Merry X-mas: HS AU
Title: This Way Comes: First Week of Senior Year
Author: truelyesoteric
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Warnings: Its RPS AU. High School. That is enough of a scary thing for me. Also all the usual. Also this is a part of a larger whole story. Which will come every few weeks. I don't leave you hanging with WIPs. Promise.
Spoilers: Its AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone named Jensen and Jared. Slavery is wrong, yo. I also didn't go to private HS, but this may or may not be based on my step-sister's stories.
Word Count: 5,000
Summary: Jared Padalecki has money, a great education, a sure thing at an ivy league college, a great room in his dorms, athletic skills that make him captain of every team he's on, and popularity. What he needs is a clue. Entering into his awareness: Jensen Ackles.
Beta: There would be no posting without kathickers. I sent it to her with a "how about this", she wrote me back and told me I had to do this. So I did. She also helped me immensely with everything.
“There she is,” Chad sighed leaning against a tree, a cigarette dangling from his fingers, his school uniform askew.
Jared looked up from his iPod and saw Sophia Bush crossing the lawn; talking animatedly to that guy she was always with.
Chad had been in love with Sophia for two years. She had come to the prestigious private school, St. Anne’s, as a sophomore and Chad had not stopped talking about her since. Jared had thought it was just going to be his best friend’s crush of the week; he had thought that Chad would bang her and be done with it, but it hadn’t turned out quite like that.
“And there is her eternal cock block,” Chad commented.
That guy--Jared couldn’t for the life of him remember his name, but he knew the guy had been around for a while. Most of the kids at this school had been together since seventh grade. Jared knew he must have had some classes with the guy, but they didn’t run in the same circles.
The kid was a townie; he didn’t live on campus, which was one strike. He was in drama or something like that, which was another strike to the soccer star of the school. His third and most damning strike was that he was pretty much a loner until Sophia showed up. Nobody wanted to hang around with the loner, which was kind of the point, Jared guessed.
Chad stomped out his cigarette angrily.
“Fucking Jensen Ackles,” Chad muttered.
Jared already wasn’t listening
“The most beautiful woman in the world comes to this school, which is full of girls I’ve already dated-“
“Or wouldn’t date you,” Jared added helpfully.
“Whatever,” Chad said still pounding out his cigarette, not noticing that it was nothing more than a filter. “She comes here and finds the one gay guy-“
That was right, Jared thought again. He was gay. That was his deal, or why he was a loner or whatever.
“-And immediately refuses to date anyone until he dates someone. Which at this school and in this town is pretty damn near impossible,” Chad muttered. “Fucking women and their equality to guys who don’t even ever want to fuck them. How are we supposed to procreate as a species?”
“And ewww,” Jared said returning his gaze to his iPod. “Please stop making this about the greater good. If she had put out you wouldn’t even remember her name.”
“But she didn’t, she has all these morals and principles and it is all so sexy,” Chad said in a whine. “And now I love her and will never have her.”
Jared just sighed and went back to listening to music in the sun. The conversation was nearly forgotten by the time that the song reached the chorus.
**
It was the first day of classes of Jared’s senior year. He was captain of the soccer team and he had a room on the top floor of Brewster, which was the best place have access to the roof. Roof access meant that he had a place to do whatever he wanted.
This year was going to be great. He was going to Brown next year. It was a sure thing--his grades were pretty good and he was golden on the field. Also he was a super-legacy. He was pretty sure his family had built a couple of halls, not really with their sweat and tears, but with plenty of money.
First period was Calculus. Which was a terrible way to begin the day, but he figured math wouldn’t be as bad if he weren’t entirely awake for it. He sat in the front row like he had in every class since freshman year because his legs had stopped being able to comfortably fit behind a desk.
He took the last seat left and looked through his bag for something to pretend to write with. His bag held a notebook and the required text, but not a single implement that would put words on a page. He looked around at his options. Behind him was one girl he had slept with and couldn’t remember her name and kitty corner to him was fricken Vanessa Hodgens, who was currently stalking him. To his right, with notebook open and pen poised was that guy.
Who the fuck was Sophia’s guy again? He tried to remember. He thought that he should remember it had only been fifteen minutes ago that Chad had been going on and on about it, but Jared hadn’t really been paying attention and he couldn’t remember.
The teacher came in and Jared reached out a hand and tugged on the guy’s shirt. Jared was ignored. Jared tugged harder.
Finally Jared gave up. “Hey, Freckles.”
Jared watched a little mesmerized as the freckles on his neck stood out more as the skin beneath them reddened. Finally murderous green eyes turned towards him. Jared was caught a little off guard. Those eyes were fiery green with bits of gold. Jared was stunned. He didn’t know quite why. He couldn’t form a complete sentence. Or manage a word. He just looked at those eyes, surrounded by long lashes. Jared couldn’t ever really remember being looked at before.
Not like this.
The guy turned around, looking back at the teacher.
Jared remembered his mission and tugged on the guy’s shirt again.
“Can I borrow a pen?” Jared whispered.
Jared watched as the tips of the guy’s ears went red. Jared was so mesmerized by the red spreading over his ears he was a little startled when a hand thrust a pen onto his desk. He took the pen that was still warm and just held it for the rest of the class. The teacher could have given the answers to the SATs and given out all the teacher’s passwords, yet Jared was simply quite content to watch the guy’s neck.
Even in his own mind it sounded creepy. Yet he just looked. He tried to look away, to pay attention, but the little freckles kept drawing his attention. By the red on the back of the guy’s neck Jared knew that the guy knew he was looking.
When the class ended the guy ran out of the room like a dart and Jared was left with the borrowed pen, which he began to chew on.
Well that was weird, Jared thought, and then thought nothing more about it.
For ten minutes.
When he showed up in German class, sitting in the front row was that guy. The guy looked at him again. This time there was something a little fearful in those eyes, underneath the murderous rage.
Jared plopped down next to him and stretched his long legs out. He took the pen out of his mouth and held it out.
“Here.”
The guy looked down at the chewn pen cap.
“Really, keep it,” the guy said, his voice heavy with wry vileness. “I insist.”
