[fic] Screw Destiny 8
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.
Rating: T
Summary: Naruto hated bastards with the passion of a thousand suns. Too bad that his new partner is a combination of all that. NaruSasu, AU.
Notes:
Not much to say about this; this was bet'd (and made more readable) by Alley-Oop.
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Sometimes waking up from a dream is a quick, abrupt process that rips you out of your fancy, pretend-world and-- with tremendous fear clawing at your heart -- you find yourself gasping for breath and clutching the sweat-drenched pyjama shirt sticking ruefully to your skin.
At other times, it's a more gradual process: you hear voices floating in and out of your brain, are aware of the sunlight peeking in through the curtained windows and are enshrouded by that state of semi-consciousness - that, like a cloud, wraps itself around you. It's like drowning, but you're not dying - but slowly resurfacing from the depths of the sea. You hear, yet don't hear; see, yet don't see; and are here, but not here. It's like being in a semi-trance: everything seems vague and blurred. Everything seems better and more hopeful as well.
Naruto was in that half-dazed, half-asleep state. He knew that it was no longer night and that the birds were already twittering and fluttering outside, even though it was raining. He could hear the rain pattering on the roof, the sound of water droplets hitting the windowsill and the droning of the all too potent thunder. A storm was approaching.
Yet, his eyes were still closed. He didn't feel like opening them right now, lest something evil was approaching. He had learned at an early age that, sometimes, it was better not to wake up - not every awakening brought pleasant consequences along with it.
Indeed, most of the time, it was better not to wake up at all.
He could still remember- and probably would never forget- the morning his parents had passed away. He would never forget how the message had crashed upon him like a thunderbolt and altered his life in a matter of milliseconds. In one second- in another lifetime- he had been Naruto Uzumaki, the son of two very awesome and highly accomplished people, and- in another awful, perverse mood of fate -he had been reduced to an orphan. You couldn’t say that this had been a reason to rejoice; it had been worse than death.
Therefore, Naruto didn't want to wake up, but pretend that he was still engulfed by the reassuring indulgence of sleep.
Slowly, however, his eyes blinked and, after some minutes, opened wide- it was a shocking awakening. Naruto had no idea where he was because, wherever this room was, it didn't belong to him. He didn't recall having such whitewashed walls, or such a hard mattress. This was a neat room, not his pencil-littered, messy one. He wouldn't have ever managed to maintain such flawless order and organization. What perturbed him the most, though, was the fact that he was stark naked, only covered by thin sheets. There were also other details about his state that shouldn't necessarily be recounted, but they made Naruto feel more than just horrified; he was frantic and nearly maddened with confusion.
“Shit,” Naruto whispered, trying to sit up in the bed; he was having trouble figuring out what had happened, as his brain was still a pell-mell of trance- like sensations and vague recollections. He had been dealing with too many things lately.
Please not again.
This wouldn't have been the first time that he had woken up under such mysterious circumstances. When Kiba had accused him of screwing around, he hadn't been wrong: Naruto had been through experiences that were more than questionable. Yet, now, he was freaked out because there was no sign of a condom anywhere and this wasn't what he needed now. Contracting STDs was not something Naruto was really wild about. Then again, this couldn't be what it looked like. He hadn't been anything close to remotely drunk.
Something in the back of his mind nagged that this wasn't a usual circumstance, but as of yet, Naruto was still too light-headed to realize what had happened. But his brain was slowly gaining light of the situation and comprehension was starting to sink in.
Images and memories came crashing down upon him; the events of the past two days rolled over him like a steam engine intent on breaking some world record. He had been researching on Sasuke's family, found out more about his creepy-slash-stalker brother, and finally confronted the peevish bastard himself. Sasuke had been reluctant to talk and Naruto, in spite of everything, had still felt pushed back. But he hadn't given up.
Bastard, Naruto thought. He just likes to live difficultly.
And, somewhere along the line, he had slept with Sasuke. The memories of last night rendered Naruto to feeling sheepishly stupid and his stomach fluttered. He blushed as well. He couldn't make out whether it had been a dream, some sort of hallucination, or reality. It was hard to figure that out.
