Almost forgot...
For book_rapport...
Title: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (Part 1/2)
Word Count: 10,115
Pairing/Character: Edward/Bella, the Cullens, the Volturi
Warnings: sex!
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: book_rapport, I'm not going to lie - this isn't exactly what you requested. I tried really, really hard to stick to your prompt, but my fingers just sort of ran away from me once I started typing (as you can tell from the length), then I ran into some trouble, and... well. This is what the muse came up with. I hope you enjoy it :)
Fire. Everything was on fire. White hot knives were stabbing me all over my body, and I couldn't pull air into my lungs past the pain. Dimly, I heard Alice tell Edward he should bite me again. His eyes were pained, but still, he shifted to the other side of me. This time, there was no hesitation before his teeth sank into the flesh of my neck. My eyesight blurred, my back arching off of the bed as I cried out.
I'd expected this. I'd known this was coming. I'd felt this pain before, and I remembered how I'd begged for Edward to put out the fire that was burning its way up my arm, to end my torment.
This time, I grasped his hand tightly in mine and grit my teeth, knowing the pain would only get worse before it got better.
Three days. I only had to bear this for three days. That was nothing when compared to eternity with Edward.
I sank down into the haze of pain, letting memories roll over me, anything to help get my mind off of the agony.
---
I gasped as Edward kissed my throat, doing the most wonderful things to my neck with his lips. Edward and I were having the perfect afternoon together. Or at least, it was the perfect afternoon in my eyes, and I hoped he considered it the same. We had decided to spend the day before the wedding relaxing, and we were doing exactly that.
I reached my arm up to pull him down on the bed with me. He leaned over me, his lower body pressing into mine as much as he would allow, his arm keeping most of his weight off of me. I dragged his lips to mine.
When his phone rang the first time, we were both able to ignore the pesky sound.
When his phone rang the second and third times, I let out a growl of frustration. "Who is it?"
"Probably Alice." He punctuated this statement by kissing his way across my collar bones and making his way down.
I gasped, my back arching involuntarily. "Ignore it."
When Edward's phone rang for what would be the thirteenth time in less than two minutes, both of us groaned.
"Just pick up," I grumbled, continuing to press kisses to his neck. "She'll just keep calling if you don't."
"You seem to be sending me mixed messages," he said with a wry grin, gently skimming one of his hands down my arm, then down my left side, brushing against my thigh. My breath hitched.
Then, said hand disappeared into his pocket, and the phone was at his ear in an instant. I glared at him and he smiled back impishly. "Hello, Alice. Bella and I are busy at the moment, so if you could-" He paused and his brow furrowed. "You want us to come do that now?" He sat up, and I followed, leaning my head on his shoulder, futilely trying to listen in on Alice's side of the conversation. I idly trailed my hand up and down his arm.
"Alice, I understand that wedding preparations are important." My hand stilled on his arm and I groaned quietly, burying my head in the back of his shoulder.
"Tell me Alice isn't trying to ruin a perfect afternoon with wedding preparations," I hissed in his ear.
He chuckled and turned his head to press a kiss to my cheek. "I know, Alice, but don't you think you're going a bit overboard?"
Suddenly, Edward's eyes tensed at the corners, and I could tell that whatever Alice said had bothered him. "Alright. We'll be there in a few minutes."
I stared at him incredulously, opening my mouth to protest. He pressed a finger to my lips. I narrowed my eyes at him as he shut the phone.
When he pulled his finger from my lips, I burst out with, "What was that all about?"
Edward shrugged. "She wants us to finalize a few things with her, that's all." The inflections in his voice as he said the words made me pause.
"You don't think this has anything to do with wedding preparations, do you?" I said, and my heart quickened slightly at the thought of this being about something else, something far worse than spending the day listening to Alice prattle on about flowers and color schemes.
He rubbed my back soothingly. "I know Alice, and she was trying to be far too convincing, even by her standards." He must have seen the beginnings of the panic I was feeling in my eyes because he leaned forward and kissed me gently. Gentle or not, he still left me breathless.
"Let's not panic prematurely," he said, his face still inches from mine, and the sweet smell of his breath made me woozy. I nodded.
Then, Edward stood up, pulling me to my feet. "Come on. Let's see what Alice has to tell us." He grinned suddenly and I laughed as he slung me onto his back and raced out of my house.
The run to Edward's was quiet, neither of us saying a word in the few minutes it took for him to travel between my house and his. I closed my eyes and let the gentle motion of his body moving swiftly through the trees lull me into a sense of calm.
When we arrived at his house, Edward set me on my feet and took my hand in his. I walked as closely to him as possible as he pushed open the door and headed straight for the living room.
Alice was sitting on the pristine, white couch, her legs pulled up under her. She looked tense and immediately, I was nervous again. Why would Alice be anxious about wedding preparations when all she'd done was flit about the house, a seemingly endless bouncing ball of energy, for the past two months? Edward went still next to me, and I responded in kind. If he was nervous, then obviously, I had reason to be.
Instantly, the atmosphere of the room calmed, and I felt my muscles relax. I hadn't noticed Jasper sitting next to Alice on the couch, his arm draped casually around her shoulders. I shot him a grateful glance.
"I take it this isn't about the wedding, then?" Edward said and I repressed a frustrated sigh. They must have been keeping their minds carefully blank, or they were concentrating on something else, meaning Edward couldn't figure out what this was all about until one of them told us themselves. The suspense was putting me on edge, even with Jasper's calming influence.
Alice shook her head. "No. It's not." She sighed and was about to get to the point when Edward's eyes widened and his grip on my hand tightened.
"No," he said, staring at Alice.
She winced but nodded. "I saw them yesterday. Not too soon, but-"
"Okay," I said, glancing back and forth between Edward and Alice. "For those of us who can't read minds or see the future, what exactly is going on? Humor the powerless human."
Jasper chuckled and Edward narrowed his eyes in his direction. Jasper continued to look completely unabashed. I couldn't help but smirk.
Alice rolled her eyes at the both of them. "Boys," she muttered. Then, she sighed. "Last night, I had a vision."