Jared began to chew the cap again and studied the guy.
“I’m Jared,” Jared tried.
The guy looked at him, and Jared was faced with the most incredulous expression that he had ever received.
Two ways I’ve never been looked at in an hour Jared thought out of nowhere. His stomach started to feel a little itchy.
“I know,” the guy told him with scorn.
Jared looked a little surprised.
“Thanks for the pen,” Jared offered.
The guy’s eyebrow’s shot up.
“Herr Ackles, Herr Padalecki, sprechen sie Deutch, bitte.”
Ackles, Jared thought, Gotta remember that. Ackles. Ackles. Ackles.
The first part of class was trying to say the name over and over and over again because for some reason he really wanted to remember it. The second part of class was spent trying to put together every name that he knew with Ackles to see which one was the right one. He was on European dictators when the class was dismissed. He was so lost in Mussolini Ackles and Adolf Ackles that most of the class was gone before he started moving to follow them.
He was strangely disappointed that the Ackles guy wasn’t in his next class, which was Government. He began to figure that he would never be in politics like his mother wanted because this shit was so boring. He ended up thinking about the Ackles guy.
Ackles had looked at him as if he were stupid when he introduced himself. Jared wasn’t so full of himself that he thought that everybody should know him; it was just that the guy seemed to think that they were acquainted.
Jared really had nothing for that one.
So maybe I’m a little self-involved. Jared considered. Maybe I should branch out a bit.
Jared was high on his new plan and when it was time to go to the next class he found the opportunity to act on it.
Ackles was in his class. Jared looked at the tiny space in the second row and then momentarily considered the front row with all its legroom.
With a sigh Jared moved away from the promise of leg room, to sit down next to Ackles and gave him the most blinding of smiles.
“Looks like we’re on the same track this year,” Jared said conversationally. He was a friendly guy; everybody said so.
Jensen looked at him like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Jensen apparently did not appreciate his friendliness.
Jensen turned to the front of the room. This year was World Lit in their English course and Jared was secretly excited. He didn’t like to admit much, but he loved the drama of the old books. His parents had always been having parties for causes and he had spent many a night in the library while parties went on downstairs. That was a secret he was more than willing to take to his grave.
It was halfway through class when Jared was struck by a thought.
Ackles likes doing dudes.
Jared wasn’t slow; he did realize what gay was. However it was one thing to know someone was gay, it was an entire other thing to think about the guy sitting next to you in class with another guy.
The thing was Jared couldn’t unthink it. At first he chastised himself for being judgmental, his parents had raised him much more enlightened than that, when they had been around.
Then he realized it wasn’t an anti gay feeling coursing through him.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Hunh, Jared thought as he shifted in his pants that were rapidly becoming a little tight.
He wrote it off that he was eighteen and there really wasn’t much that didn’t turn him on. Thinking about any kind of sex or anything that was linked to sex pretty much did the trick. It was a little odd, it being a guy, doing another guy, but Jensen’s hands flipping a page in his notebook quickly distracted him.
Jensen has nice hands, Jared said, craning a little bit to watch Jensen write. Jared was totally unable to listen to the rest of class.
When class ended he remembered his resolve to be friendlier.
“Hey,” Jared said brightly to Ackles. “I have lunch this period, what are you doing?”
Ackles looked at him for a moment and then put his book in the bag, “Something where you aren’t.”
Jared watched him leave.
Ackles was kind of a dick.
**
“Ackles is kind of a dick,” Jared said as he and Chad were sitting on the lawn. Jared was surrounded by two plates of food. Chad had an apple. Jared sometimes worried that Chad was anorexic or had some kind of body morphic issues. Then again Jared ate enough for both of them.
“Jensen?” Chad asked, not really following the random tangents that Jared went on; typically he didn’t invest himself in Jared. Chad knew that eventually he would catch onto Jared’s tangents, if he didn’t he could just let it go.
Chad was pretty simple.
Jensen, Jared’s brain sighed. He tried not to notice that he had just thought Jensen’s name like a tween girl would sigh the name or her favorite pop star, but it was becoming difficult for him to even remotely block out this reaction to Jensen he seemed to be having.
“Yeah,” Jared said as he chewed with his mouth firmly shut, his momma taught him manners, but if you were outdoors the manners didn’t have to be heeded. “He’s in, like, all my classes and he makes a point to be a jerk to me.”
Chad pondered this and then squinted at Jared, “Ackles has had most classes with you for the last three years; you two are doing that whole advanced track thing. You’re just now figuring that out? No wonder he’s a jerk to you.”
Oh, that is what that look meant, flowed through Jared brain, followed quickly by, well then, I guess I’m the dick.
Jared chewed on his food thoughtfully.
**
“Oh, sweet fucking lord,” Jensen swore when Jared entered Physics. Jared just smiled because he wasn’t a dick.
Jared took the lab seat next to where Jensen and Sophia sat, he made a big show of sitting down and getting out his chewed on pen. Chad followed and sat down next to him. Chad was doing his best not to show how much he was staring at Sophia.
“Hi, Jensen,” Jared said cheerfully, he was going to be nice if it killed him.
Or at least until he figured out what this strange reaction was.
Jensen buried his head in his hands as if he was embarrassed that Jared was talking to him. Jared understood that cliques didn’t talk, but Jensen was being ridiculous. The stigma of the emo kid and the jock kid was so cliché
“Are you stalking me?” Jensen said, his head still buried in his hands.
Jared cocked his head.
Any answer that he could think up in the fogged brain that today was causing was lost when the teacher came in and started class.
Mrs. Fenster had been teaching at the school for far too long. She had learned a long time ago that if people chose their lab partners the room was a disaster. She knew the cliques and the kids, most of them had been here since they were twelve. She liked to shake things up a bit.
She cleared her throat and began to reassign the seats and the lab partners, according to the system she had devised years ago.
In the movement Jared realized that for an entire semester he would be sitting and working with Jensen. Chad would be working with Sophia.
Chad looked as if he had died and gone to heaven.
Jensen looked as if he had died and gone to some place worse than hell.
