[Fic] Choices
Title: Choices
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: None, worksafe (Well, there's one kiss. ^_~)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Starbucks, tension, walking home, and what Nagayan would choose, if he had to.
Notes: I think this started because solanum_d said something about Nagayan licking the inside of a Starbucks lid. And then, I really don't know what happened, but it got little sappy. And angsty. And then sappy again. This also took me forever, and I'm not sure why. O_o;; Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
Comments would be greatly appreciated. ^_^
“My eyes?” he asks, and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as he lowers his gaze at me. “What’s so great about my eyes?”
His brow rises above the cup as he watches me, lips slightly parted, a smile dancing around the corners of his mouth where his teeth grip the plastic lid playfully.
It’s late, and we’ve been out for a while. I’m beginning to wonder how close we are to missing the last train, and if we’re going end up walking to my apartment instead. I’m sure the coffee shop is about to close too, but I find that even so, I’m not really in a hurry.
I watch Takashi watch me intently, as he sips his drink.
His eyes are dark and unyielding. He’s been looking at me like this all night too, from the moment we met outside the theatre. Takashi is always a little on edge when we’re out like this, but tonight he’s… Well, I can’t really put my finger on it. We haven’t been out in public together for a while, so maybe that’s what it is; I’m not really sure. I can tell that he’s flirting with me though, and he has been all night. His words are subtle and smooth though, and this mixes strangely with his edginess.
The soft yellow light from above the table casts his face in a warm glow, and I’m distracted for a moment when he shifts in the wooden chair and several dark strands of hair fall across his face, just grazing his eyebrows before they fall past them.
A girl passes our table and stares down at Takashi, before glancing at me for a brief moment and diverting her eyes. The attention sends a pleasant shiver down my spine. It’s not that I’m showing him off or anything, but… It’s just kind of nice to let everyone know that the rumors are true sometimes, I guess. I feel a little guilty thinking this though, since I know how careful we’re supposed to be, but…
I turn my attention back to the man across the table, in an attempt to distract myself from my thoughts. He removes the lid from his drink, and I study him for a few seconds, trying to keep my face serious but then I just can’t help it. The tension has been broken, I realize, and I lean back in my chair a little, not able to stop the loud laughter that emerges from my mouth. Several heads turn and I watch as Takashi eyes me curiously.
“What?” he asks, and the pink sliver of his tongue darts along the inside of the lid expertly. He tilts his head, smiling at me. “What?”
I grin. “Well, I was going to give you an answer, about your eyes, since you asked, but…” I lower my voice, reminding myself of where we are. “I just can’t take you seriously with whipped cream all over your lips.”
He rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to the lid. “It’s not all over my lips, it’s inside my mouth.” His eyes turn mischievous after a moment though, and he sets down the lid and smirks at me. “And it’s good,” he teases. “Want some?”
I gesture to the lid, which has already been licked clean. “Too late.”
“Maybe I wasn’t talking about that.” He smiles innocently.
“I’m going to remember that, you know.”
“Good.”
The smile lingers on the corner of his lips as he reaches across the table for his bag. “Come on, they’re closing. Let’s go,” he says.
He stands up a moment later, seemingly oblivious to the table full of girls whispering and staring in the corner, and turns his head away from me as he makes his way through the tangle of chairs. He’s smiling, as we step outside, and begin to walk in the direction of my apartment and suddenly I can’t help but think how lucky I am. That he’s smiling at me.
Because honestly, I never imagined that it would end up like this.
I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised though, because even back then, when I was still trying to deny it, and even when I told myself that I couldn’t take Takashi’s flirtations seriously, deep down I know I’ve always loved being the center of his attention.
And now, the way he looks at me from across a room, and the subtle touches he manages to slip in, no matter where we are - these are things that I still value, more than anything. I love seeing his real smile, and hearing the goofy laugh that he reserves only for his closest friends. I love that there are layers to his words, and to the tone of his voice - even to the way he turns his head. Takashi has always given me access to this part of him, which is, I think, part of the reason why I didn’t even notice it at first. It took him shutting me out for me to realize that his openness towards me wasn’t something to be taken lightly.
“So seriously…” he says, and my focus shifts back to his voice, as we make our way down the street, ducking around groups of slow moving pedestrians here and there.
“My eyes? That’s the best you can do?” he continues, glancing up at me and grinning. “Can’t you be a little more creative?”
“You told me to tell you the first thing that came to mind!”
