Bright Skies (Multi - Season Crossover/Power Rangers, prompt #94: Lost, T)
Holy crap, I wrote something this morning. o.O
What's even more amazing, this means that there are only *two chapters* left to write for Bright Skies. And this is the last of Wes' POV. This story is finally almost finished.
Now if I can just write the last two sometime before next year ...
Author/: Tsukino Akume
Fandom/: Power Rangers Time Force moving into S.P.D., multiple Rangers from each season
Characters/: Wes (Time Force), multiple Rangers from other teams (Literally too many to list)
Pairings/: Wes/Eric, R.J./O.C., Rocky/Adam, Zack/Aisha, T.J./O.C., Justin/Rose, Carter/Ryan, Shane/Dustin, Hunter/Cam, Andros/Ashley, Zhane/Karone, Carlos/Ronny, Jason/Taylor, Tommy/Kimberly, Tyzonn/Mack, Cassie/OC, Z/Syd, Jack/Charlie, Sky/Bridge, and probably some others I'm forgetting.
prompt/: #94: Lost
Rating/: T (For non - graphic mentions of people having babies and being violent with one another)
Disclaimer/: I don't own the Power Rangers, but if Disney's hiring any new writers I volunteer.
Summary/: When Wes' life starts to fall apart, an accident gives him a chance at a fresh start in New Tech City, with Space Patrol Delta. But even a new life has its ups and downs - and weird friends. Meanwhile, Eric tries to move on.
Warnings/: A mentally handicapped person living in a medical facility, angst, male and female slash, non-cemented couples (In otherwords, pairings that will be separated), children created by scientific means, character death
Author's Notes/: This isn't entirely what I originally planned for this chapter; I was going to have Wes talk to R.J. at first. But this morning I was thinking about how this really isn't R.J.'s story: it's Wes', Eric's, and Sky's. And then I found myself writing it.
Not sure how well it works, but I can't beg for a beta on Yahoo Messenger because I'm afraid to use more than one program at a time on my poor, dying laptop and at the moment Wordpad is it. -_-;; Feel free to offer critique as necessary, and please let me know what you think.
The gravesite was perfect as always, as was the one next to it. He sometimes wondered if his father tipped extra to the caretakers, but judging by the condition of the rest of the grounds, it wasn't likely. It just seemed to be a well-cared for place.
Ironic, since the people buried here probably didn't really care what it looked like. But visiting seemed to bring his dad comfort, which was what counted in the end he supposed.
He wasn't visiting for comfort, but more because he felt like he had to. It wasn't that he didn't miss them - he did, and the ache never completely faded. But he hadn't gotten the chance to say goodbye to one of them, or apologize for everything he'd done in the past to the other. He came here because he owed it to them both.
He swallowed, leaning down to rest flowers at each grave. Something leafy for Phillips - he'd always liked greenery around the mansion more than actual flowers. For his mom, wildflowers he'd stop to pick himself on the way here. She loved wildflowers more than anything he could have bought her.
He wondered if he should talk. R.J. had told him that talking was for those who felt the need to speak to those they wanted to listen. Eric told him that talking to the dead didn't accomplish anything, and Vanessa had agreed.
Then again, he never did listen to either of them.
"Hi," he said at last, sounding awkward. "I don't know ... if this is even going to make much of a difference. But R.J. always tells me to do what feels right, and well ... " He grinned faintly. "Ignoring whatever Eric and Nes say is stupid always makes me feel better, so."
He took a deep breath, letting out a long sigh. "I miss you both," he admitted. "I wish I'd gotten the chance to say goodbye, Phillips. You practically raised me, and I never really told you how much you meant to me. I don't know if you ever knew, but I'd like to think you did." His eyes fell to the other gravestone and he flinched. "Mom ... I ... I'm so sorry," he whispered. "You deserved ... you deserved so much more. You should have had a better son than I was. All that time I was ashamed of you ... " He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "I wish I could take it all back. I never should have ... " He broke off, shaking his head again as the guilt welled up, making him nauseous. "I wish I'd had the chance to beg you for forgiveness, just so you could know that I'm sorry." Then he sighed, and a bitter smile twisted his lips. "But then again, would you even understand what I was trying to apologize for?"
