Comments | trustedfaith: Erotica

trustedfaith

Erotica

Feb 25, 2006 23:50

I don't know why it came to me, but this idea for this erotica story came to me in some odd half dazed daydream. I've never written erotica before, mind you -- so this first draft is the first attempt as well. I'm not sure if I'm good at it or not, and I'm not sure the story is good. But I'll let you be the judge. If you like it, I'll write ( Read more... )

prose, short story, fiction, erotica

Comments 8

zenbodhi February 26 2006, 05:40:49 UTC

I know we talked at length about your story, but I wanted to leave you a comment here to let you know that I really liked it. Excellent job, Jen.

trustedfaith February 27 2006, 14:40:05 UTC

I wonder if I should try and get it published.

zenbodhi February 27 2006, 20:00:03 UTC

I honestly think you should.

ghostwes February 27 2006, 09:50:55 UTC

Well done.

trustedfaith February 27 2006, 14:16:38 UTC

Thanks, should I leave it there or should I add more?

ghostwes February 27 2006, 14:41:31 UTC

I think you ended this well -- to extend the scene at all would diminish from the great ending.

However, you may want to clarify the last sentence so that it is clear to the reader what "difference" he is showing her. I had to re-read some of the dialogue in order to understand why he was saying that. Emphasizing that earlier part of the dialogue might also clarify this a bit.

I kind of like that he didn't get any kind of release of his own. Instead, he got to dominate her, to their mutual satisfaction (though, not my cup o' -sex- tea, to be honest). Anyway, it contrasts well, I think, and makes for a satisfying conclusion.

And really, how many different ways can erotica end? :)

trustedfaith February 27 2006, 17:40:07 UTC

I was trying to show that there's a natural side to d/s that you just rarely see. Most people see the freaks o' nature who want to extreme it up with leather whips, chains, ball-gags, etc.

You don't need props or beatings to prove you're dominant or submissive. You just need to be in that mindset.

People who go to the extreme just want to be freaky and know that they're not the only freaky people out there when you see communities set up just for their freak fetishes.

All in all, d/s can be a very simple thing, it doesn't have to be costumed up to be functional. It just is, as it should be.

Thread 5