Al'ek'sander, the Great Demon Warrior
Title: Al'ek'sander, the Great Demon Warrior
Author: Wyndewalker
Xover Fandom: Captain America (Movie 'verse)
Series:
Summary : Or, why crackpots shouldn't be allowed near mojo.
Challenge: twistedshorts August-Fic-A-Day
Authors note: The bunny for this came from a post by LadyFoxFire on Vo's Imaginings list.
Rating: R for some bad language and minor gun violence.
Word Count: 1,520 according to Word
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Captain America or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. All rights belong to their owners and I merely borrow the characters for your amusement.
In the three years since Sunnydale had turned into a big ass hole in the ground Xander felt he’d grown as a person. He’d traveled the length and breadth of Africa more than once in those three years searching out new Slayers, dealing with demonic and some not-so demonic threats, and generally learning that the world wasn’t all black or white, good or evil. There was a whole lot of gray in the world and things weren’t always what they first appeared to be. Though he would probably always maintain that all vampires were evil. Having a soul didn’t automatically make you a good guy. That was something he’d keep to himself though.
So he was rather proud of himself when, between one step and the next, he found himself transported from the jungle of the Congo to a large rectangular room with arcane symbols on the floor and guys in robes chanting in Latin with bad accents he didn’t immediately draw his gun or his axe. Instead he took a minute to look around since he didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger. Then again with the way these guys were mangling the Latin they were chanting, you never knew what else might show up.
Besides the four robed guys standing at the cardinal points of the circle he had been summoned into it looked like there were ten to twelve other men around the edges of the room. As far as he could tell they were all armed, which if you’re expecting a demon isn’t a bad idea, but they all appeared to be carrying pistols or rifles circa WWII. Not typically much use against a demon.
Xander frowned when one of the guys outside the circle shifted further into the light cast by the candles. The uniforms they were wearing looked familiar and not in a good way. Before he could do anything the large double doors at the far end of the room burst open at the same time that someone decided to turn on the overhead lights. Everyone in the room was blinded for a moment but the guy with the most sparklies on his uniform, and therefore in charge, quickly rallied.
“You are too late, Captain America!” He shouted in English with a thick German accent. “We have completed the ritual. Behold the great Al’ek’sander! The demon warrior who sees all! Surrender now and we might let you live.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation Xander couldn’t help face-palming. This is why crackpots should never be allowed near the mojo.
“You’re demon warrior ain’t all that scary, pal,” a guy with a Brooklyn accent snarked.
“Bucky,” snapped the guy wearing the leather/spandex-y uniform decked out like the American flag. Xander figured it was safe to assume this was Captain America.
“You shall be the first to die!” Major Sparklies announced pompously.
“Oh, shut up,” Xander snapped walking out of the summoning circle and drawing everyone’s attention back to him. He wasn’t thrilled when all the guys he suspected were Nazis huddled up behind him. Then again that might be to his advantage. He pointed at the guy wearing Old Glory. “Allied Forces and Captain America?”
“Yes,” Captain America nodded, carefully watching Xander as he wandered.
Xander turned to the guys who’d summoned him. “Nazis?”
“We are proud followers of the Red Skull,” Major Sparklies announced. “Hail Hydra!”
“Hail Hydra!” The Nazi soldiers echoed. Xander looked askance at Captain America who nodded.
“Nazis,” he agreed.
“Right.” Xander looked at the Allies then at the Nazis. He gestured at a young Nazi soldier near him holding a sub-machine gun. “Can I see that?”
The soldier glanced at Major Sparklies for permission before handing it over. Checking it out, aware that every eye in the room was on him, Xander paced slowly until he was almost center between the opposing forces.
“MP40,” he said as he walked. “Five hundred rounds per minute. Well maintained. You’ve taken good care of it.”
“Danke, Herr Al’ek’sander,” the soldier said puffing up with pride.
Nodding, Xander turned slightly away catching Captain America’s eye, willing him to get the message. A slight widening of those bright blue eyes beneath the mask told him he’d gotten it. In one smooth motion Xander dropped to his knee, bringing the MP40 up to his shoulder and firing.
