next time we'll call animal control
picture prompt fic for thistle_dear, from this pic. ^"^ for context, daniel and neil and nash and megan are all living in san francisco, and i think this is before francis is born. i make no apologies for the fact that it's all dialogue. neil speaks first, daniel is mostly vaguely annoyed.
"Hey, Daniel, where's the closest broom?"
"The closest broom? I don't know. Why?"
"There's a bat in the attic."
"There's. What?"
"A bat."
"A bat."
"Why are you repeating everything I say? A bat. I'm trying to encourage it to leave."
"Call animal control."
"This is more fun."
"You sound like Nash."
"Help me find a broom and I'll stop."
"What were you doing in the attic, anyway?"
"Measuring."
"Do I want to know?"
"No. Found a broom. Let's do this."
"I can't believe I'm going to help you scare a bat out of the attic. I can't believe we have a bat in the first place."
"Nash always said you had bats in the belfry."
"No, I think he said that about you."
"Could be. Close the door behind you."
"Do you have a plan?"
"Do I need one? Open the window, direct the bat out of it."
"Where's it hiding?"
"It was over - open the window, open the window!"
"Open - hey! Neil! Watch the - !"
"Incoming!"
"The window's stuck!"
"Unlatch it!"
"Ok! Don't hit me with the broom!"
"Well move out of the way!"
"Where'd he go now?"
"Up there. He looks pissed."
"I would too if you came at me with a broom."
"Just move over there so I don't smack you accidentally."
"I think a butterfly net would work better. Maybe a tennis racket."
"Do we even have a butterfly net? Come on, bat, you know you want to be outside with all your bat friends."
"I don't - aah!"
"I told you to move!"
"I am!"
"You can stop cowering, Daniel, he's gone."
"I wasn't cowering."
"You were so."
"Stop grinning like that. I've never been dive-bombed by a bat before."
"And now you don't have to worry about it happening again. Wasn't that more fun than calling animal control?"
"No."
"Spoilsport. My parents get bats in their house all the time."
"Your parents are bats."
"Well, yeah, kind of. I should've taken a picture - no one's going to believe we had a bat in the attic."
"I can just take a picture of the guano he dropped on your head."
"Really? Gross."
"Bat revenge. Next time? Call animal control."
"Hey, Daniel, where's the closest broom?"
"The closest broom? I don't know. Why?"
"There's a bat in the attic."
"There's. What?"
"A bat."
"A bat."
"Why are you repeating everything I say? A bat. I'm trying to encourage it to leave."
"Call animal control."
"This is more fun."
"You sound like Nash."
"Help me find a broom and I'll stop."
"What were you doing in the attic, anyway?"
"Measuring."
"Do I want to know?"
"No. Found a broom. Let's do this."
"I can't believe I'm going to help you scare a bat out of the attic. I can't believe we have a bat in the first place."
"Nash always said you had bats in the belfry."
"No, I think he said that about you."
"Could be. Close the door behind you."
"Do you have a plan?"
"Do I need one? Open the window, direct the bat out of it."
"Where's it hiding?"
"It was over - open the window, open the window!"
"Open - hey! Neil! Watch the - !"
"Incoming!"
"The window's stuck!"
"Unlatch it!"
"Ok! Don't hit me with the broom!"
"Well move out of the way!"
"Where'd he go now?"
"Up there. He looks pissed."
"I would too if you came at me with a broom."
"Just move over there so I don't smack you accidentally."
"I think a butterfly net would work better. Maybe a tennis racket."
"Do we even have a butterfly net? Come on, bat, you know you want to be outside with all your bat friends."
"I don't - aah!"
"I told you to move!"
"I am!"
"You can stop cowering, Daniel, he's gone."
"I wasn't cowering."
"You were so."
"Stop grinning like that. I've never been dive-bombed by a bat before."
"And now you don't have to worry about it happening again. Wasn't that more fun than calling animal control?"
"No."
"Spoilsport. My parents get bats in their house all the time."
"Your parents are bats."
"Well, yeah, kind of. I should've taken a picture - no one's going to believe we had a bat in the attic."
"I can just take a picture of the guano he dropped on your head."
"Really? Gross."
"Bat revenge. Next time? Call animal control."