Fic: Now, Soon, Later

[gnatty_bug]

Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Jack/Ten
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None, I think…
Lenght: 1k words
Challenge: Music
Summary: The Doctor has popped in for a visit. Jack is horny, Ianto is angsty, and the Doctor is still running.
Author’s Note: This very heavily based on the song of the same title from the Stephen Sondheim show, “A Little Night Music.” I was listening to

Comments

[shinodabear]

I really like the Later/Soon contrast. The only thing that throws me about that is the switch from 3rd to 1st person in the last section, but it really ties the whole fic together nicely.

I absolutely adore this line: Now, B might be effective, his body was fantastic, but the Doctor was never one to be superficial, probably because his own species changed so much, and Ianto had already seen him naked more times than he’d probably died.

It must be interesting for Time Lords to regenerate in the middle of a relationship. *G* And the Ianto bit was hilarious (and probably almost true.)

Just a couple of grammar things I spotted: "Prefect" instead of "perfect" in the second paragraph, and instead of "illusive" I think you might've meant "elusive".

Congrats on your second fic! I enjoyed it.

[gnatty_bug]

*quickly goes to fix the spelling/grammar errors* Thank you for pointing those out, I tend to write spontaneously, and if I don't post it straight away I never will, and thus have no beta.

Yay! It's liked! The switch felt a bit weird to me too. I'm not very fond of first person, but I couldn't picture the "soon" section in 3rd person. So I just went with it, and I still like how it turned out *nodnod*
There were giggles! I was hoping for giggles! At least in that section *squee*

[shinodabear]

I tend to write spontaneously, and if I don't post it straight away I never will, and thus have no beta

I know exactly what you mean! I'm the same way.

Really long comment, sorry.

[iamjabberwok]

You know, you can tell your piece was successful because I had to stop reading halfway through to listen to the song, then I read it again and loved it. I like the way you tie in Sondheim's words, it works really well. Especially in the places where you add bits to make it personal for the character. I don't usually quote things back at people, but my two favorite spots:

When is later? When he wants to contribute to a plan it is always later, Ianto, we know. Everyone agrees, Ianto, we’ll listen later, Ianto. You can go on a mission later, Ianto, but we need our coffee and coats.
and
But if I were perfect for you, wouldn’t you tire of me, like all the others? Just wait a little longer, it will happen soon, just don’t leave me after.

Lovely, they work really well. (one typo, You have the word "touch" twice in the Doctor's first line, and I don't think it's done on purpose...)
You should tackle the fugue that comes next in the song as a sequel. Perhaps some kind of conversation between the three? Really good idea. I liked it.

Re: Really long comment, sorry.

[gnatty_bug]

Long comment = good, just a little intimidating!

*Head explode at thought of a sequel* I wouldn't know what to write, I'm just not that clever.
*Ninja fixes typo* No one saw that either...

*Glee* Its a fabulous song! Glad you listened to it! Sondheim is a God with words, and melodies, and everything. But I was really worried I was leaning too heavily on what he had already written, so I'm relieved you think I found a good balance.

Thank you for the comment ^.^

Re: Really long comment, sorry.

[iamjabberwok]

I love typo-fixing ninjas. I have a herd of them :o)

[gnatty_bug]

O.o Nothing...? Well I'm glad you liked it, for sure!

Well, um, was my characterization okay...? *Values your opinion*

[gnatty_bug]

*Salutes* Thank you, ma'am!

[vail_kagami]

Lovely story! A great look on all of the, especially Jack and Ianto. And the a), b) part was just fantastic!

[gnatty_bug]

I can really take little claim for the a)/b) thing, that was all Sondhiem's idea - I just molded it to Jack. But I'm uber glad you liked it!!!

[harkness_101]

Ohh I loved it.
The end was very touching and I have no idea why (apart from the hormones of a young woman) but I had a few tears in my eyes.

Sorry to be a nit pick but I can't find sense in the following quote:
"and all he ever years is later from his friends"

Apart from that... Cool bananas ;)

[gnatty_bug]

Hears, not years >.< Gah, I thought I had better grammar/spelling than this!

Aaawww, yay for touching ending! I wanted something that tied everything together, so I did that, and hoped it worked XD

*Munches on Bananas*