"I figured that out all on my own, thanks," I grumbled and Jasper choked back another laugh. I didn't think the vampires would ever get tired of my human reactions to things, including how easily frustrated I became when said vampires were being deliberately obtuse for the sole purpose of delaying the inevitable.
Alice slapped Jasper's knee and he settled down, but he was still unrepentant.
"Fine," she said. "Straight to the point then." She looked me straight in the eye. "I saw the Volturi making plans to come to Forks."
I froze where I stood, no longer frustrated or annoyed. The breath wheezed out of me in a strangled gasp. The Volturi had said they would come check on me some day to make sure that Edward had been true to his word and changed me into a vampire. Edward had sworn that it would take them years to come here, but deep down, I knew that they saw me as a threat. Humans weren't supposed to know about the vampire world.
I gripped Edward's hand in mine, heart pumping wildly, and turned to Alice. "When?"
"According to what I saw," she inhaled deeply. "A week after the wedding."
A week after the wedding. One week. Seven days. That wasn't enough time, and suddenly, there wasn't enough air in the room for me to breathe.
I was panicking. It was irrational, and I knew that, but for some reason, I couldn't get my lungs to work correctly, even as Edward grasped my shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Breathe, Bella! Everything is going to be fine!" I gripped his arms as tightly as I could, and he shot a glare behind me. "A little help?"
Suddenly, I found that I could breathe normally. My grip on Edward's arms relaxed, and a lazy smile slid across my face.
Edward was smiling, too, but not voluntarily. "That was overkill."
"Sorry," Jasper said, and even I could tell that he wasn't. "You wanted my help. At least now she isn't hyperventilating."
Edward didn't say anything in response, choosing instead to sit down in one of the plush armchairs across from Jasper and Alice. He pulled me down into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist protectively. "Do the others know yet?"
"No," Alice said with a shake of her head. "I wanted you - both of you - to be the first to know." I couldn't help but smile just a little. There had been a time when the Cullens would have done everything in their power to keep something like this from me until the last possible second. I was glad that they felt they could trust me with the news, even if I did panic at first. Edward was right - now wasn't the time to lose my head. "I couldn't help but tell Jasper, he was there when I had the vision," Alice finished.
"Naturally," Edward said, and then he sighed. "Do we have a plan?"
"The Volturi are coming for Bella, and only Bella. I couldn't tell if they're coming to bring her back to Italy," Edward's arms tightened around me, "Or if they're bringing Aro here. They seemed to be leaning towards the latter."
"Neither option sounds very appealing," Edward said, pressing a kiss to my neck. "I won't let her go to Italy alone, if that's the case."
"There's also the issue of time," I said, voicing my largest concern, the one that had caused my earlier episode. "If it takes three days to become a vampire, even if you change me right after the wedding, I'll only have four days, less than, to get used to- to not being human." What I hadn't said aloud was I would only have four days to get the uncontrollable urge a newborn vampire has to feed under control, to learn to hunt, to quite possibly discover what my power would be. Four days.
"We'll manage, Bella," Edward said, hugging me close to him. "You know I won't let anything happen to you."
"I just wish we had more time, that's all," I said, burying my head in his shoulder. We were always out of time, always pressed for time, always running against some invisible clock that was ticking against us. Not for the first time, I wished Edward and I could whisk away to our own personal island, where no one else could find us, and never have to leave.
Where no one else could find us... I lifted my head, the wheels of an idea beginning to turn. Wait a minute.
"What if there's no way for them to know where we are?" I said tentatively, a plan forming in my head.
Alice's eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?"
"Well," I hesitated and then blushed. "Edward was planning on taking me somewhere after the wedding." I ignored Jasper's knowing smirk, which only caused me to blush harder. "Sort of like a honeymoon."
Alice grinned wickedly. "I know. The family's been suggesting places nearby left and right for weeks, but he insists on dropping extremely subtle hints and refuses to tell us where he's taking you. Something about not wanting us to come barging in at an inopportune moment." Jasper snorted.
I had to be past the color of a ripened tomato by now, but I pressed forward. "Well, what if he just didn't tell you anything at all? If none of you know where we are, then if Aro's here, or if something goes wrong, he can't pull that information from your mind, right?"
There was silence as the three vampires stared at me. There was no question about it - my cheeks had to be purple now. "What?" I mumbled. "I'm not allowed to come up with a brilliant plan?"
"That's just it, Bella," Alice said, a smile sliding easily across her face. "It's so simple, it's brilliant." Her eyes glazed over for a moment, then her smile widened. "And it will work like a charm. Aro will be quite amused that the newlyweds wanted some extra time alone together." She chuckled. "You should get an extra two days before we figure out where you've gone."
"Two days?" I was barely able to gasp out.
"It's the best I can do, Bella. Take it or leave it."
I glanced at Edward. Tomorrow, we would be getting married. In less than a week, I would, quite possibly, be a vampire, because the Volturi would be here looking for me.
Why did we always have to cut these things so close?
I sighed. "I guess we don't really have a choice, do we?" I said, while my heart pounded furiously against my ribcage.
---
Time passed in and out in a blurry, pain-filled haze. I was never allowed the respite of sleep or unconsciousness. Every time I would feel myself falling over the precipice, so close I could see the darkness closing in on me, the fire within my body would roar back to life ten-fold, and I'd be wide awake again.
Not a moment went by that Edward wasn't at my side. At one point, I opened my eyes halfway to see him staring down at me, and the raw pain in his eyes must have mirrored the pain in mine.
"Bella," he said, cradling my face in his hands. "I'm-"
"Don't," I rasped. "Please, don't." Then, I couldn't say anything more, because if I opened my mouth again, I would scream. Instead, I bit my lip and clenched my hands into fists. I felt my entire body shake with the effort of keeping that one scream from clawing its way out of my throat.
"Don't make this harder on yourself, Bella," Alice said gently, brushing the hair out of my face. I saw her exchange a concerned glance with Edward.
I shook my head, vowing not to give in.
Then, the fire reached my head, and I was being engulfed by the flames.
I closed my eyes, withdrew back to my memories, and screamed.
---
“There are so many people.”
