Fiction: What's in a name?
Title: What’s in a name?
Author: Rae
Rating: G
Pairing: Jack/1941!Jack also if you squint hard Jack/Ianto.
Spoilers: 1x12 Captain Jack Harkness
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Jack reflects back on his night with the Captain.
Word Count: 1221
A/N: First fic for this pairing so fingers crossed.
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The only person you’d ever be happy with is yourself…
Jack had never been one for irony. Like coincidence he felt it served no purpose other than to irritate him. Jack had lived so long now he no longer saw things as random moments in time but more strategically placed ‘spontaneous moments’ - kind of like fate. There were times that Jack welcomed this calm understanding of the universe. It gave him comfort in the madness.
But like everything there was another side. There were times when Jack wanted to rage at the Rift, rip it from seam to seam. Just to prove that it didn’t own him. Couldn’t control this Captain Jack Harkness. The crux of why now, Jack was staring intently down into the bottom of his whiskey glass.
“He would have been proud you took his name…” Tosh had told him.
Jack had met the real Captain Jack Harkness, a tall dark haired man with sparkling green eyes. Jack smiled to himself as he remembered certain times in the evening when for a moment the two of them would be saying one thing and meaning something completely different. It was in those moments that the Captain’s eyes had widened for a moment before a mischievous glint would over come him.
It wouldn’t be a far stretch to say Jack was seduced thoroughly by the Captain. It wasn’t intentional nobody ever intends to fall in love. But for once Jack had been swept off his feet. He had tried so hard to get the Captain to go, to live his last night out the way Jack thought he should. But it was the Captain who came back again and again. It was the Captain who had taken Jack in his arms on the dance floor. It was like Jack was tumbling down and down with the Captain’s fingers laced with his own as he did.
Jack felt his grip tighten on his whiskey glass. He thought about how honest he had been with the Captain. It had been so easy. Just to stand there and tell him about his past. So easy to feel the emotions rise, it had been so long that anyone had seen Jack for who he was, rather than what he had built.
Using the Captain’s name.
Jack laughed bitterly, he suddenly felt naked, exposed, like he needed to take the name and hide it away. Keep it safe, keeping what he had with the Captain safe.
“You didn’t know.” The Captain told him, Jack looked up blinking. He was nearly a hundred percent sure the Captain shouldn’t have been there.
“You’re not supposed to be here.” Jack stated, his voice sounded slurred to even his ears.
“Yeah well. You’re so drunk now it doesn’t really matter.” The Captain perched on the edge of Jack’s desk, his shin brushed with Jack’s knee from where Jack sat on his big chair.
Jack blinked as he stared at the what could have been fake mirage of the Captain’s knee. Jack put his glass down on his desk and the Captain grasped his fingers tightly.
“You didn’t know, Jack. About me. You didn’t know.” The Captain told him earnestly.
“I’m - I’m not Jack.” Jack told him. He wasn’t sure how the Captain knew about him being called Jack. Maybe he heard Tosh before they went back - into the Rift.
“You are. We both are.” The Captain let his hand loosen but didn’t take it away. “What’s in a name?”
Jack blinked again as he didn’t know what else to do, “It’s your name Captain. I took it. I stole it - after you died.”
“Well, I’m giving it to you.” The Captain smiled, the one that made Jack’s inside melt. “For the man you’ve become Jack. That man is Captain Jack Harkness.”
In that moment, Jack let go of his glass and let his fingers slid against the Captain’s as they intertwined as if the were mimicking the moment at the Ritz. “What if I can’t do you justice?”
“I have faith in you.” Jack felt the Captain’s fingers trace his cheek. “God Jack you’re so beautiful.”
Jack quirked his eyebrow and his tone was light, “I like to think so.”
“I just - I never got to tell you that.” The Captain told him as his face slid into a bittersweet smile.
Jack looked up, into the Captain’s eyes for a moment before he almost launched out of his seat. Standing up, Jack let go of the Captain’s hand and took his face into his two hands. The first kiss, was a light brushing of lips, a confirmation that they were both here. But the second, the third, were passionate almost bruising. It was like Jack believed if he could somehow kiss the Captain into existence, into his life.
The two were forced to part so that they could breath, panting heavily, Jack leant his forehead against the Captain’s. The Captain’s hands had ended up on Jack’s neck, the other cupping the side of his jaw, stroking it easily.
“I have to go.” The Captain whispered.
“No. You could stay. Stay here with me.” Jack reasoned, pleaded.
“I want to. But you’ve got to wake up.” The Captain told him.
“What?” Jack looked confused, everything was suddenly getting hazy.
“You’ve got to wake up, Jack.” The Captain repeated before he brushed a sweet kiss on Jack’s mouth. The Captain let go of Jack and everything began to spiral.
***
“Jack you’ve got to wake up.” Ianto told Jack’s comatose form, somehow Jack had ended up in a drunken stupor and slept face down on his desk. Bits of paper littered the desk, one piece actually ended up stuck to Jack’s face. Lifting Jack’s weight, as Ianto knelt, held the sleeping Captain in his arms.
“Jack?” Ianto tried again. Maybe something was wrong with him. Ianto checked for a pulse. A steady, strong beat that Ianto recognised pulsed under his fingertips.
“Jack…” Jack whispered. Ianto looked at him. Most probably still drunk by the line amount that had receded in the whiskey bottle. “But - but Jack!” Jack stumbled and slurred.
“Jack? Whose Jack? Is it you?” Ianto tried again as he watched the other man push through his haze.
Opening his blue eyes, Jack blinked as he saw Ianto, “Ianto?”
“Yes sir. You fell asleep at your desk.” Ianto gestured around them.
“Oh…right.” Jack looked at the coffee that had replaced his whiskey.
“Sir, you mumbled something about Jack. Are you feeling…?” Ianto started to ask but faltered.
Jack felt a well of emotion, it was a dream, he had just dreamt Jack. Jack forced a smile on his face and chirpiness in his voice, “I’m Jack, you know that!”
“If you’re sure…” Ianto released his grip on Jack.
“Clear as day, I’m Captain Jack Harkness and don’t you forget it!” Jack laughed.
***
Ianto had returned to his everyday running of the Hub as Jack sat in his office in clean clothes.
Jack stared at the bottom of the glass, speaking to it, “What’s in a name huh?”
A lot apparently…
Jack smiled. So he had lost out to ‘fate’ but in that moment, that ‘dream’ he had proved that fate didn’t win.
Because he was Captain Jack Harkness.
***
Fin!