[Fic] Messages
Title: Messages
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: None, worksafe.
Rating: PG
Summary: Tuti makes up for last year's birthday mix-up.
Notes: So I know it's a little late, but this is my fic for Nagayan's birthday. ^_~ Basically it's a combination of my thoughts on Nagayan's blog posts, and one way Tuti could have made up for his birthday message not reaching it's destination on time last year. *nods* I hope you enjoy it. ^^ (And thanks to kooriyoukai for being so kind as to read this over for me a few days ago. ^_^)
“So was it a good birthday?” Tuti asked, though the smile on his face indicated that he already knew how Takashi would answer.
“Mmm…” Takashi blinked slowly. He listened to the steady rhythm of the rain against the roof and let out a long breath, the corners of his lips curling up and then pursing back together again as he nodded. “Definitely. It’s been perfect. This whole night has been perfect.”
Takashi watched the other man nod, and smile again.
“Just making sure, you know.”
“Well, don’t worry.” Takashi laughed quietly. “Besides, I already told you this was exactly what I wanted.”
His birthday had been a little more relaxed than usual this year, but when Tuti had asked how he wanted to celebrate, Takashi had been honest when he told him that to share a bottle of wine, and a couple of hours alone together was really the best gift he could think of.
He knew his answer had probably been a little boring, but the fact that Tuti had given him this, no questions asked, really meant a lot to him. Even just being able to lie here, together like this on his bed, was important to him. There was no trace of the restlessness that had kept him awake last night, and none of the unease he sometimes felt in the silence of his apartment when he was here alone.
When it came down to it, he found that he was really grateful for this subdued mood tonight.
“Thank you,” Takashi told him quietly.
“For what?”
“Just for being here, and understanding. And for not feeling like you had to get me something.”
At this Tuti shifted a little, and looked away. A small, suspicious looking smirk began to emerge on his face.
Takashi narrowed his eyes. “What? Why do you look guilty?”
Tuti raised his eyebrows, and shook his head. “No reason.”
Takashi nodded after a moment, satisfied that his intuition was right, judging by the look on Tuti’s face.
“You got me something anyway,” he told him, smiling a little.
“Not… Well, not exactly.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll find out.”
“You know, you really didn’t have to-” Takashi blinked in surprise when he felt a long finger press against his lips.
“Just wait.”
Takashi found himself nodding, though he really had no idea what he was agreeing to. He watched, confused, as Tuti sat up, swung his legs around to the other the side of the bed and then got up and crossed the room quickly.
“Where’s your phone?” Tuti asked over his shoulder as he opened the bedroom door, and disappeared around the corner.
“I… Well…” Takashi blinked. He cleared his throat and raised his voice. “It should be in the kitchen. I think.”
As he listened to the sounds of Tuti fumbling around in his kitchen, Takashi’s eyes drifted idly towards the clock on the table next to the bed. He noted, with the faintest hint of anxiety, that his birthday was actually a lot closer to being over than he’d thought.
He knew that there was no real difference between twenty-seven and twenty-eight, but it had been on his mind for a while - the realization that he would have to work really hard this year if he wanted to carry the momentum he’d been building forward. This was something he knew he was capable of, but… Twenty-seven had been a really good year, and sometimes it was a little scary, the fact that he was aware of just how high his expectations had been set.
After a moment he sighed, realizing that aside from these deeper thoughts, he was getting a little impatient. He wanted to know what Tuti was up to, because… Well, he just couldn’t help the fact that he was suddenly really curious.
“Tuti, what-” he started, but the other man was already closing the bedroom door behind him.
Takashi eyed Tuti suspiciously as his made his way back to the bed.
“What were you doing out there?” he asked, sitting up. He felt the bed sag a little under him as Tuti sat down next to him.
“I was looking for this.” He handed the phone to Takashi, smiling a little.
“Why do I need my phone?”
Takashi couldn’t help but smile back at Tuti, though he wondered if he should be worried. Obviously, the other man was planning something. He noticed Tuti’s eyes as they glanced down at the phone in his hands, and then over at the clock.
