[Fic] Believe
Title: Believe
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: none really, worksafe
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Tuti believes in Nagayan, even when they're not together.
Notes: This is my explanation for Tuti's lack of posting about going to Nagayan's most recent play. *nodnod* Because I really couldn't deal with the idea of him just not going. Because I'm a dork. ^_^;; Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Comments are greatly appreciated. ^_^
Tuti pressed his half-finished cigarette into the sidewalk with the back of his heel and leaned against the wall of the large stone building, feeling the cold begin to seep into him through his jacket. He berated himself a little again, for being so stupid as to wait out here in the freezing cold for someone who would probably be less than happy to see him. It was the last night of the run too, and Tuti was sure Takashi had already made plans to celebrate with his fellow cast members. However he looked at it, showing up here had been a stupid idea.
Something told him to wait anyway though, and so he did.
A few minutes passed before Tuti heard voices quickly approaching around the corner of the building and he froze for a moment, straightening his stance instinctively, despite his immediate urge to turn, and disappear into the crowded street.
Takashi was laughing, and his voice rose above the other sounds for a second, just before he passed the corner where Tuti was standing.
“Takashi!” Tuti said the word loudly, trying to raise his voice above the din of the street, and repeated himself, louder, until the other man turned around.
Takashi looked surprised, and the smile took a few seconds to fall from his face, before his features twisted into something unreadable. Tuti felt his stomach clench a little as he watched Takashi extract himself from the group he’d been walking with quickly, jogging over several paces until he was facing Tuti on the sidewalk.
Takashi’s voice was hurried and a little breathless when he spoke. “I didn’t know you were coming. You should have said something. I could have-”
“I know. It’s ok,” Tuti said, and tried to smile.
“Why didn’t you come backstage?”
Tuti shrugged. He could see now that Takashi’s face was flushed from the cold, and that there were traces of stage makeup around the corners of his eyes, and around his ears as the other man looked up at him, frowning a little.
“You could have,” Takashi finished, studying Tuti intently for a moment before he averted his eyes.
“I know.”
Takashi stared at him for another second before he shook his head. “So what did you think?” he asked tentatively.
“I really enjoyed it,” Tuti told him honestly.
Takashi glanced over his shoulder, seeming a little distracted. “I’m glad,” he said quietly.
Tuti was confused for a second, before he realized that Takashi’s friends were waiting for him. “Well, I’ll let you get back to-”
“You should come with us,” Takashi said quickly, glancing up at Tuti, his voice shaking a little. “We’re going to…” Then Takashi laughed. “Actually, I don’t even know the name of it. Some bar a few blocks over from here.” He paused. “You’d like it,” he added, smiling tentatively.
“I can’t, I-”
“Oh.” Takashi said hurriedly, his face darkening a little. “Ok, well…”
“I mean, I have to meet Eiji and everyone in an hour.” Tuti found himself softening his voice apologetically. “By the time we got there, I’d barely have time to get a drink.”
Tuti watched Takashi study him, and he shifted a little uncomfortably under the other man’s gaze. Takashi’s features lightened after a moment though, and Tuti watched something flash in his eyes for a second before he smiled.
“Stay here, ok?” Takashi told him, and the determined look in his eyes told Tuti that there was no point in arguing.
Takashi jogged back over to his friends, gesturing to Tuti over his shoulder. He watched as at least one member of the group eyed him suspiciously, causing him to shift uncomfortably as he waited for Takashi to return.
Takashi was back in less than a minute though, and Tuti watched over the smaller man’s shoulder, as the group made it’s way down the street, and Takashi fixed his eyes on him.
“You don’t have plans?” Tuti asked.
Takashi shook his head in dismissal. “I’ll meet them there. You at least have time for coffee, right? Before you meet Eiji?”
Something in Takashi’s eyes made him blink several times. “Sure,” he said, though his mouth was suddenly dry. He swallowed hard and followed Takashi when he turned, not bothering to consider whether he actually had time or not.
The coffee shop was just around the corner, and Tuti was grateful when Takashi ordered for both of them, because suddenly he was so nervous he could barely think straight.
