Surviving Sunday, Chapters VI-X

[twinchaosblade]

Disclaimer: Being the property of their respective copyright holders, Stargate: Atlantis, its characters or any other publicly recognizable names don’t belong to me in any way, shape or form. This was written for the sole purpose of entertainment, not monetary gain. No copyright infringement is intended.
~ Me owning Stargate: Atlantis? If only…! Then no one would have to fear for their lives, especially not a certain Scottish doctor, unless for whump’s sake of course…!

Summary:
Different ending for 3.17 ‘Sunday’: lots of Carson whump, team angst/drama, mainly Sheppard and McKay though; happy ending guaranteed!

Chapter VI
“It is good to see you, Carson.” With slow and deliberate movements Teyla approached the bed. She reached out and put one tender hand on Beckett’s right forearm. The doctor opened his heavy lids with obvious effort, but as soon as their eyes locked, Carson’s bright blue eyes beamed with affection and he tried a smile. It must have been an odd grimace, for Teyla’s brow furrowed for a second. She chuckled briefly as understanding dawned on her before the strain on her sutures made her wince. With her free hand she picked up the damp cloth, rinsed it and carefully put it back on the Scot’s fevered forehead. She let her aching body slide down onto the grey visitor’s chair, the movement clearly causing her pain, but her smile was genuine.

“I am happy to finally get the opportunity to thank you for saving my life”, Teyla said with her usual calm voice, every inch of her body displaying an unrivalled strength the CMO had always admired in her. She was a true leader, no less than Elizabeth Weir. Her hand still resting on Carson’s arm, she leaned back and closed her eyes. They shared an intent moment in silence. No words were needed between them, her mere presence and touch giving Beckett strength to keep fighting.

xXxXx
“I can’t believe she beat us to it!” Rodney’s exasperated voice shattered the quiet of the infirmary.

John’s attempt to drag his friend in the direction of the waiting area was met with significant resistance.

“Oh, come on, that was just plainly unfair! Teyla had an illegal advantage.”

“Rodney…” the colonel began.

Unimpressed McKay continued his rant, “How could she do that? We should be the first visitors. We were first, weren’t we? Next time I’ll occupy the bed right next to…”

Rooodneeeey”, Sheppard was beginning to lose his patience. “We have been the first, remember?!”

“But…”

“No buts! Teyla hasn’t seen Carson at all, so don’t grudge her these few minutes. She deserves it. Besides, I’m sure she won’t take too long. After the surgery she’s still weak and won’t be allowed to stay out of bed for more than a while anyway.”

As John let himself sink onto one of the chairs, the infirmary doors slid open to reveal Elizabeth Weir. Her expression was unreadable, even for Sheppard. It was somewhere between fatigue, relief and worry, which she masterfully tried to conceal. She was the leader of the Atlantis expedition, everyone looked up at her, relied on her. Trained by countless nerve-racking negotiations, she was supposed to retain her objectiveness and calm demeanour even in the most difficult situations, be an example. How close she had come to a break-down in these past few days, when she wanted nothing more than to hide away in her quarters and shut out reality, she would never admit.

“Good morning. John, Rodney”, she greeted and came closer. “How is he? Dr Cole just radioed to tell me we could see Carson now.”

“Not so good from what I understand”, John replied simply. “Teyla’s with him.”

“Good.” She nodded in their direction and took off to the intensive care area.

Both men stared after her in utter disbelief. McKay was so flabbergasted that his mouth opened as if to say something but he remained silent and his lips closed again. Instead his eyes narrowed and he started after Elizabeth. Seeing Rodney’s reaction, John darted up in one smooth movement and grabbed the scientist’s shoulder to stop him.

“RODNEY”, Sheppard hissed, his voice barely audible. McKay turned to face the dark-haired man. Whether Elizabeth had heard it as well, John couldn’t tell. With an unnerved glare even Rodney knew better than to challenge, the colonel commanded his friend to take a seat. Face set and arms firmly crossed in front of his chest in a stubborn stance, the astrophysicist sat down ceremoniously, every fibre of his body vibrating with discontent.

xXxXx
Only five minutes later Elizabeth reappeared from the ICU with Teyla in tow. The young Athosian looked exhausted and pale. Weir offered her a shoulder to lean on but she declined as they walked side by side to Teyla’s bed, where she lowered herself into a half sitting position. The two women began to talk softly with each other.

This was the moment Rodney had waited for. Without casting so much as a side glance at Sheppard, he rose from his seat and marched towards the secluded area. Remembering Dr Cole’s earlier words, his pace slowed down with each step nearer towards his injured friend. What would he find behind the curtain? Would Carson be lucid at all? Could he bear the sight of his closest friend on the ventilator? Or would he fail Beckett again? Hands slightly trembling, McKay hesitated, feeling more like running away than going on. An understanding hand settled on his shoulder. He startled and realized it was Sheppard’s. In the colonel’s eyes he could see the same fears that had made him stop. John cast Rodney an encouraging smile. Straightening, the physicist mustered all his strength to feign cheerfulness and entered.

All the cables, tubes and wires looked at least as scary as they had the day before. It was a frightening sight but not nearly as terrifying to behold as seeing Carson lying almost flat on his back, hooked up to a ventilator with a tube sticking out of his mouth. McKay paled visibly and his legs threatened to give way under him as he sluggishly staggered on. Rodney threw a glance at Sheppard, who now stood right next to the head of the bed. ‘If John felt similarly queasy, he does one hell of a job hiding it!’ the scientist reflected.

“Hey buddy, how you’re doing?” Sheppard chimed, uneasiness obvious in his voice.

‘Wow, that was convincing’, McKay thought to himself. Somehow the knowledge of John being equally uncomfortable made him feel better. Boldly he stepped closer and pushed away the colonel, who busied himself with the cloth and the water basin on the night stand anyway. Rodney looked at his friend. The Scot’s eyes were glassy from the fever and his reddened face made them appear bluer than ever, but his face expressed a joy that the astrophysicist hadn’t believed possible. ‘How does he always do this?’ he wondered, gaping down in disbelief. ‘Even if Beckett looked as though he’d fall apart any second, he still managed to produce a heartfelt smile out of nowhere.’

“Hey Carson.” Even Rodney was surprised at the softness of his words. He lightly patted the CMO’s shoulder, then let Sheppard wash the sweat from Beckett’s face before he placed the freshly rinsed cloth on his brow again.