The place next to Naruto's side was empty; merely the slightly sunken in cushion implied that someone had been there. Of course, it had been Sasuke, and it was with a great feeling of disappointment that Naruto digested that fact. As often as he'd woken up alone before in a similar situation, this was the first time he felt hurt, even used.
He might have only done this to forget.
Naruto's next actions weren't as idle and lazy as they had been before. In a sickening frenzy, he leapt out of bed and put on his clothes in a hasty manner, intent on finding out where Sasuke was.
He couldn't keep the nausea from affecting his mood. If Sasuke had left, then this wasn't a good sign at all. In spite of Sasuke's consolation during the night before, he had really made a mistake. He had to find out what had happened. If Sasuke was gone, he would find a way to trace him. He had sworn to never let go of Sasuke, hadn't he?
...
Sasuke, to his innermost surprise and relief, wasn't gone. Had he really been gone, Naruto would have probably run out of the apartment block and searched for him everywhere. He wouldn't have rested his aching limbs for a second. He was too foregone to have simply let Sasuke go.
However, the point in being was that Sasuke wasn't gone, but here: he hadn't just up and left.
In fact, Sasuke was sitting on a stool over a cup of steaming coffee, immersed in what seemed to be a newspaper article. It looked so oddly domestic and -well- normal that Naruto had to suck in his breath - he still had difficulty digesting that Sasuke could be as relaxed and remotely carefree as anyone else.
For the span of a few minutes, he just stared at Sasuke flicking through the pages and leaning his head against his left elbow. The feeling of nausea and anxiety that had been forming inside of his stomach was gone. Naruto was endlessly relieved.
When Naruto, out of breath and trembling nervously, entered the kitchen, Sasuke looked up and wordlessly signaled for him to take a seat. He didn't look dramatically different. In spite of all, he was still the same frustrating, disgruntled, and proud-looking man he had always been. Naruto couldn't help feeling a teeny bit disappointed. He had always thought that sex changed people, but he might have been mistaken. In retrospect, it hadn't changed him dramatically either. And he'd done it often enough- sex had not made him any wiser.
Still, this time it did feel different. Something about this morning after was out of the norm.
It's the first time I've really- whatever. I've never really stayed... This is awkward, man.
Observing the whitewashed walls of Sasuke's kitchen with acute interest, Naruto tried to come up with a decent greeting, but his words failed him. He found himself tongue-tied, like he had been engaged in some philosophical debate lasting from sunrise till sunset.
After a while, he attempted: “Sasuke. It's good you're here. I thought you had... Not important.”
“You thought I had left?” Sasuke asked non committally, even though it was more of a statement than an inquiry. He was no longer looking at Naruto, but flipping through the pages of the newspaper and frowning. Apparently, he didn't like what he was reading, and Naruto found it oddly endearing. Sasuke's slight frown of disapproval was both childish and still so very much him.
“No - Yes. I just don't know-” Naruto started, but he couldn't find the right words. His thoughts were still jumbled and a messy array of self-doubting, contradictory emotions.
“What's going in my head?” Sasuke asked.
Naruto simply nodded, thinking that this was the best way to convey his feelings. He knew that Sasuke wasn't offended in the least. Besides, there was another question on his mind, far more important than anything else. As hard as it was to reconcile the image of a moaning, sweating Sasuke with the one facing him, it hadn't been a dream. At least, Naruto hoped so.
“You don't regret what we did last night, Sasuke, do you?”
Sasuke's eyes met his own again, this time carefully looking at Naruto's worried and anxious face. He sighed and, tossing the paper into the nearby dustbin, rather unabashedly asked: “Do you?”
Naruto nearly gasped in shock. This hadn't been the retort he had been expecting. He had expected Sasuke to either remain quiet, burst out into a furious soliloquy, or deny that anything had ever happened. Yet, this was not what he had thought possible. Sasuke wasn't quite as readable as he had thought. In some way, Naruto liked that. It made life more interesting. However, at present, he was more confused and doubting.
He's not supposed to be the one asking that. I'm not the one who's been running away all this time!
“That's not what I asked you!” Naruto protested, wanting to know what Sasuke was playing at and demanded once more: “Do you regret it? Say either yes or no, bastard.”