He had never been good at apologizing, but he knew what he had to do. Fixing things between him and Takashi had been the point of tonight, after all, he told himself. He’d wanted to smooth things over, although when he was completely honest with himself he realized that he must not have really thought that he’d actually have this opportunity. Tuti swallowed again though, realizing that Takashi was staring at him.
“I’m really glad you came to the show.” Takashi lowered his voice a little. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Tuti found himself saying, a little lamely.
There was a long pause before Takashi spoke again. “I thought for sure if you were coming you’d have been here with Eiji the other night.”
“Takashi-”
The other man sighed, and when his eyes fell on Tuti again they seemed tired, and a little sad. “Tuti, I didn’t bring you here to-”
“I know.”
And suddenly Tuti felt his breath catch, as he realized that Takashi’s eyes were glistening, and that the other man’s voice was shaking.
“Look, I’m sorry, ok?” Takashi paused for a second, glancing at Tuti. “I just… I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, and I’m sorry that I didn’t call, and that I acted like such an idiot, and…”
Tuti watched as Takashi turned away for a second, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes quickly. The other man laughed a second later though.
“Well, so much for that plan,” he said, sounding amused and a little frustrated.
“What plan?” Tuti asked reflexively.
“The one where I don’t make an ass out of myself.” Takashi laughed again, winking, though Tuti was sure he wasn’t entirely joking.
“You didn’t, I…”
But Takashi was shaking his head. “Never mind. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Tuti wasn’t really listening though. “Takashi, I’m sorry too, ok?”
There was a long pause before Takashi spoke. “Don’t say that.”
“Why?” Tuti said quickly. “I mean it.”
“That doesn’t mean I want to hear it!” And suddenly Takashi’s eyes were dark and angry. “This was a stupid idea,” he announced, and started to get up.
“I miss you,” Tuti said the words loudly, loud enough to bring a distinct flush to Takashi’s cheeks as several heads turned in their direction, and then quickly looked away. “I miss you, ok?” Tuti continued, softer. “And I really am sorry. For everything.” Tuti paused, swallowing hard past the tightness in his throat. “I love you,” he finished, watching Takashi’s face flush a little more.
Tuti watched too, as Takashi sank back down into the heavy wooden chair and sighed, resting his elbows on the table and leaning forward, loosely folding his hands in front of him. Tuti hesitated for a second before reaching over and wrapping his fingers around Takashi’s hands gently.
“Baka,” Takashi whispered, closing his eyes. “Why didn’t you just say that before?”
Tuti laughed, mostly out of relief. “Because I thought you’d get mad.”
Takashi frowned but tightened his fingers around Tuti’s where they had somehow become laced together. “I missed you too.”
“Really?”
“Of course! Are you crazy?” Takashi laughed, and then lowered his voice. “Of course I did.”
“Then why didn’t you call?”
Takashi shrugged a little defensively. “I don’t know. I think was waiting until the show was over. Just in case.”
“In case?”
“In case I was really disappointed,” Takashi said quietly.
Tuti moved his fingers along Takashi’s wrist, creeping underneath the fabric there and feeling the soft hairs on Takashi’s arm standing on end at his touch.
“You thought I wouldn’t take you back in a second?” he asked softly.
Takashi blinked at Tuti across the table. “Does that mean you will?”
“Of course I will.”
Takashi blinked several times, slowly, before his eyes flashed with desire, and his lips curled into a slight smile. “What if I said you had to kiss me? Right now.”
Tuti knew that Takashi had probably been kidding, but… He sat up straight and leaned across the table, grabbing Takashi’s wrists and pulling him forward a little, enjoying the other man’s look of surprise before he pressed their lips together. Takashi’s touch was soft and gentle at first, but Tuti felt his lips part eagerly at the flicker of Takashi’s tongue, as they both allowed the kiss to deepen. Their tongues slid together in a moment of friction that sent a welcome shiver down Tuti’s spine, before he pulled away reluctantly, reminding himself that they were in public, not to mention right in front of a window that overlooked one of the busiest streets in the neighborhood. He glanced at Takashi, enjoying the look of glazed over pleasure that seemed to have taken over the other man’s face, as he tried his best not to worry about whether or not anyone had seen them.