He fell silent again, reaching up to run a hand through his hair in agitation as he sighed. Why had he come here again? What was he trying to do?
"You ever get the feeling you're just ... grasping at straws?" he asked softly. "That every time you try to actually accomplish something, you're just ... " He shook his head. "That it's all pointless? That there's no reason for what you're doing?"
He closed his eyes with another sigh. Alex and Ben were in the future, where they supposedly belonged, along with the rest of Time Force. Jen and the others were there too, and while he missed them, it didn't feel wrong the way that the boys did. With Alex and Ben it was wrong, in a way he could feel deep in his bones. It was wrong not to have his boys nearby where they belonged. Where he could watch over them.
He still had Sky of course, and he wouldn't give his son up for anything. There was still the new baby on the way, with Vanessa growing bigger and crankier every day. He had Eric, and R.J., and Jen and Sheep. There were plenty of things to be happy about in his life.
So *why* couldn't he just let it go?
"I'm not unhappy," he whispered finally, not really sure who he was talking to anymore. "I'm not. I love my family, and my job, and my life. I have great friends and I do great things with them. I know that. I *believe* that. It's just ... " He trailed off, closing his eyes.
It was just knowing that his boys were somewhere he couldn't touch them. Somewhere he couldn't protect them. He could tell himself they were too old for him to baby them all he wanted, but it didn't change the fact that they were *his*: his to take care of and protect.
And he'd already failed them so many times.
Before they were even born, when he'd lied to Eric by not telling him the truth about who and what they were. When they were first stolen. The years they'd spent under Time Force's cruel influence. The Morpher Project. Ransik. Jen. Blakemore's trial.
Leaving them behind.
Logically, he knew it was the right thing to do. Alex and Ben belonged in the future now. They had friends there, a team, a city to protect. They had jobs and lives and geez, Alex was probably going to be a *father* one of these days, which was wrong in so many ways.
He bowed his head again, fighting back tears. His baby was going to be a daddy, and he wouldn't even be there to meet his grandchild. Help Alex through the hell that was nine months of living with a pregnant woman. Buy him a drink to celebrate the successful birth.
He took a deep breath through his nose, tilting his head back and forcing himself to just breathe for a few moments and try to collect himself. Thinking about this wasn't helping anything. It wouldn't change where Alex and Ben were, wouldn't change the fact that he couldn't stay with them. He had his own life to live.
All parents had to deal with losing their children someday. He'd just had to accept it a little sooner than most, that's all.
"I feel lost," he said softly, blinking hard as the gravestones in front of him started to blur again. "I've had my entire life wrapped up in Time Force and what I became because of them for almost thirty years now. And now ... " He trailed off, sighing. "And now that's the future, and I'm still the past. All I have is S.P.D. and my family. I know I should be happy with that, and I am, but I still feel like I failed. I'm not the person Time Force tried to get me to be. I don't know if I'll ever be the person they thought I was. I don't even know how to try."
He tilted his head back to stare at the sky above him, swallowing. He was rambling at a cemetery. "I'm pretty pathetic, aren't I?" he asked softly. "I've spent so long swearing that I hate Time Force, that I'm a Time Force Ranger, talking about the future and Alex and Ben ... And now all that is supposed to be over, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore." He bowed his head back to the grass, shaking it with another sigh. "I don't know who I am anymore."
"You're Sergeant Commander Wesley Collins."
He jerked in surprise, turning to look.
"You're Time Force Red. You're the leader of the Newtech Rangers. You're B Squad's sergeant. One of Ranger Squad's advisors. You're the Special Tactics and Defense instructor for anyone who wants to learn. You're Eric Myer's husband." Sky stopped in front of him, his eyes solemn and intent. "You're my dad," he finished.
Wes swallowed. How had he not noticed Sky standing there? How much had he let him overhear? "Sky - "
"You're not the person Time Force said you were," Sky continued, still staring at him as if he hadn't even spoken. "But you never were. The person they think you are isn't *you*, Dad. You're so much more than some war-hero Power Ranger in their archives. And they'll never get that because they don't know you."
