fic: it all comes down to me and you (finn/rachel), pg-13
Title: it all comes down to me and you
Pairing: Finn/Rachel, past Finn/Santana
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: post-Special Education
Word Count: ~2,500
Summary: OK - Santana's hot. Like ... really hot. But she doesn't wear fuzzy animal sweaters and he never has to brush the bangs out of her eyes and she's never going to sit down and help him with his Spanish homework and not make him feel like an idiot.
He doesn't understand why Rachel's so hung up on the fact that it was Santana, and, yeah, OK - Santana's hot. Like ... really hot. But she doesn't wear fuzzy animal sweaters and he never has to brush the bangs out of her eyes and she's never going to sit down and help him with his Spanish homework and not make him feel like an idiot (book is masculine and table is feminine, he remembers. Maybe. It might be the other way around. Oh, crap).
*
She makes him her I'm Sorry cookies, surprises him with them on a Tuesday morning, and she holds the plate out towards him with one hand, tucks her hair behind her ear with the other.
"I ... I got my dads to help, so they're not - they're not vegan cookies. I know ... I know you don't like them much."
The icing's green, because that's his favourite, and the letters are all carefully piped on and her voice is wobbly and nervous and this is - he can't - no. He shakes his head at her, a little helplessly, as he backs away, leaves her standing alone in the hallway.
*
Rachel made him watch old movies like Cabaret, but she went bowling with him, and came to all of his games, which was kind of embarrassing at the time, but now he kind of misses it.
Rachel's just - really cool. And talented. And she didn't care that Quinn and Santana made fun of her for wearing that Finn necklace (which, while he remembers, was also really cool. Like, she was just that proud to be dating him. Even when he wasn't quarterback).
Rachel ... Rachel thought he was really awesome, too. And not, like, because he's on the football team and kind of really popular. She thought he was selfless and good and a bunch of other things he didn't understand at the time (he should've asked her what they meant. She totally would've told him).
*
He sits up the back in glee club, sits up the back and doesn't miss the way she whispered to him about Tonys and Grammys and stage shows versus film adaptations or the way her breath tickled his ear or the way she kicked her feet when she was bored or the way she giggled when he danced.
Well.
Maybe a little.
*
Santana's hot and popular and everything Rachel's not, and she's probably never cried in the girls' bathroom because she didn't have anyone to eat lunch with and no-one gets mad when Santana's mean, which is kind of all the time, and Santana ... Santana has sex.
(And she probably doesn't wear a pink satin capelet when she does).
*
She watches them train from the bleachers, sometimes, and he doesn't need Puck nodding towards her all, "Dude," because he knows she's there, OK? He knows. He just doesn't want to talk to her.
Not yet.
*
She runs out of glee in tears for the second time this week, and Santana's filing her nails and everyone's making a point of not looking at him, and fuck, how is this his fault?
"We weren't together," he says, loudly, as Mr. Schue slowly follows Rachel.
"Yeah, but..." Mercedes tries, "her last boyfriend kind of really screwed her over."
"That Jesse kid was a real punk," Puck agrees.
"That's-" he breaks off, annoyed, because he's not sure what he's trying to say.
"She - she thought she could trust you," Tina offers, and that's great and all, but how come it doesn't matter that he thought he could trust her?
*
She's waiting for him after football practice, and he slows when he sees her, his helmet dangling from his left hand, and, seriously, does she ever give up?
"Everyone knew it was Puck's baby," she says, softly, and he's not quite following.
"What-"
"You were the last one to find out," and oh, he gets it now. But that's so not fair.
"That's different!" he protests, and she shrugs a little, like, Really? "It - just is."
"When you were dating ... Quinn," she says, and he's trying to keep up, "you kissed me. Twice."
"Rachel-"
"That's different," she interrupts, a little mockingly, "I know. You said."
"I have to-" he gestures towards the locker room and she doesn't try to stop him.
(It's quiet, but he hears the, "I'm sorry," she whispers to his back).
*
Santana's voice is really sharp sometimes. And she probably doesn't know all of the words to Funny Girl.
So. There are still two things Rachel's better at than Santana freaking Lopez.