“I know. But eyes?” He laughs. “That’s so cheesy.”
“I also really like your teeth (1),” I tell him with a grin, and find after a moment that my nervous laugh has been met with silence. “What?” I tease, still smiling.
“Tuti, that’s creepy,” he tells me, his voice deadpan, but I can tell that he’s amused.
“You said to be creative!”
“That’s not creative, it’s-”
“Creepy, I know…” I grin, a little evilly now. “Although after your answer earlier, I really don’t think you have any room to talk.”
He blushes a little and I smile and bump his shoulder, trying to throw him off balance.
“What if I said I loved your freckles (2) most of all, would that be creative, or creepy?”
He gasps. This comment has earned me a harder-than-it-looks-punch and a shocked expression, as he stops and looks up at me.
“I don’t have freckles,” he says, glaring at me, daring me to argue with him.
“What do you mean?” I laugh, completely falling for it. “Of course you do. What about this one?” I ask, poking the bridge of his nose as he flinches a little, laughing, his frown disappearing immediately. “Or this one?” I touch my finger to his chin, leaning in a little too close, because I can’t really help it. “Of course you know where my favorite one is,” I say quietly, into his ear.
He exhales slowly, blinking up at me, and his eyes are dark, and full of something I can’t quite read.
“Stop it,” he tells me abruptly. “Come on.”
I stand there for a second trying to figure out what’s just happened, before I realize that he’s walking away. I jog up next to him.
“What?”
He shakes his head.
“Takashi, what did I do?”
“Nothing, just… I told you not to do that.” He glances at me quickly and then looks away.
“Not to do what?” I ask, but he just shrugs.
And just like that, I’m shut out. Just like that, everything has shifted, and Takashi is somewhere else. I should know better, I tell myself, but… This is one thing about Takashi that I wish I could change, I guess, even if it’s probably unfair. And I just don’t know how to do it. Because once he’s decided something, once he’s made his choice, and once he’s decided the way something has to be, he’s just… immovable. And I know what he’s decided. He’s decided that he’s embarrassed. He’s decided that he likes rumors, but that they have to stay that way, and… That’s the way it is. And probably the way it always will be.
I think about this for a few seconds, trying to convince myself I’m not bitter, and that this really is for the best, as we turn the corner. But something inside of me just doesn’t want to let it go.
We’re on a less crowded street now though, and it’s dark, late. Not many people are around. This could be bad, what I’m thinking about doing, I tell myself. It doesn’t take me long to realize that I’m willing to take my chances though.
I quicken my pace until I’m in front of him. He stops. His eyes flicker with apprehension.
“Tuti, what-”
“Kiss me.”
His eyes widen in surprise.
“Kiss me right now, right here. And don’t look around first to see if anyone’s watching.”
His eyes lock into my gaze and I can tell he’s weighing his options. Suddenly I’m scared though, and I find myself cursing my impulsiveness. I feel guilty too, for doing this now, when I know it’s late, and we’re both tired. I’m not really in the mood to back up my words either. I half expect him to stalk away from me, and for the night to end like this. It would all be my fault too. It almost seems like I’ve asked for it.
“Takashi, never mind,” I tell him quickly, trying to take back my words, though I doubt that this is possible. I stare at my feet stupidly. “I just…”
“You just what?”
“I know how you feel, you’ve told me a million times, and I’ve told myself a million times that I have to respect it, but… I just hate holding back all the time.” I pause, watching him. “I know it’s selfish though.” I shake my head. “That’s why this is silly. I’m sorry.” I sigh. “Let’s just go home.”
He takes a step closer to me, shaking his head a little, and his eyes look sad for a second before he blinks, and smiles softly.
Then he closes the distance between us and kisses me. His tongue moves against mine possessively when I part my lips, and I allow him to take control before I reciprocate. To my surprise, after a moment he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls himself close to me.
His eyes are closed tight, and his arms are rigid around me, but when I try to pull away, he holds me close, and pushes his tongue deeper inside my mouth.
Takashi’s lips are soft, like always, and there’s a hint of vanilla there too, his new favorite flavor. I can feel him start to relax as our tongues move around each other in slow, almost dizzying circles. Deep in his mouth there’s a hint of sweetness, and coffee, and after another second I pull away, trying to catch my breath, and I realize that he’s panting too. And smiling sheepishly. And blushing.
“Satisfied?” he asks a moment later, licking his lips a little and grinning.
