August 18 - Daddy Dearest
Title: Daddy Dearest
Author: Vashti (tvashti)
Fandom: The Avengers
Character(s): Buffy, Dawn, Bruce, Tony, Natasha
Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy and Dawn make it to New York.
Length: ~2445 words
Disclaimer: Only the words are mine, and that’s probably up for philosophical debate.
Notes: Post BTVS 5.16 "The Body" and pre-Season 7, post "The Avengers" and pre-everything-else.
One of the several receptionists had already made eye-contact with Buffy and Dawn by the time they were halfway to the truly massive helpdesk. "Good morning!" the perky brunette said with a smile. "How can I help you?"
"We're looking for our father."
The receptionist, 'Becky' according to her nametag, immediately turned her eyes to the computer in front of her. "I can definitely help you with that. Do you know what department he works for?"
"Uh..." Buffy glanced at Dawn who shrugged. "Is there a department for semi-regularly turning parts of New York City into rubble?"
Becky frowned at her computer screen. Then, as her brain actually caught up with Buffy's words, she looked up and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Are you saying that your father is a scientist?"
"He is," Dawn said over Buffy's shoulder. "He is definitely a scientist."
"As much as I hate to agree with my sister, our dad? Walking science."
Brightening, Becky said, "Okay! What's his name?"
"Um..." Buffy glanced back at Dawn again. Who shrugged again. "What've we got to lose," she told Buffy, sotto voce.
Squaring her shoulders, Buffy looked Becky in the eye and said, "Our dad is Dr. Bruce Banner. Please tell him Buffy and Dawn are here to see him."
***
"Oh good, Bruce! You're here!" Tony said with the kind of light in his eye usually reserved for the birth of a new mechanical toy.
Bruce looked up and over the back of the sofa he was on, caught a glimpse of Tony's unholy glee and tried to sink into the furniture. "Whatever it is, Tony, I don't want to know."
"But you're gonna love this!"
"Tony..."
"Bru-uce..."
"Tony," Natasha said as she made her way down the ramp that led to the upper level of the great room, "are you whining?"
Pressing a hand to his arc reactor, Tony affected outrage. "I would never."
Bruce and Natasha snorted. She went into the kitchen and he returned to the article he'd been reading on his borrowed tablet.
Tony stuck his tongue out at Natasha, who, unerringly, made an even ruder gesture even though there was no way she could have seen him from behind the door of the monstrously large stainless steel refrigerator door.
"JARVIS, are you siding with the spysassin again?"
"I would never, sir," was the AI's exceedingly dry response.
"Do I detect a note of sarcasm?" Tony asked as he continued his journey to Bruce's not-so-hiding place.
"I am a creature of Sir's making."
Smirking, Bruce looked up from his article. "Doesn't that scare you?"
"Me? Scared of a product of my own rather impressive intellect?" Tony scoffed.
"Yeeeah. I don't see that coming back to haunt us anytime soon," Bruce muttered as he, once again, sank into his seat. "No offense, JARVIS."
"None taken, sir."
Tony snatched the tablet from Bruce's hand. "Hey!"
"Hey yourself," Tony said. "I came here with choice news to share. And I refuse to be distracted." At the snort from the kitchen, he added, "This time."
He shoved a different tablet in Bruce's hands. "Take a look at this."
Bruce sighed heavily, but watched the screen. "Are you really watching guests get snippy with the poor people at the Help Desk, now?" He half turned in his seat to look Tony in the eye. "You need to get some sleep."
"You may be right about the sleep. Maybe. BUT! This is more than just annoying guests at the Help Desk.
"JARVIS, project the image and turn up the volume"
"Yes, sir."
Soon the space in front of the entertainment area was full of a larger-than-life version of what was going on in the downstairs lobby. Bruce's sucked in breath was almost drowned out by the three women arguing.
"Okay, you're right," Tony said conversationally near Bruce's ear, "the short one is pretty hot but--" Tony cut himself off. Bruce's cheek had flushed red then a mottled green.
