This is Pittsburgh?
Title: This Is Pittsburgh?
Author: nightshift1116
Rating: PG-13
Crossover: Buffy/Wen Spencer's Elfhome series
Description: Buffy is having dating troubles and accidentally says the "w-word". She ends up in the future, alone, on another world, and somewhat...changed.
Official Disclaimer. I own neither BTVS nor the Elfhome series of books. Those are from the wonderfully warped minds of Joss Whedon and Wen Spencer. I am writing this for my own amusement and the entertainment of others. No profit is being made.
As Buffy left to go clean up after her last disaster of a blind date, she wondered if she would be better off alone. This one had been going fairly well after the awkward ‘what can I tell him about me’ stage. She’d been trying slow disclosure and thought she’d mention what she dealt with on an everyday basis by about the fourth or fifth date. Stupid explody purple goo demons. Couldn’t even wait until she got to the end of dinner. She wasn’t hungry anymore though-the gunk smelled horrible and was all over her clothes and in her hair. As she left, thinking about showers, dry cleaning bills, and snotty maître d’s she mumbled the one thing she’d never planned on saying aloud. “I just wish I could meet a guy who knows about magic, who isn’t afraid of a woman who knows how to fight, and there were no demons there so we could grow old together.”
She froze in horror as she heard “wish granted.” She whipped around, trying to locate the source of the voice, but stumbled as she found herself in a field at what seemed to be a Renaissance Faire. There were people everywhere, most speaking English, but a lot speaking other languages that Buffy didn’t recognize. Ohhh, Mandarin-she didn’t know much, but she did try to learn a little from Cho-Ahn. It was warmer than Scotland if it was the same time of year, but definitely colder than California. Not much help there. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself, so rather than ask she looked around for any clues she could find. Okay, notices were posted in English and some other…weird language. She noticed a ripple in the crowd and saw a matched group of tall gorgeous guys all wearing red armor and carrying wooden swords. Oh weird, they were all wearing elf ears. Convention maybe? Andrew had squeed for days over some convention he was going to where there were going to be real live actors there in their official movie makeup. She had seen most of the convention-type movies since Andrew and Xander usually picked up the movies for movie night, but couldn’t place their costumes. She tried to fade into the crowd but almost backed into another matched group in blue. She tried to duck away, but they surrounded her.
Buffy stood there, wide-eyed as the guy in charge started asking her questions in some language she didn’t know. “Um, I don’t speak that language. Do you know English?”
He knelt down in front of her, “child, what has happened? Are you injured?” Crap, she was still gooey, stinky, and purple.
She bristled. She was short, yeah, but not THAT short. “I need a shower and to burn these clothes, but I’m fine. And I am not a child, I’m just not freakishly tall like some people.”
“Do you have your majority?”
“My…Oh, yeah. I’m old enough to drink and drive,” she breezed back.
“Are you in your triples?” he queried patiently.
“Am I into triplets? What kind of freaky come-on is that?” Well, that would explain the matched sets of guys. She turned to stomp away, but by now the red-armored elf-wannabes had surrounded her too. She didn’t want to get thrown in jail in a strange place and these guys were probably security so she stopped instead of fighting to get away. “Okay, take me to your leader or the station or whatever. As long as I can get a shower and some clean clothes. Preferably BEFORE you question me-this goo is only getting gooier and the smell isn’t too wonderful either.”
“Bathing and clothing will be arranged. Might I have the knowledge of your name?”
“Oh, sorry. I’m Buffy. Buffy Summers. And you are?” Several of the blue and the red group were talking in their weird language again, definitely about her because they kept staring as they were talking. Buffy wasn’t THAT weird a name, geez.
“I am Wolf Who Rules Wind, in the short form I am called Windwolf.” The red leader-looking guy was talking fast in that other language and Windwolf was answering calmly. Then the whole red team spun around and left. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she didn’t think red guy liked her much. This guy seemed nice enough, aside from the geeky ears and the slightly superior attitude. Plus, clothes and cleanliness. She followed him-getting a little creeped out by the rest of the entourage. They were really into the bodyguard acting and refused to acknowledge her at all. She followed Windwolf, having no other options.