*
He turns away when he sees her in the hallway, and it's not wrong that he doesn't want to see her, but she catches up to him quickly, yanks on his arm until he stops and turns around to face her.
"You're a coward," she says, and crap, she's tearing up and he hates it when she cries. Puck, he reminds himself. She made out with Puck. "You're so scared that someone might not like you-"
"Why is that a bad thing? You want people to like you-"
"I," she says, "don't let people change me," and he's just staring at her for a moment, because that's always been the biggest difference between them, and it's kind of why he liked her so much in the first place.
He grabs her by the wrist and tugs her over to the bottom of the stairs. "You really hurt me, Rachel. You were mean-"
"I thought you liked mean girls," and it's snippy and hurt and Quinn and Santana and every insecurity she ever had about them being together.
"Yeah, but I loved you," and it's the truth, so he says it, but when her face starts to crumple again, he thinks maybe he's just made this a thousand times worse.
*
Mr. Schue has him and Rachel singing Journey, again - Faith in the Heartland - which he's OK with, because Journey's kind of classic, right? The singing-with-Rachel-again bit is - weird, though. When he sings "He loves a girl who speaks her mind," she looks at the floor, her hair falling across her face, and when they get to the chorus, they're doing that waist-grabbing-spin thing that actually looks pretty cool, and it's like nothing ever happened.
Except, you know. She can't meet his gaze.
*
He props his arm up on the locker next to Quinn's. "You're a girl," he announces, and her eyebrows arch. "So help me out. Why is this stuff with Rachel all my fault?"
"Are you asking me to get inside Rachel Berry's head?" she asks, flatly.
"Hey," he says, a little warningly.
Quinn rolls her eyes and closes her locker. "You're an idiot," she tells him, but not like last year, not like she means it. She clutches her books to her chest and leans against the lockers. "Do you know why I joined glee club, Finn?" she asks.
His brow furrows. "Because you like singing."
Her laugh is breathy, brief. "No." She tilts her head slightly. "I ... I didn't want to lose you." Off Finn's pause, she adds, almost patiently, "To her."
"... oh," is all he says, and there's a funny feeling in his chest, like, yeah, Quinn hurt him really badly, and he hasn't forgotten that, but maybe he could've been a better boyfriend sometimes.
"She, like, really loves you," Quinn continues. "She always has."
"Oh," he says again - then, with a tentative smile, "Thanks."
She smiles back, shakes her head slightly, and as they're heading to US History, she bumps into him a couple of times with her shoulder, all friendly and cute, like maybe they're going to be OK.
*
He climbs the stairs to the bleachers, sits in the row behind Rachel. She's hugging herself against the cold, so he slowly drapes his jacket over her shoulders.
"Thanks," she turns her head slightly to the side, and it's little more than a whisper.
"Why did it matter so much that it was Santana?" he asks, eventually.
"Finn, she-" she rolls her eyes and cuts herself off. "She's horrible to me," and her voice is low, now. "She's always been horrible to me. And you ... you never stood up for me."
(It's only then that he realizes that this wasn't all about Santana, that this was about them, too, and, God, sometimes he can be really, really dumb).
*
She's the only one in the choir room when he gets there, and he wordlessly takes his seat in the back row.
"Will you ever stop hating me?" she asks quietly, and she's sitting on her hands and staring at the piano.
He stops to think before answering. Looks at the back of her head for a moment. Doesn't get that feeling in his stomach, the one that's all hurt and embarrassed and angry. "Yeah," he says, finally, and she nods, once, like maybe that's good enough.
*
He finds her in the auditorium at lunch, of course, and he's pretty sure she's singing Unbreak My Heart, and she's the most dramatic person he's ever met.
He lingers in the doorway for a moment and just listens to her sing.
(He kind of really, really misses her).
*
"Oh my God, I'm sick of the sound of your voice," Santana interrupts, and Rachel's mouth is opening, but Finn gets there first.
"Hey. Lay off her, Santana."
And it's not much, but Rachel looks at him, all nervous and hopeful, and he jerks his chin at her, and she glances down at her hands, clutched in front of her, before continuing. "As I was saying," she shoots a withering look at Santana, "I think we need to start preparing for Regionals."
