Organized Chaos (Twenty-Seven)
Title: Organized Chaos
Author: Sunny
Pairing: Jack Barakat/ OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Yes. You're scared. And, I mean, you should be. I'm telling you that I'm going to be forcing you to face your fears. And that's fucking scary. But what I'm also saying is that I'm going to help you through it. So it's going to be fucking scary, but I'm going to be right there with you helping you through it...okay?” Jack felt calm and relaxed. He regularly felt that way around Wyatt, especially in the wee hours of the morning. “So?” Jack asked. “You up for it?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Sunny and I do own all members of Hyperinflated Illuminations. Thank you.
Warnings: Obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, alcoholism
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/57389.html
One week off. Dubs stood before Wyatt, holding out the schedule, and explaining that, yes, they had one entire week off before they finished the rest of the tour. He could go to his house, he could clean it, he could even go to the beach if he wanted. Wyatt laughed at that. As if he'd go to the beach and get all that sand all over him. That was a bit drastic. Yes, he was letting people gently guide him not to be so obsessive and compulsive about everything, but that didn't mean he wanted sand mites burrowing into his flesh. That was completely rational.
The one week off, however, was not completely rational. Jack had become a constant in Wyatt's life and giving him up, even for a few hours, seemed to put Wyatt's entire world into mass confusion and terror.
Of course, he had known about the week-long break at the beginning of tour. He had memorized that schedule the second he got it and it was still taped to the roof of his bunk. He just hadn't really been paying much mind to it lately; he was too absorbed in Jack to really care. Because of that, it turned out that the one week snuck up on him.
Of course, he still had a few more days before the break, plus they were holding a benefit concert in New York City while they were home, but Wyatt realized he needed to take time to himself. He needed to get used to the idea that he would be all alone for a week. One week of what was sure to be obsessive cleaning, rituals and orderliness. It would set him back. He was sure Jack would realize it. Maybe. Eventually.
But, he reminded himself, that one week could be a useful week. A week of planning. If he wanted to keep Jack, he'd have to get used to the idea of sex. And although Alex said Jack was a gentle lover, that didn't mean Wyatt wasn't afraid of all of the germs that came from touching someone else's body. Especially intimately.
Yes. This one week could be good. Wyatt could come up with a plan. The sex plan. And he would be able to talk himself out of the mass hysteria when they actually did decide to have sex because the plan would be in effect. And everything would be perfect.
Yes. A sex plan. Perfect.
***
“So, Jack,” Adele spoke up as the boy sat in their bus watching Wyatt cook dinner for everyone. “What's your plans for the week off?”
“Uhh, not sure,” Jack answered. “I hadn't really thought about it. Sleep. Annoy Alex. The usual.” He watched as Wyatt stiffened, and then noticeably forced himself to continue cooking.
“I already ate,” Vina's tired body dragged out of the back bunk area.
Wyatt glanced at her. “No, you didn't. You've been sleeping a lot. How much have you actually been eating?” he asked.
“I've been eating,” she insisted, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and letting herself drop down onto Landon's lap.
The confused boy looked up from the comic section of the newspaper and snuggled her close, letting his body heat seep into her own as he continue to read.
Wyatt frowned, sliding an omelet onto a plate and handing it to Jack who grinned up at him and immediately dug in. “What about you?” Jack asked around the food in his mouth. “What are you guys doing?”
“Landon and I are going to an amusement park for a couple of days. Vina and Wyatt usually keep to themselves,” Adele explained.
“That's not true,” Vina mumbled out. “I visit Wyatt every day when we're home. We do calming things, like Sudoku and read.”
“Yeah, you hang out for like two hours, then you go home and Wyatt cleans everywhere you've touched in his house,” Landon spoke up, sticking his face in the younger girl's neck.
Jack was looking at Wyatt as he continued to cook, slid another omelet onto a plate and passed it to Adele who smiled her thanks as he buttered her toast. “Is that what you do when you're alone?” Jack asked.
“Clean?” Wyatt asked, a small smirk on his face. “What did you expect I'd do? Play in the garden?”
“You have a gardener,” Vina spoke up, slightly confused as she chugged back her water.
“Of course I do,” Wyatt chuckled, trying to mask his terror at going home by himself; of giving up all the progress Jack had forced on him. Even if it was little things, like not wearing a tie in the morning or ignoring the scuff on his shoe for a couple more minutes as they kissed.
“What about when your house is all clean?” Jack asked.
