"i know it sounds absurd - but please tell me who i am"

[trippinoutlaw]

ah holy hell....i guess ill attempt to post something of consequence.  Still it seems that constant stream has dwindled or dried up.  Those words which use to spin around the moments of my life as they transpired seem choked back, or even worse - nonexistent.  I mean how long can i blame a lack of excitement for my distracted emptiness

Comments

[lil_msblasphemy]

You'll feel comfortable somewhere in life, one day. Being sober isn't so bad, is it? I wouldn't know too well, but maybe one day, yes?

[trippinoutlaw]

I figure i actually have to give this a fair shake to give reality a chance to bequeath some comfort....so often ive let the terrible aftermath be excuse enough to cash in the chips before my luck could turn.
Being sober actually feels better this time around - better than i can ever remember it being. And having put on 30lbs and still being only 145 and in great shape (thanks to running 3.5 miles daily and weight lifting) - makes me realize just how emaciated and skeletal i'd become - so i'm enjoying even being able to run again....let alone look healthy...
So there are some things. - and not too mention being able to recall the events which happen to me during my life - being able to read a book - and remember what i'd read the next time i pick it up....so yah know - i try to enjoy these things.