“Because maybe...”
Tuti’s voice trailed off as Takashi’s phone began to vibrate.
“Maybe someone sent me a text message?” Takashi finished, grinning, as he looked down at his phone. His smile widened a moment later. “Actually it would seem that someone sent me…” He laughed a little. “Twenty eight text messages,” he finished, raising his eyebrows at the other man.
“Ah, really?” Tuti asked innocently.
“Yeah, would you happen to know anything about that?”
“Nope. Not a thing. Must be a secret admirer.”
“So it would seem.”
Takashi scrolled through the messages slowly, stealing a look here and there at Tuti’s face. Some of the messages were short and funny, and some were longer - stories from Tuti’s rehearsals, or random anecdotes about people they knew, or shows they’d seen together. Several mentioned how much Tuti was looking forward to today. Takashi found himself laughing out loud several times, and when he did, Tuti leaned over him, pressing their shoulders together with a comfortable closeness.
He couldn’t stop smiling, though there was a part of him that felt uncharacteristically overwhelmed by the attention. Takashi was touched, much more so than he felt comfortable letting on. It was one thing to receive support from his fans, and to be surprised by the honesty he’d seen from people who didn’t know him, but he found that to suddenly realize that there were ways for Tuti to surprise him like this left him with a really strange feeling. He wasn’t quite sure how to react.
He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe these messages had something to do with the mix-up on his birthday last year too. Because even though he had told Tuti a million times that he wasn’t angry about that, that he had never really been angry, he knew that Tuti still felt bad about his message not having reached him then.
Either way, just the thought of Tuti planning this, and knowing that he had scheduled all of these messages to be sent at the same time left Takashi feeling mostly amazed, but still a little overwhelmed. Tuti had clearly been planning this for a while too; some of the messages referenced things that he knew had happened weeks ago.
Takashi was used to presents and gifts and attention, but he realized that there was something else here that he wasn’t used to. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, but he was happy. Happier than he’d been in a long time.
Takashi could feel his cheeks becoming dangerously warm, as he processed all of this.
It wasn’t until he got to the last message though, that he realized what it was that was different about how he felt right now. It was simple, he realized, staring at the words in front of him. He had heard these words, plenty of times, on various different levels, but for the first time in a long, long time, he realized that he actually believed them.
He blinked, having to read Tuti’s final message several times, until finally the words began to blur in front of his eyes. Eventually, he swallowed past the lump in his throat, blinking several times before he forced himself to meet Tuti’s eyes.
“Last year, did I…” Takashi paused, not sure why he felt like he had to make sure of something. “Did I make you feel like you had something to make up to me, because-”
“No,” Tuti said quickly. “Of course not. I wanted to do this because… Because I wanted to. Not just because I screwed it up last year,” he added, smiling a little nervously.
Takashi nodded, and stared down at the last message again. “Then… you…”
“Takashi.”
“What?”
“Do you really think that I would say something like that and not mean it?”
“No.” Takashi said quietly, feeling a smile begin to pull at the corners of his mouth.
It wasn’t really that he was surprised. In fact, he suspected that he had already known how Tuti had felt for a while now. For some reason, it had just never come up like this. Not with these words, anyway.
Suddenly he realized something else too though. He hadn’t noticed it before, because there hadn’t been anything that had been wrong; it wasn’t as if he had been unhappy, or unsure about Tuti’s feelings before this, but somehow, he could tell by the way that this was making him feel right now, by how incredibly light his body felt, and by this warmth that seemed to swallow everything around him. He had needed this.
He had no idea how Tuti could have known; it seemed impossible, but he knew that it was true. He had needed this, and Tuti had known.
He stared at Tuti for a long moment, and tried to keep his voice steady when he spoke, wondering if he looked as ridiculously happy as he felt right now.
“So how does it feel, confessing your undying love to my phone?”
“It feels great,” Tuti told him, grinning.
“Good.” Takashi smiled back, and felt his stomach turn over a little with happiness and anticipation. “Because it feels pretty nice to me too.”