"Uh...what'd I say?"
Bruce shot up from his seat. "That's my daughter you're ogling."
"You mean she's not making up the world's worst lie?
"Ow!" Tony turned to see who, or what, had hit him in the back of the head, only to catch a glimpse of Natasha's short red hair pass behind him.
"Thank you, Nat," Bruce said.
"Any time, Doc. So you gonna go see about your kid and her friend--"
"Little sister, not mine."
"--now or after Becky with the good hair puts your blood pressure in the green?"
Bruce nodded. "Good point." He climbed over the back of the sofa sending Tony's eyebrows to his hairline. "JARVIS, make sure no one kicks them out or anything," he said as he sprinted from the room.
"Of course, sir."
Tony shook his head. "I don't think I've ever seen him so...like that..."
The hummus covered pretzel in Natasha's hand paused on the way to her mouth as she smirked at the wonder on Tony's face. "What would you do if someone was keeping your kid from seeing you?"
He turned to look at her. "Do you mean before or after I shot myself?"
She snorted. "Sometimes you don't know what you want until you have it and can't keep it." The pretzel went into her mouth and she left the room.
Steve caught her before she could pass out of the great room. "I just saw Bruce run out of here like a lab was on fire. Any idea what's going on?"
Gesturing over her shoulder to Tony, frowning at the lobby still on display, she told him to ask the "genius billionaire fraidy pants."
"I heard that!"
***
Buffy and Dawn watched the numbers on the elevator display climb ever higher. "Would you relax," Dawn said.
"I'll relax when I see him," was Buffy's terse reply.
"Hey...he's nearly indestructible when he's big and green and angry."
"Only on the outside."
"Yeah, it's not as if we don't know where you get it from," Dawn said. She scooted close enough to rest her chin on Buffy's shoulder for a moment, but only a moment, lest they appear to have too much sisterly affection. They had a reputation to maintain, after all.
Buffy had been ready to blow a major gasket, worthy of a Slayer who had grown up a privileged Valley Girl princess, down there with Becky the receptionist. She hadn't taken no for an answer since she was in diapers. Becky was not going to be the first. She'd faced down hell-gods and won. That she'd died in the process was so not the point. The point? No way Becky was keeping her and Dawn from Bruce, even if they'd had to take the long way around.
Then, like magic (which she'd have to check on with Wills), Becks had gotten a call at her station right before Buffy had to decide if putting her fist through the reception desk was worth the hassle of dealing with human security forces if it for her bio-dad on the scene. As stiff as the sharp creased in her dress-shirt, Becky had hung up the phone and looked up at the bristling sisters. "At the second bank of elevators, take the one that lights up when you approach."
"Why?" Dawn asked, only a hair less peeved than Buffy. "Will security be waiting to escort us to sub-basement 3 for interrogation?"
"It will take you directly to the penthouse."
"Oh," Buffy and Dawn said together. No less stiff than the receptionist, Buffy tacked on a barely polite "Thank you" before leading her sister away.
"And your hair sucks!" Dawn had called over her shoulder. Which had prompted Buffy to push her sister toward the elevators.
Now they were watching fancy elevator numbers together.
"Y'know," Dawn said thoughtfully, "I'm surprised she didn't try to accuse you of being Stark's kid. Dude gets around."
Buffy shrugged. "Maybe they don't get as much baby daddy drama now that he's a one-woman man. Have you seen that woman walk in a pair of stilettos?"
"I'd be too scared to cheat on a woman wielding those things."
"Penthouse," the cultured British elevator voice said, breaking into their conversation. It had greeted them when they stepped onto the elevator, prompting Dawn to pet the wood-paneled interior and declare that she could get used to this.
"Thanks, Elevator Voice Guy," Buffy said as they slowed.
"My pleasure, Miss. My name, however, is Jarvis."
Buffy and Dawn shared a look. Dawn leaned in close. "I think the elevator guy is hitting on you," she said as the doors slid open.
"Who's hitting on my kid?" Bruce said from the other side.
