s ever seen through barely open eyelids, and kisses her again. Slowly, Naomi brings her hands up to Emily’s neck and holds her close. It is everything she had wanted it to be. Let it be known that Emily Fitch tastes like vodka and orange juice.
Emily ends the kiss first, leaning out abruptly as if coming to her senses, and Naomi’s the one dazed instead. “You’re sweet,” Emily murmurs against her lips, and Naomi’s getting dizzy. “If you’d just let yourself be it more often.”
They continue walking around the neighbourhood, eventually finding themselves again back at Cook’s, albeit the party is calmer and the lawn is free. They lie down beside one another, legs and heads and waists touching, and Emily’s hand is cold, so Naomi takes it and puts it in her jacket pocket. They stare at the stars for a moment and Naomi points some out to her. “Didn’t know you were into astronomy,” Emily giggles, and Naomi moves her head closer so she can feel the vibrations against her sternum.
“I’m into a lot of things,” she says.
“Is that so?” Emily asks, taking her warm hand out of Naomi’s pocket and lacing it with hers. She lifts her head to kiss Naomi's nose, so slowly. “I’m cold,” she shivers.
Naomi opens her jacket completely and Emily moves closer, snuggling into her, resting her arms against her chest and fingers around her neck. Naomi kisses a soft patch of skin on her forehead before they fall asleep. Sometime in the night their legs tangle together, and Naomi has no choice but to wake her up when she wants to get up and go inside for breakfast.
Emily meets Effy, Freddie’s fast asleep, and incites an awkward silence when she asks if Cook and Effy are together. The rest of the morning goes smoothly, as they avoid talk of relationships completely and simply sit together. And Naomi turns to them, watches Emily laugh at the table when Cook cracks an actually charming joke. She watches the way Effy smiles at Emily and looks back at Naomi with an unreadable expression, watches the way Emily and Cook laugh simultaneously like they’re really on the same timeline. She watches as Emily offers to help Effy wash some dishes and Cook tells them to throw it in the dishwasher, and Effy whispers something in Emily’s ear, and she giggles. She watches everything like it’s unfolding, and thinks yeah. I could do this.
Emily catches her eye at one point and smiles.
Yeah. I could do this with her.
-
Effy actually ends up breaking it off with Freddie, very casually, near the beginning of February, and tension is high between the four of them. Cook and Freddie still get on, albeit they try not to be alone with only Effy, causing Naomi great grief and regret whenever she feels she needs to leave the room or party. Cook’s staring has only grown bolder and Effy’s not one to break contact, so sometimes entire conversations go on hold as they look at one another from across the room, and Naomi breaks the silence with a loud and rude statement about the weather. Nothing will happen between them, Naomi concludes.
“Why not?” she asks Effy when they’re alone in her living room one morning, battling hangovers, just sitting and eating toast.
“He scares me,” Effy admits quietly, and later when Naomi would pester her about it, she would deny she said it at all.
-
Valentine’s Day comes and goes for those three, and surprisingly enough no one makes a move on anyone else. Cook and Effy and Freddie all attend a party, everyone hooking up with someone else. The jealousy between them all is sky high, but no one really does anything about it. They hop around one another like bunnies, hesitating on their toes.
It’s another night spent inside with Naomi and Emily, cuddling on her couch, reading and falling asleep together. At some point during the night Naomi thinks they might have said ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ to one another, but can’t be too sure.
-
“I’m sorry I thought your friends were together,” Emily says that Friday when they’re studying in the library, this time on the same couch, albeit at opposite ends.
“What?” Naomi asks, finishing the sentence on her page and glancing up.
“Your friends Effy and James. Cook. Effy and Cook. I’m sorry I thought they were together. They just seem, in fact they always seem-”
“Yeah,” Naomi says, bringing her eyesight back to her book. “They’re not.”
Emily swallows and brings her book back up. “Why not?”
Naomi shrugs. “I think she’s scared.”
“Scared?”
“I think it’s too real for her.”
-
School has gotten easier since this whole thing with Emily. Everything is less stressful, and everything starts to mean something. It’s a dosage of reality and present and future all in one. Whilst the tests and exams are no more important than they were a year ago, everything just seems to mean something more when Emily’s looking at her with those bright eyes and kisses her cheek in congratulations. And it’s all just right, suddenly, when she’s quieter, when she shuts the hell up and lets people talk; because everyone has great ideas too, and she’s not just up on this fucking pedestal with the most revolutionary notions of freedom. Everything is just better. And right.
And that’s fucking stupid, she thinks, to have this one girl come and fuck her world upside down.
but fuck it.
It's not like she was having a grand old time before Emily Fitch.
-
Her twin sister Katie comes to visit during their Spring Break and it’s all so fucking ridiculous, how different they are. They head out for lunch and walk her around the campus, and everything’s fun and innocent and relatively well-mannered until the night comes along and Naomi hesitates on kissing Emily goodnight.
“So,” Katie says when she gets Naomi alone in their living room and Emily’s asleep upstairs.
“So,” Naomi says uncertainly.