“He writes,” Adele spoke up. “And comes up with new music. He reads. He cooks. He invites people over so he can clean once they're gone.”
“Not that much of a difference than when he's on tour, except he's left alone,” Landon said, closing the newspaper, then frowning and pulling a blanket around Vina.
Wyatt was staring at her and frowning. He hadn't seen her eat in days. “Vina, why don't you have some juice instead?”
“I have water, thanks,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and resting her head on Landon's shoulder as she snuggled into his warm embrace.
“What about you?” Jack turned to Wyatt. “Do you have any fun plans that no one knows about?”
Wyatt blushed, turning away and sliding yet another omelet onto a plate and handing it to Landon.
“That means there's something!” Adele sat forward, excitement written across her face. “Tell us!”
“No.”
“C'mon Wyatt! We're your family. We love you. Let us in!” Adele insisted.
“It's private, Adele,” Wyatt patronized.
Jack stood, walking up beside Wyatt and leaned in close to him. “Can I know?” he whispered into the younger boy's ear, leaning in and kissing the lobe.
“N-n-not right now...” Wyatt stuttered out, stepping away from the boy. Most of the time he found him calming, but it was times like that, times that Jack used his seductive voice, that Wyatt felt uncomfortableness mixed with a bit of a thrill.
He couldn't tell his whole bus about the sex plan that he planned to devise. But, he understood, Jack deserved to know. He deserved to know that he hadn't completely forgotten their talk, and he had to prove that he was just as willing to do anything for Jack. Anything to make him happy. Even devise a sex plan.
***
“So, are you going to tell me?” Jack had his legs entwined with Wyatt's in the back lounge of the bus. It was more for the added difficulty it would take for Wyatt to get up and clean the entire bus than for any sort of romance, but both men saw the romance in it just the same.
“Your bus is filthy?” Wyatt asked, looking everywhere but at Jack. He knew exactly what Jack wanted him to tell him.
“I knew that. That's why we're sitting here talking. I want you to tell me what you're going to do at home. All alone. Without me,” Jack pouted.
“Adele already told you. Clean, read, write, Sudoku, cook, clean some more.”
“And? What about the thing you won't tell anyone? I thought you were going to tell me. We're alone. I want to know! The curiosity is killing me!” Jack insisted.
Wyatt gently placed his hand over Jack's mouth to shield the rest of the sleeping bus from his loud voice, and therefore keep the conversation private. They were on their way to their last show before the break and Jack had insisted that Wyatt join him on the speeding bus to spend the utmost time together before they departed. He had even used those words, "utmost time together before they departed", which Wyatt had considered odd. Jack usually spoke in a more casual way.
“I don't know how to say it without you making fun of me,” Wyatt mumbled.
“Make fun of you? When do I make fun of you?” Jack grinned at Wyatt.
“You're doing it now,” Wyatt told him. “You do it whenever I fix something that's out of place, whenever I tell you that something mundane is bothering me, whenever I do something out of the ordinary. You have this smirk on your face and you grin at me.”
“I smirk and grin?” Jack asked. “That must be difficult.”
“You'd think,” Wyatt responded, turning to look out the window.
“Well, I promise not to smirk-grin at you if you tell me,” Jack insisted, leaning close and pressing his lips to Wyatt's neck before leaning his head on the boy's shoulder.
“I'm going to come up with a plan.” Wyatt just blurted it out. He didn't think he could do it, but he did.
“What kind of plan?” Jack sat up, excited now that the boy was talking. He'd have to remember that affection eliminated the fear Wyatt held toward him.
“This is going to sound so stupid,” Wyatt said, shaking his head. “I've been calling it “the sex plan” in my head.”
The grin started to come onto Jack's face. Wyatt saw it. However, somehow Jack had managed to contain it.
“The sex plan?” Jack asked. “Is it as exciting as it sounds?”
“Probably not,” Wyatt said, looking down. He was feeling embarrassed and awkward. He always felt awkward talking about sex.
“So, tell me about this plan. Am I included in it, or are you planning to have sex with other people?” Jack questioned. The smirk was there.
“You said you wouldn't make fun of me!” Wyatt whined.
Jack giggled. “You're right,” he laughed. “Sorry.” Composing his face, he stared expectantly at Wyatt.
“I'm scared,” Wyatt spoke up. “This isn't something I can just jump into. I need a plan.”
“This? You need a plan? What's “this”?” Jack questioned, more confused than amused now.