“Better, isn’t it?” John asked, not expecting an answer. “Last night, our super-genius here, had a brilliant idea to storm the infirmary, sort of. But I think it’s best to let the evil plot-weaver tell himself…”, he teased, starting a conversation to push the awkward silence away.

“Yes, yes”, Rodney jumped at the invitation, never missing an opportunity to boast. Carson and John exchanged knowing glances. This was so typical. While Rodney started the account on his unparalleled brilliance and cunning plan to sneak into the intensive care unit and the two men sat back on the empty seats next to the bed, the doctor allowed his eyes to drift shut, enjoying every word the scientist uttered. In spite of his condition or the constant thud of the ventilator, this gave the scene a pleasant pretence of normality.

Twenty minutes later - Rodney hadn’t even reached the point where the colonel and he were actually venturing into the infirmary - Dr Jollet appeared inside the secluded area. He was a bulky man in his mid-thirties with a very stern face. Having arrived only after the expedition had reclaimed their city from the Asurans, he was fairly new on Atlantis.

“Colonel, Doctor”, he greeted, his deep voice rumbling. “Please excuse us for a few minutes.”

Carson’s eyes snapped open instantly and Rodney turned towards the man standing next to the curtain. He looked less than pleased to be rudely interrupted in his lengthy tale.

“Ah, Dr… Dr...”, Rodney looked at the doctor’s nameplate. “Dr Jollet, eager on…”

“It’s pronounced ‘shoyé’, Dr McKay, ‘shoyé’”, the physician briskly cut him short. “I’m French. Not every name that looks familiar can be mistreated to sound remotely like English.”

Sheppard rolled his eyes, as annoying as his attitude was often enough, this time however, he felt sympathy for McKay for a change.

“Okay, Dr ‘not-so-Jolly’, whatever”, the scientist retorted, “If you’re that sensitive about your name, maybe you should have used the phonetic alphabet on your nameplate instead.”

“Maybe it’s just your arrogant American attitude to believe every name in the world is pronounced in your mother tongue.” The doctor’s voice was vibrating with despise.

Rodney got up, ready to give the big-headed Frenchman the tongue-lashing of his life, but John, who had remained quiet so far, grabbed his friend’s arm and manoeuvred him around the now-vacant chairs and out through the curtain.

“We’re just outside if you need us”, the colonel called back.

All the while Carson had followed the argument with great interest and a good deal of amusement. He would have loved to witness the verbal sparring between Jollet and McKay to unfold, though he doubted the physician would have stood the slightest chance against a Rodney McKay in fit state.

“Dr Beckett”, Jollet asked for the Scot’s attention. “I need to change the dressings, and I’m afraid it’s also time for the suction tube.”

The dark-haired man shifted a little in his bed at the prospect of these unpleasant procedures and closed his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to get it over with and have his friends return as soon as possible.

Chapter VII
“What’s this butcher doing with him in there?” Rodney inquired impatiently. “I mean he’s prodding Carson for over half an hour now.”

John didn’t even bother to reply anymore. They hadn’t been expelled from Beckett’s bedside for more than two minutes before the scientist had begun his constant complaints about how much longer it would take.

“Does the guy need another medical degree? He didn’t even let me finish my story; how rude is that?!” he ranted on.

“Rodney, your story was teeth-gritting and magnificently told but I think Carson can deal with the suspense…”, Sheppard remarked dryly.

“Ha ha, very funny, Colonel”, McKay quipped. “But he certainly must come out of there some time.”

“I’m sure he will. Any minute now.”

The words had hardly left Sheppard’s mouth when the curtain was drawn back enough to let the chubby doctor through.

“Fine, gentlemen, please yourselves. But Dr Beckett has just fallen asleep, so let him rest for a while.” Dr Jollet’s voice seemed to have softened a bit. Nothing was left of the offensive manner he had sported before.

“Is everything alright with him?” John was worried.

“For the moment.” With heavy steps he walked on without casting another glance at the two men.

“Talkative fellow”, the physicist offered.

“Yeah.” Sheppard replied and turned on his heels, boots squealing on the ground, then headed towards the curtain.

xXxXx
Carson slept for hours but John and Rodney never left his side. When Ronon showed up to take his turn at the bedside, McKay and Sheppard reluctantly rose to fetch some food. Only then did the two of them realize they hadn’t had anything since their early breakfast.

“I’ll keep an eye on him”, the Satedan whispered as not to disturb the sleeping man.

“We’ll be back soon.” With his fist Sheppard gave Ronon a light pat on the shoulder.

Knowing Ronon kept guard and would immediately inform them if anything should happen, John and Rodney took their time having an extensive dinner in the mess hall. After all, it would be a long night. Before they returned to Beckett, McKay checked in on Radek while Sheppard went to see Elizabeth.

Upon their arrival at the infirmary about an hour later, Teyla had joined Ronon at Carson’s side, and they had a lively conversation. Well, Teyla did most of the talking, and Ronon seemed to add a few things every once in a while. When the young woman spotted the two men, she got up from her seat but Sheppard gestured she needn’t hurry. McKay didn’t look all too happy about this unnecessary delay but strolled after his friend to the waiting area.

A couple of minutes later the Satedan approached them, his features softer than usual. “Beckett woke up several minutes before you came back”, he explained. “The nurse says everything’s okay but he doesn’t look good.”

John was surprised at Ronon’s comment. He knew the Satedan had a soft spot for the gentle doctor with the weird accent ever since Beckett had relieved him from the Wraith tracking device, but he had never shown his concern for any of them so openly. The colonel nodded and made his way over to where their friend waited for them.

As Rodney and he entered, Carson stared expectantly in their direction. Although he had slept for hours, the physician looked worn out and exhausted.

“It’s okay, doc”, Sheppard soothed, “just get some shut-eye. When you wake up and feel better, we’ll be right here.”

The fact that their friend didn’t even evoke the impression of trying to resist before he let his eyes droop, was most unsettling. His unfinished tale long-forgotten, Rodney picked up the cloth with a sigh, put it in the water basin and laid it back on Carson’s forehead, then sat down on the chair beside John.