Takashi blinked slowly, tilting his head, and biting his bottom lip slightly after a moment. “I thought you had to be somewhere,” he asked Tuti with a sly smile.
“I thought you had to be somewhere.” Tuti winked. “What about all those people waiting for you?”
Takashi’s smile widened for a second before he raised his eyebrows hopefully. “You sure you can’t come?”
Tuti nodded. “But how about a compromise?” he offered.
Takashi lowered his eyes. “What kind of compromise?”
“You tell that tall guy with the messy hair he doesn’t need to look out for you-”
Takashi let out a surprised laugh. “What are you talking about?”
“He glared at me! When I was waiting for you to come back.”
“You’re crazy.” Takashi rolled his eyes. “I barely know any of those guys.”
Tuti grinned. “Fine. Then just have a good time tonight, don’t flirt too much, and,” Tuti grinned again, wider this time, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “I’ll be there when you get home, ok?
Takashi grinned back at him, a little mischievously. “I can’t guarantee I’ll be completely sober come then.” He winked. “It’s been a long week, after all.”
“Same here.”
“Fine.” Takashi smiled. “Agreed. I’ll sneak out early.”
“Me too.”
They got up from the table, making their way past the tangle of chairs in the coffee shop before finding themselves outside on the street again. Takashi insisted on walking him to the train, and Tuti found that he couldn’t argue. They were quiet, but Tuti found that he was content to just enjoy the press of their shoulders together, as they walked down the busy street.
Tuti glanced at Takashi after a moment though, raising his eyebrows at the curious smile on the other man’s face.
“What?” Tuti asked.
Takashi studied him for a second as they walked. “I was just thinking that we really need to stop doing this.”
“What, breaking up, or getting back together?” Tuti asked, smiling.
“Baka,” Takashi laughed. “I’m serious.”
“I know,” Tuti said softly. “How about we make this the last time, ok?”
Takashi laughed, but his eyes were dark as he nodded.
They were almost to the train, and Tuti glanced at his watch, cringing a little at the time. Well, at least he was showing up, he told himself.
“So you really enjoyed the show?” Takashi was asking, as they arrived at the stairs leading down to the platform.
“I did.” Tuti smiled, figuring that he was already late, and so it really didn’t matter if he was delayed a little longer. “You were great. I love watching you.” Then he frowned a little. “I’m sorry I only came once.”
Takashi shook his head. “It’s ok.”
Tuti watched Takashi for a second, before he stepped to the side of the stairs, quickly pulling the other man close. “I love you,” he whispered into Takashi’s ear.
“Me too,” he heard the other man say quietly, as he relaxed his grip.
“And I was serious,” Takashi pouted a little, taking a small step backwards so that he could see Tuti’s face. “No more breaking up over stupid arguments.”
“Agreed.” Tuti smiled. “Call me when you’re on your way home, ok?” He said after a second.
Takashi nodded.
“And be careful,” Tuti added.
Takashi laughed and nodded again, and Tuti watched as the other man gave him a soft smile, the one that always seemed to melt everything inside of him in an instant, before he turned the corner and waved, disappearing from view.
And Tuti was sure he should be surprised, but… It always seemed to come back to this in the end, he was thinking, as he sat down on the train several minutes later.
Even after weeks of not speaking, or even in the middle of their biggest fights, he found that somehow he just believed in Takashi. He believed in them together too - that they were good for each other. He was pretty sure that Takashi felt the same way, and he wondered if this was what made nights like this possible. Tuti smiled to himself for a moment though, remembering Takashi’s soft smile. That could be part of it too, he was thinking to himself, chuckling a little. Takashi was irresistible, and he was weak. Or maybe they were just stupid. He sighed. Because he knew it didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was getting this *pnish* thing over with quickly, because he really, really missed Takashi. Already.
