A Lack of Options
A bunch of 100 word drabbles on the after-math of the Season 3 finale. I really hope that the Effy/Freddie/Cook (JJ) mayhem doesn’t drag on into Season 4, but honestly? Everything is supposed to be fixed in the final scene on the boat? Really? Ugh.
1.
Effy thought of Freddie, with his needy eyes, and mellow smile. She was significant to someone. Freddie had fallen in ‘love’ without actually ever talking to her. That was good?
Cook, and his bruised lips. She got nervous, twitchy. Wondered where he was, if he was hurting someone. She wondered if he was hurting. Sharing guilt didn’t make it lighter.
She thought about JJ. Effy felt protective. And vulnerable. JJ, who wasn’t supposed to ‘get’ things like this, had said he loved her too. Of the three, he’d sounded the most sincere.
Effy thought about Panda instead. That was simpler.
2.
Pandora didn’t know if she should call Effy, or wait for Effy to speak first.
Pandora wasn’t sure if she had her own friends, or if she only shared Effy’s.
Effy was her friend. Friends, for Pandora, was a serious business, a lifeline to normal (she knew she wasn’t.) Things like boys mustn’t affect them. This was more important. Even when she’d been surfing and turfing Cook, Effy had been more important, in some indefinable way that really should count.
They’d been back for three days. Effy’s mum said Effy needed friends. It would be easy to call.
Pandora didn’t.
3.
Cook’s face always seemed to be sore. His black eye was still tender, and he pressed the swollen tissue, hissing slightly as the pain flickered. Forehead against the mirror, it was just him, in his room. Nothing here.
Cold water helped a bit, numbed everything. Cook poked his cheek bone again, the pain sparking across his face.
Effy.
JJ could be here soon. Any second now, he could walk in. Or Cook could go find him, get distracted and fucked up.
Freddie wouldn’t be here soon. Cook couldn’t go find him. Freddie was fucking busy. Busy fucking. Busy fucking her.
4.
JJ had a phone, and knew how to use it. It sat in his hand. Things were fixed. Effy had chosen. They’d got back to Bristol. Freddie and Cook were talking. Cook knew how to lose. Freddie was a good winner. Things were better.
JJ didn’t know why he was still trying to choose. The game had ended.
Freddie had her. The idea of Effy belonging to anyone was impossible, but if anyone had her it was Freddie. So it made sense to ring Cook, because Cook didn’t have anyone right now.
It wasn’t choosing. It was logical. Game over.
5.
Cook was leaning on the wall up ahead. In the morning sunshine his face looked a tribute to fucked up late nights.
Thomas didn’t hate. Extreme emotions, like hate and love, Thomas was saving until he was older, and knew himself.
He intensely disliked Cook. Found him arrogant, irritating, presuming, and pointless. Cook’s supposed allure was a mystery to Thomas. The thought of Cook touching Panda made Thomas itch, made the muscles in his arms jump unexpectedly.
As he walked past Cook said nothing, eyes down, slightly broken these days. Thomas smiled ruefully, decided a coward’s apology was almost enough.
6.
Naomi frowned slightly as she answered, but this was only half a surprise.
“I have a problem.”
Effy never started a conversation as a normal person would do.
“He thinks he loves me.”
“Cook?”
“Freddie.”
Naomi tried not to sigh.
“Things have changed.”
“Not really.”
Naomi smiled faintly, let the silence stretch.
“He thinks I love him.”
“Oh? Why?”
“I told him.”
Naomi held the phone away from her ear, stared at it in disbelief.
“Do you?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe? Christ. And Cook?”
“Maybe.”
Naomi snorted.
“Choose, Effy.”
“I did. It didn’t work.”
“Then choose neither.”
“Mmm. You preaching self-restraint now?”
7.
Emily couldn’t quite believe that it was her love life that was simple these days.
Effy had arrived back in Bristol, still trailing boys and wounded pride, although a few roles had been reversed. Emily couldn’t imagine not recognising love, but clearly Effy was stuck. Stuck enough to ring Naomi, who was hardly renowned for being in touch with her feelings.
Emily worried about JJ, who was probably still caught in the middle, still trying to pretend things were fine.
Emily couldn’t decide if Effy held all the aces, or none of them. She wondered if Effy even knew.
8.
Honestly?
She really didn’t care.
Emily said it was complicated, and sure, she got that. But Emily hadn’t explained what this had to do with her.
Effy wanted both. And so, drama-rama, everything had to stop while Princess Effy decided. Katie couldn’t understand why her friends actually cared about the outcome.
Sometimes Katie wondered whether the whole rock incident had been a hallucination. Only halfway through summer, and the world danced to Effy’s tune again.
Apparently only Katie realised Effy was never going to pick one. Effy loved the attention. So Katie wasn’t going to pay any attention. Stupid cow.
9.
“When you talk about love, what exactly do you mean?”
Effy’s eyes were big and wide and ultimately indecipherable. Freddie could have sworn that eyes were supposed to be a window to the soul, he remembered hearing something about that in an English Literature class. Effy’s eyes always looked empty to him.
“You told me you loved me once.”
And this was true, he didn’t imagine it.
“Yeah. And I always swallowed for Cook. It meant the same thing.”
At this point Freddie left. Effy watched the closed door for a while, wondering if it mattered whether he came back.