[fanfiction] Second Chances - MizusawaxHino [One-Shot]
Title: Second Chances
Rating: PG13 - R It's a bit of a fence sitter...Mizusawa x Hino (TomoNishi)
Pairing: Mizusawa x Hino (TomoNishi)
Word Count: 3,266 words
Fandom: Tumbling
Summary: Mizusawa is alone after Azuma's departure. He thinks this is what he wants, but is it really? Will Hino's arrival be a burden or a blessing?
Warnings: Spoilers for epsiodes 5 through 7 I guess. I can't think of anything else really.
ALSO Thankyou to tsumetaikaze for beta-ing for me <3
~::+::~
A new wave of sobs wracked Mizusawa’s body when he felt Azuma’s presence leave the room. Only moments ago, he felt that he wanted - no, needed - to be alone. But now that his friend had gone he realised just how much that was not what he wanted.
At least while someone was over his shoulder he could create the illusion in his mind that they liked him despite his sexuality, that they didn’t think he was disgusting - like he knew he was.
Because it was wrong for him to feel the way he did for someone who was now a teammate. All he’d achieved was creating a burden for Kiyama that he didn’t deserve.
Mizusawa rested his forehead on the cool surface of the table and let tears flow freely once again. If he could keep his vision clear enough for a few moments he could see the tears welling together on the counter, rippling slightly as another joined the formation.
“Mizusawa…” He froze upon hearing the familiar voice, not having noticed the presence of another in the room until just that moment. He lifted his head slightly to compose himself, even if only a little. He knew very well his eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tears - and wiping them away now wouldn’t diminish their existence.
He slowly glanced over his shoulder towards the visitor.
He felt a gasp catch in the back of his throat. “Hino?” he breathed, blinking the blurry tears from his eyes. “How long have you been standing there?”
Hino’s expression remained the same, but he moved into the room to stand closer to the table.
“Not very long,” he answered quietly.
“Why…?” Mizusawa began, trying to keep his jaw from shaking. “Why are you here?”
“Why are you?” was the only reply.
Mizusawa frowned. Hino had not been there when he had been shamed in front of his friends. Maybe… maybe Hino didn’t know. Before he could explore this thought further, Hino spoke.
“You shouldn’t let what anyone else thinks bother you this much.”
Mizusawa worried his bottom lip between his teeth and turned forward once again.
“But they’re my friends. Well, were my friends, at least.”
He could hear Hino’s light footsteps tracing around him to stand by his side, close enough to be considered a gesture of comfort. But this was Hino, Mizusawa knew better than to think that.
“And they won’t stop being your friends either.” Hino’s words seemed kind, but his voice remained emotionless and harsh.
Mizusawa leant his chin on his clasped hands, letting his fingers cover his mouth where he knew he couldn’t hide the frown.
“And if they do… they’re not worth your time.”
Mizusawa noticed something this time - emotion. Anger. Mizusawa wasn’t one for judging what he didn’t know, but he felt that Hino was angry with something that had also happened to himself.
He snapped his head to the other to try and catch the emotion on his face as well, but it was already gone. Hino once again looked unmoved and completely detached from the situation, though his eyes were concentrating on a distant, unimportant corner of the room.
“They have every right to hate me…” Mizusawa closed his eyes tightly and let his head fall back down low. “I’m truly disgusting.”
The next time his eyes opened, Hino’s were on him, poised and focused.
“You’re not disgusting,” he stated firmly. “And it just shows how naïve you must be to even think that.”
Mizusawa remained silent, unsure of whether there was even a way to reply to that statement at all.
“If you’re unconvinced then ask them, but don’t put words and thoughts into their mouths. You need to go to them, help them train and be friends like normal. They can’t do this without you.”
Hino’s words would have been inspirational had he not been outside the door when he’d heard his friends talking, heard the words they used. He was a burden, and it really was disgusting.
He took in a deep breath, which would have come across as a sob, and in the end that was probably a closer adjective.
“Well they’re going to have to,” he said, standing face to face with Hino. He knew his eyes were still red and his cheeks were still damp, but he gave his best impression of calm.