“Us. This. Sex. It scares me. I don't know how it works or what it feels like, and the germs. The germs terrify me. I stay up at night, just thinking about them. Did you know I brush my teeth after you kiss me. Every time. I wash my skin where you kiss me. I sneak Listerine strips into your mouth, I watch you brush your teeth, I even smell your hands after you've gone to the bathroom just to make sure you washed them!” Wyatt sighed. “Germs terrify me.”
“Wyatt,” Jack placed his hands on either side of the boy's head. “Of course I wash my hands after I go to the bathroom. I'm dating you. I like to think that I'm doing a pretty good job of helping you and ensuring that you don't freak out on me because of some hygiene issue. I wait for you to visit me in the morning before I brush my teeth, Jesus, I even pretend you don't shove Listerine strips in my mouth! I know that germs scare you.”
“But do you know how much they scare me?” Wyatt could feel the tears burning in his eyes. “Complete terror. I envision them crawling all over my body. I see them digging into my pours, attacking my body. Everything has germs. And I'm trying. I'm really trying because I want to be with you. I really want to be with you. I love you. I don't want you to leave me. And it's hard. So I need a plan. And I need to make it so that you wont leave me. So that I'll be able to please you. So that we can try. Try to have sex, because that's what you want and I understand that. And I want that too. But it's hard. So I need a plan and I need you to not make fun of me for it,” Wyatt blubbered.
Jack's serious face slowly transformed into a grin. “You love me?”
Wyatt hadn't even realized he'd let that slip out. It hadn't been a very long relationship at all and he'd already dropped the L-word.
“Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to let that out. You don't have to say it back,” Wyatt insisted.
“I know,” Jack grinned, leaning close and pressing his lips softly to Wyatt's. “But I want to.”
“Y-you want to?” Wyatt stuttered out. His brain always stopped working when Jack kissed him.
“Yes. Wyatt Daniels, I love you too.”
“R-really?” Wyatt asked.
“Yeah. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it,” Jack told him.
“Are you sure? Because I said it, so you probably felt obligated to say it too and if that's the ca-” Wyatt was cut off by Jack's lips back on his own. Jack was grinning as he pulled back. “I'm sure.”
Author: Sunny
Pairing: Jack Barakat/ OC
Rating: NC-17
Summary: “Yes. You're scared. And, I mean, you should be. I'm telling you that I'm going to be forcing you to face your fears. And that's fucking scary. But what I'm also saying is that I'm going to help you through it. So it's going to be fucking scary, but I'm going to be right there with you helping you through it...okay?” Jack felt calm and relaxed. He regularly felt that way around Wyatt, especially in the wee hours of the morning. “So?” Jack asked. “You up for it?”
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Sunny and I do own all members of Hyperinflated Illuminations. Thank you.
Warnings: Obsessive compulsive disorder, eating disorders, alcoholism
http://turnthepageover.livejournal.com/57389.html
One week off. Dubs stood before Wyatt, holding out the schedule, and explaining that, yes, they had one entire week off before they finished the rest of the tour. He could go to his house, he could clean it, he could even go to the beach if he wanted. Wyatt laughed at that. As if he'd go to the beach and get all that sand all over him. That was a bit drastic. Yes, he was letting people gently guide him not to be so obsessive and compulsive about everything, but that didn't mean he wanted sand mites burrowing into his flesh. That was completely rational.
The one week off, however, was not completely rational. Jack had become a constant in Wyatt's life and giving him up, even for a few hours, seemed to put Wyatt's entire world into mass confusion and terror.
Of course, he had known about the week-long break at the beginning of tour. He had memorized that schedule the second he got it and it was still taped to the roof of his bunk. He just hadn't really been paying much mind to it lately; he was too absorbed in Jack to really care. Because of that, it turned out that the one week snuck up on him.
Of course, he still had a few more days before the break, plus they were holding a benefit concert in New York City while they were home, but Wyatt realized he needed to take time to himself. He needed to get used to the idea that he would be all alone for a week. One week of what was sure to be obsessive cleaning, rituals and orderliness. It would set him back. He was sure Jack would realize it. Maybe. Eventually.
But, he reminded himself, that one week could be a useful week. A week of planning. If he wanted to keep Jack, he'd have to get used to the idea of sex. And although Alex said Jack was a gentle lover, that didn't mean Wyatt wasn't afraid of all of the germs that came from touching someone else's body. Especially intimately.