Jared spent most of the class sulking. Jensen spent most of his time looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Sophia was dividing her time between looking exasperated at Chad and avoiding any kind of contact with him and looking worriedly at Jensen.
Jared tried not to be offended, but it was almost a losing battle. He was really really trying and Jensen was being impossible. Jared didn’t have to say two words to him, and this guy was just being a jerk, for no reason. No matter the unwritten rules of private high school politics, with a little of town/gown rules thrown in, Jensen didn’t have to be a total ass about this kind of thing.
Yet he was.
Jared decided to take great pains to ignore him, this couldn’t be worth it in anyway. This friendly thing was not working out. He could tell in just the few hours he had been trying.
By the time class ended Jared’s high resolve to be nice was dashed. He went about his history and his art class like he was actually a student. He was so over Jensen Ackles and his attitude.
Last period he had swimming. Michael Phelps had shown that huge guys with hands like paddles could excel at this sport so Jared had signed up, thinking that this was going to be an easy ‘A’.
What Jared did not consider was Jensen Ackles, in a tiny black Speedo. Jared lounged at the wall and watched Jensen take a dive.
Jared was impressed by the posture that Jensen had.
You’re thinking about his posture, Jared’s inner voice muttered. Can you stop being a goober for one second?
Jared sighed, because watching Jensen move in next to nothing was captivating. He could admit that. Dear sweet lord the man had abs that were perfect, legs that were charmingly bowlegged, and a mouth that made him think more about the whole gay sex thing.
Jared dove into the cold water.
He absolutely had to think of something else.
**
Jared knew he was staring, but his full attention was brought to it when Jensen huffed up next to him. Jared was in a towel; Jensen was still wet from the shower.
“Look,” Jensen said without preamble, “I know you know I’m gay. If you want to beat me up can you do it now? I’ve got a heavy course load and everything so I’d really rather deal with it now, as opposed to finals or midterms. Just for the record I’m not going to hit on you, and I’m not thinking about you naked when we shower. Just please get it over with.”
He doesn’t think of me in the shower? Disappointment came unbidden and from the recesses of Jared’s mind. That was when Jared realized that there was a very big part of him that wanted Jensen to be thinking of him as much as he thought of Jensen, which, only having been for a day was still quite a bit.
In high school years it was almost a century of pining. Hell, it was longer than his relationship with Hillarie Burton.
Jensen huffed off before Jared could think of anything to say.
**
Jared liked to plan out little exploits to amuse himself. He was easily bored and an excellent planner.
His parents were globetrotting heroes who were trying to save the earth, stop AIDS in third world countries, and end injustice everywhere and they had plenty of old money to fund their excursions.
Jared had asked nicely to go to private school because at the wise age of twelve he was sick and tired of being dragged all over the world. He wanted friends.
However, in those first twelve years he had learned something very important: how to amuse himself, how to see the world in his own way.
So he could come up with some great plans, which was why he had Chad. The first time he opened his mouth with one of these plans Chad’s jaw had dropped. They had been twelve and they had gotten in trouble. Jared had learned something important. Chad would do anything and Chad loved to do anything. From that moment on Chad was as much a part of his life as his toothbrush, and Jared loved his white pearly teeth.
In light of the trouble that they had gotten in the first time, Jared had learned in the last six years that a well-researched plan was so much better than one done on the fly.
So Jared opened his computer. Chad was out doing whatever it was that Chad did when he wasn’t around.
Jared knew how to research.
This research was a little different from usual, but research nonetheless. He opened his browser and typed in the URL for YouPornGay. He knew the abstract of what gay people did, but he wanted to see if it was something he could see himself doing.
He clicked on one of the videos that had decent looking guys; there were a shocking amount that featured people that he would never think about fucking. If he was going to do this then it was going to still live up to his standards.
Jared only did pretty.
He watched.
There was kissing. He could get the kissing. Kissing was kissing. He knew how to kiss, it was about adjusting it to the person you were with. Simple.
Then came nipples and stomachs. It was all very doable. Jared didn’t see the big deal in any of that.
Then out came the cocks. Jared tilted his head and looked. He really hadn’t really thought about a cock that wasn’t his. He had watched porn before, but he was usually focused on the girl parts. He looked at the dick and thought about it. He asked himself the very real question, ‘would you suck on that?’ Jared liked getting head; it was awesome. He had never thought about doing it.
He was intrigued and when he shifted he found he was a little turned on by the show he was watching.
Jared was always chewing on stuff, Sandy called it his oral fixation, and he always admired his own cock, which wasn’t really the same as giving head, but all the elements put together seemed to work for him and he was kinda into it.
Then came the fucking.
Jared blanched at the sight of something that size going into an asshole, because the very real implication was so much more. Something going into his ass freaked him out. He closed the computer screen abruptly.
Then he sat there, breathing hard. Thinking about why someone would possibly even consider that.
After a moment of heavy breathing his momentary panic was replaced by curiosity.
Jared was way too curious about life.
Idly he palmed his cock through his shorts. He was hard, but not in a demanding way. He thought about it. They were in high school; maybe the whole dick up the ass thing wouldn’t come up. If it did maybe he wouldn’t have to take it. Fucking just seemed like a big step.
Then he was brought back to curiosity. He thought about it and then decided to see, just see what happened.
He locked his door, praying that Chad would not come home. He found some lube on Chad’s side of the room, which he refused to think about. He knew Chad like lube instead of lotion like a real man, but he didn’t want to think about Chad jerking off. They had limits as friends. He stripped down to nothing and lay on his bed, sprawled out. He thought about it. He thought about sucking on another guy’s dick.
His own cock responded nicely to the thought of a good sixty-nine going. Jared sucked on his own fingers and just pictured having someone on top of him, a cock in his mouth. It actually turned him on. The thought of it was really hot.
Jared was pumping himself, really getting into this fantasy.
He opened the bottle of lube and coated his dick and his fingers.
He thought about it as he circled his own cock, pulling it, thinking about Jensen in his little Speedo. He felt his cock twitch in his hand.
So I’m not reading this wrong, his brain supplied as he heard himself moan.
He stroked himself, feeling his entire body get into it. Sweat pooled on the dips of his chest and Jared knew that he wasn’t totally adverse to this whole thing.