Eventually, with the beginning of the nightshift, the lights were dimmed and a peaceful quiet claimed the corridors of the infirmary. When the curtain was partially drawn back, Rodney and John broke out of their absentminded state. Dr Gitano gave them his best grandfatherly smile. It was heart-warming to see that his superior had such good friends. He deserved it; and he needed them now of all times. The Columbian doctor checked on the monitors, injected something into the IV port, scribbled a few notes into Beckett’s chart, then cast the two men an intent glare and bade them follow him. McKay’s heart sank and he could sense the colonel’s nervousness as they went after the doctor.

“I am a bit worried”, the physician began. “Dr Beckett’s fever is very high still, even increasing slight, alsough we have administered somesing to let his temperature sink. It seem to have only little effect. It is not life-sreatening so far but we must keep a eye on sis.”

The elderly Columbian left without another word, oblivious of the two men’s baffled faces.

xXxXx
Rodney woke with a start as something hit the back of his head. He realized he had fallen asleep, his forehead resting on his crossed arms on the edge of Carson’s bed. Irritated, he glared over at Sheppard, not knowing why the colonel had slapped him. His confusion grew further when he perceived John softly snoring on the seat beside him. The colonel’s feet, stripped of the boots, were placed casually on the night stand. McKay shook his head in disbelief at the sight when another unexpected punch met his head. He turned, fuming. Seeing who had smacked him, his angry grimace fell at once and all blood left his face. Carson’s features were contorted with pain and terror while his arms were lashing out at invisible enemies.

“Sheppard!” McKay more squeaked than shouted. He was on the verge of panic.

The colonel jumped to his feet, fully alert. It took him less than two seconds to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

“I’ll get the doctor! Try to calm him down”, John yelled on his way out.

Rodney was at a total loss what to do. How was he supposed to calm Beckett down? Suddenly Carson grabbed at the breathing tube. Fortunately it had been taped firmly to the Scot’s face, therefore his desperate attempt at ridding himself of the tube remained unsuccessful. The physicist reacted without hesitation. Disregarding his friend’s wounds, he seized Beckett’s arms and held them down in a steady clasp. He felt the heat of fever radiating even through the bandages. Carson was burning up. Taken aback by the surprising restraints he could not escape, Beckett began thrashing fiercely. McKay knew he should be talking to pacify Carson, but he was unable to produce a sound around the lump in his throat.

It took only seconds for Sheppard to arrive with Dr Cole and three nurses; still, to Rodney it seemed like an eternity. Quickly assessing the monitors, Dr Cole cursed while the nurses immediately took over. McKay stepped back, making room for the medical personnel. Yet, neither the scientist nor the colonel could bring himself to leaving the curtained area as they watched helplessly how the nurses whispered soothingly while holding their friend’s flailing arms still, giving the young physician the opportunity to administer several syringes with drugs. The grotesque fight continued for another half a minute, then Carson’s movements gradually slowed down and at last ceased altogether. He blinked a few times and his eyes lost its focus but they stayed open.

“He… he tried to pull… pull out the… the… tube”, Rodney stammered still shaken from the scene he had witnessed. “I had to hold him down…”

“Shit”, Cole muttered under her breath. She adjusted her stethoscope and carefully listened to the sound of her patient’s lungs. “Everything seems to be fine but get me the mobile x-ray, just to be sure”, she said to no one in particular. Becoming aware of the fact that Rodney and John were still there, she faced the two men, her expression stern and discouraging.

“Please radio the others. I need to talk to all of you.”

As Dr Cole left, she was surprised to find Elizabeth, Teyla and Ronon standing right behind the curtain, deepest concern engraved in their features.

“Oh”, she exclaimed, momentarily stunned.

“I heard Dr McKay shout the Colonel’s name”, Teyla said apologetically. “I informed Dr Weir and Ronon that something was wrong. I hope that is alright with you, Dr Cole.”

“Since you’re already here, we can talk right away.”

The small group assembled around the physician just outside the curtain, afraid of what they might hear. When the doctor hesitated and looked down to the polished infirmary floor, they realized it was serious, more serious than they wanted to know.

“What happened in there a minute ago?” Sheppard started.

“Dr Beckett’s fever has climbed to 105.2 degrees. He was hallucinating. Obviously he was fighting against something and in the process tried to pull the ventilator tube out of his throat. I gave him some tranquilizers and painkillers to calm him down.” She fell silent for a moment and looked at the floor again, unable to hold anyone’s questioning gaze.

When she lifted her brown eyes, they were filled with regret. “This incident was rather harmless and as far as I can see there has been no damage, but I think you will understand that something like this must not happen again.” The implications of this statement slowly sank in.

“Dr Beckett’s condition has worsened dramatically. He is burning up with fever and his temperature is not going down, not even with medication. Some of his burns are acutely infected, and the sepsis won’t react to the usual cocktail of antibiotics. Due to his state, Dr Beckett is asleep most of the time, and even when he’s awake, he is hallucinating and hardly lucid.” Teyla and Elizabeth had paled, Rodney’s colour matched that of the bed sheets, only Ronon and Sheppard stood their ground.

Dr Cole swallowed before she softly continued. “Dr Beckett needs rest above all else now. As soon as the x-ray comes back clear… I will put him into a medically induced coma. Maybe he’ll get better then.” The last sentence was almost choked as Samantha fought with her own emotions.

In his bed, Carson glared at the ceiling without focus. He felt miserable, incredibly hot and the weight of a ton of bricks seemed to rest on his body, making it almost impossible for him to move. Visions were rushing through his mind and he heard voices, familiar voices. With enormous effort he tried to concentrate, to focus on what was said. The mist in his mind from the recent dose of pain medication made it extremely difficult for him to string the words together to meaningful units. While he still thought about the sense of the words, a machine came into his field of vision but left before he even realized his body had been slightly moved. Then he comprehended a certain phrase: ‘medically induced coma’. It sounded like a death sentence; and maybe it was…

Beckett felt a tug on his right arm when something was injected into his IV. “He will fall asleep in a minute”, a voice explained. It was much closer now, easier to understand. “You can stay here, all of you. I don’t think I could make you leave anyway.”