He tried to smile, but it was weak. "Just because Time Force has a different opinion of me than who I really am doesn't make them wrong, Sky. They may have been a corrupt organization, but without them, a lot of things would never have happened." He lifted his wrist. "*This* would never have happened."
"So?" Sky returned. "Dad, just because Time Force gave you a morpher doesn't mean they changed who you are."
He snorted in amusement before he could help himself. "Sky, I wasn't exactly the greatest person before I became a Ranger."
Because he'd been lost.
The memory of that time came to him suddenly, almost like déjà vu. He'd recently dropped out of college because he'd decided being a doctor wasn't for him. Eric, his first and only real friend, had left him months before that. His dad was torn between disappointment and being disgusted with him for giving up on 'their' dream. He'd given up the one thing he'd been building his entire life around because he'd thought he had to, and without it he had no idea what to do with himself anymore.
And that was when Jen had walked into his life and begged him to put on the Red Chrono Morpher.
"You were meant to be Rangers. We've always known that. One way or another, you still would have found your way here. Maybe it would have been sooner, maybe it would have been later. But you'd still be here."
His eyes widened.
Sky's gaze didn't waver. You *deserve* to be a Ranger. You've proven yourself from the very first moment. The fact that you joined at all was proof. You've earned everything you have here all on your own. No one handed it to you. Yes, it was a possibility that you'd be chosen. But we gave you the morpher because you're the best of the best. Because you have what it takes. Earth is still safe, and you're still here. That's what matters."
His throat felt tight, and he blinked hard. "Sky - "
"And I'm proud of you for everything you've managed to do so far." There was a pause, and the corner of Sky's mouth lifted slightly. "I told you I listen."
He closed his eyes, trying to reign in the sudden urge to cry. When did you grow up on me? he wanted to ask. Stop it. I'm not ready for you to do that.
"I mean it, you know." Sky's voice was soft. "You've always been my hero, Dad. And it's not because you're a Ranger."
He chuckled wetly. "That helmet in your room might say otherwise."
There was a pause. "That's not why I keep it." Sky sounded slightly hurt.
He opened his eyes to look at his son. "It's not?"
Sky frowned, shaking his head. "I keep it because it reminds me of the kind of person my dad is. How much you're willing to sacrifice for other people. It's not the helmet, Dad - it's because it's *yours*."
Wes looked away, blinking hard and pressing a fist against his mouth. "Sky ... that's .... "
He heard Sky sigh, but it wasn't the frustrated one he'd expected. "R.J. told me once that sometimes you have to lose something to gain something. Maybe we lost who Time Force was and we don't have Alex and Ben with us right now, but that doesn't mean we never will. Aren't you the one who always said it's who we carry with us that makes us who we are?"
There was a long silence.
-- "We *have* to be born, Wes," Alex insisted, staring at him intently. "If Ben and I aren't created, there won't be a Red Chrono Morpher or a Quantum Morpher. Without my morpher, there wouldn't be four more modeled after it. Which means that you'd never meet the other Rangers." --
-- Sky looked up at him, a tear slipping down his cheek. "It's never gonna be okay again," he whispered. --
-- "You can call me Nova, since I'm technically not supposed to tell you my name," she informed them. The smirk turned into a grin. "The commander would kill me." --
-- "I never said I didn't want you around," Alex snapped. --
-- "Taking that morpher was the best decision I ever made. I've done a lot of things I regret, and a lot of things I wish I could do differently. But choosing to become a Ranger - no matter how much of an idiot or a jerk I was at the time - is something that I will *never* regret." --
-- "What do you call your parents when you've got two dads?" Ben wondered aloud. "Like, Dad and Dad?" --
-- "Are you going to keep doing this every time we see them?"
"You make it sound like we'll see them again."
"Whenever someone says it's the last time, they turn out to be wrong. I'm not holding my breath." --
Slowly, Wes smiled. "You're growing up on me," he remarked.
He could practically picture Sky rolling his eyes. "I'm eighteen, Dad. I grew up awhile ago."
"Right when I wasn't looking, huh?"
An arm came around him, and Sky leaned into his shoulder. He reached up instinctively to hug him in return. "No," his son answered, sounding amused. "You were the one who told me how to do it."
