The Setting Sun [Jack/Ten] (Paradox)
Pairing: Jack/Ten
Challenge: Paradox
Rating: PG
Warnings: Jack has seen saner moments.
Spoilers: None
Summary: There had been a reason for the Doctor to disable Jack's vortex manipulator.
The Doctor slowly unfolded his curled up body after the shockwave of the explosion washed over them. He lifted his head and looked at Jack and the human was frozen, unable to get off him, still shielding him with his own body against a danger that had passed. The eyes staring at him were full of shock - and growing horror. He knew. Jack could tell that he knew. Maybe it was an instinct Time Lords had. Maybe Jack did look that much older.
He didn’t move as the Doctor crawled away from him, just enough to breathe freely. He sat on the snowy ground, shaking. But alive. Unharmed. The human’s heart was racing.
“Oh Jack,” the Doctor said quietly, his sad gaze fixed on his friend’s face. “You shouldn’t have.”
-
Getting away without running into his younger self was hard but he managed, remembering where he’d been even after all these years; too far away, useless. The Doctor came to him later, when he was sitting on the beach, and together they looked into the sunset, in silence. Sometimes Jack glanced at the Doctor but the Doctor never glanced at him. When, after a long time, he did, Jack held his gaze for a second before he had to look away.
Could the Doctor see how many years had passed before he was able to fix his vortex manipulator?
It had been too long for him to feel sorry now, and even the look in the Time Lord’s eyes couldn’t make him feel regret.
It was the Doctor who spoke first.
“You should have known better,” he said.
Jack had no response for him. He knew better, but in the end it didn’t matter.
I was too weak, he didn’t say, and I’d do it again.
His fingers played with the rim of his wrist device.
“I disabled that for a reason,” the Doctor said softly.
Jack knew that. He understood when Owen died, for the first time, and he’d have done so much to bring him back. Had he been able to travel back in time to save him then he would have.
When he was a time agent he had the possibility to rewrite history all the time and never cared enough to do it. For that reason he had been accepted into the agency: He was smart, talented, and cold enough to just sit back and watch disaster happen when it had to. After meeting the Doctor he lost that distance. Learned to care about others enough to move the world to save them. The Doctor understood that. He saw how much Jack had changed when they met again, and did the only thing he could to protect him from doing something wrong, or from the guilt that would come with doing nothing: Take away the possibility to do anything.
He knew the dangers. As did Jack. In the end the emptiness had been stronger.
The Doctor was so calm it was almost painful. Only after a long time did Jack realise that the Time Lord did not know what to do. In a way he was as lost as Jack had been, all those many years ago. He didn’t know what had happened after the Doctor and his younger self parted ways earlier this day as for him it had never happened. From now on he existed twice, two timelines in one universe.
“What happens now?” he wanted to know. The Doctor sighed.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Something’s gone wrong and that something is me. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“It doesn’t need fixing,” Jack told him, without taking his eyes off the horizon. “It’s already been fixed.”
The Doctor’s silence told him how little he even understood what he had done.
-
The universe shivered. Jack couldn’t feel it but the Doctor did and Jack sensed his reluctance to leave the TARDIS. He began to understand why when they first stopped on a distant planet and everyone they met ignored his Time Lord, as if he wasn’t there. There was a brief flash of confusion whenever he addressed them, the almost audible question how they could not have noticed this man before - and one second later the Doctor was gone from their minds again. If it bothered him the Doctor didn’t let it show; Jack saw the pain in his eyes only when the Time Lord saved a person, a planet, a galaxy and felt reality tearing at the seams.
“It’s only natural,” he explained one day when their work was done and they returned to the TARDIS in the light of another setting sun. “I don’t officially exist anymore. My time has ended and for them I am not really there. Our timelines were never meant to touch. Whatever I do is threatening the fragile balance of reality because it wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m not sure I can tell when I’m pushing too far.”
“Stop, then,” Jack shrugged. “Let me do the heroic stuff. Just sit back and let things happen.”
The Doctor shook his head, sadly.
“I can’t do that.”
-
The Doctor’s sleep became restless. He woke from nightmares after too short a time, was nervous and distressed more often than not but also strangely calm. He had no place in this world anymore and was aware of it any moment. The cosmos didn’t want him.
“Why did you have to do it?” he once asked with bitterness in his voice, the one time he came close to blaming Jack for his situation as he was right to do. “It was time. I was ready.”
Jack had no words to explain. When he took the other into his arms the Time Lord did not push him away.
“I’m a shadow now,” he whispered into Jack’s shoulder, sounding strangely broken. “An echo. Everything I do is wrong.”
-
At some point a time agent noted the disturbances surrounding the Doctor and came to get rid of them, and Jack nearly laughed when he saw that it was him: younger, colder, less experienced. It was easy to stop him because he knew all his tricks. In the end he got a hold of him and erased his memories of this encounter and the two years before with a vague feeling of righteousness.
-
Because the Doctor never died Jack never had a reason to go back and save him, and so he never did. Because he didn't save him the Doctor died and Jack went back to prevent it. The Time Lords were extinct - yet they weren't. Reality had no way of dealing with such things, not anymore.
-
There was only one way out of the dilemma Jack had caused. The Doctor tried to take it when his existence became too much for him to bear but Jack was there to stop him. He locked him in, kept him safe. He had done this - it made the Doctor his responsibility, his to care for. It was a task he accepted gladly, and if the universe ended outside the TARDIS he didn’t care. Somewhere out there another him was fighting evil in their place.
-
When at night Jack came for him the Doctor didn’t struggle.