***
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: None, worksafe.
Rating: PG
Summary: Tuti makes up for last year's birthday mix-up.
Notes: So I know it's a little late, but this is my fic for Nagayan's birthday. ^_~ Basically it's a combination of my thoughts on Nagayan's blog posts, and one way Tuti could have made up for his birthday message not reaching it's destination on time last year. *nods* I hope you enjoy it. ^^ (And thanks to kooriyoukai for being so kind as to read this over for me a few days ago. ^_^)
“So was it a good birthday?” Tuti asked, though the smile on his face indicated that he already knew how Takashi would answer.
“Mmm…” Takashi blinked slowly. He listened to the steady rhythm of the rain against the roof and let out a long breath, the corners of his lips curling up and then pursing back together again as he nodded. “Definitely. It’s been perfect. This whole night has been perfect.”
Takashi watched the other man nod, and smile again.
“Just making sure, you know.”
“Well, don’t worry.” Takashi laughed quietly. “Besides, I already told you this was exactly what I wanted.”
His birthday had been a little more relaxed than usual this year, but when Tuti had asked how he wanted to celebrate, Takashi had been honest when he told him that to share a bottle of wine, and a couple of hours alone together was really the best gift he could think of.
He knew his answer had probably been a little boring, but the fact that Tuti had given him this, no questions asked, really meant a lot to him. Even just being able to lie here, together like this on his bed, was important to him. There was no trace of the restlessness that had kept him awake last night, and none of the unease he sometimes felt in the silence of his apartment when he was here alone.
When it came down to it, he found that he was really grateful for this subdued mood tonight.
“Thank you,” Takashi told him quietly.
“For what?”
“Just for being here, and understanding. And for not feeling like you had to get me something.”
At this Tuti shifted a little, and looked away. A small, suspicious looking smirk began to emerge on his face.
Takashi narrowed his eyes. “What? Why do you look guilty?”
Tuti raised his eyebrows, and shook his head. “No reason.”
Takashi nodded after a moment, satisfied that his intuition was right, judging by the look on Tuti’s face.
“You got me something anyway,” he told him, smiling a little.
“Not… Well, not exactly.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll find out.”
“You know, you really didn’t have to-” Takashi blinked in surprise when he felt a long finger press against his lips.
“Just wait.”
Takashi found himself nodding, though he really had no idea what he was agreeing to. He watched, confused, as Tuti sat up, swung his legs around to the other the side of the bed and then got up and crossed the room quickly.
“Where’s your phone?” Tuti asked over his shoulder as he opened the bedroom door, and disappeared around the corner.
“I… Well…” Takashi blinked. He cleared his throat and raised his voice. “It should be in the kitchen. I think.”
As he listened to the sounds of Tuti fumbling around in his kitchen, Takashi’s eyes drifted idly towards the clock on the table next to the bed. He noted, with the faintest hint of anxiety, that his birthday was actually a lot closer to being over than he’d thought.
He knew that there was no real difference between twenty-seven and twenty-eight, but it had been on his mind for a while - the realization that he would have to work really hard this year if he wanted to carry the momentum he’d been building forward. This was something he knew he was capable of, but… Twenty-seven had been a really good year, and sometimes it was a little scary, the fact that he was aware of just how high his expectations had been set.
After a moment he sighed, realizing that aside from these deeper thoughts, he was getting a little impatient. He wanted to know what Tuti was up to, because… Well, he just couldn’t help the fact that he was suddenly really curious.
“Tuti, what-” he started, but the other man was already closing the bedroom door behind him.
Takashi eyed Tuti suspiciously as his made his way back to the bed.
“What were you doing out there?” he asked, sitting up. He felt the bed sag a little under him as Tuti sat down next to him.
“I was looking for this.” He handed the phone to Takashi, smiling a little.
“Why do I need my phone?”
Takashi couldn’t help but smile back at Tuti, though he wondered if he should be worried. Obviously, the other man was planning something. He noticed Tuti’s eyes as they glanced down at the phone in his hands, and then over at the clock.