He laughs when he realizes he’s caught me at a loss for words.
“Leaving you speechless is ok too,” he says, smiling even wider, and I wonder how this is possible, when it already seems like he was grinning from ear to ear.
We start to walk again, and the world around me comes back into focus. The street, and the sounds of the cars on the road, and the distant rumble of the train behind us.
“Thank you,” I tell him, as I wrap my arm around his shoulders. I leave it there for a few steps, before I let it fall away.
He shakes his head when the contact is broken and moves closer to me. Our shoulders brush together.
“I know sometimes you need to be reminded.” He pauses. “I do too. So… It’s ok. I don’t want to have to hide all the time either.”
“So it’s not just me?”
“Of course not,” he says quickly. “I just don’t like to feel out of control like that when I might run into someone I know, someone I work with, ok? That’s all I meant.”
“You were out of control?” I tease. “I hardly noticed.”
He sighs. “Well, I’ve been trying to resist the urge to shove you into a corner all night, and so…”
“A corner…?” I stare at him, a little amused. “Really?”
He slaps my arm playfully, glaring at me. “Yeah, so?”
“That’s just…”
“What? You don’t want to?” He stops walking, looking a little hurt now. “It doesn’t drive you crazy having to sit next to me all night without being able to-”
“Takashi, of course it does. Why do you think I asked you to kiss me just now?”
“To embarrass me,” he pouts.
I laugh. “You know, I’m self-conscious too, sometimes. But…” I watch him, noticing the tension in his shoulders, and in his stance, and suddenly I feel a little sad. “With you I don’t want to be.”
He nods. “I don’t want to be either.”
I touch his shoulder. “I want you to be able to relax. I want it to be fun, when we’re out like this.”
“It is fun,” he argues, but I can still hear the tension in his voice. “Is it fun for you?”
“Of course it is. I love being with you,” I answer without thinking, because it’s true.
He watches me for a long moment before he shakes his head. “Then it’s fine, right? The important thing is that we get to do this, and still do everything else that we love, right? Because Yuuichi…” I watch as he takes a deep breath.
“No matter what,” he says, lowering his voice a little. “If someone finds out, they find out, ok? I don’t care. Even if it means that everything is over, that I have to start over, I don’t care. My career-”
“Your career is important Takashi, it’s what you’ve worked your whole life for. You can't say it’s-”
“It’s important, of course,” he says quickly, and there’s something serious flashing in his eyes that I’ve only honestly seen a handful of times in the years that I’ve known him. “I’m just saying that if I had to choose-”
“You won’t have to choose,” I cut him off, because I don’t want to hear this. It scares me, and it worries me, thinking about what would happen if the wrong person were to find out about us. I know that it’s silly to avoid thinking about it, but…
“That’s exactly what this is about,” I continue, aware of the fact that I’m beginning to sound a little frantic. “That’s why we’re so careful, right? So we won’t have to choose.”
“But if I had to.” He pauses, blinking several times, before he fixes me with another serious look that’s almost frightening in its severity.
“Everything is a choice, right?” he says. “Every second of every day. Every moment I spend with you. It’s a choice, and I’m just saying that I don’t regret anything. I won’t regret anything, any of this, ever. Even if…” His voice catches slightly, and his features soften a little. “Even if something bad happens. Even if it doesn’t end up the way we want it to. I won’t regret it. Because I made this choice a long time ago.”
I stare at him, and blink stupidly, like it seems I always do when Takashi takes me off guard like this.
He smiles after a moment. “Ok?”
I nod, and try to think of something more appropriate to say than just “ok”, but somehow that’s what comes out.
I follow him, when he starts walking.
He stifles a yawn a few moments later and looks up at me. “Since when is your apartment so far away?” A small smile plays across his lips. “And why didn’t we just take the train?”
I laugh, because I was thinking the exact same thing.
“We’re almost there.”
“I know,” he says softly, and the way he looks at me, I wonder if suddenly we’re talking about something else all together. He smiles at me after a moment though, and I can’t help but smile back.
“As long as you don’t decide to pull me into a corner, we should make it there before sunrise, anyway,” I tell him with a smirk.
He laughs, and then lowers his eyes. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Ok,” I tell him, but… My eyes are smiling, and I’m sure he knows I don’t really mean it.
This time I’m sure it doesn’t matter though.
***
Notes:
(1) Any similarity that this statement shares with the author’s personal thoughts is purely and entirely coincidental. ^_~
(2) See above.