Before he’d realized it though, the train had arrived at his stop. Tuti climbed the steps leading from the platform two at a time, and just as he’d reached street level, he heard the jingle of his cell phone. He grimaced, thinking it was Eiji calling to yell at him for being late, but as he glanced down at the display, he realized with a start of surprise that it wasn’t Eiji.
“Takashi? What’s wrong?”
Tuti heard Takashi laugh on the other end of the line. “Nothing’s wrong. You said to call when I was on my way, remember?”
“Well yeah, but…” Tuti was confused.
“Well…” Takashi let out a guilty sigh. “Actually, I’m home already.” And Tuti could hear the smile in his voice.
“What do you mean you’re home? What about the bar?”
“I didn’t feel like it anymore.” Takashi lowered his voice. “Is that ok?”
“Of course, I mean…” Tuti cleared his throat.
“So hurry up, ok?”
Tuti nodded to himself, a little dazed by the husky quality of Takashi’s voice, and then remembered that he was on the phone. “Ok,” he told Takashi, smiling, as he tried not to sound as excited as he suddenly felt. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Tuti stood there for a second after he’d hung up, trying to decide what to do. He didn’t have to think for very long though, as he scrolled down to Eiji’s number on his phone.
He was sure Eiji would be furious, but…
“Look, Eiji, something’s come up, and-” Tuti was saying a second later. He paused.
“What do you mean you know?” Then Tuti laughed. “Yeah, we did, but…” Tuti laughed again. “Thanks.”
He hung up his phone, smiling, as he walked back to the train, wondering how on earth Eiji could have known he wasn’t going to make it, but not really caring. He felt the anticipation settling in the pit of his stomach too, fluttering and dancing inside of him, just at the thought of being alone with Takashi tonight.
He believed in this too, he realized - in this feeling - maybe most of all, even though deep down he knew that there was a lot more to it than this.
Somehow it brought a smile to his lips anyway though, because he knew that even if there wasn’t anything else, just this feeling would be enough. Actually, it would be more than enough, Tuti decided, his lips curling into a smile as he closed his eyes, and leaned back against the wall of the train car.
***
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: none really, worksafe
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Tuti believes in Nagayan, even when they're not together.
Notes: This is my explanation for Tuti's lack of posting about going to Nagayan's most recent play. *nodnod* Because I really couldn't deal with the idea of him just not going. Because I'm a dork. ^_^;; Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Comments are greatly appreciated. ^_^
Tuti pressed his half-finished cigarette into the sidewalk with the back of his heel and leaned against the wall of the large stone building, feeling the cold begin to seep into him through his jacket. He berated himself a little again, for being so stupid as to wait out here in the freezing cold for someone who would probably be less than happy to see him. It was the last night of the run too, and Tuti was sure Takashi had already made plans to celebrate with his fellow cast members. However he looked at it, showing up here had been a stupid idea.
Something told him to wait anyway though, and so he did.
A few minutes passed before Tuti heard voices quickly approaching around the corner of the building and he froze for a moment, straightening his stance instinctively, despite his immediate urge to turn, and disappear into the crowded street.
Takashi was laughing, and his voice rose above the other sounds for a second, just before he passed the corner where Tuti was standing.
“Takashi!” Tuti said the word loudly, trying to raise his voice above the din of the street, and repeated himself, louder, until the other man turned around.
Takashi looked surprised, and the smile took a few seconds to fall from his face, before his features twisted into something unreadable. Tuti felt his stomach clench a little as he watched Takashi extract himself from the group he’d been walking with quickly, jogging over several paces until he was facing Tuti on the sidewalk.
Takashi’s voice was hurried and a little breathless when he spoke. “I didn’t know you were coming. You should have said something. I could have-”
“I know. It’s ok,” Tuti said, and tried to smile.
“Why didn’t you come backstage?”
Tuti shrugged. He could see now that Takashi’s face was flushed from the cold, and that there were traces of stage makeup around the corners of his eyes, and around his ears as the other man looked up at him, frowning a little.
“You could have,” Takashi finished, studying Tuti intently for a moment before he averted his eyes.
“I know.”
Takashi stared at him for another second before he shook his head. “So what did you think?” he asked tentatively.