"Bruce!" Buffy launched herself at her bio-dad. Who caught her easily.
"Or should I call you 'Big Daddy'," Buffy said, affecting her worst Southern accent.
Bruce grimaced. "Please don't."
"I'd love it if you call him Big Poppa," a male voice said, followed promptly by "Ow! Where did you even chime from?"
"Thanks, Natasha," Bruce called over his shoulder.
"Anytime, Doc," a woman answered.
Dawn, who had come bouncing out behind Buffy, raised her eyebrows. "Lady friend, Bruce? And you didn't tell us? Tsk, tsk. This goes against the Sixth Grade Accords."
Bruce smiled and reached for her. "Hey Dawnie. Are you girls alright?" he asked once he'd ended both of them in his arms.
"Us?" Buffy said. "It's you we're worried about."
"Is that why you're here?"
Dawn nodded. "That and to spill the beans that you're my dad, too."
Sadness clouded Bruce's face. "Dawnie, I know your father hasn't been...ideal, but he is your father. And Buffy's. I'm more like...like..."
"A generic material providing favorite uncle?" The male voice revealed itself to be the very famous fave of Tony Stark. "Which, wow, that sounds really wrong. Didn't know you had it in you, Bruce."
"I do not..." breaking off with a strangled sound (or an I-want-to-strange-you sound), Bruce turned back to Buffy and Dawn. "Just...just ignore him. For the sake of our sanity and the market value of this building."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Not a problem.
"But seriously, about Dawn, she really is your daughter. Technically speaking."
"Buffy, I remember when your mom was pregnant with Dawn." He hesitated a moment, then said, "Joyce would call me, every now and then, to...reassure me. And I think to reassure herself."
"About what?" Buffy asked, frowning.
Dawn slapped her arm. "Duh! That you weren't going to be replaced by the bio-baby just because you were adopted and I wasn't. Sort of."
"Oh. You know, that never even occurred to me at the time. I think that's why the whole thing with Dad hurt so much. Bruce, you know we're super-cool and all, but--"
"He was your father," Bruce said. "I know. I regretted not being there for you, but mostly I was grateful to Hank and Joyce that they were."
"Enough with this Lifetime movie of the week moment!" Tony snapped from just over Bruce's shoulder. "Explain how Legs, here, Brucie's spawn."
Buffy growled.
"Well that one is definitely yours."
Dawn reached over Bruce to slap Tony upside the head.
"Ow! And that one is related to Natasha."
Bruce rolled his eyes. "Tony."
"What?! Your kids are really violent, you know that?" Frowning and rubbing his head, he looked from Buffy to Dawn. "You ladies get that from your old man?"
Turning puppy eyes on Bruce, Buffy pouted and said, "Can't I break him just a little? Or sic Andrew on him?"
"Not until you explain Dawn. I mean..." Bruce extracted himself from the two young women (forcing Tony to step back in the process) so he could look at them both. "If you're claiming me because Hank is--"
"In Barcelona with his secretary?" Dawn said, eyebrows arched.
"I was going to say 'an idiot', but you are much more--"
"Blunt?" Buffy muttered.
"--accurate," Bruce said, as if Buffy hadn't spoken. "I understand that. And...and I'm really touched." He studied them for a moment when neither Buffy nor Dawn answered. His eyes narrowed. "But that's not it is it."
"Um..." Buffy looked at Dawn.
"Uh..." Dawn looked at Buffy.
"Girls..."
"It's magic?" Buffy and Dawn said together.
Bruce blinked at them. "Magic."
"Yeah," Buffy said, drawing the word out. "I know that's a four-letter word for you, Dr. Science, even though it's really five letters, but, yeah. Magic. See, Dawn isn't really...real. She's kinda a green ball of mystical energy?"
One of Bruce's eyebrows went up and his hand were crossed over his chest. "Go on."