“What do you mean?” Hino questioned, his head only just visibly tilting.
“I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t help them when I can’t help myself.” He stepped around Hino so that he could head for the door.
“You’re quitting?”
Mizusawa stopped only moments from his exit, and without turning he nodded sadly, feeling tears forming once more.
“You’re being selfish, Mizusawa,” Hino almost shouted at him.
He felt his heart skip a beat. He had never once heard that in his voice, something that made Hino seem like a real person and not the perfect puppet on a pedestal that he’d thought he was.
He turned to face him, despite the weakness showing through on his features.
“If you quit, I can only assume you should have never been a part of the team in the first place!” Hino strode forward stopping close enough for Mizusawa to feel his warm breath across his damp cheeks. “You were never strong enough, and you never will be.”
The words hit harder than any blow to the stomach ever could. He ran them through his mind over and over as he took in a deep breath to try to stifle his bubbling emotions.
But he couldn’t…
“Don’t…” he stammered out uncontrollably. “Don’t judge something you couldn’t possibly understand.”
Hino’s eyes were sharp and piercing, his chest rising and falling, his jaw clenched.
“I don’t understand...” he repeated quietly, and walked around Mizusawa to the door, their shoulders bumping as he passed by.
“Did you ever stop to think,” Hino said, facing the empty corridor, “that maybe you’re the one that doesn’t understand?”
Only a moment later and Mizusawa was alone again.
~::+::~
For the first time in a couple of weeks Mizusawa felt like everything was back into place. He was back with his friends, they were back to training and he had come to an understanding with Kiyama. In fact, he was more or less over his crush on the other. Rejection can do that to a person. But he knew there was no reason to cling to something that was never there, and never would be. He was more than content that they were friends, that they were all still friends, despite everything.
There had been a new development however, and that was Hino. He had become a part of their group routine, and a contributing member of their club. It was as though it was only just recently that he really joined. They were all happy to have him there too.
Hino was someone to look up to, a bar that was set high enough to keep pushing themselves, but still remained attainable. The knowledge and ease he brought to the team and their confidence was astounding. They had never been stronger.
Mizusawa was overjoyed they were all getting along so well, that their friendships extended beyond the floor of the Gymnastics mat and onto a far more personal level.
There was only one thing that bothered him.
Hino. He was so extremely kind now, a whole new person from the stiff and routine man he was befpre. This wasn’t the problem; it was how he treated Mizusawa different to the others.
Different in that; eye contact would be minimal most times, and others it would linger too long. Words were rarely directed to him and only to the group. But what bothered him most of all was the moments when they were alone. The silence was distressing; he could basically hear the shiver running down his spine when Hino would give him a slightly forced smile before departing to find a place where there were other people.
Mizusawa knew this was because of what had happened in the cafeteria before he’d left the training camp. He wished he had the guts to bring it up so they could talk about it, but the truth was he was just so ashamed of how he had acted toward the other, and still so confused about what they had spoken about.
He had contemplated it on many occasions since that night, but considered his conclusions impossible.
Hino had seemed as though he knew what he was going through far too well….
~::+::~
Mizusawa puffed as he jogged back to the locker room. He’d forgotten his wallet somewhere in there, and he prayed it wasn’t too late to get it back.
After almost slamming into the door with excitement, he breathed a sigh of relief when the knob turned easily in his hand and opened swiftly. He took the stairs down two at a time in his rush to get to his locker, hoping desperately that it had fallen from his pocket when he’d changed.
A rustling distracted him from his search. In his haste he had not checked if the room was occupied or not, and apparently it was.
“Hino…” he breathed, noticing the other kneeling at the small table, packing his belongings. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt you?”
“No,” Hino replied, standing and slinging his red bag over his shoulder. “I was just leaving anyway.”
Mizusawa frowned. He highly doubted that. “Hino wait…” he called, before Hino could make it up the stairs. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
Hino stopped, turned and stepped back down to Mizusawa’s level.
“What about?” he asked, a strained smile gracing his lips. This almost threw Mizusawa off, but he held his ground despite Hino’s indifference.
“About training camp, about the talk we had.”
