Keeping This Up Could Be Dangerous (Fourty-Four)
Title: Keeping This Up Could Be Dangerous
Rating: NC-17 Overall.
Pairing: Jack/Alex
Point of View: Jack
Disclaimer: Would I really be on here if I owned them? No, we'd be partying and having a wild time.
I laid on the floor of the van hiding under a huge pile of clothes that had I pulled out of my bag and threw over myself. I couldn't get that kiss out of my mind. I replayed it over and over in my head, along with Alex telling me he loved me. I wish he could say those words and actually mean them again. I wish that he was mine again. I knew it was childish to be hiding from him, but I've always done some of my best thinking while I was hiding. Like when I was nine and I realized that Mommy and Daddy weren't actually wrestling, I was hiding under my bed. Or when I was fourteen and I realized that I actually didn't like the way a girl's body looked at all, while I was hiding in my closet looking at playboys. I even discovered I was into Alex when I was hiding. I was at his house and I caught myself not being able to stop thinking about him. I ended up under his bed trying to figure out my head. Alex came and found me not long after that, and the two of us laid under his bed and talked.
Alex had always been there for me, but now I was finding it hard to be there for him. I wanted to, I really did, but the closer I got to him the more I got hurt. He didn't remember anything about what we had, or anything about how we broke apart. It bothered me that he didn't understand, I knew he didn't love me, but yet when he told me he did I couldn't help but hope. I knew it was wrong, I knew it wasn't true, but I couldn't get him out of my mind.
"Jack?" I heard Rian say as the van door flew open.
"There is no Jack in here!" I yelled from under the pile of clothes, "but judging by his clothes he is one sexy beast! God damn do you see his clothes?" I said.
"Jack, where are you?"
"I'm not Jack, maybe he ran away."
"Come on, Jack," he said, throwing clothes off of me, "Why were you under all your clothes?"
"I was thinking," I said, sitting up.
"About what?" Rian asked.
"Nothing."
"Alex?"
"Yeah," I sighed.
"What were you thinking about?"
"He...he kissed me, Rian, and I kissed him back. He told me he loved me but he can't, he doesn't know. He doesn't remember what happened between us, so why would he say that to me? I'm so confused, and I hate this," I blurted out. I knew I could always trust Rian but I was so confused I wasn't sure if what I said to him made me sound stupid.
"You miss him."
"Shut up, I don't want to think about him."
"Then let's go do something," Rian suggested.
"Like what?"
"I don't know, let's just go do something to take your mind off him."
"Alright," I said, pushing the rest of my clothes off of me, planning on cleaning them later, "let's go."
Rian and I walked out of the van before heading down the street. I was glad to be away from the van and Alex, but my mind was still stuck on him. I couldn't stop thinking about him, that was until Rian and I ended up at the mall.
"I brought you here because I think we both need some new shoes," Rian said looking down at our shoes that were getting pretty gross, "and besides that I know you like shoes and clothes so I figured why not bring you here."
"I like you. Are you going to buy my shoes for me?" I asked, hopeful.
"In your dreams, Jack," he laughed before we went inside.
---
Rian and I came back a bit later, carrying bags of shoes and hats and some pretty kick ass shirts that we found. It was kind of a girlie thing to go out and go shopping, but I was happy for the distraction, because as soon as we got back to he van, Alex was there, along with the others waiting for us.
"What's up, Matt?" Rian asked.
"We were waiting for you to get back so I could make an announcement, and now that your back, listen up," Matt commanded. "It seems that since Alex isn't making any progress on remembering anything, we are going to temporarily go off the tour. We'll stay in a hotel here in this town for about a week and if he doesn't recover we are going to have to quit the tour. Us following the other bands around while our lead singer doesn't remember his own songs is proving to just cause problems and we are just using up resources and getting in the way. IF Alex can regain his memory in the next week, we will go back on tour, but if we do end up finishing out this tour, I've got another lined up."
"With who?" Zack asked.
"We would be going on tour with Rancid Radio."
"That's Rayne's band," I said.
"Uhm, Matt, are you sure that's a good idea after everything that happened?"
"Look, guys, if you want to make it in this business you are going to have to work with people that you might not get along with. The whole fight is behind us now, and they would like to start fresh. It would only be for maybe ten shows at the most. We would just be going back through the venues we missed on this tour, they were willing to come along so we could do that. They have a bigger name than us, and we need to get our name out there, so please just try and get along with them."
"No problem, Matt," Rian said, "Zack and I will keep and eye on these two if we end up having to make up those shows."
"Thank you. Now lets head over to the hotel, and check in, hopefully we won't be there long."
****
A/N: Fuck me, guys. It's been a really long time, and I aplogize thoroughly. But my laptop is broken. I need a new battery, and my mother is like, refusing to order me one. And Amber's just a lazy fuck and took her sweet time writing this chapter. Anyway, the next one will be up tonight, I hope. If not, then tomorrow. And it contains some sexual content, so get pumped. ;)
Rating: NC-17 Overall.