"And as a ball of mystical energy she's able to do really impressive mystical stuff like open portals to hell dimensions and to keep her -- well 'it' before she had a body -- safe from the assorted demons, hell-gods and nasty magic workers a bunch of mystical energy monks kinda used me as a template for her human body, and by template I mean, like, my body?"
"Does she breathe?" Tony muttered, though everyone ignored him.
"Buffy, I know I haven't been exactly consistent with my presence in your life but--"
"I'm telling you the truth."
"She is!" Dawn threw in, less than helpfully.
"Which I realize is really hard to believe because...because..." Buffy gnawed on her lower lip for a moment. Then she sighed, resigned with herself. "Because I've kinda been lying to you since I was fifteen. I mean, not, like, active lying or anything, but, like, not telling you everything lying."
Bruce's face crumpled. "I know about the psych ward," he said softly, reaching for her. "Hank didn't want me to know but Joyce told me."
"I always wondered if you knew," she said almost to herself. "But, no!" Buffy shook herself. "Not that. See, I'm..." Her eyes tracked on Tony for a minute, studying him until he began to squirm. Then she seemed to come to a decision. Resolution written on her face, she said, "I'm the Vampire Slayer."
"You're what?" Bruce and Tony said simultaneously.
Buffy gently uncrossed Bruce's arms. "C'mon. I'll explain," she said as she steered him towards the living room she'd briefly spied as the elevator doors had opened.
"What do we do about Talking Tony, here?" Dawn asked as she hung back with the (surely only temporarily) gobsmacked billionaire.
"Bring him with," Buffy said, half turning around. "I mean he already knows about Bio-Dad's little green problem, right? And I did kinda spill the beans about you being, y’know, a ball of light and junk."
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Fine! But I am not cleaning him up if his big sciency brain comes leaking out of his ears.”
Fin[ite]
Notes2: sometime around 11pm last night I just knew, knew I could finish and post in 30mins. By the time 11:30 rolled around I figured I could finish by midnight, but definitely not post. Fast forward to this morning. I have literally added over 1100 words. 1100 words! I don't know whether to be proud of myself or scared.
Author: Vashti (tvashti)
Fandom: The Avengers
Character(s): Buffy, Dawn, Bruce, Tony, Natasha
Rating: PG
Summary: Buffy and Dawn make it to New York.
Length: ~2445 words
Disclaimer: Only the words are mine, and that’s probably up for philosophical debate.
Notes: Post BTVS 5.16 "The Body" and pre-Season 7, post "The Avengers" and pre-everything-else.
One of the several receptionists had already made eye-contact with Buffy and Dawn by the time they were halfway to the truly massive helpdesk. "Good morning!" the perky brunette said with a smile. "How can I help you?"
"We're looking for our father."
The receptionist, 'Becky' according to her nametag, immediately turned her eyes to the computer in front of her. "I can definitely help you with that. Do you know what department he works for?"
"Uh..." Buffy glanced at Dawn who shrugged. "Is there a department for semi-regularly turning parts of New York City into rubble?"
Becky frowned at her computer screen. Then, as her brain actually caught up with Buffy's words, she looked up and shook her head. "I'm sorry. Are you saying that your father is a scientist?"
"He is," Dawn said over Buffy's shoulder. "He is definitely a scientist."
"As much as I hate to agree with my sister, our dad? Walking science."
Brightening, Becky said, "Okay! What's his name?"
"Um..." Buffy glanced back at Dawn again. Who shrugged again. "What've we got to lose," she told Buffy, sotto voce.
Squaring her shoulders, Buffy looked Becky in the eye and said, "Our dad is Dr. Bruce Banner. Please tell him Buffy and Dawn are here to see him."
***
"Oh good, Bruce! You're here!" Tony said with the kind of light in his eye usually reserved for the birth of a new mechanical toy.
Bruce looked up and over the back of the sofa he was on, caught a glimpse of Tony's unholy glee and tried to sink into the furniture. "Whatever it is, Tony, I don't want to know."
"But you're gonna love this!"
"Tony..."
"Bru-uce..."