Yes. This one week could be good. Wyatt could come up with a plan. The sex plan. And he would be able to talk himself out of the mass hysteria when they actually did decide to have sex because the plan would be in effect. And everything would be perfect.
Yes. A sex plan. Perfect.
***
“So, Jack,” Adele spoke up as the boy sat in their bus watching Wyatt cook dinner for everyone. “What's your plans for the week off?”
“Uhh, not sure,” Jack answered. “I hadn't really thought about it. Sleep. Annoy Alex. The usual.” He watched as Wyatt stiffened, and then noticeably forced himself to continue cooking.
“I already ate,” Vina's tired body dragged out of the back bunk area.
Wyatt glanced at her. “No, you didn't. You've been sleeping a lot. How much have you actually been eating?” he asked.
“I've been eating,” she insisted, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and letting herself drop down onto Landon's lap.
The confused boy looked up from the comic section of the newspaper and snuggled her close, letting his body heat seep into her own as he continue to read.
Wyatt frowned, sliding an omelet onto a plate and handing it to Jack who grinned up at him and immediately dug in. “What about you?” Jack asked around the food in his mouth. “What are you guys doing?”
“Landon and I are going to an amusement park for a couple of days. Vina and Wyatt usually keep to themselves,” Adele explained.
“That's not true,” Vina mumbled out. “I visit Wyatt every day when we're home. We do calming things, like Sudoku and read.”
“Yeah, you hang out for like two hours, then you go home and Wyatt cleans everywhere you've touched in his house,” Landon spoke up, sticking his face in the younger girl's neck.
Jack was looking at Wyatt as he continued to cook, slid another omelet onto a plate and passed it to Adele who smiled her thanks as he buttered her toast. “Is that what you do when you're alone?” Jack asked.
“Clean?” Wyatt asked, a small smirk on his face. “What did you expect I'd do? Play in the garden?”
“You have a gardener,” Vina spoke up, slightly confused as she chugged back her water.
“Of course I do,” Wyatt chuckled, trying to mask his terror at going home by himself; of giving up all the progress Jack had forced on him. Even if it was little things, like not wearing a tie in the morning or ignoring the scuff on his shoe for a couple more minutes as they kissed.
“What about when your house is all clean?” Jack asked.
“He writes,” Adele spoke up. “And comes up with new music. He reads. He cooks. He invites people over so he can clean once they're gone.”
“Not that much of a difference than when he's on tour, except he's left alone,” Landon said, closing the newspaper, then frowning and pulling a blanket around Vina.
Wyatt was staring at her and frowning. He hadn't seen her eat in days. “Vina, why don't you have some juice instead?”
“I have water, thanks,” she mumbled, closing her eyes and resting her head on Landon's shoulder as she snuggled into his warm embrace.
“What about you?” Jack turned to Wyatt. “Do you have any fun plans that no one knows about?”
Wyatt blushed, turning away and sliding yet another omelet onto a plate and handing it to Landon.
“That means there's something!” Adele sat forward, excitement written across her face. “Tell us!”
“No.”
“C'mon Wyatt! We're your family. We love you. Let us in!” Adele insisted.
“It's private, Adele,” Wyatt patronized.
Jack stood, walking up beside Wyatt and leaned in close to him. “Can I know?” he whispered into the younger boy's ear, leaning in and kissing the lobe.
“N-n-not right now...” Wyatt stuttered out, stepping away from the boy. Most of the time he found him calming, but it was times like that, times that Jack used his seductive voice, that Wyatt felt uncomfortableness mixed with a bit of a thrill.
He couldn't tell his whole bus about the sex plan that he planned to devise. But, he understood, Jack deserved to know. He deserved to know that he hadn't completely forgotten their talk, and he had to prove that he was just as willing to do anything for Jack. Anything to make him happy. Even devise a sex plan.
***
“So, are you going to tell me?” Jack had his legs entwined with Wyatt's in the back lounge of the bus. It was more for the added difficulty it would take for Wyatt to get up and clean the entire bus than for any sort of romance, but both men saw the romance in it just the same.
“Your bus is filthy?” Wyatt asked, looking everywhere but at Jack. He knew exactly what Jack wanted him to tell him.
“I knew that. That's why we're sitting here talking. I want you to tell me what you're going to do at home. All alone. Without me,” Jack pouted.
“Adele already told you. Clean, read, write, Sudoku, cook, clean some more.”