“I really enjoyed it,” Tuti told him honestly.
Takashi glanced over his shoulder, seeming a little distracted. “I’m glad,” he said quietly.
Tuti was confused for a second, before he realized that Takashi’s friends were waiting for him. “Well, I’ll let you get back to-”
“You should come with us,” Takashi said quickly, glancing up at Tuti, his voice shaking a little. “We’re going to…” Then Takashi laughed. “Actually, I don’t even know the name of it. Some bar a few blocks over from here.” He paused. “You’d like it,” he added, smiling tentatively.
“I can’t, I-”
“Oh.” Takashi said hurriedly, his face darkening a little. “Ok, well…”
“I mean, I have to meet Eiji and everyone in an hour.” Tuti found himself softening his voice apologetically. “By the time we got there, I’d barely have time to get a drink.”
Tuti watched Takashi study him, and he shifted a little uncomfortably under the other man’s gaze. Takashi’s features lightened after a moment though, and Tuti watched something flash in his eyes for a second before he smiled.
“Stay here, ok?” Takashi told him, and the determined look in his eyes told Tuti that there was no point in arguing.
Takashi jogged back over to his friends, gesturing to Tuti over his shoulder. He watched as at least one member of the group eyed him suspiciously, causing him to shift uncomfortably as he waited for Takashi to return.
Takashi was back in less than a minute though, and Tuti watched over the smaller man’s shoulder, as the group made it’s way down the street, and Takashi fixed his eyes on him.
“You don’t have plans?” Tuti asked.
Takashi shook his head in dismissal. “I’ll meet them there. You at least have time for coffee, right? Before you meet Eiji?”
Something in Takashi’s eyes made him blink several times. “Sure,” he said, though his mouth was suddenly dry. He swallowed hard and followed Takashi when he turned, not bothering to consider whether he actually had time or not.
The coffee shop was just around the corner, and Tuti was grateful when Takashi ordered for both of them, because suddenly he was so nervous he could barely think straight.
He had never been good at apologizing, but he knew what he had to do. Fixing things between him and Takashi had been the point of tonight, after all, he told himself. He’d wanted to smooth things over, although when he was completely honest with himself he realized that he must not have really thought that he’d actually have this opportunity. Tuti swallowed again though, realizing that Takashi was staring at him.
“I’m really glad you came to the show.” Takashi lowered his voice a little. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Tuti found himself saying, a little lamely.
There was a long pause before Takashi spoke again. “I thought for sure if you were coming you’d have been here with Eiji the other night.”
“Takashi-”
The other man sighed, and when his eyes fell on Tuti again they seemed tired, and a little sad. “Tuti, I didn’t bring you here to-”
“I know.”
And suddenly Tuti felt his breath catch, as he realized that Takashi’s eyes were glistening, and that the other man’s voice was shaking.
“Look, I’m sorry, ok?” Takashi paused for a second, glancing at Tuti. “I just… I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, and I’m sorry that I didn’t call, and that I acted like such an idiot, and…”
Tuti watched as Takashi turned away for a second, wiping the back of his hand across his eyes quickly. The other man laughed a second later though.
“Well, so much for that plan,” he said, sounding amused and a little frustrated.
“What plan?” Tuti asked reflexively.
“The one where I don’t make an ass out of myself.” Takashi laughed again, winking, though Tuti was sure he wasn’t entirely joking.
“You didn’t, I…”
But Takashi was shaking his head. “Never mind. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Tuti wasn’t really listening though. “Takashi, I’m sorry too, ok?”
There was a long pause before Takashi spoke. “Don’t say that.”
“Why?” Tuti said quickly. “I mean it.”
“That doesn’t mean I want to hear it!” And suddenly Takashi’s eyes were dark and angry. “This was a stupid idea,” he announced, and started to get up.
“I miss you,” Tuti said the words loudly, loud enough to bring a distinct flush to Takashi’s cheeks as several heads turned in their direction, and then quickly looked away. “I miss you, ok?” Tuti continued, softer. “And I really am sorry. For everything.” Tuti paused, swallowing hard past the tightness in his throat. “I love you,” he finished, watching Takashi’s face flush a little more.
