The Pitch
Title: The Pitch
Author: Grundy (jerseyfabulous)
Rating: FR13
Crossover: Avengers (movie- I make no claims to mastery of the comic book canon)
Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss, the Avengers belong to Marvel. No money is being made here, it's all in good fun.
Summary: Tony tries to sell Buffy on a blind date.
Word Count: 730
Author's Note: Companion fic to The Setup
Buffy heard him coming. She’d never let slip that she actually preferred it when he wore the suit- with Slayer hearing, she invariably heard the sound of his approach well before she saw him. She did wonder why he was here, though. She thought she’d made herself pretty clear last time.
“What up, Blondie?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, that’s the best you could come up with? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius.”
“I am. I’m also very attached to my ribcage, so I figured it would be better to stick to something you can’t object to.”
“Uh-huh. Moving on, what brings Iron Man to my humble training room?”
“Not Iron Man, just me.”
To emphasize that he really did mean it, Tony popped up the visor so his face showed.
“See? Me.”
“Funny, looks like Iron Man. Smells like Iron Man. Sounds-“
“Iron Man does not smell!”
Buffy smirked. Score, Buffy 1, Tony Stark 0.
“I came to inquire whether you were still single.”
Buffy frowned and Tony double checked that he was still out of limb-removal distance.
“I had Jarvis replay the recording from last time before I came over, just to be sure I wasn’t risking body parts unnecessarily. You said if I asked you to go out with me one more time you were going to break my arms and tie them into a pretzel. Before you commence with the violence, I should point out that I am not currently single, and Pepper would probably ask you to rip all my limbs off if she thought I was asking other people out on my own behalf.”
Buffy crossed her arms.
“And yet here you are asking if I’m single.”
“For a friend,” Tony clarified. “I think you’d like him. Very polite, old-fashioned kind of guy. Oh, and bonus points, he’s got this super strength thing going, so you wouldn’t have to worry about breaking him accidentally. He’s also not going to be fazed by vampires.”
Buffy’s expression defrosted several degrees, and Tony did his best not to smirk. He knew damn well the Hawk and Banner had a bet going on how badly his talk with Buffy would go. (He’d had Natasha place a bet for him, winnings to be split 50-50. He was so going to win- and enjoy the other guys faces when they realized what had happened. Sadly, Natasha was too controlled to gloat, so Tony would have to gloat for both of them.)
“Who’s the guy? Tell me you’re not setting me up with Dr. Banner. Because I am so not able to keep up with a world class scientist.”
Tony snorted.
“Please. Give yourself some credit. You’re a lot smarter than that dumb blonde act you milk for all it’s worth. But no, not Bruce. You’d eat the poor man alive. Anyway, he’s only super strength when he’s big and green, and I don’t think big and green is really your style.”
Buffy was clearly considering it.
“One date,” Tony said, with an air of not quite pleading. “If it doesn’t go well, you can throw things at me and I promise I’ll never mention it again.”
He could see her wavering- it was almost unfair, really.
“Fine. One date. With this friend who is most definitely not Tony Stark.”
“Excellent. Since I know you would never trust me to make reservations for you, Pepper will pick the restaurant.”
“Pepper knows about this?” Buffy asked, a good deal less worried if Pepper Potts had given it her seal of approval.
“She doesn’t know I’m here asking you right now, but she agreed it was a good idea,” Tony told her cheerfully, aware as he did that Buffy was sold. Whistling a jaunty tune, he popped the visor back in place and turned to go.
“Hey, not Iron Man? Do I get to know the guy’s name?”
“Oh, sorry, did I not mention it? Steve. Steve Rogers.”
He grinned to himself as he took off. Unless she mentioned the name to her kid sister before he could get to Dawn and persuade her not to spill the beans, it was doubtful Buffy would connect ‘Steve Rogers’ with ‘Captain America’- anymore than Steve would connect the sweet little blonde with one of the most lethal demon fighters on the planet. This should be the best blind date ever.