Hino’s smile completely disappeared and his eyes narrowed the moment the words training camp left his mouth.
“A couple of the things you said had me thinking,” he began slowly, making sure he kept solid eye contact with his counterpart. “I got the impression that maybe you’d gone through something similar to what happened to me that day…” He left a silence for Hino to correct him, but nothing came, so he continued. “Then you said that I was the one who didn’t understand.” He paused once more, as a way of collecting evidence in his mind before presenting it.
“And I’ve been noticing since then that you look at me a lot when no-one else is looking. You don’t talk to me when we’re in a group and it’s always absolute silence when we’re alone.” He took in a breath, looking briefly to his feet and back up to Hino’s eyes. “Just like the way I had been with Kiyama…”
Hino’s eyes blinked quickly before widening slightly. Mizusawa stepped forward a little. He felt there was no doubting it now.
“When I think about what you said now, it makes me think that maybe…” He didn’t finish his sentence before Hino interrupted.
“It-It’s not true,” he stammered, sounding somewhat flustered.
“Then what else could you have meant?” Mizusawa tried not to act as shocked as he was from both Hino’s denial and his anxiousness.
Hino closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, as if the motion relaxed him a little. After a second or so he released a breath and returned his attention to Mizusawa.
“That may have been the case at the time, but it no longer applies.” Hino‘s eyes were now solidly focused.
“So you’re saying you used to like me…” Mizusawa deducted. “And now you don’t?”
“Exactly.” The word was so cold it stung. “You’re not the person I thought you were,” Hino explained with a light shrug of his shoulders. “You gave up too easily, and didn’t give your friends a chance when they deserved one.”
Mizusawa looked sadly to the floor.
“I didn’t tell you this then, but before we spoke …” Mizusawa bit his lip loosely. “I’d overheard the others talking.” He stopped abruptly, unsure of whether he could continue. The event may have long since passed, but the hurt would never be forgotten. He breathed in sharply.
“To have your friends use the word ‘disgusting’ in relation to something you have no control over is the most painful thing…” He needed to resist the urge to let the feelings from that night resurface.
Mizusawa could feel the silence growing and growing, but he kept his eyes to the floor and his lips pursed in concentration.
“… I know,” he heard Hino say quietly.
Mizusawa looked up to see Hino’s eyes glazed over slightly, his jaw clenched.
“I’m sorry,” Mizusawa said in apology for making Hino re-live a moment in his life he clearly didn’t wish to. Hino remained silent after that.
“I still wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me that night,” he said, bowing his head slightly in a gesture of gratitude. “I’m sorry I didn’t actually take it, and let my feelings take over me. You were right - I was being selfish.”
“You should know that I wasn’t upset with you,” Hino said, his voice remaining as quiet as before. “I was upset… that all this time you had friends that liked you no matter what. You gave them a second chance and they let you back in.”
Mizusawa listened carefully as Hino recounted his thoughts.
“I realised that I should have done the same. But instead, I kept walking and never looked back.” A single tear fell across Hino’s delicate features to land soundlessly on the cool floor. Mizusawa’s heart sank.
“I wasn’t upset because you didn’t take my advice; I was upset that I almost let you make the same mistake I did.” Mizusawa didn’t miss the shudder in Hino’s breath when he attempted to compose himself. “Until now, I’d never had the confidence to really express myself to people. I was afraid, just like you were.”
Mizusawa lifted a hand to Hino’s shoulder, and with a light pull Hino’s small frame fell forward into his body. Tracing his arms around his slim shoulders he embraced him tightly, feeling Hino’s hands grasping the back of his jacket securely, twisting the fabric between his fingers.
Mizusawa could feel the gentle shaking of his shoulders, and the distinct dampness of tears gathering on the front of his uniform.
He rested his head on the slightly shorter boy’s, and after a few moments he could feel Hino’s body relaxing. His shaking had mostly subsided, replacing it with heavy breaths that Mizusawa could feel warm against the nape of his neck.
Mizusawa knew then that this was one of those times to live in the moment, and do what your heart is telling you and not what your mind tries to forbid.