Pairing: Jack/Alex
Point of View: Jack
Disclaimer: Would I really be on here if I owned them? No, we'd be partying and having a wild time.
I laid on the floor of the van hiding under a huge pile of clothes that had I pulled out of my bag and threw over myself. I couldn't get that kiss out of my mind. I replayed it over and over in my head, along with Alex telling me he loved me. I wish he could say those words and actually mean them again. I wish that he was mine again. I knew it was childish to be hiding from him, but I've always done some of my best thinking while I was hiding. Like when I was nine and I realized that Mommy and Daddy weren't actually wrestling, I was hiding under my bed. Or when I was fourteen and I realized that I actually didn't like the way a girl's body looked at all, while I was hiding in my closet looking at playboys. I even discovered I was into Alex when I was hiding. I was at his house and I caught myself not being able to stop thinking about him. I ended up under his bed trying to figure out my head. Alex came and found me not long after that, and the two of us laid under his bed and talked.
Alex had always been there for me, but now I was finding it hard to be there for him. I wanted to, I really did, but the closer I got to him the more I got hurt. He didn't remember anything about what we had, or anything about how we broke apart. It bothered me that he didn't understand, I knew he didn't love me, but yet when he told me he did I couldn't help but hope. I knew it was wrong, I knew it wasn't true, but I couldn't get him out of my mind.
"Jack?" I heard Rian say as the van door flew open.
"There is no Jack in here!" I yelled from under the pile of clothes, "but judging by his clothes he is one sexy beast! God damn do you see his clothes?" I said.
"Jack, where are you?"
"I'm not Jack, maybe he ran away."
"Come on, Jack," he said, throwing clothes off of me, "Why were you under all your clothes?"
"I was thinking," I said, sitting up.
"About what?" Rian asked.
"Nothing."
"Alex?"
"Yeah," I sighed.
"What were you thinking about?"
"He...he kissed me, Rian, and I kissed him back. He told me he loved me but he can't, he doesn't know. He doesn't remember what happened between us, so why would he say that to me? I'm so confused, and I hate this," I blurted out. I knew I could always trust Rian but I was so confused I wasn't sure if what I said to him made me sound stupid.
"You miss him."
"Shut up, I don't want to think about him."
"Then let's go do something," Rian suggested.
"Like what?"
"I don't know, let's just go do something to take your mind off him."
"Alright," I said, pushing the rest of my clothes off of me, planning on cleaning them later, "let's go."
Rian and I walked out of the van before heading down the street. I was glad to be away from the van and Alex, but my mind was still stuck on him. I couldn't stop thinking about him, that was until Rian and I ended up at the mall.
"I brought you here because I think we both need some new shoes," Rian said looking down at our shoes that were getting pretty gross, "and besides that I know you like shoes and clothes so I figured why not bring you here."
"I like you. Are you going to buy my shoes for me?" I asked, hopeful.
"In your dreams, Jack," he laughed before we went inside.
---
Rian and I came back a bit later, carrying bags of shoes and hats and some pretty kick ass shirts that we found. It was kind of a girlie thing to go out and go shopping, but I was happy for the distraction, because as soon as we got back to he van, Alex was there, along with the others waiting for us.
"What's up, Matt?" Rian asked.
"We were waiting for you to get back so I could make an announcement, and now that your back, listen up," Matt commanded. "It seems that since Alex isn't making any progress on remembering anything, we are going to temporarily go off the tour. We'll stay in a hotel here in this town for about a week and if he doesn't recover we are going to have to quit the tour. Us following the other bands around while our lead singer doesn't remember his own songs is proving to just cause problems and we are just using up resources and getting in the way. IF Alex can regain his memory in the next week, we will go back on tour, but if we do end up finishing out this tour, I've got another lined up."
"With who?" Zack asked.
"We would be going on tour with Rancid Radio."
"That's Rayne's band," I said.
"Uhm, Matt, are you sure that's a good idea after everything that happened?"
"Look, guys, if you want to make it in this business you are going to have to work with people that you might not get along with. The whole fight is behind us now, and they would like to start fresh. It would only be for maybe ten shows at the most. We would just be going back through the venues we missed on this tour, they were willing to come along so we could do that. They have a bigger name than us, and we need to get our name out there, so please just try and get along with them."
"No problem, Matt," Rian said, "Zack and I will keep and eye on these two if we end up having to make up those shows."
"Thank you. Now lets head over to the hotel, and check in, hopefully we won't be there long."
****
A/N: Fuck me, guys. It's been a really long time, and I aplogize thoroughly. But my laptop is broken. I need a new battery, and my mother is like, refusing to order me one. And Amber's just a lazy fuck and took her sweet time writing this chapter. Anyway, the next one will be up tonight, I hope. If not, then tomorrow. And it contains some sexual content, so get pumped. ;)