Position Number 5
Title: Position Number 5
Author: darkentwisted
Characters/Pairings: Much/Allan, Kate, Tuck
Rating: R
Genre: crack, slash
Words: 412
Disclaimer: BBC & TA own; we just want to play in their universe
Notes: Written for WAR2009 but since I am 'hors concours' It will not be included in voting.
Summary: Kate finds an embarrasing reminder of Allan's misspent past.
Just like a Johnson and Johnson rectal thermometer, this fic has been personally tested and sanitized for your protection by wastingyourgum and robinfanatic
"Allan!" Kate sounded shrill and angry. She stormed up to the cheeky outlaw and dropped a heavy book at his feet.
"Wot I do now?" Allan looked up at the female outlaw, her arms crossed.
"You know what! That book is filled with filthy pictures...of you!"
"What?!" Much sputtered in disbelief.
"Yes!" Kate continued. "I found it with Tuck's things when I was cleaning. Not only is he a pervert but to plant it on a friar...!"
Allan tried to calm the maiden down as Much thumbed through the tome, his eyes widening at every page. It showed a figure that bore an uncanny resemblance to their fellow outlaw in various risqué poses with unidentified women.
The trickster tried to explain. "I was young and desperate for the money. I ran into some nuns and they paid me to..."
"You expect me to think nuns put you up to... that!" Kate blew back her bangs in frustration. "Allan A'Dale! Blaming nuns for your debauchery! I should..."
Tuck walked by hearing the heated conversation. He looked at the book in Much's hands. "What are you doing with my newly-wed primer?"
"You know about this...this...filth!" Kate was in full rant.
"It is not filth, young lady," the monk carefully explained. "It is a pillow book for young couples about to be married."
"You mean it tells people how to have sex?" Kate was beside herself with astonishment.
"No." Tuck finished, "It shows them how to avoid doing it wrong."
The sound of the other outlaws' sudden laughter caused Allan's face to turn red as he dashed out of the camp.
Much caught up with the poacher as he kicked around the outer edges of the forest.
"Come to gloat some more?" Allan asked as he wiped his eyes and looked away.
"No." Much pouted, "I was..."
"Wot? Wantin' to laugh at me some more? Make me the butt of the joke fer once?"
"No!" Much said emphatically.
"Well, not bein' funny, but why are you here, Much?"
"Well I..."
Allan was getting irritated. "Spill it!"
Much looked up and his cheeks reddened. "I was hoping you would demonstrate position number five...on me.
Allan smiled gratefully, swept the former servant's cap from his head, then he kissed him. "Awww mate! All ya had to do was ask!"
He happily dropped to his knees and began.