He pulls back from Hino enough for their eyes to meet once more, Hino’s were red and puffy from emotions, and his cheeks were stained from sadness. A tear rested in the corner of his perfect lips. Mizusawa took his cheeks within the palms of his hands.
Mizusawa could tell Hino’s eyes were searching his own face for any kind of sign of what he was thinking. Mizusawa’s eyebrows creased in the centre shielding his concern as best he could. Gathering up what confidence he had inside, he leant forward so that their lips met.
Hino stiffened briefly, his hands still clenched at Mizusawa’s back did not move. This kiss didn’t linger, Mizusawa pulling back to notice Hino tried to follow him, with his eyes squeezed shut and his lips parted.
Mizusawa couldn’t stop the smile that overcame his face, when Hino blinked himself aware. Hino's face conveyed confusion as he seemed to search for something to possibly say, his mouth moving soundlessly.
Mizusawa shook his head as if to tell Hino that he didn’t need to explain everything, and he certainly didn’t need a reason to do it. Hino looked as if to come to the very same conclusion, just as his eyes darkened with something Mizusawa could not read.
That was until he was pushed up against the steel locker with Hino’s body pressed tightly against his. The lock digging into the small of his back only bothered him momentarily, because it wasn’t long before Hino captured his lips in a far more intense kiss, one that knocked the air from his lungs and forced his knees to buckle.
Mizusawa could have sworn for a second there he could feel Hino’s tongue halfway down his throat, but no, it was the passion fooling him. Hino’s hands here grasped tightly at his waist band, seeming to be caught between deciding whether too pull Mizusawa’s hips forward into his own or grind him into the locker door.
Their battle raged on, all teeth and tongues in a fight for dominance which Mizusawa could feel himself already relinquishing to. A part of him deciding that this would not do, took control to hoist Hino small frame off his feet and force the other’s legs to encircle his waist. Something that Hino seemed more than happy to do. Mizusawa’s hands kept him stable on his upper thighs, though it seemed unnecessary with the vice-like grip Hino’s legs had around his waist.
With Hino’s new, slightly higher vantage point, Mizusawa no longer has to tilt his neck down for their unbroken kiss. Instead Hino’s body is crouched over so his hands cradle Mizusawa’s neck gently.
To take the strain from his unstable legs, Mizusawa turned them both around so that he could force Hino’s body into the locker to partially support his weight and Mizusawa could concentrate on far more important things. Like the way one of Hino’s hands had sunk down the back of his shirt to dig his nails into the bare skin there. In reaction to the sensation, Mizusawa’s own fingers clenched harshly into Hino’s upper thighs.
The kiss had taken on a level of abandon Mizusawa didn’t even think was possible. And he could feel the blood in his body quickly welling in the pit of his stomach where his body temperature was quickly increasing. He found himself unconsciously thrusting Hino’s body harder and harder into the locker’s solid structure.
Stimulated from the tastes, sounds and sensations Hino was producing for him, Mizusawa was suddenly very ware that he was becoming noticeably aroused in a very public place. And as much as every fibre of his being wanted to continue with ravishing Hino’s mouth and body, he knew that this was not the time or place for that to happen.
Reluctantly breaking his lips from Hino’s, he rested their foreheads together to compose his breathing. Something Hino was having the same trouble accomplishing, his legs giving one last tight squeeze before his body almost completely relaxed in Mizusawa’s arms. Realizing that he too had depleted most of his energy, Mizusawa let himself drop slowly to the floor, Hino’s body sliding down the locker door with him to come to a sitting position on the ground. Mizusawa remained kneeling between Hino’s legs which still almost completely encircled him.
Their warm breath mingled while their faces remained so close and their hands clasped together by their sides.
“My parents are expecting me home…” Mizusawa voice was only just above a whisper.
Hino nodded, seemingly not composed enough to form words in replacement of laboured breathing.
Mizusawa smiled, leaning in for another kiss against Hino’s parted lips.
“… But tomorrow?”
Hino grinned.
End.
