Day 18: The Emasculation of Xander Harris by Laney
Title: The Emasculation of Xander Harris
Author: laney_1974
Crossover: BTVS/Avengers (movie 'verse)
August Fic-a-day Challenge Contribution Date: 18 August 2015
Characters: Xander Harris, mentions of the Avengers.
Word Count: 413
Rating: 15
Timeline: BTVS: Post Season 7. Avengers: Age of Ultron (very vague ones at that)
Author's note: This has probably been done before, but it got stuck in my head while I was on the bus so I had to write it. 've never read the comics, so it's movie 'verse all the way.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Buffy and Angel people belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. I do not own Avengers, Marvel do.
Summary: It was really quite emasculating how the girls treated him sometimes.
“No. No. Not happening.”
Xander sighed. It was really quite emasculating how the girls treated him sometimes. Anyone would think that he would be used to it, especially after being friends with Willow and Buffy for over a decade. But no, he wasn't used to it, particularly when it appeared they trained the slayers to fill in for them when they weren’t here.
He was touched, really he was, that the slayers loved him as much as they did, that they would go to such effort to keep him safe, but it was what they were trying to keep him safe from that was emasculating.
Seriously, his luck had improved over the years. By the way they were acting you would think it hadn't.
“Guys, I'm sure that's not why she's here.”
Roma shook her head. “No way, Xan. Sorry, but I'm not taking that chance. Buffy and Willow would kill us. If I had to choose between a face-off with her and her buddies and a face-off with Buffy and Willow, I would choose her and her buddies over Buffy and Will any day. Those two are downright terrifying when it comes to you.”
Xander looked over to ‘her’, the woman responsible for this latest edition of The Emasculation of Xander Harris.
She wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that she was listening to their every word... or that she was immensely amused.
“She has a boyfriend, a really scary boyfriend, who would pound me into paste.”
Roma shook her head. “Latest intel is that they broke up, besides you’re a way better catch than the other guy.“
A snort escaped the eavesdropper and Xander shoots her an apologetic smile. Which earned him a smack from one of the slayers.
Ow.
“I'm sorry Ms Romanoff,” Xander began, giving her yet another apologetic smile. “If you or whoever you work for want to talk to me or my people, you'll have to go through official channels.”
Her eyes looked to the slayers who had formed a protective circle around him.
He couldn't help but sigh.
With a far too amused smile, Romanoff gave him a nod and left the restaurant.
He just knew she was going to tell all the Avengers about this.
“I’m sorry Xander, I know you don't like this. But there is no way in hell we’re going to let a hot chick who uses the codename Black Widow anywhere near you.”
End
Author: laney_1974
Crossover: BTVS/Avengers (movie 'verse)
August Fic-a-day Challenge Contribution Date: 18 August 2015
Characters: Xander Harris, mentions of the Avengers.
Word Count: 413
Rating: 15
Timeline: BTVS: Post Season 7. Avengers: Age of Ultron (very vague ones at that)
Author's note: This has probably been done before, but it got stuck in my head while I was on the bus so I had to write it. 've never read the comics, so it's movie 'verse all the way.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Buffy and Angel people belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. I do not own Avengers, Marvel do.
Summary: It was really quite emasculating how the girls treated him sometimes.
“No. No. Not happening.”
Xander sighed. It was really quite emasculating how the girls treated him sometimes. Anyone would think that he would be used to it, especially after being friends with Willow and Buffy for over a decade. But no, he wasn't used to it, particularly when it appeared they trained the slayers to fill in for them when they weren’t here.
He was touched, really he was, that the slayers loved him as much as they did, that they would go to such effort to keep him safe, but it was what they were trying to keep him safe from that was emasculating.
Seriously, his luck had improved over the years. By the way they were acting you would think it hadn't.
“Guys, I'm sure that's not why she's here.”
Roma shook her head. “No way, Xan. Sorry, but I'm not taking that chance. Buffy and Willow would kill us. If I had to choose between a face-off with her and her buddies and a face-off with Buffy and Willow, I would choose her and her buddies over Buffy and Will any day. Those two are downright terrifying when it comes to you.”
Xander looked over to ‘her’, the woman responsible for this latest edition of The Emasculation of Xander Harris.
She wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that she was listening to their every word... or that she was immensely amused.
“She has a boyfriend, a really scary boyfriend, who would pound me into paste.”
Roma shook her head. “Latest intel is that they broke up, besides you’re a way better catch than the other guy.“
A snort escaped the eavesdropper and Xander shoots her an apologetic smile. Which earned him a smack from one of the slayers.
Ow.
“I'm sorry Ms Romanoff,” Xander began, giving her yet another apologetic smile. “If you or whoever you work for want to talk to me or my people, you'll have to go through official channels.”
Her eyes looked to the slayers who had formed a protective circle around him.
He couldn't help but sigh.
With a far too amused smile, Romanoff gave him a nod and left the restaurant.
He just knew she was going to tell all the Avengers about this.
“I’m sorry Xander, I know you don't like this. But there is no way in hell we’re going to let a hot chick who uses the codename Black Widow anywhere near you.”
End