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Warnings: None, worksafe (Well, there's one kiss. ^_~)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Starbucks, tension, walking home, and what Nagayan would choose, if he had to.
Notes: I think this started because solanum_d said something about Nagayan licking the inside of a Starbucks lid. And then, I really don't know what happened, but it got little sappy. And angsty. And then sappy again. This also took me forever, and I'm not sure why. O_o;; Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
Comments would be greatly appreciated. ^_^
“My eyes?” he asks, and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly, as he lowers his gaze at me. “What’s so great about my eyes?”
His brow rises above the cup as he watches me, lips slightly parted, a smile dancing around the corners of his mouth where his teeth grip the plastic lid playfully.
It’s late, and we’ve been out for a while. I’m beginning to wonder how close we are to missing the last train, and if we’re going end up walking to my apartment instead. I’m sure the coffee shop is about to close too, but I find that even so, I’m not really in a hurry.
I watch Takashi watch me intently, as he sips his drink.
His eyes are dark and unyielding. He’s been looking at me like this all night too, from the moment we met outside the theatre. Takashi is always a little on edge when we’re out like this, but tonight he’s… Well, I can’t really put my finger on it. We haven’t been out in public together for a while, so maybe that’s what it is; I’m not really sure. I can tell that he’s flirting with me though, and he has been all night. His words are subtle and smooth though, and this mixes strangely with his edginess.
The soft yellow light from above the table casts his face in a warm glow, and I’m distracted for a moment when he shifts in the wooden chair and several dark strands of hair fall across his face, just grazing his eyebrows before they fall past them.
A girl passes our table and stares down at Takashi, before glancing at me for a brief moment and diverting her eyes. The attention sends a pleasant shiver down my spine. It’s not that I’m showing him off or anything, but… It’s just kind of nice to let everyone know that the rumors are true sometimes, I guess. I feel a little guilty thinking this though, since I know how careful we’re supposed to be, but…
I turn my attention back to the man across the table, in an attempt to distract myself from my thoughts. He removes the lid from his drink, and I study him for a few seconds, trying to keep my face serious but then I just can’t help it. The tension has been broken, I realize, and I lean back in my chair a little, not able to stop the loud laughter that emerges from my mouth. Several heads turn and I watch as Takashi eyes me curiously.
“What?” he asks, and the pink sliver of his tongue darts along the inside of the lid expertly. He tilts his head, smiling at me. “What?”
I grin. “Well, I was going to give you an answer, about your eyes, since you asked, but…” I lower my voice, reminding myself of where we are. “I just can’t take you seriously with whipped cream all over your lips.”
He rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to the lid. “It’s not all over my lips, it’s inside my mouth.” His eyes turn mischievous after a moment though, and he sets down the lid and smirks at me. “And it’s good,” he teases. “Want some?”
I gesture to the lid, which has already been licked clean. “Too late.”
“Maybe I wasn’t talking about that.” He smiles innocently.
“I’m going to remember that, you know.”
“Good.”
The smile lingers on the corner of his lips as he reaches across the table for his bag. “Come on, they’re closing. Let’s go,” he says.
He stands up a moment later, seemingly oblivious to the table full of girls whispering and staring in the corner, and turns his head away from me as he makes his way through the tangle of chairs. He’s smiling, as we step outside, and begin to walk in the direction of my apartment and suddenly I can’t help but think how lucky I am. That he’s smiling at me.
Because honestly, I never imagined that it would end up like this.
I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised though, because even back then, when I was still trying to deny it, and even when I told myself that I couldn’t take Takashi’s flirtations seriously, deep down I know I’ve always loved being the center of his attention.
And now, the way he looks at me from across a room, and the subtle touches he manages to slip in, no matter where we are - these are things that I still value, more than anything. I love seeing his real smile, and hearing the goofy laugh that he reserves only for his closest friends. I love that there are layers to his words, and to the tone of his voice - even to the way he turns his head. Takashi has always given me access to this part of him, which is, I think, part of the reason why I didn’t even notice it at first. It took him shutting me out for me to realize that his openness towards me wasn’t something to be taken lightly.
“So seriously…” he says, and my focus shifts back to his voice, as we make our way down the street, ducking around groups of slow moving pedestrians here and there.
“My eyes? That’s the best you can do?” he continues, glancing up at me and grinning. “Can’t you be a little more creative?”
“You told me to tell you the first thing that came to mind!”