And I also changed the wallpaper I uploaded the other day, if anyone would like it. It's still nothing fantastic, but it was fun ^^ (scans from reina66)
Enjoy <3
Rating: PG13 - R It's a bit of a fence sitter...Mizusawa x Hino (TomoNishi)
Pairing: Mizusawa x Hino (TomoNishi)
Word Count: 3,266 words
Fandom: Tumbling
Summary: Mizusawa is alone after Azuma's departure. He thinks this is what he wants, but is it really? Will Hino's arrival be a burden or a blessing?
Warnings: Spoilers for epsiodes 5 through 7 I guess. I can't think of anything else really.
ALSO Thankyou to tsumetaikaze for beta-ing for me <3
~::+::~
A new wave of sobs wracked Mizusawa’s body when he felt Azuma’s presence leave the room. Only moments ago, he felt that he wanted - no, needed - to be alone. But now that his friend had gone he realised just how much that was not what he wanted.
At least while someone was over his shoulder he could create the illusion in his mind that they liked him despite his sexuality, that they didn’t think he was disgusting - like he knew he was.
Because it was wrong for him to feel the way he did for someone who was now a teammate. All he’d achieved was creating a burden for Kiyama that he didn’t deserve.
Mizusawa rested his forehead on the cool surface of the table and let tears flow freely once again. If he could keep his vision clear enough for a few moments he could see the tears welling together on the counter, rippling slightly as another joined the formation.
“Mizusawa…” He froze upon hearing the familiar voice, not having noticed the presence of another in the room until just that moment. He lifted his head slightly to compose himself, even if only a little. He knew very well his eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks stained with tears - and wiping them away now wouldn’t diminish their existence.
He slowly glanced over his shoulder towards the visitor.
He felt a gasp catch in the back of his throat. “Hino?” he breathed, blinking the blurry tears from his eyes. “How long have you been standing there?”
Hino’s expression remained the same, but he moved into the room to stand closer to the table.
“Not very long,” he answered quietly.
“Why…?” Mizusawa began, trying to keep his jaw from shaking. “Why are you here?”
“Why are you?” was the only reply.
Mizusawa frowned. Hino had not been there when he had been shamed in front of his friends. Maybe… maybe Hino didn’t know. Before he could explore this thought further, Hino spoke.
“You shouldn’t let what anyone else thinks bother you this much.”
Mizusawa worried his bottom lip between his teeth and turned forward once again.
“But they’re my friends. Well, were my friends, at least.”
He could hear Hino’s light footsteps tracing around him to stand by his side, close enough to be considered a gesture of comfort. But this was Hino, Mizusawa knew better than to think that.
“And they won’t stop being your friends either.” Hino’s words seemed kind, but his voice remained emotionless and harsh.
Mizusawa leant his chin on his clasped hands, letting his fingers cover his mouth where he knew he couldn’t hide the frown.
“And if they do… they’re not worth your time.”
Mizusawa noticed something this time - emotion. Anger. Mizusawa wasn’t one for judging what he didn’t know, but he felt that Hino was angry with something that had also happened to himself.
He snapped his head to the other to try and catch the emotion on his face as well, but it was already gone. Hino once again looked unmoved and completely detached from the situation, though his eyes were concentrating on a distant, unimportant corner of the room.
“They have every right to hate me…” Mizusawa closed his eyes tightly and let his head fall back down low. “I’m truly disgusting.”
The next time his eyes opened, Hino’s were on him, poised and focused.
“You’re not disgusting,” he stated firmly. “And it just shows how naïve you must be to even think that.”
Mizusawa remained silent, unsure of whether there was even a way to reply to that statement at all.
“If you’re unconvinced then ask them, but don’t put words and thoughts into their mouths. You need to go to them, help them train and be friends like normal. They can’t do this without you.”
Hino’s words would have been inspirational had he not been outside the door when he’d heard his friends talking, heard the words they used. He was a burden, and it really was disgusting.
He took in a deep breath, which would have come across as a sob, and in the end that was probably a closer adjective.
“Well they’re going to have to,” he said, standing face to face with Hino. He knew his eyes were still red and his cheeks were still damp, but he gave his best impression of calm.
“What do you mean?” Hino questioned, his head only just visibly tilting.