And just like that, he has an idea.
*
"Rachel," he says, catching up to her as she leaves the choir room.
"Hey," she says, a little nervously.
"I was thinking about what you said in there. About Regionals."
"Yeah?" they're heading towards the parking lot, now.
"Hey, did you need a lift home?" he checks, and she bites her lip, all indecisive and shy, and he adds, "I think we should do something. As co-captains."
"As co-captains," she repeats, like she likes the sound of it.
"Yeah," he smiles down at her, and she smiles back, still kind of hesitant, but that's cool. They haven't talked normally for a while. "I think we should - you know. Prepare a song," and she brightens at that, like he knew she would, because he still knows Rachel Berry.
"I'll start looking as soon as I get home," she says, "I have a lot of ideas-"
"I have a song," he interrupts, and her gaze is curious.
"What is it?"
He grins at her. "You'll see. You free to practice tomorrow sometime?"
"Uh ... yeah. I guess."
"Great," he's still smiling, like a bit of an idiot, but it's OK because she's smiling back, and he's going to drive her home and tomorrow they're going to sing together and he'll tell her all this stuff that's too hard to say.
*
She's leaning against the piano, waiting for him, and he hands a copy of the sheet music to Brad, circles around to stand next to her.
"What are we singing?" she asks, as he holds out a copy for her. "After All?" she asks, gazing up at him for a second.
"You know it?" he asks, innocently, and she scoffs, because of course she does. "You want to give it a go?"
"Sure," she says, and she's fidgety and nervous, but when Brad starts playing, she gets right into it, scrunching up her face in parts, her eyes closed, reaching out with one hand, and she's so talented and intense and everything he fell in love with.
*
She asks Mr. Schue if they can perform it on Friday afternoon, which he's fine with, and Finn knows he's just happy to see the two of them talking again.
Puck raises an eyebrow at him, and maybe he would've worried about singing a Cher ballad with Rachel in front of, you know, other people a year ago, but he's pretty cool with it now.
When they get to the chorus, she's got one hand on her chest, so he grabs her free hand as they sing, "I guess it's meant to be forever you and me," and looks right at her, looks at her until he knows she gets what he's saying, and suddenly she's smiling, and it's wide and really happy and he doesn't let go of her hand.
She flings herself at him when they finish, her arms around his neck, and he hugs her back, tightly, and she's kind of giggling into her shoulder, and he's missed this so much.
"Wait," Mercedes says, as they pull apart. "Are you two-"
"Yes," Rachel says, without looking at him for confirmation, and he takes her hand again, because she sounds so freaking proud, and everyone groans, like, Not again, but they're not being serious, and even Mr. Schue joins in.
Rachel looks at him over her shoulder, all adorable and happy, and he squeezes her hand, follows her to seats in the front row, and when he drapes his arm over the back of her chair, she doesn't turn around to look at Santana, like he expected, and that kind of surprises him. But in a good way.
Mr. Schue claps his hands to get their attention, and he's totally trying to listen, but his awesome girlfriend - and maybe it's too soon to be calling her that again. He'll check with her later - is nudging his foot with hers and making it super hard to concentrate on anything but her.
*
When Mr. Schue finally lets them go, he waits for Rachel to pack her bag. She smiles, taking his hand, and her hand is so small and still fits just right in his, and as soon as they get out of the choir room, he leans down to kiss her and she's giggling against his mouth, and God, she's cute.
He pulls back, and her smile fades, slowly.
"What's wrong?" he asks, more than a little worried, because they've only been back together for, like, half an hour.
"Nothing," she says, quietly. "I just ... really missed you, Finn." And he probably knew that, but he really likes hearing it. So he ducks his head to kiss her again, and she kisses him back, standing there in her soft owl sweater and knee-high socks and holy crap, he loves her so much.
When she pulls away, he asks, "You ready to go?"
She nods, and as they head out to the parking lot, she says, thoughtfully, "I think we might make it this year," and he's known her long enough to know that she's doing that thing, where she's talking about glee club and them, so he wraps an arm around her shoulders and hugs her to him.
"I think so too," he agrees.
Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk, FOX et al.
lyrics to Faith in the Heartland and After All.