‘One minute. One minute… for maybe the rest of his life. Would he ever wake up again? Would he make out the end at all? Would it make a difference? Or would it be the same as the relentless sleep, which already crept into his awareness?’ He was defeated and terribly afraid, but worst of all, he didn’t have any answers. With one last exertion, Carson forced his glassy, dilated eyes to focus on the world. They were all here, his closest friends, standing around his bed. At least he was not alone. Not alone like that night in the tent with Michael on some godforsaken planet. No, they were all here. He felt their reassuring hands giving him strength and a tiny anchor to reality to which he could cling. Before the pull at his consciousness became overwhelming and his vision blurred, he looked at each of them one last time, taking in their friendship and despair. Last of all, his eyes rested on Rodney, but after a second McKay was no longer able to hold his friend’s gaze, the physicist looked away. When Rodney had composed himself and looked up once more, Beckett’s bright blue eyes were already closed. The emotion almost tangible, the Scot could feel the wave of regret surging through Rodney, regret for failing his friend; again…

But Carson could no longer defy the tide that engulfed him mercilessly. The sounds and feelings became distant, unreal, then faded away. And his mind was lost in a sea of never-ending darkness…

Chapter VIII
Sheppard’s left hand was clenched to a tight fist, nails digging deep into his palm as he watched Carson drift slowly into oblivion. This was wrong, so wrong. He felt helpless beyond belief. Usually he was the one who ended up wounded in the infirmary, with Beckett working miracles on him, if necessary moving heaven and hell. The man was a kick-ass physician, if anyone could send the Grim Reaper packing, it was him! Trust wasn’t nearly a strong enough word to describe what he felt when in Carson’s care. And now they had to simply witness him fade away and could do nothing, nothing but wait. Why was having friends ever so painful?

Face set, John took a step back and flopped onto the chair he had occupied before. From the corner of an eye he could see Rodney’s guilt-laden expression. Hesitantly he raised a hand to lay on the physicist’s shoulder as he too took a seat. “He’ll be okay. You’ll see.” John’s tone suggested conviction his mind lacked.

“I looked away.” McKay sounded inconsolable. “I looked away…”, his words receded to a whisper.

At the sound of shuffling feet and fabric being pulled back, Sheppard looked up, for the first time realizing that Dr Cole had still been there. “I’ll get more chairs”, she said as she sneaked out. A few minutes later, the curtain was drawn back with a swift move. However, it was not Dr Cole but two nurses bringing chairs. Without a word they set them down and exited, leaving the curtain partially open, thus creating more space now that there were five worried persons waiting.

While Ronon and Teyla sat down, Elizabeth looked indecisive, unsure what to do. With small, hesitant steps she moved towards the still form in the bed before her. It took a few seconds before she reached out for the cloth and rinsed it. For the fraction of a second her shoulders slumped and it seemed as if she might lose her composure. But when she placed the cold cloth on Carson’s forehead again, her face and features displayed no weakness. She tenderly stroked his cheek, then turned and went away.

Knowing he was stripped of all other options but wait and be at Beckett’s side, John leaned back heavily and closed his eyes, lulled by the murmured self-berating of McKay’s voice. The night sitting by his injured friend had been long, and the new day had just dawned. So for an endless moment, he silently listened to the monotonous beeping of the various monitors and the rhythmical whoosh-thunk of the respirator. Finally, his own breathing levelled out and he gently slid back into the realm of restless dreams.

Although he hadn’t even become aware of leaving consciousness behind at all, when he reluctantly opened his eyes again after what seemed less than ten minutes of merciful respite, the scenery had changed significantly. A quick check on his watch told him it was already way past noon. Rodney had fallen asleep on the chair beside him, while Ronon had obviously found the vacant bed next to Beckett’s. Sheppard couldn’t suppress a grin; the soundly slumbering warrior was quite a sight. He noticed Elizabeth hadn’t returned as of yet, and Teyla was gone as well, but he suspected he would find the Athosian in her own bed.

Careful not to make a sound, he gingerly got up and stretched his aching limbs. Just seconds ago the pilot had smiled at the Satedan for his choice of the bed, now he silently envied him. Most likely Ronon would not have to worry about stiff and numb extremities when he woke up. Judging by the very uncomfortably-looking posture of the scientist, at least McKay would share his fate. An evil grin crossed his face. Without noise he walked over to Carson’s head and for a while did nothing but look at his motionless friend. For all the fear and despair John had seen in the man’s eyes before he had been put to sleep, now his face was completely relaxed and void of all worries. There was no pain, only peace. Sheppard gently took the cloth from Beckett’s forehead, quietly washed his fevered face and let it once more sink into the basin of water. Then he placed it back on the doc’s brow.

Sighing deeply, John considered dropping on his seat again before his grumbling stomach reminded him of its emptiness. ‘Alright, maybe I can just grab some food and coffee at the mess. There’s nothing here at the moment I could do anyway.’ He was already on his way sneaking out of the curtained area when it hit him. ‘Boots… right… I should probably put on the boots.’ Being aware of the colonel’s concern for his friend, no one would have said anything, but he still preferred holding up a minimum resemblance of dignity, especially as the CO of Atlantis.

On his way out, he briefly stopped by at Beckett’s office, where Dr Cole was concentrating on some paperwork.

“Is anything wrong?” she started, alarmed.

“No, everything seems to be fine. I just wanted to go to the mess and wondered if I could bring you something as well”, Sheppard asked standing in the doorframe.

She smiled. “I’m fine. Thanks, Colonel.”

“Welcome”, he mumbled tapping his fist on the door as he left.

xXxXx
Once Sheppard had smelled the delicious aroma of spicy goulash with rice, the temptation of getting a warm meal into his starving stomach was too much to defy. Instead of merely chewing on a turkey sandwich, he sat down at one of the tables with a dish of goulash, a glass of juice and a tasty donut. Despite his hunger and the aroma, he paid little attention to the meal. While he ate in silence, his mind strayed back to the infirmary. He only noticed that he had already emptied his tray when his fork repeatedly clicked on the plate without hitting anything. He quickly disposed of the tray, then fetched another one and began piling different sandwiches, side dishes and desserts on it; plus two cups of blue Jell-O for McKay. John had never understood Rodney’s fascination for wobbly, coloured food with no nutritional value whatsoever, but since the astrophysicist craved this dessert, he hoped it would lighten his mood a bit.

As he passed the doors of the mess hall, juggling his tray laden with food and two vacuum flasks of coffee, he nearly bumped into Elizabeth, who only just managed to get out of the way to avoid a collision.

“Whoa, Elizabeth.”

“John.”

For a moment an awkward silence spread between the two, then Weir continued, “Quite an amazing pile you got yourself.”

“Um, yeah”, was the only reply.