“There’s forty-five. That’s not that many, in fact, that’s fewer than were at your graduation party. Now, stop fidgeting and let me get this veil on your head.”
Alice gently pushed me back down into the chair I had been sitting in for the past four hours and counting, and positioned the delicate lace at the crown of my head. She shifted it this way and that until she was sure it was exactly the way she wanted it.
“There,” she said, satisfied.
“Can I look at myself now?” Alice had forbidden me from looking in a mirror until she was completely done, dress and shoes on, veil secure.
She could barely contain her excitement as she nodded. “Close your eyes.”
I sighed, but acquiesced, letting my eyes fall closed. She slowly pulled me to my feet and led me across the room to where I knew her closet to be. She positioned me in front of what I would assume was a full length mirror, and told me, “Okay. Open your eyes, Bella.”
I did, and was shocked by my own reflection. The dress Alice had picked out was a more modern version of a 1918 wedding dress, all white lace and satin. The dress was short sleeved and had a modest sweetheart neckline, with a row of tiny pearl buttons inching down the back. The veil was made of the same delicate lace as the dress. Alice had been smart and chosen shoes with a one-inch heel, a fact for which I was grateful - I was still terrified that I would trip down the aisle. Alice had pulled my hair up in a sleek twist, leaving a few tendrils down to frame my face. I could barely recognize myself.
“Edward is going to flip - in a good way,” Alice said. When I didn’t answer, she came around in front of me. “Do you like it?”
“Alice, I…I mean it’s…” I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say to her, so I settled on, “Thank you.”
Alice grinned from ear to ear. “You’re welcome. Now shoo, go wait on my bed. I have to get ready now. But don’t wrinkle your dress!” She yelled, and I laughed.
Forty-five minutes later, we were at the front door, getting ready to walk outside. I was a bundle of nerves, my heart pounding furiously.
Rosalie and Alice were getting ready to walk out ahead of me. Both of them looked stunning in navy blue strapless gowns. I had no idea how they’d gotten ready so fast. I wasn’t going to ask.
The two of them stepped out the door, and I could almost feel the anticipation from the guests. This is it, Bella, I thought to myself. There’s no turning back now. Taking a deep breath, I steeled my nerves and walked out the door and onto the porch.
---
I didn’t know how I thought I could handle this.
The pain was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It was burning, tearing me apart and putting me back together again. This was nothing like the fire of the small bite on my hand that James had given me. This was worse, so much worse. These were red-hot flames, and I was consumed by them, and there was no way to escape. I moaned in pain, my throat hoarse from screaming.
Cool hands reached out to me through the haze, caressing my face, my neck, my arms, any piece of skin they could reach. I arched up into the touch, the cold not nearly enough to douse the fire, but welcome all the same.
I felt him grab my hand and squeeze, but the pain… it was just too much. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think of something, anything else.
How had I thought I could handle this?
---
Edward stuck our bags into the closet, and if I didn’t know any better, I would swear he was taking his time on purpose. He turned around to say something to me, but I didn’t even give him the opportunity. I stood on my toes and crushed my mouth to his.
The wedding had gone off without a hitch, but if you had asked me what the minister said beyond asking us to repeat the vows, and the “I dos,” I wouldn’t be able to tell you. My eyes had been for Edward, all for Edward, watching me as if I were the most beautiful thing in his world.
Although I did remember the way his mouth had quirked, just a little, when the minister had said, “Till death do you part.”
Edward’s laughter vibrated against my lips while his arms snaked around my waist. “Impatient, are we?”
“You have no idea,” I said, trying to slide his jacket off of his shoulders. He chuckled again and released me for a moment to let the offending garment fall to the floor.
“Better?” He asked, laughter in his eyes.
“Not quite yet,” I said, what I hoped at least sounded coyly. “But we’re getting closer.” I started on his shirt, my fingers shaking, and I hadn’t even gotten one button undone when he gently grabbed my hands.
“Bella, love, slow down. Don’t rush this.” His eyes took on a wicked gleam, and I shivered as he kissed my throat, my shoulder, my jaw, the hollow of my ear, and then whispered, “We have all night.”
How could I argue with that? I nodded mutely, and Edward went to stand behind me, beginning to work on the long row of buttons down my back. He took his time, deliberately brushing his fingers against my skin each time another button was undone. By the time he was finished, I was trembling.
He kissed the back of my neck, then moved to stand in front of me. His eyes seemed to bore straight into mine as he slid the dress from my shoulders, letting it pool at my feet. He took my chin in his hand and kissed me.
I gasped as Edward lifted me off of my feet and gently placed me on the bed. I grabbed at his collar, pulling his lips back to mine while my fingers went back to their fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. When I finally felt the last little button slip out of its hole, I eagerly slid the material off of his shoulders, then ran my fingers down the newly-exposed skin of his chest.
My breath hitched when he reached behind me to deftly unhook my bra. I was more exposed then I had ever been before him, and I couldn’t help the blush that came over my cheeks.
Edward leaned forward and kissed me softly. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured against my lips. I only blushed harder, then moaned as my breasts came into contact with the cool skin of his chest.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I gasped against his lips.
His laughter rumbled through me.
---
My heart was beating faster than it ever had in my life. I wondered if this was normal, my heart beating so fast in response to the poison running through my system.
Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead, his cool lips a balm for the pain. I noticed his face looked slightly stricken. Even through the pain, I wanted to comfort him, to wipe that look from his eyes.
“Edward,” I whispered, “what’s-“
My breath cut off suddenly as the flames reared higher, exploding in my chest, and even though it just hurt all the more, I screeched, “Edward!”
Dimly, I registered that my heartbeat was beginning to slow, but I didn’t care, because the darkness was closing in on me again. Finally, everything did go black, and I fell into a blissful, dreaming unconsciousness for what I knew would be the final time.
---
The door burst open, slamming against the wall with force. I shot up in bed, clutching the sheet to my chest, heart pounding furiously. Edward was on his feet immediately. He moved so fast, I hadn't even realized he'd pulled his pants back on.