Pairing: Finn/Rachel, past Finn/Santana
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: post-Special Education
Word Count: ~2,500
Summary: OK - Santana's hot. Like ... really hot. But she doesn't wear fuzzy animal sweaters and he never has to brush the bangs out of her eyes and she's never going to sit down and help him with his Spanish homework and not make him feel like an idiot.
He doesn't understand why Rachel's so hung up on the fact that it was Santana, and, yeah, OK - Santana's hot. Like ... really hot. But she doesn't wear fuzzy animal sweaters and he never has to brush the bangs out of her eyes and she's never going to sit down and help him with his Spanish homework and not make him feel like an idiot (book is masculine and table is feminine, he remembers. Maybe. It might be the other way around. Oh, crap).
*
She makes him her I'm Sorry cookies, surprises him with them on a Tuesday morning, and she holds the plate out towards him with one hand, tucks her hair behind her ear with the other.
"I ... I got my dads to help, so they're not - they're not vegan cookies. I know ... I know you don't like them much."
The icing's green, because that's his favourite, and the letters are all carefully piped on and her voice is wobbly and nervous and this is - he can't - no. He shakes his head at her, a little helplessly, as he backs away, leaves her standing alone in the hallway.
*
Rachel made him watch old movies like Cabaret, but she went bowling with him, and came to all of his games, which was kind of embarrassing at the time, but now he kind of misses it.
Rachel's just - really cool. And talented. And she didn't care that Quinn and Santana made fun of her for wearing that Finn necklace (which, while he remembers, was also really cool. Like, she was just that proud to be dating him. Even when he wasn't quarterback).
Rachel ... Rachel thought he was really awesome, too. And not, like, because he's on the football team and kind of really popular. She thought he was selfless and good and a bunch of other things he didn't understand at the time (he should've asked her what they meant. She totally would've told him).
*
He sits up the back in glee club, sits up the back and doesn't miss the way she whispered to him about Tonys and Grammys and stage shows versus film adaptations or the way her breath tickled his ear or the way she kicked her feet when she was bored or the way she giggled when he danced.
Well.
Maybe a little.
*
Santana's hot and popular and everything Rachel's not, and she's probably never cried in the girls' bathroom because she didn't have anyone to eat lunch with and no-one gets mad when Santana's mean, which is kind of all the time, and Santana ... Santana has sex.
(And she probably doesn't wear a pink satin capelet when she does).
*
She watches them train from the bleachers, sometimes, and he doesn't need Puck nodding towards her all, "Dude," because he knows she's there, OK? He knows. He just doesn't want to talk to her.
Not yet.
*
She runs out of glee in tears for the second time this week, and Santana's filing her nails and everyone's making a point of not looking at him, and fuck, how is this his fault?
"We weren't together," he says, loudly, as Mr. Schue slowly follows Rachel.
"Yeah, but..." Mercedes tries, "her last boyfriend kind of really screwed her over."
"That Jesse kid was a real punk," Puck agrees.
"That's-" he breaks off, annoyed, because he's not sure what he's trying to say.
"She - she thought she could trust you," Tina offers, and that's great and all, but how come it doesn't matter that he thought he could trust her?
*
She's waiting for him after football practice, and he slows when he sees her, his helmet dangling from his left hand, and, seriously, does she ever give up?
"Everyone knew it was Puck's baby," she says, softly, and he's not quite following.
"What-"
"You were the last one to find out," and oh, he gets it now. But that's so not fair.
"That's different!" he protests, and she shrugs a little, like, Really? "It - just is."
"When you were dating ... Quinn," she says, and he's trying to keep up, "you kissed me. Twice."
"Rachel-"
"That's different," she interrupts, a little mockingly, "I know. You said."
"I have to-" he gestures towards the locker room and she doesn't try to stop him.
(It's quiet, but he hears the, "I'm sorry," she whispers to his back).
*
Santana's voice is really sharp sometimes. And she probably doesn't know all of the words to Funny Girl.
So. There are still two things Rachel's better at than Santana freaking Lopez.
*
He turns away when he sees her in the hallway, and it's not wrong that he doesn't want to see her, but she catches up to him quickly, yanks on his arm until he stops and turns around to face her.