Tuti watched too, as Takashi sank back down into the heavy wooden chair and sighed, resting his elbows on the table and leaning forward, loosely folding his hands in front of him. Tuti hesitated for a second before reaching over and wrapping his fingers around Takashi’s hands gently.
“Baka,” Takashi whispered, closing his eyes. “Why didn’t you just say that before?”
Tuti laughed, mostly out of relief. “Because I thought you’d get mad.”
Takashi frowned but tightened his fingers around Tuti’s where they had somehow become laced together. “I missed you too.”
“Really?”
“Of course! Are you crazy?” Takashi laughed, and then lowered his voice. “Of course I did.”
“Then why didn’t you call?”
Takashi shrugged a little defensively. “I don’t know. I think was waiting until the show was over. Just in case.”
“In case?”
“In case I was really disappointed,” Takashi said quietly.
Tuti moved his fingers along Takashi’s wrist, creeping underneath the fabric there and feeling the soft hairs on Takashi’s arm standing on end at his touch.
“You thought I wouldn’t take you back in a second?” he asked softly.
Takashi blinked at Tuti across the table. “Does that mean you will?”
“Of course I will.”
Takashi blinked several times, slowly, before his eyes flashed with desire, and his lips curled into a slight smile. “What if I said you had to kiss me? Right now.”
Tuti knew that Takashi had probably been kidding, but… He sat up straight and leaned across the table, grabbing Takashi’s wrists and pulling him forward a little, enjoying the other man’s look of surprise before he pressed their lips together. Takashi’s touch was soft and gentle at first, but Tuti felt his lips part eagerly at the flicker of Takashi’s tongue, as they both allowed the kiss to deepen. Their tongues slid together in a moment of friction that sent a welcome shiver down Tuti’s spine, before he pulled away reluctantly, reminding himself that they were in public, not to mention right in front of a window that overlooked one of the busiest streets in the neighborhood. He glanced at Takashi, enjoying the look of glazed over pleasure that seemed to have taken over the other man’s face, as he tried his best not to worry about whether or not anyone had seen them.
Takashi blinked slowly, tilting his head, and biting his bottom lip slightly after a moment. “I thought you had to be somewhere,” he asked Tuti with a sly smile.
“I thought you had to be somewhere.” Tuti winked. “What about all those people waiting for you?”
Takashi’s smile widened for a second before he raised his eyebrows hopefully. “You sure you can’t come?”
Tuti nodded. “But how about a compromise?” he offered.
Takashi lowered his eyes. “What kind of compromise?”
“You tell that tall guy with the messy hair he doesn’t need to look out for you-”
Takashi let out a surprised laugh. “What are you talking about?”
“He glared at me! When I was waiting for you to come back.”
“You’re crazy.” Takashi rolled his eyes. “I barely know any of those guys.”
Tuti grinned. “Fine. Then just have a good time tonight, don’t flirt too much, and,” Tuti grinned again, wider this time, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “I’ll be there when you get home, ok?
Takashi grinned back at him, a little mischievously. “I can’t guarantee I’ll be completely sober come then.” He winked. “It’s been a long week, after all.”
“Same here.”
“Fine.” Takashi smiled. “Agreed. I’ll sneak out early.”
“Me too.”
They got up from the table, making their way past the tangle of chairs in the coffee shop before finding themselves outside on the street again. Takashi insisted on walking him to the train, and Tuti found that he couldn’t argue. They were quiet, but Tuti found that he was content to just enjoy the press of their shoulders together, as they walked down the busy street.
Tuti glanced at Takashi after a moment though, raising his eyebrows at the curious smile on the other man’s face.
“What?” Tuti asked.
Takashi studied him for a second as they walked. “I was just thinking that we really need to stop doing this.”
“What, breaking up, or getting back together?” Tuti asked, smiling.
“Baka,” Takashi laughed. “I’m serious.”
“I know,” Tuti said softly. “How about we make this the last time, ok?”