But his curiosity wanted one more little thing. Jared sighed, it was now or never.
In for a penny, in for a pound. He kept one hand on his dick and reached one lower, circling his asshole. It was strange, but his body seemed to like this idea. He pushed one finger in, thinking all the time of a guy with him.
The finger was odd; sticking his finger in his ass was kind of like sticking his finger in his ass. He didn’t quite get the initial appeal. If guys, and some girls, had been doing this for years then there had to be something to it. He breathed deeply and thought about the feeling. It was tight and hot and his dick seemed to approve. His dick seemed to want to be his finger.
He moved it around, exploring a little. He hit a spot in himself about an inch up that made his vision white out. He pulled on his dick and was lost to anything but the feeling of his fingers in his own ass, his hand on his dick. He came so hard that he thought that his head was going to explode.
Oh, okay. Went through his head as he continued to shake though it all.
**
He didn’t immediately tell Chad his plan. One day does not constitute redefining his sexuality. One day could have just been a fluke.
He did his early morning practice with the soccer team and ate breakfast with his friends. It was normal; he escorted Sandy to her class and made it to his in plenty of time. He sat down heavily next to Jensen.
Jared returned to his idea that he could be charming. He smiled widely at Jensen.
“Beautiful day,” Jared said.
You’re an idiot, his brain supplied.
Jensen grunted.
“I’m not going to beat you up dude,” Jared said earnestly. “You can try to be a decent human being.”
Jensen turned his entire body around to look at Jared and Jared was momentarily stunned.
I jerked off to him last night, Jared mind supplied. My mind grossly underestimated him. I wonder if there is porn about him. I would so watch it.
Jared begged his mind to shut off.
“Look,” Jensen told him. “I don’t want any trouble. I’m just going to try to get through this year without any of you jocks doing some lame ass threatening and throwing punches.”
“Dude, you need to chill on your issues,” Jared defended.
Jensen waved his hand and turned away as the teacher came in.
**
Jared thought about it a little more for the rest of the week. He thought about Jensen and his little plan to get Chad to have a date with the love of his life.
The soccer team traveled to one of the other private schools in the area for a game that weekend and Jared killed it. He was a god on the field.
On Monday he was a lower form of life in Jensen’s eyes. Which did not help his whole plan to get to know if the gay porn that he had watched was in any way accurate.
On Tuesday he tried to see if just by staring he could figure out what this strange obsession with Jensen was. At the end of the day he was still fascinated, horny, and very confused.
On Wednesday he decided to tell Chad his plan. Chad was usually all for anything.
“I’ve got a way you can date Sophia,” Jared informed him.
“Really?” Chad said perking up. “You found a guy for Jensen?”
“Yeah,” Jared nodded.
“Who?” Chad said eagerly.
“Me,” Jared replied.
Chad just stared at him. Then Chad smacked him.
“Not funny mocking my pain dude,” Chad said, deflating.
“I’m serious,” Jared told him. “I’ll go out with him.”
Chad looked at him through squinted eyes. “Since when are you gay?”
Jared shrugged as if this weren’t even a thing. “Never gave it that much thought about it. I don’t know, but seeing him in a Speedo every day is making me think that I wouldn’t be adverse to the idea.”
“Seriously?” Chad asked. “I talked to Sandy about how to get with Sophia. Screwing around with him isn’t enough. He hooks up with that Chris Kane guy in town, and that doesn’t count. You would have to date him--date him, like, publicly. Holding hands, dinner, that kind of shit.”
Chris Kane, five-eight, I could take him, Jared’s brain supplied happily. Jared tried to push that away as so not the point. He also tried to ignore the jolt of jealousy he was pretending not to understand.
“Could be interesting?” Jared said, “Why not, isn’t experimentation what high school is for?”
“That is college,” Chad reminded him. “High school is a time for bigotry and beating up anyone who is different.”
Jared shrugged. “I’ve always been ahead of the curve.”
Chad just stared, “Seriously, stop mocking me.”
Chad stormed off.
**
Jared spent the day trying to make small talk with Jensen. It went terribly. Jared began to think that the biggest hole in his plan was that Jensen did not seem to be at all interested. Which wasn’t fair. Jared could be charming and hot and Jensen just glared.
Jared really felt as if his classes this year were a little boring. Sure they were hard, but he was having trouble concentrating because in most of them Jensen was right fucking there and Jensen was a whole lot of distraction.
So Jared started a pro/con list.
He figured that a pro/con list would at least show Chad he was serious. If he couldn’t convince Chad that he would date Jensen it might be a little more difficult to convince Jensen that he wanted to date Jensen.
It turned out to be pretty much a pro list; Jared showed it to Chad proudly.
“Number four,” Chad read aloud. “Nobody is getting pregnant.”
Jared smiled, he was proud about that one.
“Number seven,” Chad said slowly. “Less height differential.”
Jared nodded, he could do big words, he was going to kill it on the SATs.
“Number eleven,” Chad said, his eyes growing squinter. “Can’t be worse than Alexis.”
Jared shrugged, not much could be worse than the three months that he had spent as Alexis’ boyfriend.
Chad threw the list at Jared, “Seriously, Jay-man, you do realize that you are thinking about a dude. You are talking about doing a dude. There would be a cock involved that isn’t yours.”
Jared considered this. “There is that. There is also the fact that he thinks that I’m going to beat him up and he might hate me without even knowing me. In fact, I might not like him either.”
Chad rolled his eyes. “This sounds like a terrible plan.”
Jared was shocked. Chad was always gung ho.
Chad thought for a long moment. Then he just nodded
“If you want to throw yourself on Jensen’s dick so I have a shot with Sophia I am good.” Chad announced. “This will at least be interesting. You can join me in Club Shot Down.”
“Your faith in me is awesome,” Jared muttered.
Chad just patted him on the arm, “Just think though, your hippie liberal parents will be so proud. You should call them. Tell them about this. They will adore the fact that their little private school child is so sexually flexible.”
Jared thought for a moment, “Maybe I’ll wait to see if, you know, Jensen would even consider this.”
Chad just started laughing, “This is going to be great.”