“I see you’re headed to the infirmary again”, Elizabeth began. “I… ehm… I had a lot of work. I’ll come and see after Carson later.” She fiddled nervously with her hands.

“Sure. See ya”, Sheppard muttered picking up his stride, not waiting for an answer.

Arriving at his destination roughly half an hour after he had left, he found McKay and Ronon at Teyla’s side next to her bed. A painful knot formed inside his stomach and he swallowed hard.

“What happened? Is something wrong?” The dread was clearly audible in his voice.

Rodney looked confused and shot a glance at the curtain, right index finger and left thumb pointing in the direction. “Oh, you mean…”

“No. Nothing is wrong, Colonel”, Teyla soothed with a calming gesture. “Doctor Beckett is still fine. There is just a… visitor.”

The way Teyla pronounced the last word did nothing to ease Sheppard’s disquiet. Wordlessly he put the tray down on Teyla’s night stand and cautiously approached the secluded section. From inside he heard a muffled voice, but he could not quite make out who it was, nor could he understand the words. The sight that greeted him upon lurking round the half-drawn curtain left him speechless. There was Colonel Caldwell sitting on one of the chairs, slightly hunched over, elbows resting on his knees. The face of the usually tough-as-nails commander of the Daedalus displayed a softness John had not believed possible in the hard features of the experienced soldier.

Almost instantly Caldwell became aware of Sheppard’s presence and straightened immediately, his tone becoming both louder and more resolute. “Anyway… I hope you will get better soon, Doctor.” With a firm pat on Beckett’s shoulder he rose and passed the pilot with a nod, added by a short, “Colonel Sheppard.”

Astounded and unable to say anything, John gazed after the Colonel, who left the infirmary without a sideways glance.

Chapter IX
When John returned his attention to his team, he couldn’t help a broad grin as he saw his friends falling on the tray like famished birds of prey on their victim; especially Ronon eyed every hand moving towards the food suspiciously, ready to jump into action should anyone dare to pick an item he claimed for his own. Approaching Beckett’s side, Sheppard shook his head.

“You know, doc”, he said cheerfully, “they are really quite a bunch. Honestly, sometimes I really have to fight the urge to knock their heads together! And you’re no exception!”

While rewetting the cloth on the physician’s brow, he grew serious again. “Listen… Carson… I think I’ve never told you before… and I probably wouldn’t if you could understand me right now”, John added hastily. “Besides, Rodney would never let me hear the end of it…” He paused briefly, looking to the shining floor. ‘Man, this was worse than pulling teeth!’

“Carson… what I want to say…”, he took another pause, then perceived soft steps coming closer and the curtain parted.

“Sorry to interrupt, Colonel, but will you give us a moment?” Dr Cole’s voice broke the silence. Sensing she couldn’t have chosen a worse time to enter, she apologised, “Sorry, I didn’t know… I’ll come back in a few minutes.”

“No. No, it’s okay. Really.” John immediately put on a casual expression and faced Beckett again. “Seems like you’re pretty popular lately if even Caldwell pays you a visit and now a beautiful blonde wants to share a moment in private…” He gave the Scot a short pat on the arm and left.

In the meantime the others had finished their meal and looked expectantly at Sheppard when he approached.

“He seems to be alright. Cole is with him, so I guess it’ll take a while.”

“Thanks for the Jell-O by the way”, exclaimed McKay, still chewing.

“Yes, thank you, Colonel. That was very considerate”, Teyla concurred while Ronon just nodded and lifted his hand in agreement, swallowing the last bites.

“Welcome”, the pilot dismissed, sitting down on Teyla’s bed.

xXxXx
For the most part of the next few hours they sat in silence at Carson’s side. They had given up talking about meaningless things, the fake cheerfulness being too much to bear. During his shift Dr Jollet had only bothered them twice and said nothing after his examinations, which Sheppard took for a good sign, but Rodney wasn’t quite so sure about that. He never told the others; yet, to his mind an air of despair filled the room, and nothing these ‘voodoo apprentices’ did could dissipate this impression.

Just before the lights were dimmed for the night, Elizabeth joined the waiting team, bringing fresh coffee and snacks. She was about to take a seat when the low and soothing voice of Dr Gitano resounded in the peace of the quiet infirmary. “Good evening.”

They all turned towards the doctor.

“I see you are still here waiting. Sis is a really nice touch from you. But you were here already se whole time. Now I must insist sat you go sleep some hours. Miss Emmagan, for you it is time also.”

McKay glared at the physician as if he had just proposed to never use the stargate again. In his opinion the suggestion was completely and utterly absurd. While Teyla and Weir seemed to contemplate the proposition, John and Ronon started to object, obviously liking the idea no better than the astrophysicist.

“All of you are very exhausted”, Gitano defended himself. “You are not doing a favour somebody if you stay until you collapse. You need some sleep. Dr Beckett is doing good, the fever even went down a bit, so you don’t have to worry about.”

Once more the protest began, but Elizabeth cut them short with a commanding tone. “Dr Gitano is right. You all look dead beat. A few hours of sleep won’t hurt. I’ll stay here with Carson over night”, she offered, casting a stern look at each of the men - one they knew better than to challenge.

The doctor wasn’t entirely content with the solution, but being fully aware that this was probably the best arrangement he could achieve, he nodded his agreement. “Okay sen. If anysing is wrong, I will call you.” He briefly checked the monitors and wrote something into the chart. On his way out he threw a reassuring smile at them and wished everybody a good night.

Reluctantly, McKay rose from his chair and watched Sheppard and Ronon help Teyla to her bed before they all headed for their respective quarters. Of course Rodney knew Elizabeth and the Columbian doctor had been right and he was almost literally dead on his feet, but that made leaving Beckett no easier. Somehow the unsettling feeling of having to stay close at Carson’s side just wouldn’t vanish. The only thing that quieted his mind a little was the fact that Weir had stayed there, so his friend wouldn’t be alone. Furthermore, no matter how desperately they needed to crash for a short period of time, he trusted Elizabeth to know how much they all cared for their CMO. She would not hesitate to radio them if anything happened.