Author: Grundy (jerseyfabulous)
Rating: FR13
Crossover: Avengers (movie- I make no claims to mastery of the comic book canon)
Disclaimer: Buffy belongs to Joss, the Avengers belong to Marvel. No money is being made here, it's all in good fun.
Summary: Tony tries to sell Buffy on a blind date.
Word Count: 730
Author's Note: Companion fic to The Setup
Buffy heard him coming. She’d never let slip that she actually preferred it when he wore the suit- with Slayer hearing, she invariably heard the sound of his approach well before she saw him. She did wonder why he was here, though. She thought she’d made herself pretty clear last time.
“What up, Blondie?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Seriously, that’s the best you could come up with? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius.”
“I am. I’m also very attached to my ribcage, so I figured it would be better to stick to something you can’t object to.”
“Uh-huh. Moving on, what brings Iron Man to my humble training room?”
“Not Iron Man, just me.”
To emphasize that he really did mean it, Tony popped up the visor so his face showed.
“See? Me.”
“Funny, looks like Iron Man. Smells like Iron Man. Sounds-“
“Iron Man does not smell!”
Buffy smirked. Score, Buffy 1, Tony Stark 0.
“I came to inquire whether you were still single.”
Buffy frowned and Tony double checked that he was still out of limb-removal distance.
“I had Jarvis replay the recording from last time before I came over, just to be sure I wasn’t risking body parts unnecessarily. You said if I asked you to go out with me one more time you were going to break my arms and tie them into a pretzel. Before you commence with the violence, I should point out that I am not currently single, and Pepper would probably ask you to rip all my limbs off if she thought I was asking other people out on my own behalf.”
Buffy crossed her arms.
“And yet here you are asking if I’m single.”
“For a friend,” Tony clarified. “I think you’d like him. Very polite, old-fashioned kind of guy. Oh, and bonus points, he’s got this super strength thing going, so you wouldn’t have to worry about breaking him accidentally. He’s also not going to be fazed by vampires.”
Buffy’s expression defrosted several degrees, and Tony did his best not to smirk. He knew damn well the Hawk and Banner had a bet going on how badly his talk with Buffy would go. (He’d had Natasha place a bet for him, winnings to be split 50-50. He was so going to win- and enjoy the other guys faces when they realized what had happened. Sadly, Natasha was too controlled to gloat, so Tony would have to gloat for both of them.)
“Who’s the guy? Tell me you’re not setting me up with Dr. Banner. Because I am so not able to keep up with a world class scientist.”
Tony snorted.
“Please. Give yourself some credit. You’re a lot smarter than that dumb blonde act you milk for all it’s worth. But no, not Bruce. You’d eat the poor man alive. Anyway, he’s only super strength when he’s big and green, and I don’t think big and green is really your style.”
Buffy was clearly considering it.
“One date,” Tony said, with an air of not quite pleading. “If it doesn’t go well, you can throw things at me and I promise I’ll never mention it again.”
He could see her wavering- it was almost unfair, really.
“Fine. One date. With this friend who is most definitely not Tony Stark.”
“Excellent. Since I know you would never trust me to make reservations for you, Pepper will pick the restaurant.”
“Pepper knows about this?” Buffy asked, a good deal less worried if Pepper Potts had given it her seal of approval.
“She doesn’t know I’m here asking you right now, but she agreed it was a good idea,” Tony told her cheerfully, aware as he did that Buffy was sold. Whistling a jaunty tune, he popped the visor back in place and turned to go.
“Hey, not Iron Man? Do I get to know the guy’s name?”
“Oh, sorry, did I not mention it? Steve. Steve Rogers.”
He grinned to himself as he took off. Unless she mentioned the name to her kid sister before he could get to Dawn and persuade her not to spill the beans, it was doubtful Buffy would connect ‘Steve Rogers’ with ‘Captain America’- anymore than Steve would connect the sweet little blonde with one of the most lethal demon fighters on the planet. This should be the best blind date ever.