dream 001.) the colors of the evening stars
She's floating somewhere-exactly where, she doesn't know-but she's curled in a fetal position and she knows that soon she must open her eyes. Around her she can feel arrogance, the pride of being different, of having a grand and important purpose to their existence. It's a concept she's supposed to know and needs to accept because she has been created for this, after all, and yet somehow, somehow it doesn't bring her comfort at all. Even if she forces it away, even if she tells herself that this is how it's supposed to be, that this is who she is, even then... it's still sad.
But when she does open her eyes, she instead sees an image before her, the brightest she has ever seen: The radiant light blinds her and hides this person's face, but somehow she knows that presence. It is him, and in her eyes he has always been different; she thinks he always will be. He is the person she likes to talk to, to be with, to learn about and learn from. She's known it and grown to love it with each passing day-and suddenly she doesn't feel so lonely anymore. His lips move and something he says (she only wishes she could hear his voice) causes her to feel so overwhelmingly happy that tears stream down her face (he's going to get a light scolding later, she briefly thinks), and she decides, right then and there, to turn her back on everything, and she lifts herself up and reaches for his hand.
And suddenly: Darkness. A darkness that makes her more afraid than she has ever been before, because she knows that something is wrong but she can't see or sense or feel anything, as if someone's taken over her and the thought that he's still there, in terrible danger, paralyzes and terrifies her more than anything could ever have. There's desperation, fear, and love all at once-If anyone, anyone is there at all, it doesn't matter what happens to her but please, please:
Save him.
And it arrives just in time: The ray of energy that splits through the emptiness and dissolves the darkness within her and around her, causing it to burst into billions and billions of colorful stars. And it's there again, the presence she loves so dearly that wraps around her and comforts her. The sadness he emanates is the same as her own, but she feels in herself something else rising in the midst of it all: an odd sense of contentment-strange, because despite the silent acceptance that this is where it all ends, she feels like this is the happiest she has ever been.
And so she smiles, reaches out her hand and touches the face of the person she can't quite see, but whom she loves as much as he does her. She wants to stay this way forever but she knows it's impossible (and even now his light is slowly fading away), so she tells him what they both already know:
"We understood each other, right?"
His light finally disappears and she is left alone once again, but now she's floating between stars, and this time she isn't scared at all. Though she's sad, she contents herself with the knowledge that he still exists, that he's alive somewhere, and that he continues to breathe and eat and wake up to a future he deserves to live in, even if it's not where she is. And when everything is truly over and he is ready to move on to a different place, she will make sure that there will always be someone he can run to.
And that is why she will wait for him. Because maybe at the end of it all he would still want to find her, and if he does then she wouldn't want him to lose his way. And so, until the day they meet again, until he returns to her, this is where she will stay: right here, in the glowing particles of dust between the stars in the sky.
But when she does open her eyes, she instead sees an image before her, the brightest she has ever seen: The radiant light blinds her and hides this person's face, but somehow she knows that presence. It is him, and in her eyes he has always been different; she thinks he always will be. He is the person she likes to talk to, to be with, to learn about and learn from. She's known it and grown to love it with each passing day-and suddenly she doesn't feel so lonely anymore. His lips move and something he says (she only wishes she could hear his voice) causes her to feel so overwhelmingly happy that tears stream down her face (he's going to get a light scolding later, she briefly thinks), and she decides, right then and there, to turn her back on everything, and she lifts herself up and reaches for his hand.
And suddenly: Darkness. A darkness that makes her more afraid than she has ever been before, because she knows that something is wrong but she can't see or sense or feel anything, as if someone's taken over her and the thought that he's still there, in terrible danger, paralyzes and terrifies her more than anything could ever have. There's desperation, fear, and love all at once-If anyone, anyone is there at all, it doesn't matter what happens to her but please, please:
Save him.
And it arrives just in time: The ray of energy that splits through the emptiness and dissolves the darkness within her and around her, causing it to burst into billions and billions of colorful stars. And it's there again, the presence she loves so dearly that wraps around her and comforts her. The sadness he emanates is the same as her own, but she feels in herself something else rising in the midst of it all: an odd sense of contentment-strange, because despite the silent acceptance that this is where it all ends, she feels like this is the happiest she has ever been.
And so she smiles, reaches out her hand and touches the face of the person she can't quite see, but whom she loves as much as he does her. She wants to stay this way forever but she knows it's impossible (and even now his light is slowly fading away), so she tells him what they both already know:
"We understood each other, right?"
His light finally disappears and she is left alone once again, but now she's floating between stars, and this time she isn't scared at all. Though she's sad, she contents herself with the knowledge that he still exists, that he's alive somewhere, and that he continues to breathe and eat and wake up to a future he deserves to live in, even if it's not where she is. And when everything is truly over and he is ready to move on to a different place, she will make sure that there will always be someone he can run to.
And that is why she will wait for him. Because maybe at the end of it all he would still want to find her, and if he does then she wouldn't want him to lose his way. And so, until the day they meet again, until he returns to her, this is where she will stay: right here, in the glowing particles of dust between the stars in the sky.