Such beautiful dignity in self-abuse

[trying2recover]

“Hunger hurts, but starving works.” - Fiona Apple

“I’m staring in the mirror, looking back at the person I hate…Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?” - Waltz Moore

“You wake up in the morning to find out you are not who you used to be.” - Conor Oberst

I feel so fucked up…mentally…psychologically…physically…In every possible way

Comments

[raitaysil]

Just stay home and be safe...that way you can get as drunk as you want. :P

BTW, have you thought of seeing a doctor? Or making an appointment to see yours? I know it's not fun but I see as this when I go see mine. "I don't want to talk about my feelings but I'm going to because I need to get better."

[trying2recover]

Well I'm supposed to see my psychiatrist, but that's not for another few months :(

[princesswhore]

I want to listen to Fiona Apple now. I haven't done so in a long time. Thanks for reminding me. :) There's so much music out there sometimes I forget about stuff.

How did the night turn out?

The only times I've harmed myself in the past year have been when I was drunk. It definitely makes it "easier" to do.

I think seeing your doc or pdoc or a therapist sounds like a good idea. It doesn't mean you have to change everything you're doing right now, but it could help ease some of the stressed feelings and intense drive to harm (be it starving, cutting, etc).

Hope you're feeling better today.

[trying2recover]

I actually did NOT cut, but I did continuously punch my arm and now I have a huge bruise :(