Jan 05, 2009 21:05
My ex apparently de-friended me on Facebook recently. No big deal, it's not like I was dying to speak to him (ever again...). But it came as a little bit of a shock when I realized it. To the best of my recollection he never really used the site all that much. But okay, fine.
Well, it's not really fine or I wouldn't be writing about it.
We didn't end well. It was kind of a blow out and many tears were shed and feelings were hurt all around. I was actually homeless for a while. But he didn't remove me right away, this would have been in the last couple of weeks. A month maybe.
He told me in our last conversation, though I may be recalling it incorrectly as I was not exactly listening quietly (what a messy day for everyone), that if I ever needed anything he would be there. That he didn't hate me and he wanted us to still be able to be friends. So what changed in the last month?
But we mustn't dwell. That just makes us bitter and introspective in the worst way.
Speaking of dwelling!
There's been another man who has been pseudo-in-my-life for the last little bit. Nothing too emotionally serious (for which I am beyond thankful this recent anti-run in with the ex makes me realize).
But of course not emotionally devoid. He's actually rather fun to talk to. I don't hate spending time with him. No idea where he stands on this, though. Are my feelings of 'I don't hate you' reciprocated? Have I managed to do that thing where I scare all potential friends off? Some of them come back, drawn like moth to the flame of my sass and quirkiness? Is he one of those types or is he thoroughly creeped?
I sent him a quick message, just asking if he wanted to hang out or something. Now I'm trying not act like I'm waiting for a response.
I'm actually among the most impatient people I've met. Kyle always told me it was part of my charm.
In conclusion: pffh, men. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Or something.
happiness is not a fish you can catch,
boys,
friends