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[trinsy_fics]

I always think about my dad in May.  May is when he moved out, and for some reason ever since I was nine and noted the one year anniversary, I've always counted up the years in my head -- one year, three years, seven years now -- like it somehow makes a difference.  But I've been thinking my dad more often this May because this year it's the ten

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[builtofsorrow]

This might sound kind of weird, but I kind of envy you, because this is so much of what I feel too, but I feel like I don't have the right to feel this way the way you do, 'cause he was around more when I was a kid (but that doesn't mean I really remember it).

I don't know.

I wish I didn't feel so guilty, because everything you wrote in that last paragraph is so, so true, and maybe I'm just too worried about what other people think of me.

[trinsy_fics]

I know what you mean about being worried what people think of you. That's kind of what I meant when I was talking about getting looks from people. The thing is, it's so hard to know until you're there, and I think people who have great relationships with both their parents view choosing not to have a relationship with one horrifying because they can't understand it. I was reading previous posts I've made about Dad, and in one of them I talk about how I can't think about God as a father, and how a girl in my Bible study told me it was because I didn't realise how good God could be, and I wanted to reply, "No, you don't realise how bad fathers can be