"Alice," he said, startled, and I was just as shocked as he was. "What are you-"
"I got here as soon as I could," she said and she was talking so fast, I only caught every other word. "I looked ahead to find you, and ugh," she grimaced. "I didn't want to see you doing what you were doing," I flushed scarlet at the insinuation, "but I happened to catch the name of the hotel on the pad next to the bed, so I got here as soon as I could, and-"
"Alice!" Edward said, grasping her shoulders. "You're talking so fast, even your thoughts are flying at a rapid pace. What's wrong?"
"The Volturi are coming early, Edward," she said frantically, and Edward stilled. "They're coming now. They must have known to use the loophole in my vision and made a snap decision, because I only saw them as they were about to board the plane. They'll be in Forks by morning."
I froze, my entire body going numb at her words. The Volturi were on their way to Forks, right now. Not a week from now, but tonight.
"Alice," Edward's voice was hoarse as he spoke, and he slowly dropped his hands from her shoulders to hang limply at his sides. "What exactly are you saying?"
Alice glanced behind Edward at me. Her eyes met mine for a fraction of a second and I nodded. I knew what had to be done.
Her eyes were focused on her brother as she spoke, her voice firm. "I'm saying that no one else knows where you are, but the rest of the family can only stall Aro for so long before he comes looking for you. I'm saying that if you're not home in three days, three days, Edward, things are going to get ugly.
I'm saying you have to change Bella, Edward. Tonight. Now."
Edward sat down heavily next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms. He gently ran his hand through my hair.
Alice looked at the two of us and told Edward, “I’ll give you a few minutes to yourselves - but only a few minutes.”
I waited until the door closed behind her before I said anything. I tried to make light of the situation. "Well, we certainly like to do things on a tight deadline, don't we? Poor Alice will forever have to be on her toes."
This didn't have the intended effect. Instead of laughing, Edward pulled me closer, holding me as tightly as he could. "I'm so sorry, Bella."
I pushed away from his chest so I could look at his face. "Sorry?" I said, and I let him hear the surprise I was feeling in my voice. "For what?"
Edward dropped his eyes to my hands, where he was drawing idle patterns with his fingers in one of my palms. "I promised you I would change you because you were ready-"
"I am ready," I argued.
"And not because you're afraid," he finished, still not looking at me. "Not because there was a danger looming over our heads."
I closed my hand over his, and reached up to place my other hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes at the touch. "Edward, look at me." He did, and his amber eyes shone with shame. "This isn't your fault. This is what I want. I want to be with you, forever, for better or for worse. I don't think there will ever be a time when we're not facing some sort of danger, however small it may be. This is me we're talking about," I said, and then I pointed to myself. "Danger magnet, remember?"
His lips quirked. "I believe we established you were a magnet for trouble, didn't we?"
I smiled. "Right. Any trouble within a fifty mile radius will inevitably find me. And you've always been there to save me." I leaned forward and kissed him gently. "I love you. I will always love you." I stood up, wrapping the sheet around me. "So, stop apologizing for something you have absolutely no reason to be sorry for."
Edward said nothing, but his eyes followed my every movement as I pulled my bag out from the closet and began putting my clothes on. I was just finishing up when Alice walked back into the room.
"You're lucky you already have the private suite," she said, closing the door behind her. My heart picked up just a fraction as she slid the deadbolt into place. "Just in case, I went over and told the main office not to disturb you for the remainder of your stay."
"Thank you, Alice," Edward said, and I could tell that he meant for more than just ordering around the workers at the front desk.
Alice simply smiled, then looked at the both of us. She seemed hesitant. "Do you want me to be here, or..."
I opened my mouth to answer, but Edward was the one who responded, "I need you here, Alice. Just in case I-" He stopped abruptly, but we could both tell what he was about to say- Just in case I'm not able to stop.
Alice nodded and stayed standing by the door, but turned her eyes away when Edward turned back to me. He took my hand and led me over to the bed, situating us so that I was sitting on the edge and he was standing between my legs.
His eyes burned into mine as he asked, one final time, "Bella, are you sure?"
I knew there was no going back from this. I wanted to tell him of course I was sure. I wanted to tell him that I trusted him, that I loved him, that I was ready and not to worry.
But these were my last few moments as a human, and I knew what I wanted my memories of those last few moments with him to be. So instead, I held his face in my hands, putting all of that love and trust into my eyes, and simply told him, “Kiss me.”
And he did. Edward kissed me like he had never allowed himself to kiss me before, and I gasped with the intensity, the electricity of his lips against mine. Even while we’d had sex tonight, he hadn’t allowed himself to kiss me like this. It was almost as if he were convincing himself he could be in control, in his own way.
His tongue slid against my lips, and I groaned, opening my mouth to him. This was something he’d never allowed before - any time I’d tried, he’d kept his mouth firmly shut. I’d been frustrated, but hardly ever complained.
His tongue was as cool as the rest of him, like an ice cube sliding against my own, and I was finding it hard to breathe. Edward trailed his mouth from my lips to my jawbone, laying kiss after torturous, open mouthed kiss from my neck to my shoulder. When he reached the hollow of my throat, he paused and pressed his ear to my chest. I almost wept.
He was listening to my heart for what would probably be the last time.
Edward stayed still for a moment, his head against my chest, and I ran my fingers through his hair, not saying a word. Suddenly, he took a shuddering breath, cool against my skin. I shivered. He looked at me, caressing my face gently, as if memorizing every detail, taking in every nuance of my features before he bent his head to capture my lips again.
His kisses were, if possible, more insistent this time, and he gently pushed me backwards so I was lying back on the mattress, the entire line of his body pressing against mine. I writhed up against him, my arms around his shoulders as he kissed the hollow behind my ear.
“I love you, Bella,” he whispered, so quietly I wasn’t entirely sure he’d said anything at all. His lower body was pressing harder against mine, and one of his hands gently found both of my wrists as he kissed a trail down my throat. Distantly, I acknowledged that this was important, and that I should be paying closer attention to what was going on, but all I could feel was his cold, hard body pressing down the length of mine.
Then, his teeth sunk into my neck, and all I felt was fire.