July 2, 2008
Challenge: Paradox
Rating: PG
Warnings: Jack has seen saner moments.
Spoilers: None
Summary: There had been a reason for the Doctor to disable Jack's vortex manipulator.
The Doctor slowly unfolded his curled up body after the shockwave of the explosion washed over them. He lifted his head and looked at Jack and the human was frozen, unable to get off him, still shielding him with his own body against a danger that had passed. The eyes staring at him were full of shock - and growing horror. He knew. Jack could tell that he knew. Maybe it was an instinct Time Lords had. Maybe Jack did look that much older.
He didn’t move as the Doctor crawled away from him, just enough to breathe freely. He sat on the snowy ground, shaking. But alive. Unharmed. The human’s heart was racing.
“Oh Jack,” the Doctor said quietly, his sad gaze fixed on his friend’s face. “You shouldn’t have.”
-
Getting away without running into his younger self was hard but he managed, remembering where he’d been even after all these years; too far away, useless. The Doctor came to him later, when he was sitting on the beach, and together they looked into the sunset, in silence. Sometimes Jack glanced at the Doctor but the Doctor never glanced at him. When, after a long time, he did, Jack held his gaze for a second before he had to look away.
Could the Doctor see how many years had passed before he was able to fix his vortex manipulator?
It had been too long for him to feel sorry now, and even the look in the Time Lord’s eyes couldn’t make him feel regret.
It was the Doctor who spoke first.
“You should have known better,” he said.
Jack had no response for him. He knew better, but in the end it didn’t matter.
I was too weak, he didn’t say, and I’d do it again.
His fingers played with the rim of his wrist device.
“I disabled that for a reason,” the Doctor said softly.
Jack knew that. He understood when Owen died, for the first time, and he’d have done so much to bring him back. Had he been able to travel back in time to save him then he would have.
When he was a time agent he had the possibility to rewrite history all the time and never cared enough to do it. For that reason he had been accepted into the agency: He was smart, talented, and cold enough to just sit back and watch disaster happen when it had to. After meeting the Doctor he lost that distance. Learned to care about others enough to move the world to save them. The Doctor understood that. He saw how much Jack had changed when they met again, and did the only thing he could to protect him from doing something wrong, or from the guilt that would come with doing nothing: Take away the possibility to do anything.
He knew the dangers. As did Jack. In the end the emptiness had been stronger.
The Doctor was so calm it was almost painful. Only after a long time did Jack realise that the Time Lord did not know what to do. In a way he was as lost as Jack had been, all those many years ago. He didn’t know what had happened after the Doctor and his younger self parted ways earlier this day as for him it had never happened. From now on he existed twice, two timelines in one universe.
“What happens now?” he wanted to know. The Doctor sighed.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Something’s gone wrong and that something is me. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“It doesn’t need fixing,” Jack told him, without taking his eyes off the horizon. “It’s already been fixed.”
The Doctor’s silence told him how little he even understood what he had done.
-
The universe shivered. Jack couldn’t feel it but the Doctor did and Jack sensed his reluctance to leave the TARDIS. He began to understand why when they first stopped on a distant planet and everyone they met ignored his Time Lord, as if he wasn’t there. There was a brief flash of confusion whenever he addressed them, the almost audible question how they could not have noticed this man before - and one second later the Doctor was gone from their minds again. If it bothered him the Doctor didn’t let it show; Jack saw the pain in his eyes only when the Time Lord saved a person, a planet, a galaxy and felt reality tearing at the seams.
“It’s only natural,” he explained one day when their work was done and they returned to the TARDIS in the light of another setting sun. “I don’t officially exist anymore. My time has ended and for them I am not really there. Our timelines were never meant to touch. Whatever I do is threatening the fragile balance of reality because it wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m not sure I can tell when I’m pushing too far.”
“Stop, then,” Jack shrugged. “Let me do the heroic stuff. Just sit back and let things happen.”
The Doctor shook his head, sadly.
“I can’t do that.”
-
The Doctor’s sleep became restless. He woke from nightmares after too short a time, was nervous and distressed more often than not but also strangely calm. He had no place in this world anymore and was aware of it any moment. The cosmos didn’t want him.
“Why did you have to do it?” he once asked with bitterness in his voice, the one time he came close to blaming Jack for his situation as he was right to do. “It was time. I was ready.”
Jack had no words to explain. When he took the other into his arms the Time Lord did not push him away.
“I’m a shadow now,” he whispered into Jack’s shoulder, sounding strangely broken. “An echo. Everything I do is wrong.”
-
At some point a time agent noted the disturbances surrounding the Doctor and came to get rid of them, and Jack nearly laughed when he saw that it was him: younger, colder, less experienced. It was easy to stop him because he knew all his tricks. In the end he got a hold of him and erased his memories of this encounter and the two years before with a vague feeling of righteousness.
-
Because the Doctor never died Jack never had a reason to go back and save him, and so he never did. Because he didn't save him the Doctor died and Jack went back to prevent it. The Time Lords were extinct - yet they weren't. Reality had no way of dealing with such things, not anymore.
-
There was only one way out of the dilemma Jack had caused. The Doctor tried to take it when his existence became too much for him to bear but Jack was there to stop him. He locked him in, kept him safe. He had done this - it made the Doctor his responsibility, his to care for. It was a task he accepted gladly, and if the universe ended outside the TARDIS he didn’t care. Somewhere out there another him was fighting evil in their place.
-
When at night Jack came for him the Doctor didn’t struggle.
July 2, 2008