What's even more amazing, this means that there are only *two chapters* left to write for Bright Skies. And this is the last of Wes' POV. This story is finally almost finished.
Now if I can just write the last two sometime before next year ...
Author/: Tsukino Akume
Fandom/: Power Rangers Time Force moving into S.P.D., multiple Rangers from each season
Characters/: Wes (Time Force), multiple Rangers from other teams (Literally too many to list)
Pairings/: Wes/Eric, R.J./O.C., Rocky/Adam, Zack/Aisha, T.J./O.C., Justin/Rose, Carter/Ryan, Shane/Dustin, Hunter/Cam, Andros/Ashley, Zhane/Karone, Carlos/Ronny, Jason/Taylor, Tommy/Kimberly, Tyzonn/Mack, Cassie/OC, Z/Syd, Jack/Charlie, Sky/Bridge, and probably some others I'm forgetting.
prompt/: #94: Lost
Rating/: T (For non - graphic mentions of people having babies and being violent with one another)
Disclaimer/: I don't own the Power Rangers, but if Disney's hiring any new writers I volunteer.
Summary/: When Wes' life starts to fall apart, an accident gives him a chance at a fresh start in New Tech City, with Space Patrol Delta. But even a new life has its ups and downs - and weird friends. Meanwhile, Eric tries to move on.
Warnings/: A mentally handicapped person living in a medical facility, angst, male and female slash, non-cemented couples (In otherwords, pairings that will be separated), children created by scientific means, character death
Author's Notes/: This isn't entirely what I originally planned for this chapter; I was going to have Wes talk to R.J. at first. But this morning I was thinking about how this really isn't R.J.'s story: it's Wes', Eric's, and Sky's. And then I found myself writing it.
Not sure how well it works, but I can't beg for a beta on Yahoo Messenger because I'm afraid to use more than one program at a time on my poor, dying laptop and at the moment Wordpad is it. -_-;; Feel free to offer critique as necessary, and please let me know what you think.
The gravesite was perfect as always, as was the one next to it. He sometimes wondered if his father tipped extra to the caretakers, but judging by the condition of the rest of the grounds, it wasn't likely. It just seemed to be a well-cared for place.
Ironic, since the people buried here probably didn't really care what it looked like. But visiting seemed to bring his dad comfort, which was what counted in the end he supposed.
He wasn't visiting for comfort, but more because he felt like he had to. It wasn't that he didn't miss them - he did, and the ache never completely faded. But he hadn't gotten the chance to say goodbye to one of them, or apologize for everything he'd done in the past to the other. He came here because he owed it to them both.
He swallowed, leaning down to rest flowers at each grave. Something leafy for Phillips - he'd always liked greenery around the mansion more than actual flowers. For his mom, wildflowers he'd stop to pick himself on the way here. She loved wildflowers more than anything he could have bought her.
He wondered if he should talk. R.J. had told him that talking was for those who felt the need to speak to those they wanted to listen. Eric told him that talking to the dead didn't accomplish anything, and Vanessa had agreed.
Then again, he never did listen to either of them.
"Hi," he said at last, sounding awkward. "I don't know ... if this is even going to make much of a difference. But R.J. always tells me to do what feels right, and well ... " He grinned faintly. "Ignoring whatever Eric and Nes say is stupid always makes me feel better, so."
He took a deep breath, letting out a long sigh. "I miss you both," he admitted. "I wish I'd gotten the chance to say goodbye, Phillips. You practically raised me, and I never really told you how much you meant to me. I don't know if you ever knew, but I'd like to think you did." His eyes fell to the other gravestone and he flinched. "Mom ... I ... I'm so sorry," he whispered. "You deserved ... you deserved so much more. You should have had a better son than I was. All that time I was ashamed of you ... " He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "I wish I could take it all back. I never should have ... " He broke off, shaking his head again as the guilt welled up, making him nauseous. "I wish I'd had the chance to beg you for forgiveness, just so you could know that I'm sorry." Then he sighed, and a bitter smile twisted his lips. "But then again, would you even understand what I was trying to apologize for?"