To Be Continued
Title: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy (Part 1/2)
Word Count: 10,115
Pairing/Character: Edward/Bella, the Cullens, the Volturi
Warnings: sex!
Rating: NC-17
Author's Note: book_rapport, I'm not going to lie - this isn't exactly what you requested. I tried really, really hard to stick to your prompt, but my fingers just sort of ran away from me once I started typing (as you can tell from the length), then I ran into some trouble, and... well. This is what the muse came up with. I hope you enjoy it :)
Fire. Everything was on fire. White hot knives were stabbing me all over my body, and I couldn't pull air into my lungs past the pain. Dimly, I heard Alice tell Edward he should bite me again. His eyes were pained, but still, he shifted to the other side of me. This time, there was no hesitation before his teeth sank into the flesh of my neck. My eyesight blurred, my back arching off of the bed as I cried out.
I'd expected this. I'd known this was coming. I'd felt this pain before, and I remembered how I'd begged for Edward to put out the fire that was burning its way up my arm, to end my torment.
This time, I grasped his hand tightly in mine and grit my teeth, knowing the pain would only get worse before it got better.
Three days. I only had to bear this for three days. That was nothing when compared to eternity with Edward.
I sank down into the haze of pain, letting memories roll over me, anything to help get my mind off of the agony.
---
I gasped as Edward kissed my throat, doing the most wonderful things to my neck with his lips. Edward and I were having the perfect afternoon together. Or at least, it was the perfect afternoon in my eyes, and I hoped he considered it the same. We had decided to spend the day before the wedding relaxing, and we were doing exactly that.
I reached my arm up to pull him down on the bed with me. He leaned over me, his lower body pressing into mine as much as he would allow, his arm keeping most of his weight off of me. I dragged his lips to mine.
When his phone rang the first time, we were both able to ignore the pesky sound.
When his phone rang the second and third times, I let out a growl of frustration. "Who is it?"
"Probably Alice." He punctuated this statement by kissing his way across my collar bones and making his way down.
I gasped, my back arching involuntarily. "Ignore it."
When Edward's phone rang for what would be the thirteenth time in less than two minutes, both of us groaned.
"Just pick up," I grumbled, continuing to press kisses to his neck. "She'll just keep calling if you don't."
"You seem to be sending me mixed messages," he said with a wry grin, gently skimming one of his hands down my arm, then down my left side, brushing against my thigh. My breath hitched.
Then, said hand disappeared into his pocket, and the phone was at his ear in an instant. I glared at him and he smiled back impishly. "Hello, Alice. Bella and I are busy at the moment, so if you could-" He paused and his brow furrowed. "You want us to come do that now?" He sat up, and I followed, leaning my head on his shoulder, futilely trying to listen in on Alice's side of the conversation. I idly trailed my hand up and down his arm.
"Alice, I understand that wedding preparations are important." My hand stilled on his arm and I groaned quietly, burying my head in the back of his shoulder.
"Tell me Alice isn't trying to ruin a perfect afternoon with wedding preparations," I hissed in his ear.
He chuckled and turned his head to press a kiss to my cheek. "I know, Alice, but don't you think you're going a bit overboard?"
Suddenly, Edward's eyes tensed at the corners, and I could tell that whatever Alice said had bothered him. "Alright. We'll be there in a few minutes."
I stared at him incredulously, opening my mouth to protest. He pressed a finger to my lips. I narrowed my eyes at him as he shut the phone.
When he pulled his finger from my lips, I burst out with, "What was that all about?"
Edward shrugged. "She wants us to finalize a few things with her, that's all." The inflections in his voice as he said the words made me pause.
"You don't think this has anything to do with wedding preparations, do you?" I said, and my heart quickened slightly at the thought of this being about something else, something far worse than spending the day listening to Alice prattle on about flowers and color schemes.
He rubbed my back soothingly. "I know Alice, and she was trying to be far too convincing, even by her standards." He must have seen the beginnings of the panic I was feeling in my eyes because he leaned forward and kissed me gently. Gentle or not, he still left me breathless.
"Let's not panic prematurely," he said, his face still inches from mine, and the sweet smell of his breath made me woozy. I nodded.
Then, Edward stood up, pulling me to my feet. "Come on. Let's see what Alice has to tell us." He grinned suddenly and I laughed as he slung me onto his back and raced out of my house.
The run to Edward's was quiet, neither of us saying a word in the few minutes it took for him to travel between my house and his. I closed my eyes and let the gentle motion of his body moving swiftly through the trees lull me into a sense of calm.
When we arrived at his house, Edward set me on my feet and took my hand in his. I walked as closely to him as possible as he pushed open the door and headed straight for the living room.
Alice was sitting on the pristine, white couch, her legs pulled up under her. She looked tense and immediately, I was nervous again. Why would Alice be anxious about wedding preparations when all she'd done was flit about the house, a seemingly endless bouncing ball of energy, for the past two months? Edward went still next to me, and I responded in kind. If he was nervous, then obviously, I had reason to be.
Instantly, the atmosphere of the room calmed, and I felt my muscles relax. I hadn't noticed Jasper sitting next to Alice on the couch, his arm draped casually around her shoulders. I shot him a grateful glance.
"I take it this isn't about the wedding, then?" Edward said and I repressed a frustrated sigh. They must have been keeping their minds carefully blank, or they were concentrating on something else, meaning Edward couldn't figure out what this was all about until one of them told us themselves. The suspense was putting me on edge, even with Jasper's calming influence.
Alice shook her head. "No. It's not." She sighed and was about to get to the point when Edward's eyes widened and his grip on my hand tightened.
"No," he said, staring at Alice.
She winced but nodded. "I saw them yesterday. Not too soon, but-"
"Okay," I said, glancing back and forth between Edward and Alice. "For those of us who can't read minds or see the future, what exactly is going on? Humor the powerless human."
Jasper chuckled and Edward narrowed his eyes in his direction. Jasper continued to look completely unabashed. I couldn't help but smirk.
Alice rolled her eyes at the both of them. "Boys," she muttered. Then, she sighed. "Last night, I had a vision."