The Nazis were taken completely by surprise; falling to the ground like puppets with their strings cut. Xander fired until the last one fell then waited until the Allied troops stopped firing before getting back to his feet. It took a moment but he found the young man who’d given him the MP40 and laid it gently on his chest.
“Kuwa na amani. (Be at peace.)” He said softly. Turnign away, he was unsurprised to find the Captain and his men watching him. Xander didn’t care. He was currently more concerned with finding the book or scroll or whatever that held the spell these crackpots had used to bring him here. Hopefully it would have the original along with their translation otherwise he knew he didn’t have a chance in hell of getting home. Considering he’d never heard of Captain America, Red Skull or Hydra, which was just prime comic book material, in any of his history classes, Xander had to assume he was in an alternate reality as well as the wrong time.
“So, I don’t know about anyone else but I always figured a demon would have horns or a tail or something,” the guy with the Brooklyn accent, Bucky, drawled wandering closer to where Xander was sorting through the mojo crap the Nazis had been using. His rifle was held loosely but at the ready in case Xander made a false move. Xander snorted, smirking at Captain America’s hissed admonishments.
“It depends on the species,” Xander replied absently. “There’s plenty that have horns, tails, fur, extra eyes, arms, you name it there’s probably a demon out there that fits the bill. There’s also plenty out there who can easily pass for plain old human too until you start to notice the differences.”
“You’re American,” Bucky blurted out, blinking at him. “We’ve got demons back home?”
“Yep, I’m American. No clue if you’ve got demons or not because I’m ninety percent sure this isn’t my reality. Aha!” Xander held up the leather bound book triumphantly. “Found it. And for the record, I’m not a demon.”
“These men seemed awful sure that you were,” Captain America said coming to stand next to Bucky. “What did you find?”
“The book with the ritual they used,” Xander replied flipping to the page with a couple of loose sheets of paper sticking out. “Of course they thought I was a demon. They were crackpots with the translating skills of a retarded monkey and really bad accents. I’m not mojo guy and even I know that mispronouncing half the words will screw up a spell.”
“Mo-jo?” a man with a British accent asked doubtfully.
“Mojo. Magic. Stinky herbs and chanting in Latin. Something that should not be messed with unless you know what the hell you’re doing. Which these morons did not.” He trailed off muttering under his breath as he tried to translate what was written on the pieces of paper. The book was written in Sumerian which he could recognize about six words of, all relating to demons. The loose pages looked to be in German with a secondary translation in Latin. Xander knew he wasn’t getting all of it, but what he did was enough to make him groan. “Fuck me sideways and twice on Tuesday. Gods be damned crackpots making a frigging Willow oops.”
“Sounds kinky,” Bucky leered earning an aggrieved sigh from Captain America. “What? It does.”
“I’m sorry but could you please explain just what is going on and who are you, mister?” the Captain asked deciding to ignore Bucky’s shenanigans.
Xander sighed getting to his feet and closing the book. “It’s really pretty simple, Cap. When Major Sparkly over there said that you were too late, they’d finished the ritual, he was right. They had finished the ritual. The problem is whoever they had translating things didn’t have a clue what they were doing. On top of a bad translating job they pretty much did a mix and match job with the spells to get the results they thought they wanted. That’s a seriously big no-no with magic. You can’t just cut and paste without consequences. Luckily for you all, and frankly I suspect divine interference which means I will so be kicking PTB ass when I get home, these crackpots managed to screw up in the exact right way to specifically summon me.”
“So you are this Al’ek’sander, demon warrior who sees all,” Bucky said. “You are a demon.”
“No, not a demon,” Xander shook his head. “Not completely homo sapien sapien anymore either but definitely not a demon. This is where their shitty translation job comes in. Let me introduce myself. I’m Alexander Harris, demon hunter, the Slayer’s White Knight and the One Who Sees. My friends call me Xander.”
Finis
I tagged it Avengers but it's really more specific to Captain America. Edit: Crap. I thought I had another minute. This was supposed to be for Aug 22nd. Oh well.