Takashi laughed, but his eyes were dark as he nodded.
They were almost to the train, and Tuti glanced at his watch, cringing a little at the time. Well, at least he was showing up, he told himself.
“So you really enjoyed the show?” Takashi was asking, as they arrived at the stairs leading down to the platform.
“I did.” Tuti smiled, figuring that he was already late, and so it really didn’t matter if he was delayed a little longer. “You were great. I love watching you.” Then he frowned a little. “I’m sorry I only came once.”
Takashi shook his head. “It’s ok.”
Tuti watched Takashi for a second, before he stepped to the side of the stairs, quickly pulling the other man close. “I love you,” he whispered into Takashi’s ear.
“Me too,” he heard the other man say quietly, as he relaxed his grip.
“And I was serious,” Takashi pouted a little, taking a small step backwards so that he could see Tuti’s face. “No more breaking up over stupid arguments.”
“Agreed.” Tuti smiled. “Call me when you’re on your way home, ok?” He said after a second.
Takashi nodded.
“And be careful,” Tuti added.
Takashi laughed and nodded again, and Tuti watched as the other man gave him a soft smile, the one that always seemed to melt everything inside of him in an instant, before he turned the corner and waved, disappearing from view.
And Tuti was sure he should be surprised, but… It always seemed to come back to this in the end, he was thinking, as he sat down on the train several minutes later.
Even after weeks of not speaking, or even in the middle of their biggest fights, he found that somehow he just believed in Takashi. He believed in them together too - that they were good for each other. He was pretty sure that Takashi felt the same way, and he wondered if this was what made nights like this possible. Tuti smiled to himself for a moment though, remembering Takashi’s soft smile. That could be part of it too, he was thinking to himself, chuckling a little. Takashi was irresistible, and he was weak. Or maybe they were just stupid. He sighed. Because he knew it didn’t matter anyway. What mattered was getting this *pnish* thing over with quickly, because he really, really missed Takashi. Already.
Before he’d realized it though, the train had arrived at his stop. Tuti climbed the steps leading from the platform two at a time, and just as he’d reached street level, he heard the jingle of his cell phone. He grimaced, thinking it was Eiji calling to yell at him for being late, but as he glanced down at the display, he realized with a start of surprise that it wasn’t Eiji.
“Takashi? What’s wrong?”
Tuti heard Takashi laugh on the other end of the line. “Nothing’s wrong. You said to call when I was on my way, remember?”
“Well yeah, but…” Tuti was confused.
“Well…” Takashi let out a guilty sigh. “Actually, I’m home already.” And Tuti could hear the smile in his voice.
“What do you mean you’re home? What about the bar?”
“I didn’t feel like it anymore.” Takashi lowered his voice. “Is that ok?”
“Of course, I mean…” Tuti cleared his throat.
“So hurry up, ok?”
Tuti nodded to himself, a little dazed by the husky quality of Takashi’s voice, and then remembered that he was on the phone. “Ok,” he told Takashi, smiling, as he tried not to sound as excited as he suddenly felt. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Tuti stood there for a second after he’d hung up, trying to decide what to do. He didn’t have to think for very long though, as he scrolled down to Eiji’s number on his phone.
He was sure Eiji would be furious, but…
“Look, Eiji, something’s come up, and-” Tuti was saying a second later. He paused.
“What do you mean you know?” Then Tuti laughed. “Yeah, we did, but…” Tuti laughed again. “Thanks.”
He hung up his phone, smiling, as he walked back to the train, wondering how on earth Eiji could have known he wasn’t going to make it, but not really caring. He felt the anticipation settling in the pit of his stomach too, fluttering and dancing inside of him, just at the thought of being alone with Takashi tonight.
He believed in this too, he realized - in this feeling - maybe most of all, even though deep down he knew that there was a lot more to it than this.
Somehow it brought a smile to his lips anyway though, because he knew that even if there wasn’t anything else, just this feeling would be enough. Actually, it would be more than enough, Tuti decided, his lips curling into a smile as he closed his eyes, and leaned back against the wall of the train car.
***