Reunions. Alex/Izzie. R.
The air in the house has changed, that's the first thing she notices as she enters and closes the door behind her. Sometimes the air used to be electric with so many people, but now it just feels like there has been a death and she thinks that's pretty appropriate. The quiet thuds in her ears so much so that it's painful and she can't help but feel a little bit responsible for everything leading up to this because after she left was when everyone got bullet holes shot through them. She can hardly hear her own footsteps up her stairs so she wonders if anyone else can. Her motions are automatic instead of thought out, she knows exactly where she's headed without thinking, like there is a magnet pulling her to him and she thinks there's always been.
He thinks he hears a hand on the doorknob, but he's not sure if he's dreaming so he just waits for what happens next. When the door opens and he sees her standing there, he's convinced it's a dream or he's having another near death experience because it can't be real, this cannot be real.
“Alex,” she breathes.
Her voice is better than he remembers.
It hurts to look at him, his chest is bruised so much that it's concerning and she doesn't even want to look under the thick mess of bandages that is covering the rest of it up. His face is pale and she almost considers taking his pulse because he looks more like a corpse than one of the living.
He moves slowly trying not to awaken the familiar pain that will no doubt rip though him at any second, but he really wants to look at her to make sure she's real.
Seeing him move makes her breathe a little in relief, at least he is not a corpse today and that's one thing they've got going for them.
He's managed to wrench himself into a position where he can see her properly and it only hurts half as bad to sit up. She looks as real as he's ever seen her and then he just has the overwhelming to cry ... like a baby, “Izzie...”
She all but flings herself across the bed to get to him faster almost forgetting that he's more fragile than usual and she has nothing to say except that she's sorry so she says it over and over again.
He doesn't want to hear it, doesn't want to hear anything, especially more fucking I'm sorry's, so he shakes his head no and prays that she catches on.
She does almost instantly and prides herself on being the one person who could truly read him like a book, it took long enough ... it took years, but in this moment it was worth it all; every fight, every tear, every break up.
Alex feels himself take a breath and it's the easiest he's breathed in months, since way before Gary Clarke tried his best to end him. She looks amazing, her hair is grown out, skin is glowing and she's close enough that he can smell her and she's never not smelled good to him.
Izzie stares, and the more she does, the more she sees the old Alex return, it starts in his eyes with that twinkle that she always managed to illicit when things were good and she smiles because it's so damn good to see that part of him again.
If there is anything Alex has learned in his life it is not to ask, not to look a gift horse in the mouth because in an hour, he could be alone again, so he just goes along with what is in front of him. "It's so good to see you," the bitterness and hurt have evaporated away faster than he thought possible, but she could always do that for him.
"It's so good to see you too, Alex … I'm so glad I can still see you." She's referring to the fact that he is not dead and the thought makes her shiver; this could've turned out very, very differently.
He nods sheepishly because he's still Alex and hearing people talk like that about his most recent experience is a little weird when he's spending most of his energy trying to avoid facing it. He hasn't been back to the hospital since it happened, mostly because he's nervous that they're going to force him to talk about it with some shrink who is just fucking noisy and doesn't really give a shit.
Alex has always been good at avoiding stuff.
"If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine … I understand." She just wants him to be present and she's kind of walking on egg shells not to scare him off, it's familiar territory.
As much as he loves her, it doesn't change the fact that he would rather physically relive the whole situation than talk about it. He knows eventually that he will have to and that'll require too much energy to make up some facade, the thoughts of it exaust him quickly, so he just lays back on the bed, taking her hand to pull her beside him. He loves how fast she settles and for a moment it's kind of like they're still them, she never had cancer and he never got shot.
Izzie can't help but be reminded of all the times in this room, all the endless nights of passion where she got to know him better than anyone else, deeper than anyone else. Alex is someone who gives parts of himself every time he lays down with someone, sometimes it's not really measurable with girls he doesn't care for but with Izzie, it was different and she knew that he always gave her everything he had through his intimacy. The thoughts of those nights can still make her shiver and suddenly all she wants is to taste his lips, but she's hesitant that he'll be hesitant and she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable because that could blow up everything in her face.
He settles against her in ernest and his eyes sting when she carefully starts raking her fingers through his hair. That was always her way of making him fall asleep and it always worked. He feels his eyes start to close within seconds and he listens to her heartbeat against his ear. Alex always did that when she was sick in the hospital, the thing that comforted him the most when she was sick was knowing that her heart was still beating.
They both lay together like reunited lovers who just lived through tragedy because that is exactly what they are.
Maybe they were meant to be after all …