After drinking a cup of coffee Elizabeth slowly settled onto the chair nearest to the bed. It had been a long day and despite her vigorous efforts, she had never quite succeeded in pushing her growing concern aside. She regarded Carson’s relaxed features and couldn’t get around her immense disquiet. She had never been one to be easily spooked, but this menagerie of machines and monitors Beckett was connected to, was indeed frightening. Usually he was the one in control of this. This was his very realm. Now seeing him as the patient and in such a poor condition was more than unsettling - it was outright disturbing. Weir leant back and closed her eyes, letting the constant beeping lull her thoughts. The rhythmical noise was unnerving, but it was also a comforting reassurance that the kind-hearted Scot was still alive.

xXxXx
The night passed without incident, and when one by one John, Rodney and Ronon returned to the infirmary in the morning, having rested for a couple of hours and taken a shower, they really looked much better. Too tired for any lengthy conversation, Elizabeth greeted them with a smile followed by a yawn.

“I think there’s someone else who’s in need of a nap,” Sheppard stated.

Weir noticed the colonel wasn’t wearing his usual boots but some more comfortable sneakers, which squealed audibly on the floor. “No time. I have to get back to work”, she replied after a short moment.

“Yeah. I bet you do”, came John’s retort.

“Sheppard, correct me if I’m wrong”, McKay joined in the exchange, “but I seem to distinctly recall someone giving a speech about ‘looking exhausted’ and ‘some sleep wouldn’t hurt’. So don’t give us the same lame excuses we tried on you a few hours back!”

“Come on, Elizabeth”, the pilot’s tone masterfully preparing the final strike, “Atlantis won’t immediately fall apart without her leader. At least not for a few hours if I manage to keep Rodney away from his lab.”

“Haha, very funny, Colonel!” Said physicist crossed his arms in front of him, huffing condescendingly.

Giving a sheepish smile, Elizabeth accepted her defeat with a sigh and tilted her head. If nothing, she was too worn-out to argue any longer, so she gave in and nodded. “Alright.” Gingerly she got up, stretching her sore limbs.

“Don’t worry, I’ll see to McKay not sinking the city”, John called after her, a smug smile on his face.

Rodney paid no attention to the teasing remark. Instead, he carefully eyed Beckett while rinsing the damp cloth. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but somehow the physician looked different than yesterday - worse. It was really more a gut feeling than anything else. So maybe it was just him, and he was only imagining things. Taking in a deep breath, he crouched on one of the chairs, Sheppard and Ronon following suit. There was nothing they could do anyway - nothing but wait.

Twice before noon Dr Cole checked on Beckett, the forced smile and worried face she sported each time she left her patient, equalling a hard punch in the stomach region. McKay confronted her on both occasions but she would simply look away saying she wasn’t sure as of yet, subsequently disappearing in one of the labs. Having his fears sort of confirmed, Rodney realized that as much as he usually enjoyed it to the full, sometimes being right sucked, big time.

Several more hours passed before the young doctor hurried back with a stern face. Yet, to the team’s surprise, she didn’t come alone. In tow she had two nurses, who were pushing a strange machine. All four jumped to their feet, startled, nervously gazing at the newly arrived personnel and equipment.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rodney demanded.

“Excuse us for a moment, will you?” Samantha Cole expressed in no uncertain terms, her chin pointing in the direction of the infirmary’s waiting area. “I will talk to you in a minute. Please.”

Ronon, Teyla, John and Rodney stared at her with a mix of disbelief and annoyance but most of all, concern. When the young physician gave them no heed, they walked off, hearing the nurses draw the curtain shut behind them. John gazed at his team, then wordlessly headed towards the waiting area.

xXxXx
By the time Dr Cole appeared from behind the curtain and motioned them to follow her into Carson’s office, Ronon was positively convinced that both Sheppard and McKay had already left tracks on the floor from their constant pacing. Without doubt, these two geeks must have been a heaven-sent punishment for some horrible crime he had committed in a previous life, as Beckett would have put it. Some time ago, after he had overheard the usually so patient physician curse over Rodney’s whining, Carson had explained to him the concept of rebirth and retribution for past sins. Having spent more than two years on Atlantis by now, the Satedan found the Scotsman’s outburst was alarmingly fitting.

Upon entering the office, Dr Cole was sitting at Carson’s desk, the palms of her hands digging into her eyes as her elbows rested on the table-top. John and Rodney exchanged a quizzical glance, feeling helpless, not sure whether the young doctor was merely tired or crying. It was Teyla, who took the initiative and stepped forward, putting a consoling hand on Samantha’s shoulder, softly whispering, “Dr Cole, are you alright?”

“Yes”, came the subdued answer. “It’s nothing. I’m only a bit short of sleep.” She raised her head and faked a weak smile but the reddened eyes and wet spots on the sleeves of her lab coat betrayed her.

Chapter X
“Please sit down”, Dr Cole invited calmly but none of them moved. She gave a resigned sigh and rose to her feet. “Alright…” The physician hesitated once more. “You know we run a daily series of blood tests to see whether we’ve been able to fight the infection or if there’s anything wrong. Today we discovered Dr Beckett suffered from acute renal failure, his kidneys are no longer working, which is usually not a good sign… Anyway, we immediately started haemodialysis.”

“Wait”, John interrupted. “Dialysis like people who need a kidney transplant.”

“Exactly. That’s precisely what it is. Since his kidneys are no longer washing the blood, we have to clean it externally in a machine once a day”, Cole explained. A moment of silence filled the small room.

“Okay, you said ‘not a good sign’. How bad?” Rodney inquired.

“Well… Dr Beckett’s condition is still critical but we are…” The young woman looked away from them.

“How bad?” McKay wasn’t willing to let it go.

“Acute renal failure is not uncommon… but there’s no knowing… As I told you before, organ failure was a possibility… and we started the dialysis…”

“Yeah, yeah”, the physicist cut her short, waving his hand dismissively. “You said something like that… actually, since Tuesday you’ve been simply throwing an awful lot of medical terms at us. Not that I don’t appreciate your jargon and all…”, his arms were now gesturing wildly, “but you see, this doesn’t mean anything to us. I’m not exactly retarded but even a person as brilliant as I am can’t know everything, although I like to think of myself that I do.”

When the shocked doctor didn’t answer immediately, McKay continued, ignoring the colonel’s sharp glare in his direction. “Or do you want me to scan through your medical database and try to make sense of it myself…? So, no excuses! What precisely does this mean?” His voice had grown to a shout.

“Rodney”, Sheppard hissed.