"I figured that out all on my own, thanks," I grumbled and Jasper choked back another laugh. I didn't think the vampires would ever get tired of my human reactions to things, including how easily frustrated I became when said vampires were being deliberately obtuse for the sole purpose of delaying the inevitable.
Alice slapped Jasper's knee and he settled down, but he was still unrepentant.
"Fine," she said. "Straight to the point then." She looked me straight in the eye. "I saw the Volturi making plans to come to Forks."
I froze where I stood, no longer frustrated or annoyed. The breath wheezed out of me in a strangled gasp. The Volturi had said they would come check on me some day to make sure that Edward had been true to his word and changed me into a vampire. Edward had sworn that it would take them years to come here, but deep down, I knew that they saw me as a threat. Humans weren't supposed to know about the vampire world.
I gripped Edward's hand in mine, heart pumping wildly, and turned to Alice. "When?"
"According to what I saw," she inhaled deeply. "A week after the wedding."
A week after the wedding. One week. Seven days. That wasn't enough time, and suddenly, there wasn't enough air in the room for me to breathe.
I was panicking. It was irrational, and I knew that, but for some reason, I couldn't get my lungs to work correctly, even as Edward grasped my shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, "Breathe, Bella! Everything is going to be fine!" I gripped his arms as tightly as I could, and he shot a glare behind me. "A little help?"
Suddenly, I found that I could breathe normally. My grip on Edward's arms relaxed, and a lazy smile slid across my face.
Edward was smiling, too, but not voluntarily. "That was overkill."
"Sorry," Jasper said, and even I could tell that he wasn't. "You wanted my help. At least now she isn't hyperventilating."
Edward didn't say anything in response, choosing instead to sit down in one of the plush armchairs across from Jasper and Alice. He pulled me down into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist protectively. "Do the others know yet?"
"No," Alice said with a shake of her head. "I wanted you - both of you - to be the first to know." I couldn't help but smile just a little. There had been a time when the Cullens would have done everything in their power to keep something like this from me until the last possible second. I was glad that they felt they could trust me with the news, even if I did panic at first. Edward was right - now wasn't the time to lose my head. "I couldn't help but tell Jasper, he was there when I had the vision," Alice finished.
"Naturally," Edward said, and then he sighed. "Do we have a plan?"
"The Volturi are coming for Bella, and only Bella. I couldn't tell if they're coming to bring her back to Italy," Edward's arms tightened around me, "Or if they're bringing Aro here. They seemed to be leaning towards the latter."
"Neither option sounds very appealing," Edward said, pressing a kiss to my neck. "I won't let her go to Italy alone, if that's the case."
"There's also the issue of time," I said, voicing my largest concern, the one that had caused my earlier episode. "If it takes three days to become a vampire, even if you change me right after the wedding, I'll only have four days, less than, to get used to- to not being human." What I hadn't said aloud was I would only have four days to get the uncontrollable urge a newborn vampire has to feed under control, to learn to hunt, to quite possibly discover what my power would be. Four days.
"We'll manage, Bella," Edward said, hugging me close to him. "You know I won't let anything happen to you."
"I just wish we had more time, that's all," I said, burying my head in his shoulder. We were always out of time, always pressed for time, always running against some invisible clock that was ticking against us. Not for the first time, I wished Edward and I could whisk away to our own personal island, where no one else could find us, and never have to leave.
Where no one else could find us... I lifted my head, the wheels of an idea beginning to turn. Wait a minute.
"What if there's no way for them to know where we are?" I said tentatively, a plan forming in my head.
Alice's eyebrows knitted together. "What do you mean?"
"Well," I hesitated and then blushed. "Edward was planning on taking me somewhere after the wedding." I ignored Jasper's knowing smirk, which only caused me to blush harder. "Sort of like a honeymoon."
Alice grinned wickedly. "I know. The family's been suggesting places nearby left and right for weeks, but he insists on dropping extremely subtle hints and refuses to tell us where he's taking you. Something about not wanting us to come barging in at an inopportune moment." Jasper snorted.
I had to be past the color of a ripened tomato by now, but I pressed forward. "Well, what if he just didn't tell you anything at all? If none of you know where we are, then if Aro's here, or if something goes wrong, he can't pull that information from your mind, right?"
There was silence as the three vampires stared at me. There was no question about it - my cheeks had to be purple now. "What?" I mumbled. "I'm not allowed to come up with a brilliant plan?"
"That's just it, Bella," Alice said, a smile sliding easily across her face. "It's so simple, it's brilliant." Her eyes glazed over for a moment, then her smile widened. "And it will work like a charm. Aro will be quite amused that the newlyweds wanted some extra time alone together." She chuckled. "You should get an extra two days before we figure out where you've gone."
"Two days?" I was barely able to gasp out.
"It's the best I can do, Bella. Take it or leave it."
I glanced at Edward. Tomorrow, we would be getting married. In less than a week, I would, quite possibly, be a vampire, because the Volturi would be here looking for me.
Why did we always have to cut these things so close?
I sighed. "I guess we don't really have a choice, do we?" I said, while my heart pounded furiously against my ribcage.
---
Time passed in and out in a blurry, pain-filled haze. I was never allowed the respite of sleep or unconsciousness. Every time I would feel myself falling over the precipice, so close I could see the darkness closing in on me, the fire within my body would roar back to life ten-fold, and I'd be wide awake again.
Not a moment went by that Edward wasn't at my side. At one point, I opened my eyes halfway to see him staring down at me, and the raw pain in his eyes must have mirrored the pain in mine.
"Bella," he said, cradling my face in his hands. "I'm-"
"Don't," I rasped. "Please, don't." Then, I couldn't say anything more, because if I opened my mouth again, I would scream. Instead, I bit my lip and clenched my hands into fists. I felt my entire body shake with the effort of keeping that one scream from clawing its way out of my throat.
"Don't make this harder on yourself, Bella," Alice said gently, brushing the hair out of my face. I saw her exchange a concerned glance with Edward.
I shook my head, vowing not to give in.
Then, the fire reached my head, and I was being engulfed by the flames.
I closed my eyes, withdrew back to my memories, and screamed.
---
“There are so many people.”
