006. creme de la... policier? le premier jour. (event)

[un_beau_coquin]

 Action for 1445 Mitchell Road:

[Spy, up early as usual, goes outside for his daily walk. When he notices something that shouldn't be there, he takes the bottle of milk and brings it inside. People always said not to drink the milk, but the posters that have been put up around town is making him think twice. He sets it on the kitchen counter and

Comments

BLUH

[misterwwizard]

BLUH!!
[cue bluh moment, Spiders come crawling out of his mouth as he tries to swallow whatever is left of the milk. Several bite him as they continue to flow out of his mouth. After the inital moments of freak the fuck out, he regains his composure]

Spiders? Who in the fuckin' hell thought it was a good idea for people to drink fuckin' SPIDERS.

[un_beau_coquin]

[He snorts.] Our new sheriff, apparently. I 'ave been told several times not to drink zhe milk, as zhe milkman is someone not to be trusted. Do you believe me now?

[misterwwizard]

This is no work of no fuckin' sheriff, I can be tellin' you that much. Only one person I know is nefarious enough to be puttin' spiders in my milk.

[He sighs wistfully. At last, she had come back to him. His true kismesis was coming back to him, at last! This wasn't no mere milkman's prank, this was a hatepresent from Vriska! Though now, his tounge is beginning to swell up from the spider bites and he's now breaking out in hives.]

Thhe decideth two be crawlin' back thwo me after all thith time. thith ith fuckin' wonderful! At lath, the's rekindlin' the ol' hateflame.

What the hell? Figureth the'd pick the thpiderth that give me a reacthion. Ugh, I fuckin' thound like that pthychic douthebag now. Really knowth how two thet my hate alight!

[He begins to scratch at his hives wildly...]
WHY AM I THO ITCHY?

[He warned you about the milk, bro.]

[un_beau_coquin]

I... am glad you 'ave reached your own conclusion. At least try to be more wary in regards to zhe milk. [His eyebrows twitch. Unless, and from the kid's reaction, he's not even sure anymore, it's Eridan's thing to check for such pleasant surprises in his milk.]

You should not scratch so much, petit. Zhough honestly, I do not zhink you will listen to me, so I will just stand 'ere in case you come to your senses and ask for assistance. Meanwhile, 'ave fun wizh your 'ives.

[misterwwizard]

[oh god the itching the pain he's never had something like this happen.]

How do you get rid of thith fuckin' itch? What kind of human ditheath ith thith?

[un_beau_coquin]

I believe it is 'ives. I am not a doctor, so I do not 'ave zhe proper medication for you. And for zhe same reason, I do not know any ways to lessen zhe itch so good luck dealing wizh zhat.