Part II: My Will To His Consent
Author: truelyesoteric
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Warnings: Its RPS AU. High School. That is enough of a scary thing for me. Also all the usual. Also this is a part of a larger whole story. Which will come every few weeks. I don't leave you hanging with WIPs. Promise.
Spoilers: Its AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone named Jensen and Jared. Slavery is wrong, yo. I also didn't go to private HS, but this may or may not be based on my step-sister's stories.
Word Count: 5,000
Summary: Jared Padalecki has money, a great education, a sure thing at an ivy league college, a great room in his dorms, athletic skills that make him captain of every team he's on, and popularity. What he needs is a clue. Entering into his awareness: Jensen Ackles.
Beta: There would be no posting without kathickers. I sent it to her with a "how about this", she wrote me back and told me I had to do this. So I did. She also helped me immensely with everything.
“There she is,” Chad sighed leaning against a tree, a cigarette dangling from his fingers, his school uniform askew.
Jared looked up from his iPod and saw Sophia Bush crossing the lawn; talking animatedly to that guy she was always with.
Chad had been in love with Sophia for two years. She had come to the prestigious private school, St. Anne’s, as a sophomore and Chad had not stopped talking about her since. Jared had thought it was just going to be his best friend’s crush of the week; he had thought that Chad would bang her and be done with it, but it hadn’t turned out quite like that.
“And there is her eternal cock block,” Chad commented.
That guy--Jared couldn’t for the life of him remember his name, but he knew the guy had been around for a while. Most of the kids at this school had been together since seventh grade. Jared knew he must have had some classes with the guy, but they didn’t run in the same circles.
The kid was a townie; he didn’t live on campus, which was one strike. He was in drama or something like that, which was another strike to the soccer star of the school. His third and most damning strike was that he was pretty much a loner until Sophia showed up. Nobody wanted to hang around with the loner, which was kind of the point, Jared guessed.
Chad stomped out his cigarette angrily.
“Fucking Jensen Ackles,” Chad muttered.
Jared already wasn’t listening
“The most beautiful woman in the world comes to this school, which is full of girls I’ve already dated-“
“Or wouldn’t date you,” Jared added helpfully.
“Whatever,” Chad said still pounding out his cigarette, not noticing that it was nothing more than a filter. “She comes here and finds the one gay guy-“
That was right, Jared thought again. He was gay. That was his deal, or why he was a loner or whatever.
“-And immediately refuses to date anyone until he dates someone. Which at this school and in this town is pretty damn near impossible,” Chad muttered. “Fucking women and their equality to guys who don’t even ever want to fuck them. How are we supposed to procreate as a species?”
“And ewww,” Jared said returning his gaze to his iPod. “Please stop making this about the greater good. If she had put out you wouldn’t even remember her name.”
“But she didn’t, she has all these morals and principles and it is all so sexy,” Chad said in a whine. “And now I love her and will never have her.”
Jared just sighed and went back to listening to music in the sun. The conversation was nearly forgotten by the time that the song reached the chorus.
**
It was the first day of classes of Jared’s senior year. He was captain of the soccer team and he had a room on the top floor of Brewster, which was the best place have access to the roof. Roof access meant that he had a place to do whatever he wanted.
This year was going to be great. He was going to Brown next year. It was a sure thing--his grades were pretty good and he was golden on the field. Also he was a super-legacy. He was pretty sure his family had built a couple of halls, not really with their sweat and tears, but with plenty of money.
First period was Calculus. Which was a terrible way to begin the day, but he figured math wouldn’t be as bad if he weren’t entirely awake for it. He sat in the front row like he had in every class since freshman year because his legs had stopped being able to comfortably fit behind a desk.
He took the last seat left and looked through his bag for something to pretend to write with. His bag held a notebook and the required text, but not a single implement that would put words on a page. He looked around at his options. Behind him was one girl he had slept with and couldn’t remember her name and kitty corner to him was fricken Vanessa Hodgens, who was currently stalking him. To his right, with notebook open and pen poised was that guy.
Who the fuck was Sophia’s guy again? He tried to remember. He thought that he should remember it had only been fifteen minutes ago that Chad had been going on and on about it, but Jared hadn’t really been paying attention and he couldn’t remember.
The teacher came in and Jared reached out a hand and tugged on the guy’s shirt. Jared was ignored. Jared tugged harder.
Finally Jared gave up. “Hey, Freckles.”
Jared watched a little mesmerized as the freckles on his neck stood out more as the skin beneath them reddened. Finally murderous green eyes turned towards him. Jared was caught a little off guard. Those eyes were fiery green with bits of gold. Jared was stunned. He didn’t know quite why. He couldn’t form a complete sentence. Or manage a word. He just looked at those eyes, surrounded by long lashes. Jared couldn’t ever really remember being looked at before.
Not like this.
The guy turned around, looking back at the teacher.
Jared remembered his mission and tugged on the guy’s shirt again.
“Can I borrow a pen?” Jared whispered.
Jared watched as the tips of the guy’s ears went red. Jared was so mesmerized by the red spreading over his ears he was a little startled when a hand thrust a pen onto his desk. He took the pen that was still warm and just held it for the rest of the class. The teacher could have given the answers to the SATs and given out all the teacher’s passwords, yet Jared was simply quite content to watch the guy’s neck.
Even in his own mind it sounded creepy. Yet he just looked. He tried to look away, to pay attention, but the little freckles kept drawing his attention. By the red on the back of the guy’s neck Jared knew that the guy knew he was looking.
When the class ended the guy ran out of the room like a dart and Jared was left with the borrowed pen, which he began to chew on.
Well that was weird, Jared thought, and then thought nothing more about it.
For ten minutes.
When he showed up in German class, sitting in the front row was that guy. The guy looked at him again. This time there was something a little fearful in those eyes, underneath the murderous rage.
Jared plopped down next to him and stretched his long legs out. He took the pen out of his mouth and held it out.
“Here.”
The guy looked down at the chewn pen cap.
“Really, keep it,” the guy said, his voice heavy with wry vileness. “I insist.”
Jared began to chew the cap again and studied the guy.