“I can’t stay here anymore. I can’t help them when I can’t help myself.” He stepped around Hino so that he could head for the door.
“You’re quitting?”
Mizusawa stopped only moments from his exit, and without turning he nodded sadly, feeling tears forming once more.
“You’re being selfish, Mizusawa,” Hino almost shouted at him.
He felt his heart skip a beat. He had never once heard that in his voice, something that made Hino seem like a real person and not the perfect puppet on a pedestal that he’d thought he was.
He turned to face him, despite the weakness showing through on his features.
“If you quit, I can only assume you should have never been a part of the team in the first place!” Hino strode forward stopping close enough for Mizusawa to feel his warm breath across his damp cheeks. “You were never strong enough, and you never will be.”
The words hit harder than any blow to the stomach ever could. He ran them through his mind over and over as he took in a deep breath to try to stifle his bubbling emotions.
But he couldn’t…
“Don’t…” he stammered out uncontrollably. “Don’t judge something you couldn’t possibly understand.”
Hino’s eyes were sharp and piercing, his chest rising and falling, his jaw clenched.
“I don’t understand...” he repeated quietly, and walked around Mizusawa to the door, their shoulders bumping as he passed by.
“Did you ever stop to think,” Hino said, facing the empty corridor, “that maybe you’re the one that doesn’t understand?”
Only a moment later and Mizusawa was alone again.
~::+::~
For the first time in a couple of weeks Mizusawa felt like everything was back into place. He was back with his friends, they were back to training and he had come to an understanding with Kiyama. In fact, he was more or less over his crush on the other. Rejection can do that to a person. But he knew there was no reason to cling to something that was never there, and never would be. He was more than content that they were friends, that they were all still friends, despite everything.
There had been a new development however, and that was Hino. He had become a part of their group routine, and a contributing member of their club. It was as though it was only just recently that he really joined. They were all happy to have him there too.
Hino was someone to look up to, a bar that was set high enough to keep pushing themselves, but still remained attainable. The knowledge and ease he brought to the team and their confidence was astounding. They had never been stronger.
Mizusawa was overjoyed they were all getting along so well, that their friendships extended beyond the floor of the Gymnastics mat and onto a far more personal level.
There was only one thing that bothered him.
Hino. He was so extremely kind now, a whole new person from the stiff and routine man he was befpre. This wasn’t the problem; it was how he treated Mizusawa different to the others.
Different in that; eye contact would be minimal most times, and others it would linger too long. Words were rarely directed to him and only to the group. But what bothered him most of all was the moments when they were alone. The silence was distressing; he could basically hear the shiver running down his spine when Hino would give him a slightly forced smile before departing to find a place where there were other people.
Mizusawa knew this was because of what had happened in the cafeteria before he’d left the training camp. He wished he had the guts to bring it up so they could talk about it, but the truth was he was just so ashamed of how he had acted toward the other, and still so confused about what they had spoken about.
He had contemplated it on many occasions since that night, but considered his conclusions impossible.
Hino had seemed as though he knew what he was going through far too well….
~::+::~
Mizusawa puffed as he jogged back to the locker room. He’d forgotten his wallet somewhere in there, and he prayed it wasn’t too late to get it back.
After almost slamming into the door with excitement, he breathed a sigh of relief when the knob turned easily in his hand and opened swiftly. He took the stairs down two at a time in his rush to get to his locker, hoping desperately that it had fallen from his pocket when he’d changed.
A rustling distracted him from his search. In his haste he had not checked if the room was occupied or not, and apparently it was.
“Hino…” he breathed, noticing the other kneeling at the small table, packing his belongings. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt you?”
“No,” Hino replied, standing and slinging his red bag over his shoulder. “I was just leaving anyway.”
Mizusawa frowned. He highly doubted that. “Hino wait…” he called, before Hino could make it up the stairs. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
Hino stopped, turned and stepped back down to Mizusawa’s level.
“What about?” he asked, a strained smile gracing his lips. This almost threw Mizusawa off, but he held his ground despite Hino’s indifference.
“About training camp, about the talk we had.”