“I know. But eyes?” He laughs. “That’s so cheesy.”
“I also really like your teeth (1),” I tell him with a grin, and find after a moment that my nervous laugh has been met with silence. “What?” I tease, still smiling.
“Tuti, that’s creepy,” he tells me, his voice deadpan, but I can tell that he’s amused.
“You said to be creative!”
“That’s not creative, it’s-”
“Creepy, I know…” I grin, a little evilly now. “Although after your answer earlier, I really don’t think you have any room to talk.”
He blushes a little and I smile and bump his shoulder, trying to throw him off balance.
“What if I said I loved your freckles (2) most of all, would that be creative, or creepy?”
He gasps. This comment has earned me a harder-than-it-looks-punch and a shocked expression, as he stops and looks up at me.
“I don’t have freckles,” he says, glaring at me, daring me to argue with him.
“What do you mean?” I laugh, completely falling for it. “Of course you do. What about this one?” I ask, poking the bridge of his nose as he flinches a little, laughing, his frown disappearing immediately. “Or this one?” I touch my finger to his chin, leaning in a little too close, because I can’t really help it. “Of course you know where my favorite one is,” I say quietly, into his ear.
He exhales slowly, blinking up at me, and his eyes are dark, and full of something I can’t quite read.
“Stop it,” he tells me abruptly. “Come on.”
I stand there for a second trying to figure out what’s just happened, before I realize that he’s walking away. I jog up next to him.
“What?”
He shakes his head.
“Takashi, what did I do?”
“Nothing, just… I told you not to do that.” He glances at me quickly and then looks away.
“Not to do what?” I ask, but he just shrugs.
And just like that, I’m shut out. Just like that, everything has shifted, and Takashi is somewhere else. I should know better, I tell myself, but… This is one thing about Takashi that I wish I could change, I guess, even if it’s probably unfair. And I just don’t know how to do it. Because once he’s decided something, once he’s made his choice, and once he’s decided the way something has to be, he’s just… immovable. And I know what he’s decided. He’s decided that he’s embarrassed. He’s decided that he likes rumors, but that they have to stay that way, and… That’s the way it is. And probably the way it always will be.
I think about this for a few seconds, trying to convince myself I’m not bitter, and that this really is for the best, as we turn the corner. But something inside of me just doesn’t want to let it go.
We’re on a less crowded street now though, and it’s dark, late. Not many people are around. This could be bad, what I’m thinking about doing, I tell myself. It doesn’t take me long to realize that I’m willing to take my chances though.
I quicken my pace until I’m in front of him. He stops. His eyes flicker with apprehension.
“Tuti, what-”
“Kiss me.”
His eyes widen in surprise.
“Kiss me right now, right here. And don’t look around first to see if anyone’s watching.”
His eyes lock into my gaze and I can tell he’s weighing his options. Suddenly I’m scared though, and I find myself cursing my impulsiveness. I feel guilty too, for doing this now, when I know it’s late, and we’re both tired. I’m not really in the mood to back up my words either. I half expect him to stalk away from me, and for the night to end like this. It would all be my fault too. It almost seems like I’ve asked for it.
“Takashi, never mind,” I tell him quickly, trying to take back my words, though I doubt that this is possible. I stare at my feet stupidly. “I just…”
“You just what?”
“I know how you feel, you’ve told me a million times, and I’ve told myself a million times that I have to respect it, but… I just hate holding back all the time.” I pause, watching him. “I know it’s selfish though.” I shake my head. “That’s why this is silly. I’m sorry.” I sigh. “Let’s just go home.”
He takes a step closer to me, shaking his head a little, and his eyes look sad for a second before he blinks, and smiles softly.
Then he closes the distance between us and kisses me. His tongue moves against mine possessively when I part my lips, and I allow him to take control before I reciprocate. To my surprise, after a moment he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls himself close to me.
His eyes are closed tight, and his arms are rigid around me, but when I try to pull away, he holds me close, and pushes his tongue deeper inside my mouth.
Takashi’s lips are soft, like always, and there’s a hint of vanilla there too, his new favorite flavor. I can feel him start to relax as our tongues move around each other in slow, almost dizzying circles. Deep in his mouth there’s a hint of sweetness, and coffee, and after another second I pull away, trying to catch my breath, and I realize that he’s panting too. And smiling sheepishly. And blushing.
“Satisfied?” he asks a moment later, licking his lips a little and grinning.