He fell silent again, reaching up to run a hand through his hair in agitation as he sighed. Why had he come here again? What was he trying to do?
"You ever get the feeling you're just ... grasping at straws?" he asked softly. "That every time you try to actually accomplish something, you're just ... " He shook his head. "That it's all pointless? That there's no reason for what you're doing?"
He closed his eyes with another sigh. Alex and Ben were in the future, where they supposedly belonged, along with the rest of Time Force. Jen and the others were there too, and while he missed them, it didn't feel wrong the way that the boys did. With Alex and Ben it was wrong, in a way he could feel deep in his bones. It was wrong not to have his boys nearby where they belonged. Where he could watch over them.
He still had Sky of course, and he wouldn't give his son up for anything. There was still the new baby on the way, with Vanessa growing bigger and crankier every day. He had Eric, and R.J., and Jen and Sheep. There were plenty of things to be happy about in his life.
So *why* couldn't he just let it go?
"I'm not unhappy," he whispered finally, not really sure who he was talking to anymore. "I'm not. I love my family, and my job, and my life. I have great friends and I do great things with them. I know that. I *believe* that. It's just ... " He trailed off, closing his eyes.
It was just knowing that his boys were somewhere he couldn't touch them. Somewhere he couldn't protect them. He could tell himself they were too old for him to baby them all he wanted, but it didn't change the fact that they were *his*: his to take care of and protect.
And he'd already failed them so many times.
Before they were even born, when he'd lied to Eric by not telling him the truth about who and what they were. When they were first stolen. The years they'd spent under Time Force's cruel influence. The Morpher Project. Ransik. Jen. Blakemore's trial.
Leaving them behind.
Logically, he knew it was the right thing to do. Alex and Ben belonged in the future now. They had friends there, a team, a city to protect. They had jobs and lives and geez, Alex was probably going to be a *father* one of these days, which was wrong in so many ways.
He bowed his head again, fighting back tears. His baby was going to be a daddy, and he wouldn't even be there to meet his grandchild. Help Alex through the hell that was nine months of living with a pregnant woman. Buy him a drink to celebrate the successful birth.
He took a deep breath through his nose, tilting his head back and forcing himself to just breathe for a few moments and try to collect himself. Thinking about this wasn't helping anything. It wouldn't change where Alex and Ben were, wouldn't change the fact that he couldn't stay with them. He had his own life to live.
All parents had to deal with losing their children someday. He'd just had to accept it a little sooner than most, that's all.
"I feel lost," he said softly, blinking hard as the gravestones in front of him started to blur again. "I've had my entire life wrapped up in Time Force and what I became because of them for almost thirty years now. And now ... " He trailed off, sighing. "And now that's the future, and I'm still the past. All I have is S.P.D. and my family. I know I should be happy with that, and I am, but I still feel like I failed. I'm not the person Time Force tried to get me to be. I don't know if I'll ever be the person they thought I was. I don't even know how to try."
He tilted his head back to stare at the sky above him, swallowing. He was rambling at a cemetery. "I'm pretty pathetic, aren't I?" he asked softly. "I've spent so long swearing that I hate Time Force, that I'm a Time Force Ranger, talking about the future and Alex and Ben ... And now all that is supposed to be over, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore." He bowed his head back to the grass, shaking it with another sigh. "I don't know who I am anymore."
"You're Sergeant Commander Wesley Collins."
He jerked in surprise, turning to look.
"You're Time Force Red. You're the leader of the Newtech Rangers. You're B Squad's sergeant. One of Ranger Squad's advisors. You're the Special Tactics and Defense instructor for anyone who wants to learn. You're Eric Myer's husband." Sky stopped in front of him, his eyes solemn and intent. "You're my dad," he finished.
Wes swallowed. How had he not noticed Sky standing there? How much had he let him overhear? "Sky - "
"You're not the person Time Force said you were," Sky continued, still staring at him as if he hadn't even spoken. "But you never were. The person they think you are isn't *you*, Dad. You're so much more than some war-hero Power Ranger in their archives. And they'll never get that because they don't know you."
