Entry 2: Video

[uberwaldian]

[Angua is looking a bit sleepy, a bit disheveled, and more than a bit annoyed.]

Well, I suppose I've found out what these "Barge comas" are all about, now. Has anything happened since the Admiral was reinstated?

[She glances down at something in her hand, then holds up a file.]

Other than this, anyway. Which of you is Jack Carter?

Comments

[cartergetsyou]

That's me. You must be Miss Angua.

[Interest definitely piqued by pretty blonde lady who he is probably about to underestimate dreadfully.]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

They work better than you'd think. [Her tone is rather icy -- even though she, herself, was impugning the honor of the Assassin's Guild maybe a day before her arrival on the Barge. It was different! She was allowed to insult them. She lived in Ankh-Morpork.]

So you thought you'd make a living for yourself, then. Carve out a niche? With a bloody knife.

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

[He gave her a withering look.]

D'you know what Newcastle's like? Nah, probably not. There's sweet F.A. for you unless you get lucky. Otherwise it's the factory or the docks and barely enough to pay the rent. So I got out. Lots of fellows did. I had a chance and I bloody well took it.

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

[And she returns the look.]

I understand, Carter. We call them scholarship students, where I'm from. Boys who can't afford to pay their way into the upperclass guilds, so they develop a certain... [Ugh.] ...talent.

[And most of them end up far better than the ones with money, she doesn't say. Most of them get a taste for it. Most of them like what they do.]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

You do what you have to, to get by in this world, Captain Angua.

[There's a subtle gear-shift now, a slight softening. Confrontation is turning into the old unstoppable-object-immovable-force sort of scenario, so he reckons the charm can't hurt.]

Thought you'd understand. Pretty lady like you, being a copper and all. Must've made that choice for a reason.

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

[Oh, but it can. Still, the implied question is not exactly a new one, and she doesn't miss a beat.]

I wanted to be the best man I could be.

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

[That's funny, it is. Carter wants to laugh out loud but is at least canny enough to reckon that's a bad idea. Instead he just smiles a little.]

Seems like a bit of a waste, it does.

[And then Carter makes what is probably one of the worst mistakes of his life: leaning forward and putting a hand on Angua's knee.]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

That was supposed to be a--

[A joke, she's going to say, but then his hand is on her knee. Angua goes rigid with indignation, looking from his face to his hand and back again.]

What do you think you're doing??

[And if he has a very fine ear, he might realize that it sort of sounds like she's... growling?]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

[Something in the back of Carter's brain says "back down, son, this will all end in tears", but unfortunately Carter isn't listening.]

You have to ask, sweetheart?

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

[It will end in some bodily fluid, anyway. It may end up being the red one. A distant part of Angua's mind is almost amazed. Does Carter actually think this will work on some level?]

I think I do, yes. And I think you have three seconds to move your hand.

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

Or what?

[At this point it's not even so much about sex as it is a dominance thing. Sure, she's a copper. But she's a woman, and Carter's a big man, and he can take whatever she throws at him ... right?]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

Or you're going to be saying, 'by the gods, I really wish I'd moved my hand just then!'

[She doesn't want to do It. She wants to keep her calm, and be a pleasant but firm warden, and have a quick and easy rehabilitation for Carter. But the hand on her leg is stirring up feelings that, in turn, are giving her the sensation that every hair is standing on end, that her nails are getting long...]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

[Something's happening. Suddenly, and far too late, all of Carter's danger instincts are going off at once, although he can't explain exactly why, or what it is he's seeing-

And he does move his hand, but now it's clearly much too late for that.]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

[Oh, bollocks. It must be close to the full moon -- it's all but impossible to tell for certain, here -- because there are times she'd still be able to stop it, but this isn't one of them.

There's a complicated moment, sort of like a full-body sneeze, and a yowl that sounds sort of like, "I tooooold youuuuu--"

And then there's a puddle of clothes on the floor, and a very large yellow wolf sitting in front of him. A wolf that opens its mouth and lets out the sort of growl the primordial humans must have heard, before they dropped their clubs and ran.]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[cartergetsyou]

[Oh SHIT.

Carter lurches backward over the bed to get away, miscalculates, and actually falls off, hitting the floor with a thud. In his head, reptile-brain fear is fighting for dominance with sheer disbelief-this is impossible, there's no such thing as bloody werewolves outside of a Hammer Horror film-and so perhaps it's understandable that his reflexes aren't up to scratch for the moment.

Weapon, weapon, there has to be a-no, nothing. Not a damn thing. He grabs the frame of the bed and tries to get to his feet.]

[Spammin' it up spammin' it up]

[uberwaldian]

[Angua doesn't move. That's one of the benefits to the whole 'werewolf' thing: she's not the one who has to move. But the growling doesn't stop, and her teeth remain bared.]