"You're a coward," she says, and crap, she's tearing up and he hates it when she cries. Puck, he reminds himself. She made out with Puck. "You're so scared that someone might not like you-"
"Why is that a bad thing? You want people to like you-"
"I," she says, "don't let people change me," and he's just staring at her for a moment, because that's always been the biggest difference between them, and it's kind of why he liked her so much in the first place.
He grabs her by the wrist and tugs her over to the bottom of the stairs. "You really hurt me, Rachel. You were mean-"
"I thought you liked mean girls," and it's snippy and hurt and Quinn and Santana and every insecurity she ever had about them being together.
"Yeah, but I loved you," and it's the truth, so he says it, but when her face starts to crumple again, he thinks maybe he's just made this a thousand times worse.
*
Mr. Schue has him and Rachel singing Journey, again - Faith in the Heartland - which he's OK with, because Journey's kind of classic, right? The singing-with-Rachel-again bit is - weird, though. When he sings "He loves a girl who speaks her mind," she looks at the floor, her hair falling across her face, and when they get to the chorus, they're doing that waist-grabbing-spin thing that actually looks pretty cool, and it's like nothing ever happened.
Except, you know. She can't meet his gaze.
*
He props his arm up on the locker next to Quinn's. "You're a girl," he announces, and her eyebrows arch. "So help me out. Why is this stuff with Rachel all my fault?"
"Are you asking me to get inside Rachel Berry's head?" she asks, flatly.
"Hey," he says, a little warningly.
Quinn rolls her eyes and closes her locker. "You're an idiot," she tells him, but not like last year, not like she means it. She clutches her books to her chest and leans against the lockers. "Do you know why I joined glee club, Finn?" she asks.
His brow furrows. "Because you like singing."
Her laugh is breathy, brief. "No." She tilts her head slightly. "I ... I didn't want to lose you." Off Finn's pause, she adds, almost patiently, "To her."
"... oh," is all he says, and there's a funny feeling in his chest, like, yeah, Quinn hurt him really badly, and he hasn't forgotten that, but maybe he could've been a better boyfriend sometimes.
"She, like, really loves you," Quinn continues. "She always has."
"Oh," he says again - then, with a tentative smile, "Thanks."
She smiles back, shakes her head slightly, and as they're heading to US History, she bumps into him a couple of times with her shoulder, all friendly and cute, like maybe they're going to be OK.
*
He climbs the stairs to the bleachers, sits in the row behind Rachel. She's hugging herself against the cold, so he slowly drapes his jacket over her shoulders.
"Thanks," she turns her head slightly to the side, and it's little more than a whisper.
"Why did it matter so much that it was Santana?" he asks, eventually.
"Finn, she-" she rolls her eyes and cuts herself off. "She's horrible to me," and her voice is low, now. "She's always been horrible to me. And you ... you never stood up for me."
(It's only then that he realizes that this wasn't all about Santana, that this was about them, too, and, God, sometimes he can be really, really dumb).
*
She's the only one in the choir room when he gets there, and he wordlessly takes his seat in the back row.
"Will you ever stop hating me?" she asks quietly, and she's sitting on her hands and staring at the piano.
He stops to think before answering. Looks at the back of her head for a moment. Doesn't get that feeling in his stomach, the one that's all hurt and embarrassed and angry. "Yeah," he says, finally, and she nods, once, like maybe that's good enough.
*
He finds her in the auditorium at lunch, of course, and he's pretty sure she's singing Unbreak My Heart, and she's the most dramatic person he's ever met.
He lingers in the doorway for a moment and just listens to her sing.
(He kind of really, really misses her).
*
"Oh my God, I'm sick of the sound of your voice," Santana interrupts, and Rachel's mouth is opening, but Finn gets there first.
"Hey. Lay off her, Santana."
And it's not much, but Rachel looks at him, all nervous and hopeful, and he jerks his chin at her, and she glances down at her hands, clutched in front of her, before continuing. "As I was saying," she shoots a withering look at Santana, "I think we need to start preparing for Regionals."
And just like that, he has an idea.