"Tony," Natasha said as she made her way down the ramp that led to the upper level of the great room, "are you whining?"
Pressing a hand to his arc reactor, Tony affected outrage. "I would never."
Bruce and Natasha snorted. She went into the kitchen and he returned to the article he'd been reading on his borrowed tablet.
Tony stuck his tongue out at Natasha, who, unerringly, made an even ruder gesture even though there was no way she could have seen him from behind the door of the monstrously large stainless steel refrigerator door.
"JARVIS, are you siding with the spysassin again?"
"I would never, sir," was the AI's exceedingly dry response.
"Do I detect a note of sarcasm?" Tony asked as he continued his journey to Bruce's not-so-hiding place.
"I am a creature of Sir's making."
Smirking, Bruce looked up from his article. "Doesn't that scare you?"
"Me? Scared of a product of my own rather impressive intellect?" Tony scoffed.
"Yeeeah. I don't see that coming back to haunt us anytime soon," Bruce muttered as he, once again, sank into his seat. "No offense, JARVIS."
"None taken, sir."
Tony snatched the tablet from Bruce's hand. "Hey!"
"Hey yourself," Tony said. "I came here with choice news to share. And I refuse to be distracted." At the snort from the kitchen, he added, "This time."
He shoved a different tablet in Bruce's hands. "Take a look at this."
Bruce sighed heavily, but watched the screen. "Are you really watching guests get snippy with the poor people at the Help Desk, now?" He half turned in his seat to look Tony in the eye. "You need to get some sleep."
"You may be right about the sleep. Maybe. BUT! This is more than just annoying guests at the Help Desk.
"JARVIS, project the image and turn up the volume"
"Yes, sir."
Soon the space in front of the entertainment area was full of a larger-than-life version of what was going on in the downstairs lobby. Bruce's sucked in breath was almost drowned out by the three women arguing.
"Okay, you're right," Tony said conversationally near Bruce's ear, "the short one is pretty hot but--" Tony cut himself off. Bruce's cheek had flushed red then a mottled green.
"Uh...what'd I say?"
Bruce shot up from his seat. "That's my daughter you're ogling."
"You mean she's not making up the world's worst lie?
"Ow!" Tony turned to see who, or what, had hit him in the back of the head, only to catch a glimpse of Natasha's short red hair pass behind him.
"Thank you, Nat," Bruce said.
"Any time, Doc. So you gonna go see about your kid and her friend--"
"Little sister, not mine."
"--now or after Becky with the good hair puts your blood pressure in the green?"
Bruce nodded. "Good point." He climbed over the back of the sofa sending Tony's eyebrows to his hairline. "JARVIS, make sure no one kicks them out or anything," he said as he sprinted from the room.
"Of course, sir."
Tony shook his head. "I don't think I've ever seen him so...like that..."
The hummus covered pretzel in Natasha's hand paused on the way to her mouth as she smirked at the wonder on Tony's face. "What would you do if someone was keeping your kid from seeing you?"
He turned to look at her. "Do you mean before or after I shot myself?"
She snorted. "Sometimes you don't know what you want until you have it and can't keep it." The pretzel went into her mouth and she left the room.
Steve caught her before she could pass out of the great room. "I just saw Bruce run out of here like a lab was on fire. Any idea what's going on?"
Gesturing over her shoulder to Tony, frowning at the lobby still on display, she told him to ask the "genius billionaire fraidy pants."
"I heard that!"
***
Buffy and Dawn watched the numbers on the elevator display climb ever higher. "Would you relax," Dawn said.
"I'll relax when I see him," was Buffy's terse reply.
"Hey...he's nearly indestructible when he's big and green and angry."
"Only on the outside."
"Yeah, it's not as if we don't know where you get it from," Dawn said. She scooted close enough to rest her chin on Buffy's shoulder for a moment, but only a moment, lest they appear to have too much sisterly affection. They had a reputation to maintain, after all.
