Blame Laura for this one, folks.
Title: “All I Need is a Miracle”
Author:
uhzoomzip
Summary: The continuing saga of Jack & Sawyer in Tennessee (Parts 1, 2, and 3). This time, they go see a religious musical (no, really!).
Author's Notes: Belated birthday fic for the illustrious
elise_509, with whom I was too busy having fun with to actually offer to write her anything. ;-) But ask and ye shall receive, Laura - I bring you Miracle!fic! It came out all bicker-y (I typed biker-y first, heh!) and only allusions to pr0n, but to paraphrase Woody Allen, "the muse wants what it wants." :-)
Following the sophistication of Biltmore, Sawyer had decided that they needed to take in some of the cheesy sites on the main strip of Pigeon Forge. After collapsing on the couch with Jack back at the cabin and reading over the tourist pamphlets, Sawyer decided they had to go see "The Miracle."
Jack almost drops his beer at that. "WHAT? Sawyer, you're the least religious person I've ever met. And you want to go see a religious play?"
"No, I want to go see a religious musical." Picking up the pamphlet, Sawyer reads, "The curtains will rise with the dawning of creation, as the fingerprint of Christ is illustrated throughout the Old Testament. See angels flying overhead proclaiming His Birth. Feel the wind and the rain as Jesus calms the sea. Witness the glory of His spectacular ascension. You’ll be inspired and renewed as you witness the glory of The Miracle!"
Jack just stares at him. "Feel the wind and the rain? You didn't even want to ride the water rides at Dollywood!"
Rolling his eyes, Sawyer doesn't give up. "Come on, Jack, it will be fun. It says here they're scoured the country for the best singers, actors, and animals..."
"The best animals?" Jack snorts. "I'm sure!" Grabbing his laptop, he quickly Googles the show for reviews as Sawyer looks at the screen over his shoulder, pointing in satisfaction.
"Look at that - 'It was fabulous. The show touched us when we saw what Jesus went through for all of us. I would recommend this show to everyone (old and young).' Doesn't get much more positive than that, Jack."
"Yes, I'll surely trust the opinion of BUTHOLE in Europa, Missouri when it comes to my entertainment." Jack watches Sawyer's smugness fade before it's replaced with a look he's all too familiar with.
"Don't even," Jack warns, stopping the joke he can see coming a mile away.
"I'll buy you dinner beforehand. And beer." Sawyer quickly gets down to brass tacks, knowing they could hem and haw all night otherwise.
Jack looks thoughtful at that. "Okay," he sighs, "but it sounds like I'm going to need a lot of beer to get through this."
***
Sawyer made good on his promise, plying Jack with all the beer he desired at dinner and then after, joining in himself as well. By the time they stumble down the street to the theater, they're both lit up like Christmas trees and giggling. They manage to make it to their seats (with only a small glare from the blue-haired usher) as the play is starting. It is over-the-top, bordering on gaudy, with swelling music and overdramatic acting. Sawyer is too intoxicated (and lax in his Bible studies) to figure out what's going on.
"What the hell is this?" Sawyer stage whispers to Jack, who has a terrible case of the man-giggles.
"I think it's the dawn of creation!"
"Jesus Christ," Sawyer mutters, belligerence barely muzzled.
Jack is squinting at the stage from their seats toward the back of the theater. "No, I don't think he's come out yet."
Sawyer guffaws at that, and the people around him turn and glare, some of them shushing him. It's then that he realizes that aside from some parents with children, the audience is composed almost entirely of senior citizens.
At intermission, they hover in a corner of the lobby, trying to dodge walkers and canes. "Why did I want to see this?" Sawyer asks, genuinely puzzled at why this seemed like such a good idea back at the cabin.
"I told you so!" Jack is gleeful. "It was probably the whiskey talking."
"Well, now it's the beer talking - let's get the hell out of here." Sawyer's ready to bolt until he spots a ring of children squealing excitedly around... a camel?
Grabbing Jack's hand, he darts across the current of people, like Frogger crossing the road.
***
"I can't believe you made me do that." Jack is pouting now, which just widens Sawyer's smile.