*
"Rachel," he says, catching up to her as she leaves the choir room.
"Hey," she says, a little nervously.
"I was thinking about what you said in there. About Regionals."
"Yeah?" they're heading towards the parking lot, now.
"Hey, did you need a lift home?" he checks, and she bites her lip, all indecisive and shy, and he adds, "I think we should do something. As co-captains."
"As co-captains," she repeats, like she likes the sound of it.
"Yeah," he smiles down at her, and she smiles back, still kind of hesitant, but that's cool. They haven't talked normally for a while. "I think we should - you know. Prepare a song," and she brightens at that, like he knew she would, because he still knows Rachel Berry.
"I'll start looking as soon as I get home," she says, "I have a lot of ideas-"
"I have a song," he interrupts, and her gaze is curious.
"What is it?"
He grins at her. "You'll see. You free to practice tomorrow sometime?"
"Uh ... yeah. I guess."
"Great," he's still smiling, like a bit of an idiot, but it's OK because she's smiling back, and he's going to drive her home and tomorrow they're going to sing together and he'll tell her all this stuff that's too hard to say.
*
She's leaning against the piano, waiting for him, and he hands a copy of the sheet music to Brad, circles around to stand next to her.
"What are we singing?" she asks, as he holds out a copy for her. "After All?" she asks, gazing up at him for a second.
"You know it?" he asks, innocently, and she scoffs, because of course she does. "You want to give it a go?"
"Sure," she says, and she's fidgety and nervous, but when Brad starts playing, she gets right into it, scrunching up her face in parts, her eyes closed, reaching out with one hand, and she's so talented and intense and everything he fell in love with.
*
She asks Mr. Schue if they can perform it on Friday afternoon, which he's fine with, and Finn knows he's just happy to see the two of them talking again.
Puck raises an eyebrow at him, and maybe he would've worried about singing a Cher ballad with Rachel in front of, you know, other people a year ago, but he's pretty cool with it now.
When they get to the chorus, she's got one hand on her chest, so he grabs her free hand as they sing, "I guess it's meant to be forever you and me," and looks right at her, looks at her until he knows she gets what he's saying, and suddenly she's smiling, and it's wide and really happy and he doesn't let go of her hand.
She flings herself at him when they finish, her arms around his neck, and he hugs her back, tightly, and she's kind of giggling into her shoulder, and he's missed this so much.
"Wait," Mercedes says, as they pull apart. "Are you two-"
"Yes," Rachel says, without looking at him for confirmation, and he takes her hand again, because she sounds so freaking proud, and everyone groans, like, Not again, but they're not being serious, and even Mr. Schue joins in.
Rachel looks at him over her shoulder, all adorable and happy, and he squeezes her hand, follows her to seats in the front row, and when he drapes his arm over the back of her chair, she doesn't turn around to look at Santana, like he expected, and that kind of surprises him. But in a good way.
Mr. Schue claps his hands to get their attention, and he's totally trying to listen, but his awesome girlfriend - and maybe it's too soon to be calling her that again. He'll check with her later - is nudging his foot with hers and making it super hard to concentrate on anything but her.
*
When Mr. Schue finally lets them go, he waits for Rachel to pack her bag. She smiles, taking his hand, and her hand is so small and still fits just right in his, and as soon as they get out of the choir room, he leans down to kiss her and she's giggling against his mouth, and God, she's cute.
He pulls back, and her smile fades, slowly.
"What's wrong?" he asks, more than a little worried, because they've only been back together for, like, half an hour.
"Nothing," she says, quietly. "I just ... really missed you, Finn." And he probably knew that, but he really likes hearing it. So he ducks his head to kiss her again, and she kisses him back, standing there in her soft owl sweater and knee-high socks and holy crap, he loves her so much.
When she pulls away, he asks, "You ready to go?"
She nods, and as they head out to the parking lot, she says, thoughtfully, "I think we might make it this year," and he's known her long enough to know that she's doing that thing, where she's talking about glee club and them, so he wraps an arm around her shoulders and hugs her to him.
"I think so too," he agrees.
Disclaimer: Glee is owned by Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk, FOX et al.
lyrics to Faith in the Heartland and After All.