Trust
Title: Trust
Author: wenrom31
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Allan
Mentions Djaq, Tom
Genre: Angst
Spoilers: episode 1x07
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I still don't own it. :(
Notes: Written for rh_intercomm. A big thank you to roh_wyn for the wonderful beta work!
Summary Allan thinks about Djaq after Tom's death.
She saved him that day. Saved him from himself.
His brother was dead and Allan had been more lost than he'd ever been before. He hadn't really given his brother half a thought in years-they hadn't exactly made great memories together. But over the few days Tom had been in the gang, Allan had begun to think maybe the two of them could be a part of something important...together. They could be Robin's men and maybe make some decent memories.
But Tom was dead and Allan couldn't do anything but cry. He didn't even know for sure why he was crying. For his brother and the life cut short? For himself and the guilt over not trying hard enough to save him? Because for all practical purposes Allan was now alone in the world?
He just didn't know.
He was fully aware of only one thing...the small woman kneeling in front of him. Later on, when he thought back over that day, Allan would marvel at her absolute efficiency...at the way she just took control immediately and completely.
Before he had the chance to fully process what was happening, she steered him through the crowd of gawking spectators to a safe spot where he could grieve undisturbed. She ordered someone to go and fetch his brother's belongings with all the authority of a wartime general. She was confident and sure and-for some reason-her demeanor calmed him. It helped to make some small amount of sense of the images in his mind and the ringing in his ears. He felt safe with her in charge.
And so he allowed himself to grieve...to cry. And she knew enough-either from experience or wisdom-not to try to tell him him it would all be okay. They both knew it wouldn't. She just knelt there with her hand on his chest and watched over him. Protected him.
Like no one had ever done.
And she told him of her brother's death and of how she had become him-taking his name and even his gender-and Allan was touched. Then she told him that his own brother would live on in him, and Allan was frightened.
But she seemed so certain and so wise that he decided right then and there he would trust her-something he'd never really done with anyone-because he could tell she knew a great deal more about life and love than he would probably ever understand.
And this feeling spread across his chest at that very moment and he now finds that it returns any time he manages to catch her eye or make her laugh. He doesn't know what the feeling is and, frankly, he doesn't care. All he knows is that it warms him from the inside out better than the best spiced wine or the feistiest bed companion.
And Allan knows-with more sureness than he's ever been able to muster before-that he's glad she's around...and he hopes she'll stay.
Author: wenrom31
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Allan
Mentions Djaq, Tom
Genre: Angst
Spoilers: episode 1x07
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I still don't own it. :(
Notes: Written for rh_intercomm. A big thank you to roh_wyn for the wonderful beta work!
Summary Allan thinks about Djaq after Tom's death.
She saved him that day. Saved him from himself.
His brother was dead and Allan had been more lost than he'd ever been before. He hadn't really given his brother half a thought in years-they hadn't exactly made great memories together. But over the few days Tom had been in the gang, Allan had begun to think maybe the two of them could be a part of something important...together. They could be Robin's men and maybe make some decent memories.
But Tom was dead and Allan couldn't do anything but cry. He didn't even know for sure why he was crying. For his brother and the life cut short? For himself and the guilt over not trying hard enough to save him? Because for all practical purposes Allan was now alone in the world?
He just didn't know.
He was fully aware of only one thing...the small woman kneeling in front of him. Later on, when he thought back over that day, Allan would marvel at her absolute efficiency...at the way she just took control immediately and completely.
Before he had the chance to fully process what was happening, she steered him through the crowd of gawking spectators to a safe spot where he could grieve undisturbed. She ordered someone to go and fetch his brother's belongings with all the authority of a wartime general. She was confident and sure and-for some reason-her demeanor calmed him. It helped to make some small amount of sense of the images in his mind and the ringing in his ears. He felt safe with her in charge.
And so he allowed himself to grieve...to cry. And she knew enough-either from experience or wisdom-not to try to tell him him it would all be okay. They both knew it wouldn't. She just knelt there with her hand on his chest and watched over him. Protected him.
Like no one had ever done.
And she told him of her brother's death and of how she had become him-taking his name and even his gender-and Allan was touched. Then she told him that his own brother would live on in him, and Allan was frightened.
But she seemed so certain and so wise that he decided right then and there he would trust her-something he'd never really done with anyone-because he could tell she knew a great deal more about life and love than he would probably ever understand.
And this feeling spread across his chest at that very moment and he now finds that it returns any time he manages to catch her eye or make her laugh. He doesn't know what the feeling is and, frankly, he doesn't care. All he knows is that it warms him from the inside out better than the best spiced wine or the feistiest bed companion.
And Allan knows-with more sureness than he's ever been able to muster before-that he's glad she's around...and he hopes she'll stay.