Katie’s looking around the living room impatiently, tapping her teeth together awkwardly. “So you’re like, in love with my sister, then?”
Naomi’s mouth goes a bit dry, and the many outcomes of saying either yes or no go through her mind at the speed of light. “I dunno,” she decides.
“You don’t know?” Katie asks, and the disgust is clear on her face.
“N-no,” Naomi stutters, and the room is starting to get a bit hot, and she shifts her position on the sofa. “I mean I-”
“You don’t believe in love,” Katie sneers.
“I’m trying to love her.” Katie’s face stays stone cold, and Naomi licks her lips, uncertain as to what to say next. The clock strikes midnight. “I mean I don’t know how to, but I’m just...you know. Learning.”
“So my sister’s a test run?” Katie asks, and it strikes Naomi that she’s putting constant emphasis on the word sister, as though Katie’s just stapling herself here, stapling the label, to never let Naomi forget her place.
“No,” Naomi says gently, taking her eyes off Katie, to look out the window at the rain falling against it just as gently as the way Emily sighs when she’s tired and sleepy. “No,” she says again, “Emily’s it. She’s just it, for me.” She turns back to Katie.
There’s another pause as they sit in silence. “Alright,” Katie says finally, and Naomi lets a soft breath that she wasn’t aware she was holding in, out. Katie gets up from the couch, so casually, as though she hadn’t just burnt the fucking wind out of Naomi, just boneless on the couch, and waltzes over to the CD player. She’s fiddling through some CDs before she turns around. “Please tell me you listen to Robbie Williams.”
And Naomi couldn’t lie if she wanted to. She shakes her head.
Katie’s face just drops, caught between exasperation and disappointment. “Fucking lezzas,” she grunts, before heading upstairs for bed.
In the morning, Naomi attempts to make waffles that end up tasting like shit because she burns the chocolate, but Katie’s a top notch house guest and compliments them anyway. When she leaves that afternoon, she gives Emily this huge hug, it’s emotional and both are nearing tears, and Naomi has to look away. The moment is private and touching, and strangely enough, she feels intrusive just by being there.
“See you soon I suppose,” Katie says when she awkwardly hugs Naomi.
“Yeah,” Naomi replies.
She gets a text message two days later from Emily.
Katie likes you. In that weird way she likes people. xoxo
Later when she's given Katie's phone number, she'd save it under Katie Fucking Fitch, because it has a nice ring to it, and Emily glances over and laughs a loud one, saying it's so fucking suiting.
-
She remembers.
Quite randomly, one night when she’s trying to get to bed and her mind wanders to Emily. (It tends to nowadays, and she’s grown tired of fighting it off.) And just like that she remembers. She thinks maybe it slipped her mind when she tried so hard the first time because she focused so much on thinking about the first year school-wise, but the first time she’d met Emily was the New Year party at Jenkins’ flat, and Cook wasn’t attending. She remembers, and hates that she’d forgotten at all. She texts Emily.
I remember.
In the morning she gets a text in response when she’s brushing her teeth.
Good morning to you too. Remember what?
She smiles and spits, bites her toothbrush down in place as she texts.
I remember you.
She loses track of the teacher’s lecture when Emily texts her back in class.
You’re silly. But I’ll keep you anyway <3
-
“You’re a fucking softie,” Effy says one morning when they’re all lounging on the steps sans Emily. She’s just grown into their group, occasionally coming by to sit on the steps with them, throwing their perfectly balanced group of four out of sync, and yet they all seemed to welcome it. Fresh blood and all. There was something about Emily that just radiated new. New ideas, new takes, new groups and new people. None had looked back.
“There’s nothing wrong with being a softie,” Naomi replies, smirking at Emily’s text. Naomi’d gone and fucked up her Public Policy: Western Europe exam, thinking immediately of texting the redhead after it was over.
B pluses don’t count as fails <3.
“Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with it,” Cook says, finishing his juice and tossing it into the garbage. He lies down beside Effy.
“No?” Effy asks him quietly.
He shakes his head. “No.”
Naomi gets up awkwardly and tells them she’s meeting Emily. Smirks happily when she turns around at the bottom of the steps and Effy’s lowering herself beside Cook with a smile.
-
She’s called to Sutton’s office on the Monday morning, and trying desperately not to get her hopes up. She texts Emily about the meeting and feels the confidence boost up slightly when she gets an immediate reply.
Don’t worry so much. You’re incredible.
It’s comforting because it doesn’t promise anything, only states what is and what will remain the same after she meets with him. She texts her back whilst walking up the stairs and sends it right before knocking on his door.
Can I see you tonight?
‘Come in, Naomi,’ he had said, and she could tell from his tone already as she closed the door that she didn’t get it.
“It’s alright,” she says calmly, surprised that it actually does seem it, and though she is disappointed, she isn’t as entirely wracked up about it as she thought she’d be.
He’s printed out her letter, and it surprises her entirely, that he’d really spent so much time taken everything into consideration. “I think you have grown, Naomi,” he says seriously, “Into a very mature, and respectable adult.”
