Lost Riffs Day Four - "You'll Be Older Too"
Title: You’ll Be Older Too
Author:
uhzoomzip
Notes: Written for prompt When I’m sixty-four for Lost Riffs at
lostsquee
Summary: An AU resolution to Kate, Jack, and Sawyer’s captivity. Spoiler-free, post "I Do".
Author's Notes: This is a Kate POV - don’t ask me where that came from! Also, it’s quite angsty and not porny at all - sorry!
I'm lonesome as I can be...
She had told them to go; she was staying. Now, it is done. Self-sacrifice is never easy, she supposes, but she is filled with a vast emptiness. She holds onto it, grateful to be feeling anything but the overwhelming sorrow and despair she knows will be coming next, when it all sinks in.
***************************
Once she had decided, both of them were brought in. She knows it was done for Their benefit, so Ben could watch the dynamic between the three of them when she told them. She was past caring, though - she was just trying to soak up their presence, memorize their faces. She knew that this would most likely be the last time she'd see them.
Not surprisingly, they were both livid. She knew they were surprised as well. Truth be told, so was she. She had always run. And now, she was turning herself in.
Jack had spent time with Juliet, so he put it together before Sawyer could. "She's a fertility doctor, Kate!" he yelled, pacing quickly in the small room, hand running over his hair.
Not acknowledging that, although they both knew what it meant, she focused on what she needed to. "They've agreed to let you both go, Jack. And they said they'd leave us," not us anymore, just them, she thought, "the people in our camp, alone. You guys can go back to the beach and everyone will be safe."
"And you believe them, Freckles? They're not exactly the most honest people. Hell, George Washington there didn't even admit to chopping down the cherry tree while Mohammed was beating the snot out of him. And you really think they'll never come after us just because they cross their heart and hope to die?" Sawyer stayed against the wall, but he was angry too. She didn’t blame them; she'd be doing the exact same thing if their positions were reversed.
"I have no choice. If I don't, they're going to take more of us. They’ll take Claire again - or Sun!"
Jack stopped pacing at that, just looked down dejectedly. He knew there were no good choices in this scenario. She didn’t look at Sawyer; she knew his "every man for himself" philosophy; surely it wouldn't condone trading herself for her pregnant friend, so she was surprised when he put his arms around her, holding her firmly.
"Don't do this." Sawyer's breath tickled her ear.
"It's already done." she whispered into his chest. He held her tighter, and she held on too, then broke away, looking anywhere but at him.
Jack was on the other side of the small room, just watching. She could see the look of defiance on his face and knew what he would say before the words came out of his mouth.
"I'm not letting you do this."
She went to him then, grabbed his face gently with both hands and stared at him, quietly telling him the truth. “It’s not up to you, Jack. It never was.”
***************************
"Kate? It's time now." Juliet is watching her with those disturbingly calm eyes. "The procedure is pretty simple. You may feel some discomfort, but it won't last too long."
She feels like an incubator; a bird asked to warm another's eggs.
***************************
And if you say the word, I could stay with you
At her request, they have finally turned off the non-stop loop of Patsy Cline tunes coming through the tinny speakers. She's still not sure if it was designed as an act of torture or a feeble attempt at comfort. All she knows is that she can't listen to her anymore. Instead, they play a bland mix of classic pop songs - Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, The Beatles. When that song comes on, she does her best to drown it out, to not think about what she'll be doing at 64. Part of her hopes she won't live that long, but the logical part of her knows that feeling is most likely temporary, a result of the dramatic turn her path has taken. She'll cooperate, she'll breed for them, she'll adapt.
You'll be older too..
She closes her eyes and imagines a different future, a future with him. It may be years, but she won't be fertile forever. Maybe they'll let her go back to him then. She settles down for the night, holding onto that thought.
Author:
uhzoomzip
Notes: Written for prompt When I’m sixty-four for Lost Riffs at
lostsquee
Summary: An AU resolution to Kate, Jack, and Sawyer’s captivity. Spoiler-free, post "I Do".
Author's Notes: This is a Kate POV - don’t ask me where that came from! Also, it’s quite angsty and not porny at all - sorry!
I'm lonesome as I can be...
She had told them to go; she was staying. Now, it is done. Self-sacrifice is never easy, she supposes, but she is filled with a vast emptiness. She holds onto it, grateful to be feeling anything but the overwhelming sorrow and despair she knows will be coming next, when it all sinks in.
***************************
Once she had decided, both of them were brought in. She knows it was done for Their benefit, so Ben could watch the dynamic between the three of them when she told them. She was past caring, though - she was just trying to soak up their presence, memorize their faces. She knew that this would most likely be the last time she'd see them.
Not surprisingly, they were both livid. She knew they were surprised as well. Truth be told, so was she. She had always run. And now, she was turning herself in.
Jack had spent time with Juliet, so he put it together before Sawyer could. "She's a fertility doctor, Kate!" he yelled, pacing quickly in the small room, hand running over his hair.
Not acknowledging that, although they both knew what it meant, she focused on what she needed to. "They've agreed to let you both go, Jack. And they said they'd leave us," not us anymore, just them, she thought, "the people in our camp, alone. You guys can go back to the beach and everyone will be safe."
"And you believe them, Freckles? They're not exactly the most honest people. Hell, George Washington there didn't even admit to chopping down the cherry tree while Mohammed was beating the snot out of him. And you really think they'll never come after us just because they cross their heart and hope to die?" Sawyer stayed against the wall, but he was angry too. She didn’t blame them; she'd be doing the exact same thing if their positions were reversed.
"I have no choice. If I don't, they're going to take more of us. They’ll take Claire again - or Sun!"
Jack stopped pacing at that, just looked down dejectedly. He knew there were no good choices in this scenario. She didn’t look at Sawyer; she knew his "every man for himself" philosophy; surely it wouldn't condone trading herself for her pregnant friend, so she was surprised when he put his arms around her, holding her firmly.
"Don't do this." Sawyer's breath tickled her ear.
"It's already done." she whispered into his chest. He held her tighter, and she held on too, then broke away, looking anywhere but at him.
Jack was on the other side of the small room, just watching. She could see the look of defiance on his face and knew what he would say before the words came out of his mouth.
"I'm not letting you do this."
She went to him then, grabbed his face gently with both hands and stared at him, quietly telling him the truth. “It’s not up to you, Jack. It never was.”
***************************
"Kate? It's time now." Juliet is watching her with those disturbingly calm eyes. "The procedure is pretty simple. You may feel some discomfort, but it won't last too long."
She feels like an incubator; a bird asked to warm another's eggs.
***************************
And if you say the word, I could stay with you
At her request, they have finally turned off the non-stop loop of Patsy Cline tunes coming through the tinny speakers. She's still not sure if it was designed as an act of torture or a feeble attempt at comfort. All she knows is that she can't listen to her anymore. Instead, they play a bland mix of classic pop songs - Fleetwood Mac, Elton John, The Beatles. When that song comes on, she does her best to drown it out, to not think about what she'll be doing at 64. Part of her hopes she won't live that long, but the logical part of her knows that feeling is most likely temporary, a result of the dramatic turn her path has taken. She'll cooperate, she'll breed for them, she'll adapt.
You'll be older too..
She closes her eyes and imagines a different future, a future with him. It may be years, but she won't be fertile forever. Maybe they'll let her go back to him then. She settles down for the night, holding onto that thought.