“There’s forty-five. That’s not that many, in fact, that’s fewer than were at your graduation party. Now, stop fidgeting and let me get this veil on your head.”
Alice gently pushed me back down into the chair I had been sitting in for the past four hours and counting, and positioned the delicate lace at the crown of my head. She shifted it this way and that until she was sure it was exactly the way she wanted it.
“There,” she said, satisfied.
“Can I look at myself now?” Alice had forbidden me from looking in a mirror until she was completely done, dress and shoes on, veil secure.
She could barely contain her excitement as she nodded. “Close your eyes.”
I sighed, but acquiesced, letting my eyes fall closed. She slowly pulled me to my feet and led me across the room to where I knew her closet to be. She positioned me in front of what I would assume was a full length mirror, and told me, “Okay. Open your eyes, Bella.”
I did, and was shocked by my own reflection. The dress Alice had picked out was a more modern version of a 1918 wedding dress, all white lace and satin. The dress was short sleeved and had a modest sweetheart neckline, with a row of tiny pearl buttons inching down the back. The veil was made of the same delicate lace as the dress. Alice had been smart and chosen shoes with a one-inch heel, a fact for which I was grateful - I was still terrified that I would trip down the aisle. Alice had pulled my hair up in a sleek twist, leaving a few tendrils down to frame my face. I could barely recognize myself.
“Edward is going to flip - in a good way,” Alice said. When I didn’t answer, she came around in front of me. “Do you like it?”
“Alice, I…I mean it’s…” I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say to her, so I settled on, “Thank you.”
Alice grinned from ear to ear. “You’re welcome. Now shoo, go wait on my bed. I have to get ready now. But don’t wrinkle your dress!” She yelled, and I laughed.
Forty-five minutes later, we were at the front door, getting ready to walk outside. I was a bundle of nerves, my heart pounding furiously.
Rosalie and Alice were getting ready to walk out ahead of me. Both of them looked stunning in navy blue strapless gowns. I had no idea how they’d gotten ready so fast. I wasn’t going to ask.
The two of them stepped out the door, and I could almost feel the anticipation from the guests. This is it, Bella, I thought to myself. There’s no turning back now. Taking a deep breath, I steeled my nerves and walked out the door and onto the porch.
---
I didn’t know how I thought I could handle this.
The pain was like nothing I’d ever felt before. It was burning, tearing me apart and putting me back together again. This was nothing like the fire of the small bite on my hand that James had given me. This was worse, so much worse. These were red-hot flames, and I was consumed by them, and there was no way to escape. I moaned in pain, my throat hoarse from screaming.
Cool hands reached out to me through the haze, caressing my face, my neck, my arms, any piece of skin they could reach. I arched up into the touch, the cold not nearly enough to douse the fire, but welcome all the same.
I felt him grab my hand and squeeze, but the pain… it was just too much. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think of something, anything else.
How had I thought I could handle this?
---
Edward stuck our bags into the closet, and if I didn’t know any better, I would swear he was taking his time on purpose. He turned around to say something to me, but I didn’t even give him the opportunity. I stood on my toes and crushed my mouth to his.
The wedding had gone off without a hitch, but if you had asked me what the minister said beyond asking us to repeat the vows, and the “I dos,” I wouldn’t be able to tell you. My eyes had been for Edward, all for Edward, watching me as if I were the most beautiful thing in his world.
Although I did remember the way his mouth had quirked, just a little, when the minister had said, “Till death do you part.”
Edward’s laughter vibrated against my lips while his arms snaked around my waist. “Impatient, are we?”
“You have no idea,” I said, trying to slide his jacket off of his shoulders. He chuckled again and released me for a moment to let the offending garment fall to the floor.
“Better?” He asked, laughter in his eyes.
“Not quite yet,” I said, what I hoped at least sounded coyly. “But we’re getting closer.” I started on his shirt, my fingers shaking, and I hadn’t even gotten one button undone when he gently grabbed my hands.
“Bella, love, slow down. Don’t rush this.” His eyes took on a wicked gleam, and I shivered as he kissed my throat, my shoulder, my jaw, the hollow of my ear, and then whispered, “We have all night.”
How could I argue with that? I nodded mutely, and Edward went to stand behind me, beginning to work on the long row of buttons down my back. He took his time, deliberately brushing his fingers against my skin each time another button was undone. By the time he was finished, I was trembling.
He kissed the back of my neck, then moved to stand in front of me. His eyes seemed to bore straight into mine as he slid the dress from my shoulders, letting it pool at my feet. He took my chin in his hand and kissed me.
I gasped as Edward lifted me off of my feet and gently placed me on the bed. I grabbed at his collar, pulling his lips back to mine while my fingers went back to their fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. When I finally felt the last little button slip out of its hole, I eagerly slid the material off of his shoulders, then ran my fingers down the newly-exposed skin of his chest.
My breath hitched when he reached behind me to deftly unhook my bra. I was more exposed then I had ever been before him, and I couldn’t help the blush that came over my cheeks.
Edward leaned forward and kissed me softly. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured against my lips. I only blushed harder, then moaned as my breasts came into contact with the cool skin of his chest.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I gasped against his lips.
His laughter rumbled through me.
---
My heart was beating faster than it ever had in my life. I wondered if this was normal, my heart beating so fast in response to the poison running through my system.
Edward leaned down and kissed my forehead, his cool lips a balm for the pain. I noticed his face looked slightly stricken. Even through the pain, I wanted to comfort him, to wipe that look from his eyes.
“Edward,” I whispered, “what’s-“
My breath cut off suddenly as the flames reared higher, exploding in my chest, and even though it just hurt all the more, I screeched, “Edward!”
Dimly, I registered that my heartbeat was beginning to slow, but I didn’t care, because the darkness was closing in on me again. Finally, everything did go black, and I fell into a blissful, dreaming unconsciousness for what I knew would be the final time.
---
The door burst open, slamming against the wall with force. I shot up in bed, clutching the sheet to my chest, heart pounding furiously. Edward was on his feet immediately. He moved so fast, I hadn't even realized he'd pulled his pants back on.