“And? What about the thing you won't tell anyone? I thought you were going to tell me. We're alone. I want to know! The curiosity is killing me!” Jack insisted.
Wyatt gently placed his hand over Jack's mouth to shield the rest of the sleeping bus from his loud voice, and therefore keep the conversation private. They were on their way to their last show before the break and Jack had insisted that Wyatt join him on the speeding bus to spend the utmost time together before they departed. He had even used those words, "utmost time together before they departed", which Wyatt had considered odd. Jack usually spoke in a more casual way.
“I don't know how to say it without you making fun of me,” Wyatt mumbled.
“Make fun of you? When do I make fun of you?” Jack grinned at Wyatt.
“You're doing it now,” Wyatt told him. “You do it whenever I fix something that's out of place, whenever I tell you that something mundane is bothering me, whenever I do something out of the ordinary. You have this smirk on your face and you grin at me.”
“I smirk and grin?” Jack asked. “That must be difficult.”
“You'd think,” Wyatt responded, turning to look out the window.
“Well, I promise not to smirk-grin at you if you tell me,” Jack insisted, leaning close and pressing his lips to Wyatt's neck before leaning his head on the boy's shoulder.
“I'm going to come up with a plan.” Wyatt just blurted it out. He didn't think he could do it, but he did.
“What kind of plan?” Jack sat up, excited now that the boy was talking. He'd have to remember that affection eliminated the fear Wyatt held toward him.
“This is going to sound so stupid,” Wyatt said, shaking his head. “I've been calling it “the sex plan” in my head.”
The grin started to come onto Jack's face. Wyatt saw it. However, somehow Jack had managed to contain it.
“The sex plan?” Jack asked. “Is it as exciting as it sounds?”
“Probably not,” Wyatt said, looking down. He was feeling embarrassed and awkward. He always felt awkward talking about sex.
“So, tell me about this plan. Am I included in it, or are you planning to have sex with other people?” Jack questioned. The smirk was there.
“You said you wouldn't make fun of me!” Wyatt whined.
Jack giggled. “You're right,” he laughed. “Sorry.” Composing his face, he stared expectantly at Wyatt.
“I'm scared,” Wyatt spoke up. “This isn't something I can just jump into. I need a plan.”
“This? You need a plan? What's “this”?” Jack questioned, more confused than amused now.
“Us. This. Sex. It scares me. I don't know how it works or what it feels like, and the germs. The germs terrify me. I stay up at night, just thinking about them. Did you know I brush my teeth after you kiss me. Every time. I wash my skin where you kiss me. I sneak Listerine strips into your mouth, I watch you brush your teeth, I even smell your hands after you've gone to the bathroom just to make sure you washed them!” Wyatt sighed. “Germs terrify me.”
“Wyatt,” Jack placed his hands on either side of the boy's head. “Of course I wash my hands after I go to the bathroom. I'm dating you. I like to think that I'm doing a pretty good job of helping you and ensuring that you don't freak out on me because of some hygiene issue. I wait for you to visit me in the morning before I brush my teeth, Jesus, I even pretend you don't shove Listerine strips in my mouth! I know that germs scare you.”
“But do you know how much they scare me?” Wyatt could feel the tears burning in his eyes. “Complete terror. I envision them crawling all over my body. I see them digging into my pours, attacking my body. Everything has germs. And I'm trying. I'm really trying because I want to be with you. I really want to be with you. I love you. I don't want you to leave me. And it's hard. So I need a plan. And I need to make it so that you wont leave me. So that I'll be able to please you. So that we can try. Try to have sex, because that's what you want and I understand that. And I want that too. But it's hard. So I need a plan and I need you to not make fun of me for it,” Wyatt blubbered.
Jack's serious face slowly transformed into a grin. “You love me?”
Wyatt hadn't even realized he'd let that slip out. It hadn't been a very long relationship at all and he'd already dropped the L-word.
“Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to let that out. You don't have to say it back,” Wyatt insisted.
“I know,” Jack grinned, leaning close and pressing his lips softly to Wyatt's. “But I want to.”
“Y-you want to?” Wyatt stuttered out. His brain always stopped working when Jack kissed him.
“Yes. Wyatt Daniels, I love you too.”
“R-really?” Wyatt asked.
“Yeah. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it,” Jack told him.
“Are you sure? Because I said it, so you probably felt obligated to say it too and if that's the ca-” Wyatt was cut off by Jack's lips back on his own. Jack was grinning as he pulled back. “I'm sure.”