Buffy had been ready to blow a major gasket, worthy of a Slayer who had grown up a privileged Valley Girl princess, down there with Becky the receptionist. She hadn't taken no for an answer since she was in diapers. Becky was not going to be the first. She'd faced down hell-gods and won. That she'd died in the process was so not the point. The point? No way Becky was keeping her and Dawn from Bruce, even if they'd had to take the long way around.
Then, like magic (which she'd have to check on with Wills), Becks had gotten a call at her station right before Buffy had to decide if putting her fist through the reception desk was worth the hassle of dealing with human security forces if it for her bio-dad on the scene. As stiff as the sharp creased in her dress-shirt, Becky had hung up the phone and looked up at the bristling sisters. "At the second bank of elevators, take the one that lights up when you approach."
"Why?" Dawn asked, only a hair less peeved than Buffy. "Will security be waiting to escort us to sub-basement 3 for interrogation?"
"It will take you directly to the penthouse."
"Oh," Buffy and Dawn said together. No less stiff than the receptionist, Buffy tacked on a barely polite "Thank you" before leading her sister away.
"And your hair sucks!" Dawn had called over her shoulder. Which had prompted Buffy to push her sister toward the elevators.
Now they were watching fancy elevator numbers together.
"Y'know," Dawn said thoughtfully, "I'm surprised she didn't try to accuse you of being Stark's kid. Dude gets around."
Buffy shrugged. "Maybe they don't get as much baby daddy drama now that he's a one-woman man. Have you seen that woman walk in a pair of stilettos?"
"I'd be too scared to cheat on a woman wielding those things."
"Penthouse," the cultured British elevator voice said, breaking into their conversation. It had greeted them when they stepped onto the elevator, prompting Dawn to pet the wood-paneled interior and declare that she could get used to this.
"Thanks, Elevator Voice Guy," Buffy said as they slowed.
"My pleasure, Miss. My name, however, is Jarvis."
Buffy and Dawn shared a look. Dawn leaned in close. "I think the elevator guy is hitting on you," she said as the doors slid open.
"Who's hitting on my kid?" Bruce said from the other side.
"Bruce!" Buffy launched herself at her bio-dad. Who caught her easily.
"Or should I call you 'Big Daddy'," Buffy said, affecting her worst Southern accent.
Bruce grimaced. "Please don't."
"I'd love it if you call him Big Poppa," a male voice said, followed promptly by "Ow! Where did you even chime from?"
"Thanks, Natasha," Bruce called over his shoulder.
"Anytime, Doc," a woman answered.
Dawn, who had come bouncing out behind Buffy, raised her eyebrows. "Lady friend, Bruce? And you didn't tell us? Tsk, tsk. This goes against the Sixth Grade Accords."
Bruce smiled and reached for her. "Hey Dawnie. Are you girls alright?" he asked once he'd ended both of them in his arms.
"Us?" Buffy said. "It's you we're worried about."
"Is that why you're here?"
Dawn nodded. "That and to spill the beans that you're my dad, too."
Sadness clouded Bruce's face. "Dawnie, I know your father hasn't been...ideal, but he is your father. And Buffy's. I'm more like...like..."
"A generic material providing favorite uncle?" The male voice revealed itself to be the very famous fave of Tony Stark. "Which, wow, that sounds really wrong. Didn't know you had it in you, Bruce."
"I do not..." breaking off with a strangled sound (or an I-want-to-strange-you sound), Bruce turned back to Buffy and Dawn. "Just...just ignore him. For the sake of our sanity and the market value of this building."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Not a problem.
"But seriously, about Dawn, she really is your daughter. Technically speaking."
"Buffy, I remember when your mom was pregnant with Dawn." He hesitated a moment, then said, "Joyce would call me, every now and then, to...reassure me. And I think to reassure herself."
"About what?" Buffy asked, frowning.
Dawn slapped her arm. "Duh! That you weren't going to be replaced by the bio-baby just because you were adopted and I wasn't. Sort of."
