They say that trip to Russia is extreme. Could that be true?)
Instruction: Ministry of Foreign Affairs to English football fan.
Before going to Russia make a detailed will. You better buy a beacon, so they could find you. And better swallow it.
Russia is absolutely safe, if you move in groups of 40 000 people accompanied by the police, tanks and air forces.
Beware of football fans. If you see any - run to the police. If the policeman is a fan himself, nothing will save you.
For your security you better change appearance and look like a policeman. And better like a mounted one. And even better like a policeman’s horse.
Try not to show that you’re English. Don’t ask locals if they speak English. Ask if they speak Russian at least.
Moscow is a city for tourists. They take all the money from tourist in two days.
If you try to catch a taxi and something rattling and falling apart comes from the dark - that’s the taxi. Don’t be surprised if Russian driver asks you the way. It’s unlikely that you understand each other, even if you knew Russian. For the traffic jam* he will ask more than you’ve agreed. He’ll cry for compassion. And still will be unsatisfied even if you pay twice more. *Every red traffic light is considered to be a jam.
If you wish to watch the game safely, buy a Russian team scarf and go to Russian sector of the stadium. Don’t forget to support Russia.
We wish you good journey.
Farewell!
Yours, Ministry of Foreign Affairs
17.10.2007
originally written by oleg_kozyrev
Before going to Russia make a detailed will. You better buy a beacon, so they could find you. And better swallow it.
Russia is absolutely safe, if you move in groups of 40 000 people accompanied by the police, tanks and air forces.
Beware of football fans. If you see any - run to the police. If the policeman is a fan himself, nothing will save you.
For your security you better change appearance and look like a policeman. And better like a mounted one. And even better like a policeman’s horse.
Try not to show that you’re English. Don’t ask locals if they speak English. Ask if they speak Russian at least.
Moscow is a city for tourists. They take all the money from tourist in two days.
If you try to catch a taxi and something rattling and falling apart comes from the dark - that’s the taxi. Don’t be surprised if Russian driver asks you the way. It’s unlikely that you understand each other, even if you knew Russian. For the traffic jam* he will ask more than you’ve agreed. He’ll cry for compassion. And still will be unsatisfied even if you pay twice more. *Every red traffic light is considered to be a jam.
If you wish to watch the game safely, buy a Russian team scarf and go to Russian sector of the stadium. Don’t forget to support Russia.
We wish you good journey.
Farewell!
Yours, Ministry of Foreign Affairs
17.10.2007
originally written by oleg_kozyrev