"Oh come on, you look adorable on that camel!" To prove his point, Sawyer shoves the Polaroid into Jack's face. Examining it, he scowls, mimicking the one he had on in the picture. "Those little kids were in awe. They had to settle for just petting it."
"How much did you pay to get that picture?" Jack's still salty, but he knows a part of him enjoyed it.
"Baby, you don't want to know." And that's the truth. Despite the Oceanic settlement, Sawyer has always been fickle with his money, except when it comes to once-in-a-lifetime opportunities... like seeing his boyfriend ride a camel and capturing the moment for posterity.
Deciding they were way past the point of being able to drive, Sawyer starts walking towards one of the dozens of motels sporting a vacancy sign.
"Where are you going?" Jack asks, apparently slow on the uptake when he's liquored up.
"Motel over there, $15 a night." Sawyer manages to get out through a yawn. He walks another few feet before he realizes Jack isn't behind him. Turning around, he stares at Jack, who's standing there like a stubborn mule. "What?"
"We're not staying in a $15 motel, Sawyer." Jack says, like he can't believe Sawyer would even consider it. "There's a Sleep Inn over this way, come on." And with that, Jack starts heading in the opposite direction.
"Whatever, your highness." Sawyer follows until they get close enough for him to read the sign. This time, it's Jack walking ahead before he realizes Sawyer has stopped. "What's wrong?"
"That one's $50 a night! I ain't payin' that, 'specially when there are all these other places we could be stayin' at for half that."
With an irritated sigh, Jack pulls out his wallet. "I've got it, all right, Ebenezer?"
Sawyer can't hide the look of shock that crosses his face, replaced quickly by one of amusement. "You tryin' to do the nickname thing, Jack?" Bridging the distance until he's close enough to take in Jack's annoyed look, he puts his hand on Jack's cheek. "How adorable is that? I must be rubbin' off on ya."
"Not yet - I thought we'd wait until we got to the room." Jack's eyes flash, lips settled in a smirk, and Sawyer has him by the hand then, dragging Jack as he moves double-time towards the Sleep Inn.
Behind him, he hears Jack's laughter. "Wow, I really did witness 'the glory of the miracle' tonight."
Sawyer grits his teeth. "Not yet, Jackass, but you damn well will."
Author:
uhzoomzip
Summary: The continuing saga of Jack & Sawyer in Tennessee (Parts 1, 2, and 3). This time, they go see a religious musical (no, really!).
Author's Notes: Belated birthday fic for the illustrious
elise_509, with whom I was too busy having fun with to actually offer to write her anything. ;-) But ask and ye shall receive, Laura - I bring you Miracle!fic! It came out all bicker-y (I typed biker-y first, heh!) and only allusions to pr0n, but to paraphrase Woody Allen, "the muse wants what it wants." :-)
Following the sophistication of Biltmore, Sawyer had decided that they needed to take in some of the cheesy sites on the main strip of Pigeon Forge. After collapsing on the couch with Jack back at the cabin and reading over the tourist pamphlets, Sawyer decided they had to go see "The Miracle."
Jack almost drops his beer at that. "WHAT? Sawyer, you're the least religious person I've ever met. And you want to go see a religious play?"
"No, I want to go see a religious musical." Picking up the pamphlet, Sawyer reads, "The curtains will rise with the dawning of creation, as the fingerprint of Christ is illustrated throughout the Old Testament. See angels flying overhead proclaiming His Birth. Feel the wind and the rain as Jesus calms the sea. Witness the glory of His spectacular ascension. You’ll be inspired and renewed as you witness the glory of The Miracle!"
Jack just stares at him. "Feel the wind and the rain? You didn't even want to ride the water rides at Dollywood!"
Rolling his eyes, Sawyer doesn't give up. "Come on, Jack, it will be fun. It says here they're scoured the country for the best singers, actors, and animals..."
"The best animals?" Jack snorts. "I'm sure!" Grabbing his laptop, he quickly Googles the show for reviews as Sawyer looks at the screen over his shoulder, pointing in satisfaction.
"Look at that - 'It was fabulous. The show touched us when we saw what Jesus went through for all of us. I would recommend this show to everyone (old and young).' Doesn't get much more positive than that, Jack."