"Oh. You know, that never even occurred to me at the time. I think that's why the whole thing with Dad hurt so much. Bruce, you know we're super-cool and all, but--"
"He was your father," Bruce said. "I know. I regretted not being there for you, but mostly I was grateful to Hank and Joyce that they were."
"Enough with this Lifetime movie of the week moment!" Tony snapped from just over Bruce's shoulder. "Explain how Legs, here, Brucie's spawn."
Buffy growled.
"Well that one is definitely yours."
Dawn reached over Bruce to slap Tony upside the head.
"Ow! And that one is related to Natasha."
Bruce rolled his eyes. "Tony."
"What?! Your kids are really violent, you know that?" Frowning and rubbing his head, he looked from Buffy to Dawn. "You ladies get that from your old man?"
Turning puppy eyes on Bruce, Buffy pouted and said, "Can't I break him just a little? Or sic Andrew on him?"
"Not until you explain Dawn. I mean..." Bruce extracted himself from the two young women (forcing Tony to step back in the process) so he could look at them both. "If you're claiming me because Hank is--"
"In Barcelona with his secretary?" Dawn said, eyebrows arched.
"I was going to say 'an idiot', but you are much more--"
"Blunt?" Buffy muttered.
"--accurate," Bruce said, as if Buffy hadn't spoken. "I understand that. And...and I'm really touched." He studied them for a moment when neither Buffy nor Dawn answered. His eyes narrowed. "But that's not it is it."
"Um..." Buffy looked at Dawn.
"Uh..." Dawn looked at Buffy.
"Girls..."
"It's magic?" Buffy and Dawn said together.
Bruce blinked at them. "Magic."
"Yeah," Buffy said, drawing the word out. "I know that's a four-letter word for you, Dr. Science, even though it's really five letters, but, yeah. Magic. See, Dawn isn't really...real. She's kinda a green ball of mystical energy?"
One of Bruce's eyebrows went up and his hand were crossed over his chest. "Go on."
"And as a ball of mystical energy she's able to do really impressive mystical stuff like open portals to hell dimensions and to keep her -- well 'it' before she had a body -- safe from the assorted demons, hell-gods and nasty magic workers a bunch of mystical energy monks kinda used me as a template for her human body, and by template I mean, like, my body?"
"Does she breathe?" Tony muttered, though everyone ignored him.
"Buffy, I know I haven't been exactly consistent with my presence in your life but--"
"I'm telling you the truth."
"She is!" Dawn threw in, less than helpfully.
"Which I realize is really hard to believe because...because..." Buffy gnawed on her lower lip for a moment. Then she sighed, resigned with herself. "Because I've kinda been lying to you since I was fifteen. I mean, not, like, active lying or anything, but, like, not telling you everything lying."
Bruce's face crumpled. "I know about the psych ward," he said softly, reaching for her. "Hank didn't want me to know but Joyce told me."
"I always wondered if you knew," she said almost to herself. "But, no!" Buffy shook herself. "Not that. See, I'm..." Her eyes tracked on Tony for a minute, studying him until he began to squirm. Then she seemed to come to a decision. Resolution written on her face, she said, "I'm the Vampire Slayer."
"You're what?" Bruce and Tony said simultaneously.
Buffy gently uncrossed Bruce's arms. "C'mon. I'll explain," she said as she steered him towards the living room she'd briefly spied as the elevator doors had opened.
"What do we do about Talking Tony, here?" Dawn asked as she hung back with the (surely only temporarily) gobsmacked billionaire.
"Bring him with," Buffy said, half turning around. "I mean he already knows about Bio-Dad's little green problem, right? And I did kinda spill the beans about you being, y’know, a ball of light and junk."
Dawn rolled her eyes. “Fine! But I am not cleaning him up if his big sciency brain comes leaking out of his ears.”
Fin[ite]
Notes2: sometime around 11pm last night I just knew, knew I could finish and post in 30mins. By the time 11:30 rolled around I figured I could finish by midnight, but definitely not post. Fast forward to this morning. I have literally added over 1100 words. 1100 words! I don't know whether to be proud of myself or scared.