Big Bang: Hopeless Places 10/15
Jared barely remembers getting out of bed and dressing. He doesn’t eat, scared if he tries he’s going to get sick. The make-up department tsks at the bags under his eyes, loading his face with some goop before pushing him out for eliminations. He hasn’t seem Cowboy all morning and refuses to look at him now. He’s forced to face Justin though, and the blonde man’s practically glowing. Jared wants to punch him right there.
Justina’s looking at him, concern written on her delicate features. He tries to give her a reassuring smile, but it comes out more like a grimace. She gives him a thumbs up, probably thinking he’s nervous about being eliminated. Right now that’s the last thing on his mind.
Justin calls Cowboy first. Jared forces himself to look at the ground as the other man walks up. He jumps when Angel lets out a bark of laughter.
“Is there a problem, Angel?” Justina says.
The small woman crosses her arms over her chest, “Hell yeah there is. That little slut sleeps with Justin and he gets to stay around?”
Even Superman looks surprised. Jared’s guessing the date didn’t go very well, or else Angel wouldn’t risk going home over this. He expects Cowboy to say something, but the other man just takes the necklace. The tips of his ears glowing red.
Justin bristles. “Angel, don’t talk about him like that. That’s not why he’s staying.”
“Of course it is! Everyone saw him sneaking out this morning.”
“What Cowboy and I do in none of your concern,” Justin says, defensiveness showing in his voice.
Angel’s down from her spot on the stairs now and security is starting to creep out from the shadow already. “It is when I’m the one going home instead of that whore.”
Jared clenches his fists, if she were a guy he’d be hitting her right now. But his Mama taught him to be nice to ladies, even if they are bitches.
He smiles instead, letting Angel see it. Predictably she takes the bait. “What the fuck are you smiling about?”
Jared shrugs exaggeratedly, “Just thinkin’ that your date must have been fucking horrible for you to be talkin’ out like this, Angel.” He puts the emphasis on the last word, sarcasm dripping from his lips.
Kitty covers a laugh behind her hand and Angel lunges at her. She manages to get a grip on her hair before security pulls her off, kicking and screaming. Kitty looks shell-shocked, her hair sticking up in tuffs and her dress askew from trying to dodge out of the way. They quickly go to commercial break while Angel is being dragged away.
After she’s gone the crew assembles them with their necklaces and turn the cameras back on. They can still hear her screaming when their pouring the champagne. Justina gives her token, “To another chance at love!”
The whole ceremony is done quietly and everyone drinks with less gusto than the top four should.
Jared tries to meet Cowboy’s eyes when he takes a sip from his cup, but the other man’s quickly flicker away. Jared remembers when Cowboy was larger than life, fighting and swearing his way through the house. He just hopes there’s some of that guy left when this is all over.
Cowboy goes straight back up to the Holy Grail when the twins return to their rooms, even if Justin tried his hardest to make him come back with him. At this point Jared’s ninety-nine percent sure Cowboy’s got it in the bag. Out of the remaining four of them he’s the only one Justin even pays attention to.
Kitty approaches him after Superman returns to his room, hair still slightly tangled. “I can’t believe she would go after me like that, all I did was laugh!”
Jared nods his agreement. “Probably because she knew she couldn’t take me.”
Kitty laughs, smiling up at him. “Is it true, Cowboy and Justin?”
Jared shrugs, avoiding her eyes. Kitty looks like she wants to say something, but her eyes dart up to a camera at the last second and her mouth snaps shut.
“Well uh, good for them. Justin’s head over heels for him.”
All of the exhaustion from the night catches up to him at once, and Jared stumbles a bit. “You never know,” he says weakly.
“Are you okay?” Kitty asks.
Jared shakes his head, walking towards the ladder. “Just need some sleep.”
Jared gets to the top of the ladder to find Cowboy completely covered in blankets. He still looks cold, shivering underneath the pile. Jared takes a quick detour to the bathroom to wash off the heavy make-up and crawls into bed. Cowboy doesn’t say anything, but Jared doesn’t expect him to.
Jared pulls him tight to his body, wishing he could risk kissing him in the daylight. He realizes soon that Cowboy isn’t shivering from the cold, he’s actually shaking. Jared makes vague shushing sounds, rubbing his back under the blankets.
It’s a long time until Cowboy falls asleep and Jared watches him for awhile after that. He smoothes the line in his brow with a finger and says, “I promised.”
They sleep the majority of the day away. Waking later in the afternoon to eat. Neither of them say anything, Jared’s not sure what he would say. He makes Cowboy spaghetti, his favorite. But the other man doesn’t touch it. Kitty walks in at some point and tries to start a conversation, but it falls flat, the unease in the room swallowing up the words.
Cowboy hits the showers after dinner and Jared doesn’t follow him. He sits in the confession booth instead, making up some shit about how glad he is that Justina kept him around. Cowboy comes and finds him later, pulling him towards the pool without a word.
They strip to their boxers and jump in, Cowboy’s grip on his hand painful under the water. He pulls Jared to the centre of the pool, as far from the cameras as they can get.
“I didn’t. I didn’t, Tex.”
His voice is hoarse. He probably hasn’t talked all day.
Jared laughs. “Don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
Cowboy pulls him closer, desperate. “Jared, please, I just want to go back to normal.”
Jared forces himself to look him in the eyes. “Didn’t what?” he asks eventually.
Cowboy ducks his head, relaxing his grip. “We just talked a little, went to sleep. That’s it.”
Jared knows he’s telling the truth, just maybe not the whole truth. It stings, but this isn’t the time to be talking about it. And he misses Cowboy, more than anything he wants things to be normal too.
He lets the smile threatening to grow on his face show. “Yeah, enough with this emo shit.”
Cowboy starts to smile too, even if his eyes still look tired and sad. Jared can fix that.
Jared dunks him under the water, and soon he’s laughing again. Texas accent coming out when he swears, spitting water in Jared’s face. When they’ve tired themselves out they lay on the deck, staring up at the starless sky. Jared looks at Cowboy, grin still plastered to his face. He repeats “they just talked” over and over in his mind. Jared shakes his head. He basically had a breakdown, all because Cowboy had a sleep over with Justin.
“What’s wrong with me?” he asks, when they’re toweling off outside the pool.
Cowboy gives him a heated look, “Nothin’ we can’t fix.”
Oh, yeah. Jared thinks, they’re back to normal.
Episode Ten