Not used to the physicist’s rants, Dr Cole stood there, aghast, completely taken off her track. The other team members seemed to be less than happy with McKay’s outburst but they looked at her with grave expectation, also waiting for a no-nonsense answer. Realizing she wouldn’t get around it this time, she drew a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for talking straight. When she began at last, her voice was soft, hardly above a whisper, but she looked deep into Rodney’s eyes, for the first time not attempting to mask her feelings. “Okay, you want the truth? Things are not looking up. In fact, I’m afraid this could be the first instance of multi-organ failure.”

Another pause settled in.

“What are his chances?” John asked eventually.

Dr Cole swallowed hard. “For a full recovery…” She closed her eyes. “…less than 15 percent.”

Rodney felt the ground rock underneath his unsteady feet and the thunderous silence roared in his ears. Figures, statistics were his forte, and they’d beaten odds far worse than 15 percent. And Beckett plus staff had already proven they were capable of working miracles. Yes, their ‘voodoo rituals’ were rather successful to say the least. But in his mind Carson was the infirmary. So, with Carson out of the picture and Cole saying there was nothing they could do, he simply had hardly any trust in the other ‘witchdoctors’. All of a sudden 15 percent seemed like an unsurpassable threshold. Getting over his state of shock, he dashed out of the office to the area shielded from view and drew back the curtain.

The strange machine they had seen earlier was now standing next to Carson’s bed, two huge tubes led to the dark-haired man and ended in two gigantic needles sticking in his right arm. The physicist froze at the disturbing sight. Seeing the blood being pumped through the machine, was more than he could bear. His stomach rebelled and he began to retch. Hands flying towards his mouth, he turned away and fled.

Sheppard wanted to follow him but Teyla grabbed his arm. “Not. Dr McKay needs a moment for himself. Colonel… John, he will come back on his own.” Her voice was soft and understanding.

For a second the pilot appeared as though he intended to pull free while he considered Teyla’s pleading. Finally, he gave in and stepped back towards the infirmary bed. Carefully eying the dialysis device and the tubes, he couldn’t help but comprehend why Rodney had been so upset. It was a most unsettling sight, but he refused to let Ronon or Teyla see how much it affected him too. Sitting down and looking into Beckett’s peaceful face, Sheppard was glad the doctor was not awake during the whole procedure. From own experience he knew that if at all there could be an advantage to a drug-induced coma, it was the painlessness.

xXxXx
After endless hours, the dialysis machine was finally removed and John began to wonder where Rodney was. He checked his watch and noticed that more than five hours had passed since the scientist’s hurried departure. With a tap to his radio he activated the com. “Sheppard to McKay.” But there was no response. Teyla rolled her eyes and exchanged a knowing glance with Ronon. A few unsuccessful tries later, John took to more devious methods and radioed Zelenka instead.

Impatiently he waited for Radek to come up with information about Rodney’s hideaway. It took nearly 15 minutes before he heard the static crackle, which always preceded incoming calls.

“Colonel Sheppard”, the Czech accent was unmistakable, “this is Zelenka. I found Rodney. But I had to sneak out again so that he doesn’t know you sent me to look for him. He has locked himself in one of the labs, says he has important work to do and doesn’t want to be interrupted.” After a short pause he added, “Actually, he shooed me out of the lab with some very unpleasant terms.”

John chuckled heartily; the last part was so much like Rodney. Teyla, Ronon and Elizabeth, who had just entered the infirmary, shot Sheppard a quizzical look, completely puzzled by the unexpected reaction. “Just a second”, he mouthed to them. “Thank you, Radek”, he said with a smile, then disclosed, “McKay told Zelenka whereto he could go.”

The Satedan’s face lit up, he had an all too vivid imagination of that scene. Elizabeth still didn’t understand what was going on. She was about to ask when Teyla gave John a reassuring nod, “I am sure Dr McKay will return any minute now.”
It was another three hours before he did.

xXxXx
Another night came and went. This time, after having read in the chart, Dr Gitano had refrained from kicking them out of the infirmary to get some rest. Somehow the visitors couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that there was a very good reason to it, one they didn’t like. Yet, despite a marginal rise of Carson’s fever, nothing had happened; a fact they all appreciated greatly.

In the morning, after a thorough examination by Dr Cole, Teyla was discharged from the infirmary at last. She was not surprised to hear she wasn’t to overdo it or that she wasn’t cleared for even light duty before another week. The young Athosian was not iching to be on duty again since the only place she wanted to be was near her friend, the man who had saved her life a week ago.

Wearing again her own clothes instead of scrubs, she came over to where John, Rodney and Ronon had almost literally fallen to sleep. Elizabeth had left roughly two hours before, claiming she needed some sleep, but they all knew too well she had gone back to her office. John in particular had not been happy about that; yet, there was nothing he could do, so he let it slip without comment. Hearing Teyla approach, the colonel blinked sleepily and tried to move his stiff limbs. Ronon was already sitting up as if he had never closed his eyes when Sheppard cast a short glance at the Satedan. Rodney on the other hand was still snoring noisily in his seat, taking no head at all. She smiled at the three men and offered to get breakfast from the mess hall.

By the time Teyla returned with a huge tray of food, McKay still hadn’t stirred. For the better part of a second Sheppard considered letting the scientist sleep through their mealtime, but at last he nodded towards Ronon, who stood next to Rodney’s chair.

“That can be amended”, Dex murmured, a vicious grin unfolding on his lips.

With one swift move he inflicted a powerful kick upon the legs of the chair, sending it sliding away a few feet. If not for John’s quick intervention of supporting McKay’s shoulders, the physicist would have landed on the floor. He woke with a start. “What?! Not my fault!”

The others burst into a laugh, and Teyla only just managed to hold on to the tray, which swayed dangerously to the rhythm of her sniggering.

Realizing what had happened, Rodney was fuming. “Are you crazy?! I could have broken my neck! And why are you laughing like mad?”

“Your face”, Ronon pressed out.

“Priceless”, John threw in.

“Haha, very funny”, the scientist scowled grumpily.

A nurse appeared next to the curtain, looking less than pleased, but her stern expression made it even harder to stop chortling.

“This is an infirmary, not a pub! There are patients in here who need their rest. If you can’t behave yourself, you had better leave”, she reprimanded. Giving the group no opportunity to reply, she stamped away. Calming down, they smirked at each other. Then Teyla placed the tray on the night stand.

