Why Making Out Under a Waterfall of Smelly Water Is Not Sexy, or, An Introduction to Fire Sprinklers

[trascendenza]

I like "here's the information you need to write about [x]" guides, so I figured since I've been working with this stuff for awhile I could shed some light on it. If you've ever thought about featuring one in your story, here are some things you might want to keep in mind

Comments

[xenokattz]

Okay, this has almost eclipsed "swimming pool" and "Eden-esque pond" as the worst place to have sex. It definitely beat out the beach. Have you read this or this?

[trascendenza]

Definitely beats out the beach. I feel bad for sprinkler fitters who have to deal with that water all the time; they use buckets, but buckets don't contain smell, bleeeech.

*clicks*

"So... it goes right in his ass, then."
AHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, God, that was priceless. PRICELESS.

[go_gentle]

2. No. No it is not. It will ruin your shit and you will never get the smell out.

3. But if you set one off on the top floor, the water will flow down through the building in a torrent of gross. Especially fun when the pipes (and hence the holes in the floor, and hence the water) go through your closet with all your clothes!

4. Yes. Yes they do.

...and I thought I had gotten over the grudge against the people who loved on the top floor of my dorm freshman year!

[trascendenza]

2. I am so, so glad this hasn't happened to me. I haven't lived in a place with sprinkler system, but I kind of worry about it, like, how could I ever protect all my stuff from getting SMELLY and DISGUSTING if there was ever a reason for one of the heads to discharge?

3. Eeeeeew.

*gives you a comforting pat on the shoulder* People like that are unfortunate accidents of existence.

[twincy]

a reason for one of the heads to discharge
*snorts inappropriately in manner of 12-year-old*

[trascendenza]

*snorts inappropriately in manner of 12-year-old*
ahahaha, you have no idea, man! at the office they're always talking about nipples, and the male end of a hose screwing into the female end, and really, it's all so ridiculously sexual that i don't know how anyone could have thought such terms were a *good* idea.

[melissasdavid]

dude remind me that if I ever procrate again which I doubt, it will not be under a sprinkler system, OMFG on a stick. That said I think Ill be staying away from banging in water in general cuz even if you fuck in a lake or whatever,. wouldnt you think there'd be mad little amoebas or whatever swimming in your vagina? Gross.

Love you!

[trascendenza]

wouldnt you think there'd be mad little amoebas or whatever swimming in your vagina?
AHAHAHAHA, thank you for the gift of that beautiful, beautiful image.

Love you, too! <333 If you're ever out here for the holidays again you gotta hit me up, dude.

[kaizoku]

How much do I want you to write "take your fandom to work" fic now????

[trascendenza]

A lot, I hope! Hee! Where would you be taking your fandom to?