“I’m Jared,” Jared tried.
The guy looked at him, and Jared was faced with the most incredulous expression that he had ever received.
Two ways I’ve never been looked at in an hour Jared thought out of nowhere. His stomach started to feel a little itchy.
“I know,” the guy told him with scorn.
Jared looked a little surprised.
“Thanks for the pen,” Jared offered.
The guy’s eyebrow’s shot up.
“Herr Ackles, Herr Padalecki, sprechen sie Deutch, bitte.”
Ackles, Jared thought, Gotta remember that. Ackles. Ackles. Ackles.
The first part of class was trying to say the name over and over and over again because for some reason he really wanted to remember it. The second part of class was spent trying to put together every name that he knew with Ackles to see which one was the right one. He was on European dictators when the class was dismissed. He was so lost in Mussolini Ackles and Adolf Ackles that most of the class was gone before he started moving to follow them.
He was strangely disappointed that the Ackles guy wasn’t in his next class, which was Government. He began to figure that he would never be in politics like his mother wanted because this shit was so boring. He ended up thinking about the Ackles guy.
Ackles had looked at him as if he were stupid when he introduced himself. Jared wasn’t so full of himself that he thought that everybody should know him; it was just that the guy seemed to think that they were acquainted.
Jared really had nothing for that one.
So maybe I’m a little self-involved. Jared considered. Maybe I should branch out a bit.
Jared was high on his new plan and when it was time to go to the next class he found the opportunity to act on it.
Ackles was in his class. Jared looked at the tiny space in the second row and then momentarily considered the front row with all its legroom.
With a sigh Jared moved away from the promise of leg room, to sit down next to Ackles and gave him the most blinding of smiles.
“Looks like we’re on the same track this year,” Jared said conversationally. He was a friendly guy; everybody said so.
Jensen looked at him like he was dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Jensen apparently did not appreciate his friendliness.
Jensen turned to the front of the room. This year was World Lit in their English course and Jared was secretly excited. He didn’t like to admit much, but he loved the drama of the old books. His parents had always been having parties for causes and he had spent many a night in the library while parties went on downstairs. That was a secret he was more than willing to take to his grave.
It was halfway through class when Jared was struck by a thought.
Ackles likes doing dudes.
Jared wasn’t slow; he did realize what gay was. However it was one thing to know someone was gay, it was an entire other thing to think about the guy sitting next to you in class with another guy.
The thing was Jared couldn’t unthink it. At first he chastised himself for being judgmental, his parents had raised him much more enlightened than that, when they had been around.
Then he realized it wasn’t an anti gay feeling coursing through him.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Hunh, Jared thought as he shifted in his pants that were rapidly becoming a little tight.
He wrote it off that he was eighteen and there really wasn’t much that didn’t turn him on. Thinking about any kind of sex or anything that was linked to sex pretty much did the trick. It was a little odd, it being a guy, doing another guy, but Jensen’s hands flipping a page in his notebook quickly distracted him.
Jensen has nice hands, Jared said, craning a little bit to watch Jensen write. Jared was totally unable to listen to the rest of class.
When class ended he remembered his resolve to be friendlier.
“Hey,” Jared said brightly to Ackles. “I have lunch this period, what are you doing?”
Ackles looked at him for a moment and then put his book in the bag, “Something where you aren’t.”
Jared watched him leave.
Ackles was kind of a dick.
**
“Ackles is kind of a dick,” Jared said as he and Chad were sitting on the lawn. Jared was surrounded by two plates of food. Chad had an apple. Jared sometimes worried that Chad was anorexic or had some kind of body morphic issues. Then again Jared ate enough for both of them.
“Jensen?” Chad asked, not really following the random tangents that Jared went on; typically he didn’t invest himself in Jared. Chad knew that eventually he would catch onto Jared’s tangents, if he didn’t he could just let it go.
Chad was pretty simple.
Jensen, Jared’s brain sighed. He tried not to notice that he had just thought Jensen’s name like a tween girl would sigh the name or her favorite pop star, but it was becoming difficult for him to even remotely block out this reaction to Jensen he seemed to be having.
“Yeah,” Jared said as he chewed with his mouth firmly shut, his momma taught him manners, but if you were outdoors the manners didn’t have to be heeded. “He’s in, like, all my classes and he makes a point to be a jerk to me.”
Chad pondered this and then squinted at Jared, “Ackles has had most classes with you for the last three years; you two are doing that whole advanced track thing. You’re just now figuring that out? No wonder he’s a jerk to you.”
Oh, that is what that look meant, flowed through Jared brain, followed quickly by, well then, I guess I’m the dick.
Jared chewed on his food thoughtfully.
**
“Oh, sweet fucking lord,” Jensen swore when Jared entered Physics. Jared just smiled because he wasn’t a dick.
Jared took the lab seat next to where Jensen and Sophia sat, he made a big show of sitting down and getting out his chewed on pen. Chad followed and sat down next to him. Chad was doing his best not to show how much he was staring at Sophia.
“Hi, Jensen,” Jared said cheerfully, he was going to be nice if it killed him.
Or at least until he figured out what this strange reaction was.
Jensen buried his head in his hands as if he was embarrassed that Jared was talking to him. Jared understood that cliques didn’t talk, but Jensen was being ridiculous. The stigma of the emo kid and the jock kid was so cliché
“Are you stalking me?” Jensen said, his head still buried in his hands.
Jared cocked his head.
Any answer that he could think up in the fogged brain that today was causing was lost when the teacher came in and started class.
Mrs. Fenster had been teaching at the school for far too long. She had learned a long time ago that if people chose their lab partners the room was a disaster. She knew the cliques and the kids, most of them had been here since they were twelve. She liked to shake things up a bit.
She cleared her throat and began to reassign the seats and the lab partners, according to the system she had devised years ago.
In the movement Jared realized that for an entire semester he would be sitting and working with Jensen. Chad would be working with Sophia.
Chad looked as if he had died and gone to heaven.
Jensen looked as if he had died and gone to some place worse than hell.
Jared spent most of the class sulking. Jensen spent most of his time looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Sophia was dividing her time between looking exasperated at Chad and avoiding any kind of contact with him and looking worriedly at Jensen.