He tried to smile, but it was weak. "Just because Time Force has a different opinion of me than who I really am doesn't make them wrong, Sky. They may have been a corrupt organization, but without them, a lot of things would never have happened." He lifted his wrist. "*This* would never have happened."
"So?" Sky returned. "Dad, just because Time Force gave you a morpher doesn't mean they changed who you are."
He snorted in amusement before he could help himself. "Sky, I wasn't exactly the greatest person before I became a Ranger."
Because he'd been lost.
The memory of that time came to him suddenly, almost like déjà vu. He'd recently dropped out of college because he'd decided being a doctor wasn't for him. Eric, his first and only real friend, had left him months before that. His dad was torn between disappointment and being disgusted with him for giving up on 'their' dream. He'd given up the one thing he'd been building his entire life around because he'd thought he had to, and without it he had no idea what to do with himself anymore.
And that was when Jen had walked into his life and begged him to put on the Red Chrono Morpher.
"You were meant to be Rangers. We've always known that. One way or another, you still would have found your way here. Maybe it would have been sooner, maybe it would have been later. But you'd still be here."
His eyes widened.
Sky's gaze didn't waver. You *deserve* to be a Ranger. You've proven yourself from the very first moment. The fact that you joined at all was proof. You've earned everything you have here all on your own. No one handed it to you. Yes, it was a possibility that you'd be chosen. But we gave you the morpher because you're the best of the best. Because you have what it takes. Earth is still safe, and you're still here. That's what matters."
His throat felt tight, and he blinked hard. "Sky - "
"And I'm proud of you for everything you've managed to do so far." There was a pause, and the corner of Sky's mouth lifted slightly. "I told you I listen."
He closed his eyes, trying to reign in the sudden urge to cry. When did you grow up on me? he wanted to ask. Stop it. I'm not ready for you to do that.
"I mean it, you know." Sky's voice was soft. "You've always been my hero, Dad. And it's not because you're a Ranger."
He chuckled wetly. "That helmet in your room might say otherwise."
There was a pause. "That's not why I keep it." Sky sounded slightly hurt.
He opened his eyes to look at his son. "It's not?"
Sky frowned, shaking his head. "I keep it because it reminds me of the kind of person my dad is. How much you're willing to sacrifice for other people. It's not the helmet, Dad - it's because it's *yours*."
Wes looked away, blinking hard and pressing a fist against his mouth. "Sky ... that's .... "
He heard Sky sigh, but it wasn't the frustrated one he'd expected. "R.J. told me once that sometimes you have to lose something to gain something. Maybe we lost who Time Force was and we don't have Alex and Ben with us right now, but that doesn't mean we never will. Aren't you the one who always said it's who we carry with us that makes us who we are?"
There was a long silence.
-- "We *have* to be born, Wes," Alex insisted, staring at him intently. "If Ben and I aren't created, there won't be a Red Chrono Morpher or a Quantum Morpher. Without my morpher, there wouldn't be four more modeled after it. Which means that you'd never meet the other Rangers." --
-- Sky looked up at him, a tear slipping down his cheek. "It's never gonna be okay again," he whispered. --
-- "You can call me Nova, since I'm technically not supposed to tell you my name," she informed them. The smirk turned into a grin. "The commander would kill me." --
-- "I never said I didn't want you around," Alex snapped. --
-- "Taking that morpher was the best decision I ever made. I've done a lot of things I regret, and a lot of things I wish I could do differently. But choosing to become a Ranger - no matter how much of an idiot or a jerk I was at the time - is something that I will *never* regret." --
-- "What do you call your parents when you've got two dads?" Ben wondered aloud. "Like, Dad and Dad?" --
-- "Are you going to keep doing this every time we see them?"
"You make it sound like we'll see them again."
"Whenever someone says it's the last time, they turn out to be wrong. I'm not holding my breath." --
Slowly, Wes smiled. "You're growing up on me," he remarked.
He could practically picture Sky rolling his eyes. "I'm eighteen, Dad. I grew up awhile ago."
"Right when I wasn't looking, huh?"
An arm came around him, and Sky leaned into his shoulder. He reached up instinctively to hug him in return. "No," his son answered, sounding amused. "You were the one who told me how to do it."