"Yes, I'll surely trust the opinion of BUTHOLE in Europa, Missouri when it comes to my entertainment." Jack watches Sawyer's smugness fade before it's replaced with a look he's all too familiar with.
"Don't even," Jack warns, stopping the joke he can see coming a mile away.
"I'll buy you dinner beforehand. And beer." Sawyer quickly gets down to brass tacks, knowing they could hem and haw all night otherwise.
Jack looks thoughtful at that. "Okay," he sighs, "but it sounds like I'm going to need a lot of beer to get through this."
***
Sawyer made good on his promise, plying Jack with all the beer he desired at dinner and then after, joining in himself as well. By the time they stumble down the street to the theater, they're both lit up like Christmas trees and giggling. They manage to make it to their seats (with only a small glare from the blue-haired usher) as the play is starting. It is over-the-top, bordering on gaudy, with swelling music and overdramatic acting. Sawyer is too intoxicated (and lax in his Bible studies) to figure out what's going on.
"What the hell is this?" Sawyer stage whispers to Jack, who has a terrible case of the man-giggles.
"I think it's the dawn of creation!"
"Jesus Christ," Sawyer mutters, belligerence barely muzzled.
Jack is squinting at the stage from their seats toward the back of the theater. "No, I don't think he's come out yet."
Sawyer guffaws at that, and the people around him turn and glare, some of them shushing him. It's then that he realizes that aside from some parents with children, the audience is composed almost entirely of senior citizens.
At intermission, they hover in a corner of the lobby, trying to dodge walkers and canes. "Why did I want to see this?" Sawyer asks, genuinely puzzled at why this seemed like such a good idea back at the cabin.
"I told you so!" Jack is gleeful. "It was probably the whiskey talking."
"Well, now it's the beer talking - let's get the hell out of here." Sawyer's ready to bolt until he spots a ring of children squealing excitedly around... a camel?
Grabbing Jack's hand, he darts across the current of people, like Frogger crossing the road.
***
"I can't believe you made me do that." Jack is pouting now, which just widens Sawyer's smile.
"Oh come on, you look adorable on that camel!" To prove his point, Sawyer shoves the Polaroid into Jack's face. Examining it, he scowls, mimicking the one he had on in the picture. "Those little kids were in awe. They had to settle for just petting it."
"How much did you pay to get that picture?" Jack's still salty, but he knows a part of him enjoyed it.
"Baby, you don't want to know." And that's the truth. Despite the Oceanic settlement, Sawyer has always been fickle with his money, except when it comes to once-in-a-lifetime opportunities... like seeing his boyfriend ride a camel and capturing the moment for posterity.
Deciding they were way past the point of being able to drive, Sawyer starts walking towards one of the dozens of motels sporting a vacancy sign.
"Where are you going?" Jack asks, apparently slow on the uptake when he's liquored up.
"Motel over there, $15 a night." Sawyer manages to get out through a yawn. He walks another few feet before he realizes Jack isn't behind him. Turning around, he stares at Jack, who's standing there like a stubborn mule. "What?"
"We're not staying in a $15 motel, Sawyer." Jack says, like he can't believe Sawyer would even consider it. "There's a Sleep Inn over this way, come on." And with that, Jack starts heading in the opposite direction.
"Whatever, your highness." Sawyer follows until they get close enough for him to read the sign. This time, it's Jack walking ahead before he realizes Sawyer has stopped. "What's wrong?"
"That one's $50 a night! I ain't payin' that, 'specially when there are all these other places we could be stayin' at for half that."
With an irritated sigh, Jack pulls out his wallet. "I've got it, all right, Ebenezer?"
Sawyer can't hide the look of shock that crosses his face, replaced quickly by one of amusement. "You tryin' to do the nickname thing, Jack?" Bridging the distance until he's close enough to take in Jack's annoyed look, he puts his hand on Jack's cheek. "How adorable is that? I must be rubbin' off on ya."
"Not yet - I thought we'd wait until we got to the room." Jack's eyes flash, lips settled in a smirk, and Sawyer has him by the hand then, dragging Jack as he moves double-time towards the Sleep Inn.
Behind him, he hears Jack's laughter. "Wow, I really did witness 'the glory of the miracle' tonight."
Sawyer grits his teeth. "Not yet, Jackass, but you damn well will."