Hino’s smile completely disappeared and his eyes narrowed the moment the words training camp left his mouth.
“A couple of the things you said had me thinking,” he began slowly, making sure he kept solid eye contact with his counterpart. “I got the impression that maybe you’d gone through something similar to what happened to me that day…” He left a silence for Hino to correct him, but nothing came, so he continued. “Then you said that I was the one who didn’t understand.” He paused once more, as a way of collecting evidence in his mind before presenting it.
“And I’ve been noticing since then that you look at me a lot when no-one else is looking. You don’t talk to me when we’re in a group and it’s always absolute silence when we’re alone.” He took in a breath, looking briefly to his feet and back up to Hino’s eyes. “Just like the way I had been with Kiyama…”
Hino’s eyes blinked quickly before widening slightly. Mizusawa stepped forward a little. He felt there was no doubting it now.
“When I think about what you said now, it makes me think that maybe…” He didn’t finish his sentence before Hino interrupted.
“It-It’s not true,” he stammered, sounding somewhat flustered.
“Then what else could you have meant?” Mizusawa tried not to act as shocked as he was from both Hino’s denial and his anxiousness.
Hino closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, as if the motion relaxed him a little. After a second or so he released a breath and returned his attention to Mizusawa.
“That may have been the case at the time, but it no longer applies.” Hino‘s eyes were now solidly focused.
“So you’re saying you used to like me…” Mizusawa deducted. “And now you don’t?”
“Exactly.” The word was so cold it stung. “You’re not the person I thought you were,” Hino explained with a light shrug of his shoulders. “You gave up too easily, and didn’t give your friends a chance when they deserved one.”
Mizusawa looked sadly to the floor.
“I didn’t tell you this then, but before we spoke …” Mizusawa bit his lip loosely. “I’d overheard the others talking.” He stopped abruptly, unsure of whether he could continue. The event may have long since passed, but the hurt would never be forgotten. He breathed in sharply.
“To have your friends use the word ‘disgusting’ in relation to something you have no control over is the most painful thing…” He needed to resist the urge to let the feelings from that night resurface.
Mizusawa could feel the silence growing and growing, but he kept his eyes to the floor and his lips pursed in concentration.
“… I know,” he heard Hino say quietly.
Mizusawa looked up to see Hino’s eyes glazed over slightly, his jaw clenched.
“I’m sorry,” Mizusawa said in apology for making Hino re-live a moment in his life he clearly didn’t wish to. Hino remained silent after that.
“I still wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me that night,” he said, bowing his head slightly in a gesture of gratitude. “I’m sorry I didn’t actually take it, and let my feelings take over me. You were right - I was being selfish.”
“You should know that I wasn’t upset with you,” Hino said, his voice remaining as quiet as before. “I was upset… that all this time you had friends that liked you no matter what. You gave them a second chance and they let you back in.”
Mizusawa listened carefully as Hino recounted his thoughts.
“I realised that I should have done the same. But instead, I kept walking and never looked back.” A single tear fell across Hino’s delicate features to land soundlessly on the cool floor. Mizusawa’s heart sank.
“I wasn’t upset because you didn’t take my advice; I was upset that I almost let you make the same mistake I did.” Mizusawa didn’t miss the shudder in Hino’s breath when he attempted to compose himself. “Until now, I’d never had the confidence to really express myself to people. I was afraid, just like you were.”
Mizusawa lifted a hand to Hino’s shoulder, and with a light pull Hino’s small frame fell forward into his body. Tracing his arms around his slim shoulders he embraced him tightly, feeling Hino’s hands grasping the back of his jacket securely, twisting the fabric between his fingers.
Mizusawa could feel the gentle shaking of his shoulders, and the distinct dampness of tears gathering on the front of his uniform.
He rested his head on the slightly shorter boy’s, and after a few moments he could feel Hino’s body relaxing. His shaking had mostly subsided, replacing it with heavy breaths that Mizusawa could feel warm against the nape of his neck.
Mizusawa knew then that this was one of those times to live in the moment, and do what your heart is telling you and not what your mind tries to forbid.