She nods. “I wasn’t all that sure about the letter-”
“Oh the letter is great,” he assures her, giving it back to her, “I want you to have a copy of it, in fact, a hard copy for keepsake. You have a great mind, Naomi, a great one. A creative and intelligent one, at that.” He brings his hands together, and breathes into them. “And you have a good heart, too.”
She swallows, looking down at her paper, realizing it was probably lacking in just that.
“I think you’ve got a great heart, Naomi, and it’ll only continue to grow with time. If only you’d let yourself show it.”
“Yeah,” Naomi responds quietly, and thinks back to the night before she’d sent the letter in. “Things have changed a bit since then. I’ve...” She sighs hopelessly at the complete and utter cliché she’s been reduced to. “I’ve changed. I’ve met someone and she’s just...changed me.”
He smiles warmly. “I’m glad to hear it. So maybe next year, yes? Or after your graduates.”
“Yeah,” she says, “Yeah, maybe.”
She stands up to say her goodbye to Sutton, shaking his hand, getting his personal email and promising to keep in touch over the summer. He drops he’d gladly write some letters of intent and she thanks him, most profoundly. Apologizes for getting him so wrong at the beginning of semester.
-
“I remember you,” she says to Emily firstly when they meet up that night for dinner.
“Didn’t get it, did you?” Emily says sadly, taking her neck in a hand and kissing her cheek to make it better.
“No,” Naomi says casually, and dismisses it with a shrug. “But more importantly, I remember you.”
Emily laughs. “Alright,” she says, lowering her hand to lock arms with her as they continue to walk down the street in the spring air. “What do you remember?”
“I remember you at Jenkins’s party,” she says, grinning at the adorable bewildered look on Emily’s face. “I’d gone down for some peace and quiet, and was sleeping on the couch. You came in with a blanket and put it on top of me.”
“I didn’t want to wake you,” Emily smiles, swaying their arms.
“I just assumed the red was the blanket, not your hair. But then I remembered the blanket was blue.” She stops their walking and faces Emily, brings her chin up to see her eyes, drops her hand back down to take a lock of her bright hair between her fingers. “This was red.”
“Are you getting soppy on me, Naomi Campbell?” Emily grins, leaning and kissing her.
“Yeah,” she murmurs, sighing dramtically, feeling the soft curve of Emily’s jawline with the back of her knuckles, “I think I am.”
-
She gets accepted to LSE and Goldsmith, choosing LSE when Emily gets accepted to Birkbeck. She’s moving in with Katie and Naomi’ll share a flat with Cook. It’s all working out so wonderfully it’s ridiculous and terrifying and clearly destined for failure. Naomi pauses for a moment and considers maybe this is what it’s like to have plans with others, planning around others, planning with others.
-
“She always did believe in me, you know, even when we were prats,” she says as Effy’s helping her roll up her carpet.
“Spare me details please,” Effy winces, “I’m happy for you.”
Naomi grins sheepishly. “Cook coming?”
“Yeah, he’s on his way,” Effy replies, sitting down on the couch, exhausted. Naomi rests beside her. “It’s weird, that we’re leaving,” she says.
“Yeah,” Naomi responds, observing her living room. How quickly it had all come to an end, their final year. How many things they’d gone through, the heartaches, the exams, the new friends and lovers. She thinks about Emily again, like a happy place, and can’t help but smile.
“You’ve changed,” Effy says, tapping her temple dreamily.
“Yeah,” Naomi responds again. “I guess I have.”
Effy leans on her shoulder and rests with a soft exhale. “We’ll see each other often in London?” she asks.
Naomi chuckles. “I doubt you’ll be all that busy, what with attending school and all.”
Effy smirks. School isn’t for everyone, and Effy and Cook are no exception to that. “I meant you,” she says, poking her nose this time, “And your girlfriend.”
Naomi smiles. “I’ll always have time for you.”
“Hmm,” Effy smiles at that, “She hasn’t changed the important bits.”
No, Naomi thinks sappily, she has.
-
It’s mid way through June by the time they’ve completely settled into their new flat and Cook’s getting nervous already.
“Do I look alright?” he asks, shifting his tie around.
“No,” she responds, rolling her eyes and taking it off him completely. “Now you’re fine.”
“Right,” he says, downing his champagne already.
Emily and Katie arrive together, and Katie’s slightly tipsy and enters like a whirlwind with her lisp and swagger. “The party’s arrived, bitches,” she declares casually, handing some champagne over to Naomi before kissing her roughly on the cheek. She envelops Cook into a grand hug before smacking him and telling him not to ruin her hair.
Emily gets nearer to Naomi with that small, small smile and they grin into their kiss. “Pre-drinking at your place I see,” Naomi smirks.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Emily murmurs, kissing her again.
Effy arrives later, fashionably late as always, and the jealousy is clear on her face when Katie’s rubbing something off Cook’s shirt.
“Did you see that?” Emily leans over to whisper in her ear, and it’s drowned over by everyone’s chattering.
“Yeah,” Naomi responds, kissing Emily’s cheek.
She grins, and rubs her nose against hers.
It’s not much, but it’s a start.
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