FIC: There Is Healing (1/1)
Title: There Is Healing
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Amy/Zara
Spoilers: Key 2 Time
Summary: Zara cannot remember the day she was born.
Disclaimer: Me? Own Big Finish (and Doctor Who)? Nope.
Notes: Forced to write this by hoshinekoyasha. Blame her.
There Is Healing
Zara cannot remember the day she was born, created, whatever you wish to call it. That was stolen from her oh so long ago on Erratoon. She can barely remember the process she underwent for that to be the case. Though, she does remember the pain. Humans often refer to migraines and headaches as ‘having a vice clamped around their head’, and it was kind of like that, though a hundred times worse. It was also like there was a creature scurrying around in her head, tearing her scant (at the time, anyway) memories to shreds and gobbling them up like a ravenous lion.
That wasn’t justice. That was cruelty. And theft. Stealing away the one thing every feels secure in their ownership. Their identity.
Zara was terribly young the times it happened to her, and it was quite a long while ago now, yet still she can feel there is something missing. It was like having a word on the tip of your tongue, but however hard you try, you can never quite work out what you are trying desperately to think of. It drives Zara mad but there is absolutely nothing she can do to get those memories back. They are gone. For good. Forever.
She spends as much time as she can with Pargrave. Despite the fact his President had died, it hasn’t stopped his degeneration and it hurts Zara to see the man she loves dying slowly and painfully. She nurses him and refuses to leave his side until his final breath. Once he is gone, she has nothing left on Atrios for her anymore, so she heads to the one place she feels like she might still be welcome. Gallifrey.
Amy welcomes her with open arms, as a good sister should. She is sweet, enthusiastic and whole. Zara can’t help but hate her a little bit for that. She has been tainted for so long that she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Romana suggests she enrols in the Academy and Zara happily agrees to this. Romana, after all, is the Doctor’s friend and she holds many of the same beliefs as him. Zara isn’t the woman she was when she had just met Zinc, she understands morality now, and she credits Pargrave with that. She, after all, didn’t have the moral guidance that Amy had with the Doctor. She had to learn it the hard way, on her own. After having lost her identity so many times. Now, she’s willing to learn from the most powerful race in the Universe. Not powerful enough to reinstate her memories, though.
Both young women feel terribly lonely in the Academy. Despite Romana’s enthusiasm for integration and acceptance, the young Time Lords shun the pair. They’re not the same, they’re different. They’re inferior to every other being on the planet, apart from maybe that savage the Doctor dumped here. But she isn’t in the Academy, stealing their secrets, so it is different. They don’t belong. Neither explain their fears to Romana; she’s too busy trying to become President, these days.
It is Zara who initiates the gentle kissing. She feels better when she is around Amy, and even moreso when they share physical contact. It makes her feel like those secrets stripped away from her are that little bit closer. They go further and further, of course they do. They are two young women exploring the limitations of their bodies and the things that clever little fingers and even cleverer tongues can do. It makes Amy forget the sheer loneliness she feels on the planet and Zara feels more whole again. Zara wishes it can never end, but inevitably it always does. Amy’s touch is healing her, making her feel less angry at the fact she can’t remember where she came from.
And Amy’s stories about those first few minutes and the powers they once had always help, too.
end
Author: tromana
Rating: T
Characters: Amy/Zara
Spoilers: Key 2 Time
Summary: Zara cannot remember the day she was born.
Disclaimer: Me? Own Big Finish (and Doctor Who)? Nope.
Notes: Forced to write this by hoshinekoyasha. Blame her.
There Is Healing
Zara cannot remember the day she was born, created, whatever you wish to call it. That was stolen from her oh so long ago on Erratoon. She can barely remember the process she underwent for that to be the case. Though, she does remember the pain. Humans often refer to migraines and headaches as ‘having a vice clamped around their head’, and it was kind of like that, though a hundred times worse. It was also like there was a creature scurrying around in her head, tearing her scant (at the time, anyway) memories to shreds and gobbling them up like a ravenous lion.
That wasn’t justice. That was cruelty. And theft. Stealing away the one thing every feels secure in their ownership. Their identity.
Zara was terribly young the times it happened to her, and it was quite a long while ago now, yet still she can feel there is something missing. It was like having a word on the tip of your tongue, but however hard you try, you can never quite work out what you are trying desperately to think of. It drives Zara mad but there is absolutely nothing she can do to get those memories back. They are gone. For good. Forever.
She spends as much time as she can with Pargrave. Despite the fact his President had died, it hasn’t stopped his degeneration and it hurts Zara to see the man she loves dying slowly and painfully. She nurses him and refuses to leave his side until his final breath. Once he is gone, she has nothing left on Atrios for her anymore, so she heads to the one place she feels like she might still be welcome. Gallifrey.
Amy welcomes her with open arms, as a good sister should. She is sweet, enthusiastic and whole. Zara can’t help but hate her a little bit for that. She has been tainted for so long that she doesn’t know what to do with herself. Romana suggests she enrols in the Academy and Zara happily agrees to this. Romana, after all, is the Doctor’s friend and she holds many of the same beliefs as him. Zara isn’t the woman she was when she had just met Zinc, she understands morality now, and she credits Pargrave with that. She, after all, didn’t have the moral guidance that Amy had with the Doctor. She had to learn it the hard way, on her own. After having lost her identity so many times. Now, she’s willing to learn from the most powerful race in the Universe. Not powerful enough to reinstate her memories, though.
Both young women feel terribly lonely in the Academy. Despite Romana’s enthusiasm for integration and acceptance, the young Time Lords shun the pair. They’re not the same, they’re different. They’re inferior to every other being on the planet, apart from maybe that savage the Doctor dumped here. But she isn’t in the Academy, stealing their secrets, so it is different. They don’t belong. Neither explain their fears to Romana; she’s too busy trying to become President, these days.
It is Zara who initiates the gentle kissing. She feels better when she is around Amy, and even moreso when they share physical contact. It makes her feel like those secrets stripped away from her are that little bit closer. They go further and further, of course they do. They are two young women exploring the limitations of their bodies and the things that clever little fingers and even cleverer tongues can do. It makes Amy forget the sheer loneliness she feels on the planet and Zara feels more whole again. Zara wishes it can never end, but inevitably it always does. Amy’s touch is healing her, making her feel less angry at the fact she can’t remember where she came from.
And Amy’s stories about those first few minutes and the powers they once had always help, too.
end