Jared tried not to be offended, but it was almost a losing battle. He was really really trying and Jensen was being impossible. Jared didn’t have to say two words to him, and this guy was just being a jerk, for no reason. No matter the unwritten rules of private high school politics, with a little of town/gown rules thrown in, Jensen didn’t have to be a total ass about this kind of thing.
Yet he was.
Jared decided to take great pains to ignore him, this couldn’t be worth it in anyway. This friendly thing was not working out. He could tell in just the few hours he had been trying.
By the time class ended Jared’s high resolve to be nice was dashed. He went about his history and his art class like he was actually a student. He was so over Jensen Ackles and his attitude.
Last period he had swimming. Michael Phelps had shown that huge guys with hands like paddles could excel at this sport so Jared had signed up, thinking that this was going to be an easy ‘A’.
What Jared did not consider was Jensen Ackles, in a tiny black Speedo. Jared lounged at the wall and watched Jensen take a dive.
Jared was impressed by the posture that Jensen had.
You’re thinking about his posture, Jared’s inner voice muttered. Can you stop being a goober for one second?
Jared sighed, because watching Jensen move in next to nothing was captivating. He could admit that. Dear sweet lord the man had abs that were perfect, legs that were charmingly bowlegged, and a mouth that made him think more about the whole gay sex thing.
Jared dove into the cold water.
He absolutely had to think of something else.
**
Jared knew he was staring, but his full attention was brought to it when Jensen huffed up next to him. Jared was in a towel; Jensen was still wet from the shower.
“Look,” Jensen said without preamble, “I know you know I’m gay. If you want to beat me up can you do it now? I’ve got a heavy course load and everything so I’d really rather deal with it now, as opposed to finals or midterms. Just for the record I’m not going to hit on you, and I’m not thinking about you naked when we shower. Just please get it over with.”
He doesn’t think of me in the shower? Disappointment came unbidden and from the recesses of Jared’s mind. That was when Jared realized that there was a very big part of him that wanted Jensen to be thinking of him as much as he thought of Jensen, which, only having been for a day was still quite a bit.
In high school years it was almost a century of pining. Hell, it was longer than his relationship with Hillarie Burton.
Jensen huffed off before Jared could think of anything to say.
**
Jared liked to plan out little exploits to amuse himself. He was easily bored and an excellent planner.
His parents were globetrotting heroes who were trying to save the earth, stop AIDS in third world countries, and end injustice everywhere and they had plenty of old money to fund their excursions.
Jared had asked nicely to go to private school because at the wise age of twelve he was sick and tired of being dragged all over the world. He wanted friends.
However, in those first twelve years he had learned something very important: how to amuse himself, how to see the world in his own way.
So he could come up with some great plans, which was why he had Chad. The first time he opened his mouth with one of these plans Chad’s jaw had dropped. They had been twelve and they had gotten in trouble. Jared had learned something important. Chad would do anything and Chad loved to do anything. From that moment on Chad was as much a part of his life as his toothbrush, and Jared loved his white pearly teeth.
In light of the trouble that they had gotten in the first time, Jared had learned in the last six years that a well-researched plan was so much better than one done on the fly.
So Jared opened his computer. Chad was out doing whatever it was that Chad did when he wasn’t around.
Jared knew how to research.
This research was a little different from usual, but research nonetheless. He opened his browser and typed in the URL for YouPornGay. He knew the abstract of what gay people did, but he wanted to see if it was something he could see himself doing.
He clicked on one of the videos that had decent looking guys; there were a shocking amount that featured people that he would never think about fucking. If he was going to do this then it was going to still live up to his standards.
Jared only did pretty.
He watched.
There was kissing. He could get the kissing. Kissing was kissing. He knew how to kiss, it was about adjusting it to the person you were with. Simple.
Then came nipples and stomachs. It was all very doable. Jared didn’t see the big deal in any of that.
Then out came the cocks. Jared tilted his head and looked. He really hadn’t really thought about a cock that wasn’t his. He had watched porn before, but he was usually focused on the girl parts. He looked at the dick and thought about it. He asked himself the very real question, ‘would you suck on that?’ Jared liked getting head; it was awesome. He had never thought about doing it.
He was intrigued and when he shifted he found he was a little turned on by the show he was watching.
Jared was always chewing on stuff, Sandy called it his oral fixation, and he always admired his own cock, which wasn’t really the same as giving head, but all the elements put together seemed to work for him and he was kinda into it.
Then came the fucking.
Jared blanched at the sight of something that size going into an asshole, because the very real implication was so much more. Something going into his ass freaked him out. He closed the computer screen abruptly.
Then he sat there, breathing hard. Thinking about why someone would possibly even consider that.
After a moment of heavy breathing his momentary panic was replaced by curiosity.
Jared was way too curious about life.
Idly he palmed his cock through his shorts. He was hard, but not in a demanding way. He thought about it. They were in high school; maybe the whole dick up the ass thing wouldn’t come up. If it did maybe he wouldn’t have to take it. Fucking just seemed like a big step.
Then he was brought back to curiosity. He thought about it and then decided to see, just see what happened.
He locked his door, praying that Chad would not come home. He found some lube on Chad’s side of the room, which he refused to think about. He knew Chad like lube instead of lotion like a real man, but he didn’t want to think about Chad jerking off. They had limits as friends. He stripped down to nothing and lay on his bed, sprawled out. He thought about it. He thought about sucking on another guy’s dick.
His own cock responded nicely to the thought of a good sixty-nine going. Jared sucked on his own fingers and just pictured having someone on top of him, a cock in his mouth. It actually turned him on. The thought of it was really hot.
Jared was pumping himself, really getting into this fantasy.
He opened the bottle of lube and coated his dick and his fingers.
He thought about it as he circled his own cock, pulling it, thinking about Jensen in his little Speedo. He felt his cock twitch in his hand.
So I’m not reading this wrong, his brain supplied as he heard himself moan.
He stroked himself, feeling his entire body get into it. Sweat pooled on the dips of his chest and Jared knew that he wasn’t totally adverse to this whole thing.