After their extensive breakfast, both John and Rodney feared their stomachs might blow any second, only Ronon looked as if his hunger wasn’t entirely satisfied yet. When she spotted Dr Cole heading towards Carson’s office, Teyla said she needed to talk to the young physician and left. When she reappeared from the office, the women were fondly smiling at each other.

“…of course.” Dr Cole patted Teyla on the shoulder.

“Thank you, Doctor Cole.” Teyla gave her a smile that would have melted the south pole, Sheppard reflected dryly. The two women were obviously getting along well.

“Call me Samantha.” At this, John almost choked on his orange juice while Rodney simply gaped at them with his mouth standing wide open. They were obviously getting along very well.

“Thank you… Samantha.” The Athosian turned her attention again at her team mates, who stared at her questioningly. “Last night I had an idea”, she explained, “and I asked if I was allowed to do it. Now I have to ask Dr Weir before I go to the mainland. If anything happens while I am away, please call me immediately.” Not caring the least that her words didn’t answer the unspoken question at all, Teyla hurried out of the infirmary again, taking with her the empty tray.

xXxXx
As she approached the office overlooking the Gateroom, she saw that Elizabeth had not taken a break but was working on the laptop. The Athosian smiled and knocked on the door before she entered. “Elizabeth, do you have a minute?”

“Of course, Teyla. Come in. Is anything wrong?” The expedition leader offered her a seat.

“No, everything seems to be fine. I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

“How are you feeling? Have you been released from the infirmary?” Elizabeth eyed her carefully.

“Yes, I was released this morning, and I am feeling good,” Teyla assured her.

“Good. What can I do for you?” the dark-haired woman shoved her laptop aside.

“The Athosians have a tradition. When a boy comes to manhood, he must pass a ritual to show his strength and skill, to prove he is mature enough to be counted among the men of my people.” Teyla studied Weir’s face, searching for any hint that would give her away, but Elizabeth’s expression was unreadable. She purposefully didn’t let on what she was thinking.

Warily the young Athosian continued. “While all the men of the village take part in that ritual to witness the boy’s passing from childhood to manhood, the women of the family gather inside and perform a ritual which gives the boy strength to pass the test. This ceremony stands in high honour among my people and can also be held when exceptional hardships lie on the path of a man.” She paused once more to let the words sink in and study Elizabeth’s face before coming to the crucial point.

“You have told me many times that we are a family here on Atlantis. I would like to perform this ritual for Dr Beckett to give him strength. And I invite you to take part in it.”

Elizabeth thought about it for a moment, then smiled at Teyla. “I’m honoured that you asked me, Teyla. And I will gladly take part. Where do you intend to do it?”

“I have already spoken to Dr Cole. She allowed the ceremony in the infirmary, and she agreed to taking part as well.”

“Fine. Just tell me when.” Weir nodded, expecting the conversation to be over.

“I will. But first I need some things from the mainland.”

Looking up from her laptop, Elizabeth replied, “No problem. Ask Major Lorne. I’m sure he will fly you over.”

“Thank you”, the Athosian said on her way out of the office.

xXxXx
Major Lorne had jumped at the opportunity to give Teyla a hand when he heard what she was planning to do. He felt still guilty for not abandoning his picture instead of going fishing with Beckett. Of course the fact that Carson was alive had lifted some of that weight off him but the heavier part lingered on. What worth had a painting compared to a life? He was still deeply ashamed for having chosen the lifeless canvas over the well-being of a friend then. He knew about the Scot’s condition and would have given anything to go and pay him a visit, but just like Radek, he wasn’t allowed to enter the intensive care unit. This privilege was reserved for Carson’s closest friends, and he understood that.

xXxXx
While Teyla was gone, Carson had endured another dialysis, and later on his fever had risen to 106 degrees. Dr Jollet had injected something into the IV port and told several nurses to discard the blanket covering the physician’s body and put cold compresses round his legs and torso. McKay had shuddered at the thought of the cool cloths and begun to shiver in sympathy with his friend. Apparently unmoved, John and Ronon had watched. But even though they didn’t let on, all three of them had felt the cold creep into their bodies and minds, and the knot in their stomachs had grown to the size of a rock.

Shortly before nightfall, Teyla had returned from the former Athosian settlement and with Elizabeth in tow rejoined the waiting party. The two women had been shocked to find the Scot’s condition had deteriorated during the afternoon. With the help of the fresh compresses every 30 minutes, the fever had gone down by 0.4 degrees; too little if Sheppard interpreted the doctors’ faces correctly.

Now, halfway through the nightshift, Weir had dozed off on her seat, Rodney had pulled up a second chair to support his feet while napping, and John’s head rested on his arms on the foot of Carson’s bed. Teyla lay outstretched on the adjacent infirmary bed, not asleep but eyes staring into the far distance. Ronon, being weary of just sitting around, leaned absentmindedly against the wall, arms folded in front of him. The night nurse sneaked in, trying to check the displays without making too much noise. Assessing the monitors, she stifled a gasp and stormed out, no longer caring about startling anybody awake. The sudden clamour had alerted four of the five visitors and Sheppard gave McKay a not too gentle jab on the shoulder to rouse him. Therefore, all of them stood upright in anxiety as Dr Gitano hurried towards his patient. He concentrated on the readings while Rodney nervously bit his lip, unable to hide his fear.

The Columbian doctor sighed deeply, then fumbled at the control panel of the ventilator before he met their worried faces. It seemed as if someone had flipped a switch, for what they saw in the shadowy eyes of the physician made their blood turn to ice-water. The dark circles underneath his eyes became more prominent and his expression revealed a broken old man who was on the verge of defeat. The five of them stared at him blankly, prompting him to say aloud what they already knew from his bloodless face.

“Dr Beckett’s oxygen saturation has fallen, and I increased se pressure for counteract sis.” A long pause followed in which Gitano was clearly at a loss for words. There was no easy way to tell something like that. Finally he spoke again, his voice tinged with regret and sorrow. “Besides se oxygen saturation, his heart rate decreased considerably. Sere is nosing more we can do. I’m afraid multi-organ failure is imminent. He is dying. Unless a miracle happens, it can be over any minute now.”

The shell-shocked team stood there, aghast, frozen to salt statures, unable to move or say a word. Trembling and with unseeing eyes they gazed for an endless moment into nothingness as cruel silence flooded the room, threatening to drown them.

And it was Sunday…

Surviving Sunday, Chapters XI-XIII
.