He laughs when he realizes he’s caught me at a loss for words.
“Leaving you speechless is ok too,” he says, smiling even wider, and I wonder how this is possible, when it already seems like he was grinning from ear to ear.
We start to walk again, and the world around me comes back into focus. The street, and the sounds of the cars on the road, and the distant rumble of the train behind us.
“Thank you,” I tell him, as I wrap my arm around his shoulders. I leave it there for a few steps, before I let it fall away.
He shakes his head when the contact is broken and moves closer to me. Our shoulders brush together.
“I know sometimes you need to be reminded.” He pauses. “I do too. So… It’s ok. I don’t want to have to hide all the time either.”
“So it’s not just me?”
“Of course not,” he says quickly. “I just don’t like to feel out of control like that when I might run into someone I know, someone I work with, ok? That’s all I meant.”
“You were out of control?” I tease. “I hardly noticed.”
He sighs. “Well, I’ve been trying to resist the urge to shove you into a corner all night, and so…”
“A corner…?” I stare at him, a little amused. “Really?”
He slaps my arm playfully, glaring at me. “Yeah, so?”
“That’s just…”
“What? You don’t want to?” He stops walking, looking a little hurt now. “It doesn’t drive you crazy having to sit next to me all night without being able to-”
“Takashi, of course it does. Why do you think I asked you to kiss me just now?”
“To embarrass me,” he pouts.
I laugh. “You know, I’m self-conscious too, sometimes. But…” I watch him, noticing the tension in his shoulders, and in his stance, and suddenly I feel a little sad. “With you I don’t want to be.”
He nods. “I don’t want to be either.”
I touch his shoulder. “I want you to be able to relax. I want it to be fun, when we’re out like this.”
“It is fun,” he argues, but I can still hear the tension in his voice. “Is it fun for you?”
“Of course it is. I love being with you,” I answer without thinking, because it’s true.
He watches me for a long moment before he shakes his head. “Then it’s fine, right? The important thing is that we get to do this, and still do everything else that we love, right? Because Yuuichi…” I watch as he takes a deep breath.
“No matter what,” he says, lowering his voice a little. “If someone finds out, they find out, ok? I don’t care. Even if it means that everything is over, that I have to start over, I don’t care. My career-”
“Your career is important Takashi, it’s what you’ve worked your whole life for. You can't say it’s-”
“It’s important, of course,” he says quickly, and there’s something serious flashing in his eyes that I’ve only honestly seen a handful of times in the years that I’ve known him. “I’m just saying that if I had to choose-”
“You won’t have to choose,” I cut him off, because I don’t want to hear this. It scares me, and it worries me, thinking about what would happen if the wrong person were to find out about us. I know that it’s silly to avoid thinking about it, but…
“That’s exactly what this is about,” I continue, aware of the fact that I’m beginning to sound a little frantic. “That’s why we’re so careful, right? So we won’t have to choose.”
“But if I had to.” He pauses, blinking several times, before he fixes me with another serious look that’s almost frightening in its severity.
“Everything is a choice, right?” he says. “Every second of every day. Every moment I spend with you. It’s a choice, and I’m just saying that I don’t regret anything. I won’t regret anything, any of this, ever. Even if…” His voice catches slightly, and his features soften a little. “Even if something bad happens. Even if it doesn’t end up the way we want it to. I won’t regret it. Because I made this choice a long time ago.”
I stare at him, and blink stupidly, like it seems I always do when Takashi takes me off guard like this.
He smiles after a moment. “Ok?”
I nod, and try to think of something more appropriate to say than just “ok”, but somehow that’s what comes out.
I follow him, when he starts walking.
He stifles a yawn a few moments later and looks up at me. “Since when is your apartment so far away?” A small smile plays across his lips. “And why didn’t we just take the train?”
I laugh, because I was thinking the exact same thing.
“We’re almost there.”
“I know,” he says softly, and the way he looks at me, I wonder if suddenly we’re talking about something else all together. He smiles at me after a moment though, and I can’t help but smile back.
“As long as you don’t decide to pull me into a corner, we should make it there before sunrise, anyway,” I tell him with a smirk.
He laughs, and then lowers his eyes. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Ok,” I tell him, but… My eyes are smiling, and I’m sure he knows I don’t really mean it.
This time I’m sure it doesn’t matter though.
***
Notes:
(1) Any similarity that this statement shares with the author’s personal thoughts is purely and entirely coincidental. ^_~
(2) See above.