“Because maybe...”
Tuti’s voice trailed off as Takashi’s phone began to vibrate.
“Maybe someone sent me a text message?” Takashi finished, grinning, as he looked down at his phone. His smile widened a moment later. “Actually it would seem that someone sent me…” He laughed a little. “Twenty eight text messages,” he finished, raising his eyebrows at the other man.
“Ah, really?” Tuti asked innocently.
“Yeah, would you happen to know anything about that?”
“Nope. Not a thing. Must be a secret admirer.”
“So it would seem.”
Takashi scrolled through the messages slowly, stealing a look here and there at Tuti’s face. Some of the messages were short and funny, and some were longer - stories from Tuti’s rehearsals, or random anecdotes about people they knew, or shows they’d seen together. Several mentioned how much Tuti was looking forward to today. Takashi found himself laughing out loud several times, and when he did, Tuti leaned over him, pressing their shoulders together with a comfortable closeness.
He couldn’t stop smiling, though there was a part of him that felt uncharacteristically overwhelmed by the attention. Takashi was touched, much more so than he felt comfortable letting on. It was one thing to receive support from his fans, and to be surprised by the honesty he’d seen from people who didn’t know him, but he found that to suddenly realize that there were ways for Tuti to surprise him like this left him with a really strange feeling. He wasn’t quite sure how to react.
He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe these messages had something to do with the mix-up on his birthday last year too. Because even though he had told Tuti a million times that he wasn’t angry about that, that he had never really been angry, he knew that Tuti still felt bad about his message not having reached him then.
Either way, just the thought of Tuti planning this, and knowing that he had scheduled all of these messages to be sent at the same time left Takashi feeling mostly amazed, but still a little overwhelmed. Tuti had clearly been planning this for a while too; some of the messages referenced things that he knew had happened weeks ago.
Takashi was used to presents and gifts and attention, but he realized that there was something else here that he wasn’t used to. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was, but he was happy. Happier than he’d been in a long time.
Takashi could feel his cheeks becoming dangerously warm, as he processed all of this.
It wasn’t until he got to the last message though, that he realized what it was that was different about how he felt right now. It was simple, he realized, staring at the words in front of him. He had heard these words, plenty of times, on various different levels, but for the first time in a long, long time, he realized that he actually believed them.
He blinked, having to read Tuti’s final message several times, until finally the words began to blur in front of his eyes. Eventually, he swallowed past the lump in his throat, blinking several times before he forced himself to meet Tuti’s eyes.
“Last year, did I…” Takashi paused, not sure why he felt like he had to make sure of something. “Did I make you feel like you had something to make up to me, because-”
“No,” Tuti said quickly. “Of course not. I wanted to do this because… Because I wanted to. Not just because I screwed it up last year,” he added, smiling a little nervously.
Takashi nodded, and stared down at the last message again. “Then… you…”
“Takashi.”
“What?”
“Do you really think that I would say something like that and not mean it?”
“No.” Takashi said quietly, feeling a smile begin to pull at the corners of his mouth.
It wasn’t really that he was surprised. In fact, he suspected that he had already known how Tuti had felt for a while now. For some reason, it had just never come up like this. Not with these words, anyway.
Suddenly he realized something else too though. He hadn’t noticed it before, because there hadn’t been anything that had been wrong; it wasn’t as if he had been unhappy, or unsure about Tuti’s feelings before this, but somehow, he could tell by the way that this was making him feel right now, by how incredibly light his body felt, and by this warmth that seemed to swallow everything around him. He had needed this.
He had no idea how Tuti could have known; it seemed impossible, but he knew that it was true. He had needed this, and Tuti had known.
He stared at Tuti for a long moment, and tried to keep his voice steady when he spoke, wondering if he looked as ridiculously happy as he felt right now.
“So how does it feel, confessing your undying love to my phone?”
“It feels great,” Tuti told him, grinning.
“Good.” Takashi smiled back, and felt his stomach turn over a little with happiness and anticipation. “Because it feels pretty nice to me too.”
***