"Alice," he said, startled, and I was just as shocked as he was. "What are you-"
"I got here as soon as I could," she said and she was talking so fast, I only caught every other word. "I looked ahead to find you, and ugh," she grimaced. "I didn't want to see you doing what you were doing," I flushed scarlet at the insinuation, "but I happened to catch the name of the hotel on the pad next to the bed, so I got here as soon as I could, and-"
"Alice!" Edward said, grasping her shoulders. "You're talking so fast, even your thoughts are flying at a rapid pace. What's wrong?"
"The Volturi are coming early, Edward," she said frantically, and Edward stilled. "They're coming now. They must have known to use the loophole in my vision and made a snap decision, because I only saw them as they were about to board the plane. They'll be in Forks by morning."
I froze, my entire body going numb at her words. The Volturi were on their way to Forks, right now. Not a week from now, but tonight.
"Alice," Edward's voice was hoarse as he spoke, and he slowly dropped his hands from her shoulders to hang limply at his sides. "What exactly are you saying?"
Alice glanced behind Edward at me. Her eyes met mine for a fraction of a second and I nodded. I knew what had to be done.
Her eyes were focused on her brother as she spoke, her voice firm. "I'm saying that no one else knows where you are, but the rest of the family can only stall Aro for so long before he comes looking for you. I'm saying that if you're not home in three days, three days, Edward, things are going to get ugly.
I'm saying you have to change Bella, Edward. Tonight. Now."
Edward sat down heavily next to me on the bed and pulled me into his arms. He gently ran his hand through my hair.
Alice looked at the two of us and told Edward, “I’ll give you a few minutes to yourselves - but only a few minutes.”
I waited until the door closed behind her before I said anything. I tried to make light of the situation. "Well, we certainly like to do things on a tight deadline, don't we? Poor Alice will forever have to be on her toes."
This didn't have the intended effect. Instead of laughing, Edward pulled me closer, holding me as tightly as he could. "I'm so sorry, Bella."
I pushed away from his chest so I could look at his face. "Sorry?" I said, and I let him hear the surprise I was feeling in my voice. "For what?"
Edward dropped his eyes to my hands, where he was drawing idle patterns with his fingers in one of my palms. "I promised you I would change you because you were ready-"
"I am ready," I argued.
"And not because you're afraid," he finished, still not looking at me. "Not because there was a danger looming over our heads."
I closed my hand over his, and reached up to place my other hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes at the touch. "Edward, look at me." He did, and his amber eyes shone with shame. "This isn't your fault. This is what I want. I want to be with you, forever, for better or for worse. I don't think there will ever be a time when we're not facing some sort of danger, however small it may be. This is me we're talking about," I said, and then I pointed to myself. "Danger magnet, remember?"
His lips quirked. "I believe we established you were a magnet for trouble, didn't we?"
I smiled. "Right. Any trouble within a fifty mile radius will inevitably find me. And you've always been there to save me." I leaned forward and kissed him gently. "I love you. I will always love you." I stood up, wrapping the sheet around me. "So, stop apologizing for something you have absolutely no reason to be sorry for."
Edward said nothing, but his eyes followed my every movement as I pulled my bag out from the closet and began putting my clothes on. I was just finishing up when Alice walked back into the room.
"You're lucky you already have the private suite," she said, closing the door behind her. My heart picked up just a fraction as she slid the deadbolt into place. "Just in case, I went over and told the main office not to disturb you for the remainder of your stay."
"Thank you, Alice," Edward said, and I could tell that he meant for more than just ordering around the workers at the front desk.
Alice simply smiled, then looked at the both of us. She seemed hesitant. "Do you want me to be here, or..."
I opened my mouth to answer, but Edward was the one who responded, "I need you here, Alice. Just in case I-" He stopped abruptly, but we could both tell what he was about to say- Just in case I'm not able to stop.
Alice nodded and stayed standing by the door, but turned her eyes away when Edward turned back to me. He took my hand and led me over to the bed, situating us so that I was sitting on the edge and he was standing between my legs.
His eyes burned into mine as he asked, one final time, "Bella, are you sure?"
I knew there was no going back from this. I wanted to tell him of course I was sure. I wanted to tell him that I trusted him, that I loved him, that I was ready and not to worry.
But these were my last few moments as a human, and I knew what I wanted my memories of those last few moments with him to be. So instead, I held his face in my hands, putting all of that love and trust into my eyes, and simply told him, “Kiss me.”
And he did. Edward kissed me like he had never allowed himself to kiss me before, and I gasped with the intensity, the electricity of his lips against mine. Even while we’d had sex tonight, he hadn’t allowed himself to kiss me like this. It was almost as if he were convincing himself he could be in control, in his own way.
His tongue slid against my lips, and I groaned, opening my mouth to him. This was something he’d never allowed before - any time I’d tried, he’d kept his mouth firmly shut. I’d been frustrated, but hardly ever complained.
His tongue was as cool as the rest of him, like an ice cube sliding against my own, and I was finding it hard to breathe. Edward trailed his mouth from my lips to my jawbone, laying kiss after torturous, open mouthed kiss from my neck to my shoulder. When he reached the hollow of my throat, he paused and pressed his ear to my chest. I almost wept.
He was listening to my heart for what would probably be the last time.
Edward stayed still for a moment, his head against my chest, and I ran my fingers through his hair, not saying a word. Suddenly, he took a shuddering breath, cool against my skin. I shivered. He looked at me, caressing my face gently, as if memorizing every detail, taking in every nuance of my features before he bent his head to capture my lips again.
His kisses were, if possible, more insistent this time, and he gently pushed me backwards so I was lying back on the mattress, the entire line of his body pressing against mine. I writhed up against him, my arms around his shoulders as he kissed the hollow behind my ear.
“I love you, Bella,” he whispered, so quietly I wasn’t entirely sure he’d said anything at all. His lower body was pressing harder against mine, and one of his hands gently found both of my wrists as he kissed a trail down my throat. Distantly, I acknowledged that this was important, and that I should be paying closer attention to what was going on, but all I could feel was his cold, hard body pressing down the length of mine.
Then, his teeth sunk into my neck, and all I felt was fire.
To Be Continued