you want to hear my research that proves my mother is bernadette peters?
W: Okay guys, listen up. This is Mr. Ryan, he’s a member of the school board and he would like to say a few words. Uh, I just want you guys to listen critically and know that what he’s saying is just one of many opinions.
B: Take out a piece of paper and on that paper I want you to write down your biggest dream. A dream that means so much you’re afraid to admit it even to yourself.
B: Your dream is never going to happen. Ninety-one perecent of you will spend your entire lives living in Allen County Ohio so unless you wrote down that your dream was to work for a mid-market health insurance provider or find an entry level job in an elderly care facility, you’re going to be very disappointed.
M: This is really depressing.
B: I’m going to guess that a lot of your dreams involve showbiz. Well let me tell you, showbiz dreams are the most unrealistic of them all.
T: But that’s what I wanna do with my life.
B: Oh look, I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. I’m just trying to spare you disappointment.
W: I think we get your point.
B: Ah, Will Schuester here’s a prime example. He used to have that glimmer of hope in his eyes that I can see right now in all of yours. But he couldn’t make it happen for himself so he now has to try and convince you all that it’ll happen for you. Guess what? His dream didn’t work out. And neither will yours.
W: Okay. You’re done here.
B: You would be wise to show me some respect.
W: You’ve said your piece. Now get out.
B: Will Schuester, I should thank you. You’ve made my decision about which program to cut a lot easier.
J: Hi.
R: Hi. How was your Spring break?
J: Good. It’s good to be back.
J: What were you just rehearsing?
R: A guy came to Glee club to talk to us about dreams. Luckily, I’ve known mine since I was four.
R: I’m going to play three parts on Broadway: Evita, Funny Girl and Laurie in Oklahoma. I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It’s what I do when I’m feeling a little stressed.
J: That’s not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true all the hurt would go away. You singing Don’t Cry for Me Argentina in front of a sold-out crowd isn’t a fantasy. It’s an inevitability.
R: I thought you’d never come back.
J: And miss all your drama? Never.
J: So what is it? Your dream?
R: I don’t know.
J: Well, then go inside find it and ask it what it’s gonna take.
R: Why are you pushing this?
J: Because you’re my girlfriend and I wanna know all your secrets.
J: When you lie awake at night what’s missing?
R: My mom.
J: Your mom?
J: You mean like you want to meet her?
R: I just would like to know who she is. I don’t really need to meet her or anything but maybe just find out her name or something about her.
R: It’s silly. It’s not like it’s going to happen or anything.
J: Why?
R: Well, just because my dads never told me anything and I didn’t want to ask them anything cause I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.
J: So let’s check it out without them knowing. Do you know why I came back to school here? To win another national title and make all your dreams come true. If this is one of them then I’m not gonna stop until it happens.
R: I found her.
J: Your mother? Where?
R: In the library. I’ve been researching her all morning and as I suspected my intuition has been proven correct. My mother is Broadway legend Patti Lupone.
R: I’ve always had a deep connection to Miss Lupone. Her choice of roles and songs. I decided to do a little math to see if her being my mother was even possible. I was born December 18th 1994.
R: Ninteen ninty-four was a big year for mother. She was a sensation in Pal Joey. But that was in New York. I was born in Ohio, you say. Well, mother took many breaks from the show to tour with Mandy Patinkin. That April found them at the E. J. Thomas Hall in Akron, Ohio for a standing room performance nine months before I was born.
J: Are you saying that your fathers impregnated Patti Lupone in the Marriott in Akron? Was Mandy Patinkin in on this?
R: All you have to do is look at pictures of her in her performance at Master Class in 1996. Look at the pain in her eyes and the hurt she’s feeling from giving up her obviously talented little girl.
J: One question. What was in it for her?
R: M-money. Uh, a sense of charity for those in need? I guess you’re right. You want to hear my research that proves my mother is Bernadette Peters?
J: Why are you so afraid about finding the truth?
R: I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want to think that my mother’s some teenage trollop like Quinn or worse some skanky girl who’d do anything for money including giving me up.
J: Why does it have to be one of those choices? Maybe she had a really good reason for doing what she did.
J: We need to do a real investigation. Like CSI real. Do you have any baby stuff in your house? Something that might give us a clue?
R: My fathers kept every piece of paper related to my life in files and cabinets in our basement. It’s sort of a little Rachel Berry museum.
J: Perfect. We’ll start there.
J: What took you so long? Your dads’ll be home soon.
R: There was so much stuff in the basement. It’s like a shrine. It’s creepy and flattering at the same time. These boxes had the earliest dates on them so.
R: My baby teeth!
J: Look.
R: Is that me?
J: Looks like you. I think you’re in fifth position.
R: Makes sense. My dad says they used to play Vivaldi into my mother’s belly. Put that there.