He pulls back from Hino enough for their eyes to meet once more, Hino’s were red and puffy from emotions, and his cheeks were stained from sadness. A tear rested in the corner of his perfect lips. Mizusawa took his cheeks within the palms of his hands.
Mizusawa could tell Hino’s eyes were searching his own face for any kind of sign of what he was thinking. Mizusawa’s eyebrows creased in the centre shielding his concern as best he could. Gathering up what confidence he had inside, he leant forward so that their lips met.
Hino stiffened briefly, his hands still clenched at Mizusawa’s back did not move. This kiss didn’t linger, Mizusawa pulling back to notice Hino tried to follow him, with his eyes squeezed shut and his lips parted.
Mizusawa couldn’t stop the smile that overcame his face, when Hino blinked himself aware. Hino's face conveyed confusion as he seemed to search for something to possibly say, his mouth moving soundlessly.
Mizusawa shook his head as if to tell Hino that he didn’t need to explain everything, and he certainly didn’t need a reason to do it. Hino looked as if to come to the very same conclusion, just as his eyes darkened with something Mizusawa could not read.
That was until he was pushed up against the steel locker with Hino’s body pressed tightly against his. The lock digging into the small of his back only bothered him momentarily, because it wasn’t long before Hino captured his lips in a far more intense kiss, one that knocked the air from his lungs and forced his knees to buckle.
Mizusawa could have sworn for a second there he could feel Hino’s tongue halfway down his throat, but no, it was the passion fooling him. Hino’s hands here grasped tightly at his waist band, seeming to be caught between deciding whether too pull Mizusawa’s hips forward into his own or grind him into the locker door.
Their battle raged on, all teeth and tongues in a fight for dominance which Mizusawa could feel himself already relinquishing to. A part of him deciding that this would not do, took control to hoist Hino small frame off his feet and force the other’s legs to encircle his waist. Something that Hino seemed more than happy to do. Mizusawa’s hands kept him stable on his upper thighs, though it seemed unnecessary with the vice-like grip Hino’s legs had around his waist.
With Hino’s new, slightly higher vantage point, Mizusawa no longer has to tilt his neck down for their unbroken kiss. Instead Hino’s body is crouched over so his hands cradle Mizusawa’s neck gently.
To take the strain from his unstable legs, Mizusawa turned them both around so that he could force Hino’s body into the locker to partially support his weight and Mizusawa could concentrate on far more important things. Like the way one of Hino’s hands had sunk down the back of his shirt to dig his nails into the bare skin there. In reaction to the sensation, Mizusawa’s own fingers clenched harshly into Hino’s upper thighs.
The kiss had taken on a level of abandon Mizusawa didn’t even think was possible. And he could feel the blood in his body quickly welling in the pit of his stomach where his body temperature was quickly increasing. He found himself unconsciously thrusting Hino’s body harder and harder into the locker’s solid structure.
Stimulated from the tastes, sounds and sensations Hino was producing for him, Mizusawa was suddenly very ware that he was becoming noticeably aroused in a very public place. And as much as every fibre of his being wanted to continue with ravishing Hino’s mouth and body, he knew that this was not the time or place for that to happen.
Reluctantly breaking his lips from Hino’s, he rested their foreheads together to compose his breathing. Something Hino was having the same trouble accomplishing, his legs giving one last tight squeeze before his body almost completely relaxed in Mizusawa’s arms. Realizing that he too had depleted most of his energy, Mizusawa let himself drop slowly to the floor, Hino’s body sliding down the locker door with him to come to a sitting position on the ground. Mizusawa remained kneeling between Hino’s legs which still almost completely encircled him.
Their warm breath mingled while their faces remained so close and their hands clasped together by their sides.
“My parents are expecting me home…” Mizusawa voice was only just above a whisper.
Hino nodded, seemingly not composed enough to form words in replacement of laboured breathing.
Mizusawa smiled, leaning in for another kiss against Hino’s parted lips.
“… But tomorrow?”
Hino grinned.
End.
And I also changed the wallpaper I uploaded the other day, if anyone would like it. It's still nothing fantastic, but it was fun ^^ (scans from reina66)
Enjoy <3