Tsubame! I was so absorbed in the story I blocked everything out the entire time I was reading.
It sounded so professional especially the beginnin. If that makes sense ^^; and how fitting angels and demons on Friday 13th.
Aiba's dream sequence had me laughing so much. Naturally aiba would turn scary into erotic just :D :D:D and the whole complex mind,oh wait just no logic. I was grinning so hard!
The meeting between Junma made my heart skip a beat. The laughter sounded like bells tinkling in wind. Jun’s heart melted at the sound and his face broke into an involuntary smile I really liked this line, I think its the symbolizing of bells and angels.
This may sound ridiculous but my favorite part was Toma sweeping.
I'm not gonna lie I was secretly hoping for jun to attack toma in the hey romance in the stable ;P
( ... )
And I was secretly hoping for Jun to attack Toma in the hay too... I don't know what happened... oh wait, I know... it was love at first sight and they just wanted to find a new secret hiding place before attacking each other!
Now I'm curious about their romps on Peru!!! No my precious mind... do go there... you will come back pervier than you already are!!.... ah... too late!
Ahem... anyway, back to topic... Thanks for such a lovely comment!
Loveed it soooo much. Though it was REALLY hard to break my sweat boy image of chinen, it was worth it when he was peeping on ohno hahaha. But yes, a very fun and cracky read XD
A few things I noticed when I read:
I shall bath in the blood of such A tiny typo, 'bath' should be 'bathe'
'If you ever meet the devil, do not try to be brave and run… run from there… The phrasing is slightly confusing. The 'and' makes it sound like he shouldn't be running (as if by running he is being brave) An easy fix would be just to make two sentences. '...do not try to be brave. Run...run from there...' there are other ways to change that too, and really it isn't too confusing. (the rest of the sentence explains it fairly well)
...there was something else I think, but I just don't remember.
AMAZING fic, just thought I'd say again, it was fun to read XD (you loose points for including both aimiya AND ohba. shame on you.....ok I lie, they were funny :P)
I'd like to visit Peru too someday... I actually want to visit all the places with ancient civilizations histories present. lol ... its ok, being random is healthy and fun!
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It sounded so professional especially the beginnin. If that makes sense ^^;
and how fitting angels and demons on Friday 13th.
Aiba's dream sequence had me laughing so much. Naturally aiba would turn scary into erotic just :D :D:D
and the whole complex mind,oh wait just no logic. I was grinning so hard!
The meeting between Junma made my heart skip a beat.
The laughter sounded like bells tinkling in wind. Jun’s heart melted at the sound and his face broke into an involuntary smile
I really liked this line, I think its the symbolizing of bells and angels.
This may sound ridiculous but my favorite part was Toma sweeping.
I'm not gonna lie I was secretly hoping for jun to attack toma in the hey romance in the stable ;P ( ... )
Reply
Thanks for reading so fast!
And I was secretly hoping for Jun to attack Toma in the hay too... I don't know what happened... oh wait, I know... it was love at first sight and they just wanted to find a new secret hiding place before attacking each other!
Now I'm curious about their romps on Peru!!! No my precious mind... do go there... you will come back pervier than you already are!!.... ah... too late!
Ahem... anyway, back to topic... Thanks for such a lovely comment!
Reply
A few things I noticed when I read:
I shall bath in the blood of such A tiny typo, 'bath' should be 'bathe'
'If you ever meet the devil, do not try to be brave and run… run from there… The phrasing is slightly confusing. The 'and' makes it sound like he shouldn't be running (as if by running he is being brave) An easy fix would be just to make two sentences. '...do not try to be brave. Run...run from there...' there are other ways to change that too, and really it isn't too confusing. (the rest of the sentence explains it fairly well)
...there was something else I think, but I just don't remember.
AMAZING fic, just thought I'd say again, it was fun to read XD (you loose points for including both aimiya AND ohba. shame on you.....ok I lie, they were funny :P)
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Thanks kos... for the corrections!!! Fixed them... it should be fine now! *huggles*
Hahaha... aimiya and ohba are for dyani and kyon! But I'm glad you laughed at them!
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yes shining with excitement, Jun followed Toma to the hay, “Ah, so I’m your first devil?”
Blushing profusely, Toma muttered, “That didn’t sound right… but yes, you’re the first devil I met in person.”
Loved this!!
And you know i have friends in Peru, so i also want to go there lol so random
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I hope it wasn't too crazy and made sense!!!
I'd like to visit Peru too someday... I actually want to visit all the places with ancient civilizations histories present. lol ... its ok, being random is healthy and fun!
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