But his curiosity wanted one more little thing. Jared sighed, it was now or never.
In for a penny, in for a pound. He kept one hand on his dick and reached one lower, circling his asshole. It was strange, but his body seemed to like this idea. He pushed one finger in, thinking all the time of a guy with him.
The finger was odd; sticking his finger in his ass was kind of like sticking his finger in his ass. He didn’t quite get the initial appeal. If guys, and some girls, had been doing this for years then there had to be something to it. He breathed deeply and thought about the feeling. It was tight and hot and his dick seemed to approve. His dick seemed to want to be his finger.
He moved it around, exploring a little. He hit a spot in himself about an inch up that made his vision white out. He pulled on his dick and was lost to anything but the feeling of his fingers in his own ass, his hand on his dick. He came so hard that he thought that his head was going to explode.
Oh, okay. Went through his head as he continued to shake though it all.
**
He didn’t immediately tell Chad his plan. One day does not constitute redefining his sexuality. One day could have just been a fluke.
He did his early morning practice with the soccer team and ate breakfast with his friends. It was normal; he escorted Sandy to her class and made it to his in plenty of time. He sat down heavily next to Jensen.
Jared returned to his idea that he could be charming. He smiled widely at Jensen.
“Beautiful day,” Jared said.
You’re an idiot, his brain supplied.
Jensen grunted.
“I’m not going to beat you up dude,” Jared said earnestly. “You can try to be a decent human being.”
Jensen turned his entire body around to look at Jared and Jared was momentarily stunned.
I jerked off to him last night, Jared mind supplied. My mind grossly underestimated him. I wonder if there is porn about him. I would so watch it.
Jared begged his mind to shut off.
“Look,” Jensen told him. “I don’t want any trouble. I’m just going to try to get through this year without any of you jocks doing some lame ass threatening and throwing punches.”
“Dude, you need to chill on your issues,” Jared defended.
Jensen waved his hand and turned away as the teacher came in.
**
Jared thought about it a little more for the rest of the week. He thought about Jensen and his little plan to get Chad to have a date with the love of his life.
The soccer team traveled to one of the other private schools in the area for a game that weekend and Jared killed it. He was a god on the field.
On Monday he was a lower form of life in Jensen’s eyes. Which did not help his whole plan to get to know if the gay porn that he had watched was in any way accurate.
On Tuesday he tried to see if just by staring he could figure out what this strange obsession with Jensen was. At the end of the day he was still fascinated, horny, and very confused.
On Wednesday he decided to tell Chad his plan. Chad was usually all for anything.
“I’ve got a way you can date Sophia,” Jared informed him.
“Really?” Chad said perking up. “You found a guy for Jensen?”
“Yeah,” Jared nodded.
“Who?” Chad said eagerly.
“Me,” Jared replied.
Chad just stared at him. Then Chad smacked him.
“Not funny mocking my pain dude,” Chad said, deflating.
“I’m serious,” Jared told him. “I’ll go out with him.”
Chad looked at him through squinted eyes. “Since when are you gay?”
Jared shrugged as if this weren’t even a thing. “Never gave it that much thought about it. I don’t know, but seeing him in a Speedo every day is making me think that I wouldn’t be adverse to the idea.”
“Seriously?” Chad asked. “I talked to Sandy about how to get with Sophia. Screwing around with him isn’t enough. He hooks up with that Chris Kane guy in town, and that doesn’t count. You would have to date him--date him, like, publicly. Holding hands, dinner, that kind of shit.”
Chris Kane, five-eight, I could take him, Jared’s brain supplied happily. Jared tried to push that away as so not the point. He also tried to ignore the jolt of jealousy he was pretending not to understand.
“Could be interesting?” Jared said, “Why not, isn’t experimentation what high school is for?”
“That is college,” Chad reminded him. “High school is a time for bigotry and beating up anyone who is different.”
Jared shrugged. “I’ve always been ahead of the curve.”
Chad just stared, “Seriously, stop mocking me.”
Chad stormed off.
**
Jared spent the day trying to make small talk with Jensen. It went terribly. Jared began to think that the biggest hole in his plan was that Jensen did not seem to be at all interested. Which wasn’t fair. Jared could be charming and hot and Jensen just glared.
Jared really felt as if his classes this year were a little boring. Sure they were hard, but he was having trouble concentrating because in most of them Jensen was right fucking there and Jensen was a whole lot of distraction.
So Jared started a pro/con list.
He figured that a pro/con list would at least show Chad he was serious. If he couldn’t convince Chad that he would date Jensen it might be a little more difficult to convince Jensen that he wanted to date Jensen.
It turned out to be pretty much a pro list; Jared showed it to Chad proudly.
“Number four,” Chad read aloud. “Nobody is getting pregnant.”
Jared smiled, he was proud about that one.
“Number seven,” Chad said slowly. “Less height differential.”
Jared nodded, he could do big words, he was going to kill it on the SATs.
“Number eleven,” Chad said, his eyes growing squinter. “Can’t be worse than Alexis.”
Jared shrugged, not much could be worse than the three months that he had spent as Alexis’ boyfriend.
Chad threw the list at Jared, “Seriously, Jay-man, you do realize that you are thinking about a dude. You are talking about doing a dude. There would be a cock involved that isn’t yours.”
Jared considered this. “There is that. There is also the fact that he thinks that I’m going to beat him up and he might hate me without even knowing me. In fact, I might not like him either.”
Chad rolled his eyes. “This sounds like a terrible plan.”
Jared was shocked. Chad was always gung ho.
Chad thought for a long moment. Then he just nodded
“If you want to throw yourself on Jensen’s dick so I have a shot with Sophia I am good.” Chad announced. “This will at least be interesting. You can join me in Club Shot Down.”
“Your faith in me is awesome,” Jared muttered.
Chad just patted him on the arm, “Just think though, your hippie liberal parents will be so proud. You should call them. Tell them about this. They will adore the fact that their little private school child is so sexually flexible.”
Jared thought for a moment, “Maybe I’ll wait to see if, you know, Jensen would even consider this.”
Chad just started laughing, “This is going to be great.”
Part II: My Will To His Consent