R: My first singing competition. I came in first place.
J: You were eight months old.
R: I was very musically verbal.
R: Cute little baby shoes.
J: What’s this? From mother to daughter.
R: Oh my god, she wrote this. She held this in her hand.
R: What-what are you doing?
J: Playing the tape.
R: No!
J: Why not? She wanted you to hear this!
R: I-I-I’m not ready. Look this is all happening too fast! What if she’s singing on the tape? What if she’s terrible? Or worse, what if she’s better than me?
J: I can’t believe we’re so close to your dream coming true and you’re running away from it.
R: No, it’s my choice. It’s-it’s my life and uh, no, I’m not- I’m not ready. Jesse, I think that you should go.
J: She has the tape. She won’t listen to it.
S: What? She has to listen to it. That’s the point of all this.
J: I’m doing my best! Look, when you told me to seduce her-
S: Befriend her was the word I used actually.
J: Whatever. The thing is, I was into it because I thought it would be a good acting exercise but now I think I kinda like her. I don’t want her to get hurt.
S: Look, one more week this will all be done. You can come back to Vocal Adrenaline where you belong.
J: I don’t understand why you don’t just go up to her and say “Hi, my name’s Shelby. I’m your mom.”
S: I signed a contract. I can’t contact her until she’s 18. She has to come to me. That’s why she has to listen to the tape. Once she hears it she won’t be able to sleep until she finds me. I answered an ad in the paper. Nine months work here would make me enough money to live in New York for two years. Her dads seemed like nice guys so I went for it. I never got to hold her. And I only saw her for a second, when they were cleaning her off. It was through a bunch of nurses but she turned her little head and she looked at me. I failed as an actress. My walls are lined with trophies instead of wedding pictures but through all of that I only have one regret. You get her to listen to that tape.
B: Guys, I’ve got good news! I siphoned off funds from the Cheerios and I took a little shopping spree through the Jazz Hands catalog. You know why? Because the arts matter. And I got custom made New Directions jean jackets.
B: And some rad tearaway dance wear. Hello. And every piece of sheet music from every Broadway show for the last fifty years. Everything a show choir needs to become champions.
W: Wow that’s just amazing. Let’s all give a hand to Mr. Ryan.
B: Thank you! Thank you!
S: Congratulations, Will. I am over the moon for you.
W: Thanks, Sue. I’m glad you have a good attitude about your budget being cut.
S: Oh no, I’m not talking about that. I came over here to congratulate you on your new role. Local director Herb Duncan that does the dry clean for the Cheerios, he let slip that you just landed the lead in Les Mis! Congratulations. Ah, I’m ecstatic! And the good news just keeps coming cause you got a part too, Bry. The exciting role of townsperson. You get a line too! Way back here in the second act, you get to say “hooray”. Congratulations, both of you. Really, I can’t wait for opening night.
W: Wait, Bryan.
B: Congratulations, Will. You’re gonna be great in the show.
W: Can we talk about this?
B: There’s nothing to talk about. I’m cutting the program.
R: Jesse, what are you doing here?
J: I said that I was going to help you make your dreams come true.
R: No, I’m not ready!
J: Yes, you are.
S: Hi baby, it’s your mom. I think this pretty much says it all.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by / When hope was high and life worth living / I dreamed that love would never die / I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid / And dreams were made and used and wasted / There was no ransom to be paid / No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night (but the tigers come at night) / With their voices soft as thunder / As they tear your hope apart (as they tear your hope apart) / As they turn your dream to shame
And still I dream she’ll come to me / That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be / And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be / So different from this hell I’m living / So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
W: Alright guys, listen up. Tina has something that she wants to share with all of us but first I have an announcement to make. You’ve all been reprieved. Bryan Ryan isn’t cutting Glee .
P: Did he die?
W: No. He didn’t die. He’s going be distracted for a couple of months making his star turn in Les Mis. He got the lead role.
Q: But I thought you got the lead?
W: I resigned. It was the price for keeping the club.
F: Sorry you had to do that, Mr. Schue.
W: I’m not. The way I see it I’m trading my one dream for the chance that all thirteen of you might find yours. I mean come on, can’t argue with those numbers. So, let’s start with Tina’s dream. Come on up, Tina. I understand that you’ve whipped up a little dance number for us. A breakout that we might use at Regionals.
T: Yes.
W: You got a dance partner?
T: Mike Chang.
Stars shining bright above you / Night breezes seem to whisper, I love you / Birds singin’ in the sycamore trees / Dream a little dream of me / Say nighty-night and kiss me / Just hold me tight and tell me you’ll miss me / While I’m alone and blue as can be / Dream a little dream of me / Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you / Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you / But in your dreams whatever they be / Dream a little dream of me / Dream a little dream of me
I ♥ Rachel Berry