Author: nightshift1116
Rating: PG-13
Crossover: Buffy/Wen Spencer's Elfhome series
Description: Buffy is having dating troubles and accidentally says the "w-word". She ends up in the future, alone, on another world, and somewhat...changed.
Official Disclaimer. I own neither BTVS nor the Elfhome series of books. Those are from the wonderfully warped minds of Joss Whedon and Wen Spencer. I am writing this for my own amusement and the entertainment of others. No profit is being made.
As Buffy left to go clean up after her last disaster of a blind date, she wondered if she would be better off alone. This one had been going fairly well after the awkward ‘what can I tell him about me’ stage. She’d been trying slow disclosure and thought she’d mention what she dealt with on an everyday basis by about the fourth or fifth date. Stupid explody purple goo demons. Couldn’t even wait until she got to the end of dinner. She wasn’t hungry anymore though-the gunk smelled horrible and was all over her clothes and in her hair. As she left, thinking about showers, dry cleaning bills, and snotty maître d’s she mumbled the one thing she’d never planned on saying aloud. “I just wish I could meet a guy who knows about magic, who isn’t afraid of a woman who knows how to fight, and there were no demons there so we could grow old together.”
She froze in horror as she heard “wish granted.” She whipped around, trying to locate the source of the voice, but stumbled as she found herself in a field at what seemed to be a Renaissance Faire. There were people everywhere, most speaking English, but a lot speaking other languages that Buffy didn’t recognize. Ohhh, Mandarin-she didn’t know much, but she did try to learn a little from Cho-Ahn. It was warmer than Scotland if it was the same time of year, but definitely colder than California. Not much help there. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself, so rather than ask she looked around for any clues she could find. Okay, notices were posted in English and some other…weird language. She noticed a ripple in the crowd and saw a matched group of tall gorgeous guys all wearing red armor and carrying wooden swords. Oh weird, they were all wearing elf ears. Convention maybe? Andrew had squeed for days over some convention he was going to where there were going to be real live actors there in their official movie makeup. She had seen most of the convention-type movies since Andrew and Xander usually picked up the movies for movie night, but couldn’t place their costumes. She tried to fade into the crowd but almost backed into another matched group in blue. She tried to duck away, but they surrounded her.
Buffy stood there, wide-eyed as the guy in charge started asking her questions in some language she didn’t know. “Um, I don’t speak that language. Do you know English?”
He knelt down in front of her, “child, what has happened? Are you injured?” Crap, she was still gooey, stinky, and purple.
She bristled. She was short, yeah, but not THAT short. “I need a shower and to burn these clothes, but I’m fine. And I am not a child, I’m just not freakishly tall like some people.”
“Do you have your majority?”
“My…Oh, yeah. I’m old enough to drink and drive,” she breezed back.
“Are you in your triples?” he queried patiently.
“Am I into triplets? What kind of freaky come-on is that?” Well, that would explain the matched sets of guys. She turned to stomp away, but by now the red-armored elf-wannabes had surrounded her too. She didn’t want to get thrown in jail in a strange place and these guys were probably security so she stopped instead of fighting to get away. “Okay, take me to your leader or the station or whatever. As long as I can get a shower and some clean clothes. Preferably BEFORE you question me-this goo is only getting gooier and the smell isn’t too wonderful either.”
“Bathing and clothing will be arranged. Might I have the knowledge of your name?”
“Oh, sorry. I’m Buffy. Buffy Summers. And you are?” Several of the blue and the red group were talking in their weird language again, definitely about her because they kept staring as they were talking. Buffy wasn’t THAT weird a name, geez.
“I am Wolf Who Rules Wind, in the short form I am called Windwolf.” The red leader-looking guy was talking fast in that other language and Windwolf was answering calmly. Then the whole red team spun around and left. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she didn’t think red guy liked her much. This guy seemed nice enough, aside from the geeky ears and the slightly superior attitude. Plus, clothes and cleanliness. She followed him-getting a little creeped out by the rest of the entourage. They were really into the bodyguard acting and refused to acknowledge her at all. She followed Windwolf, having no other options.