He needed to know before they returned to the headquarters; this was more pressing than anything else.
This is no longer just about us being partners. Not just about Itachi.
“No, I don't. But if you keep referring to me as ‘bastard’, I will.”
Naruto couldn't keep the grin from appearing on his face, even though there wasn't anything remotely funny in Sasuke's remark. Notwithstanding, he was happy because, as infuriating as Sasuke's answer was, it hadn't been a rejection, but an approval.
At least he's still himself.
Indeed, Sasuke was just being bitchy as usual and Naruto was indignant. At the same time, something inside of him was glad that this aspect of their relationship hadn't faded away. They were still capable of ruffling each other's feathers like two spoiled brats. Naruto was relieved. This felt like old times before Itachi had invaded. He decided to play along.
“Then you should stop calling me, I quote: ‘moron,’ ‘dumbass,’ ‘idiot,’ and the other charming names you've tossed at me. It's only fair, Sasuke.”
“Well, unlike me, you deserve the nicknames,” Sasuke answered, as if were a well-known fact that couldn't be refuted against. Naruto felt like slapping him or kissing the hell out of him. He had to be losing his mind.
“See, that's why I can't stop calling you a b-”
Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto's hand and silenced him with a chaste kiss on his lips. It was swift and barely noticeable - just a ghost of a kiss. Naruto shuddered at the contact; the memories of how Sasuke had felt the night before were assaulting him again, making figurative butterflies flutter in his stomach. He was electrified. He wanted to deepen the kiss and pull Sasuke closer, but the other had broken the contact before he could even register what had occurred. Sasuke had become extremely good at cutting him off.
Soon, he'll have me wrapped around that finger of his. He knows it as well as I do.
Sasuke's voice was oddly gentle and not reproachful when he spoke- he sounded nearly tranquil and happy. However, Naruto wasn't fooled. He knew that as long as Itachi roamed about, Sasuke wouldn't ever be quite peaceful.
“Don't call me that, Naruto. And I won't call you idiot- unless you do something stupid again. Now get ready or we'll be late.”
Naruto felt they should have talked about last night's events, but he was too happy for the present. Or, better said, he just didn't want to think about it. He hadn't digested the fruits of his so-called research yet. In fact, as confident and secure as he had felt when he had confronted Sasuke, Naruto now doubted whether any of it was true: he may have gotten carried away in the heat of the moment. Indeed, he might have just grasped at any loopholes he could find.
But now, he just wanted to forget.
----------
There is this existing cliché of people being able to discern or detect a difference in a person after said individual got laid. Well, in Sasuke's case, Naruto was glad to observe that no one in the office seemed to have realized anything. Nonetheless, perhaps, Sasuke was an exception. He wasn't like the common brand of men; his emotions were so well sealed that to thrust them to the scrutiny of the public was an impossible task. Unless, of course, you were called Itachi. Or Naruto Uzumaki.
In contrast to that, everybody seemed to realize that something had happened to Naruto. He was just like an open book and, amongst knowing smiles from his colleagues, Naruto was shocked to see Shikamaru approach him while he was photocopying one of Sasuke's reports. He hoped that it would just be another of his friend's usual jabs. But this wasn't the case. Shikamaru looked serious and worried while he was speaking.
“I'm surprised you weren't late this time. I'd thought that your research last night would have made you sleep longer than usual. What did you look for?”
“Ah, just some things,” Naruto answered, hoping that this would be a sufficient hint.
Shikamaru furrowed an eyebrow. Naruto felt like slapping himself. He should have remembered that Shikamaru, among his genius for strategies, was pretty good at reading people- especially him. He had never been able to lie to Shikamaru and should have just told him it was none of his business. Shikamaru was anything but obtrusive and would have hardly been offended. Or at least pretended not to be.
“You know, it's not my style to inquire after other people's habits, but...you're my friend, Naruto. And you've been acting weird, lately.”
Naruto knew Shikamaru had good intentions; he knew that he could have trusted him or Chouji with his life. However, he just didn't want them dragged into this mess. It wasn't their burden to carry and Sasuke wouldn't have appreciated it.
“Please not you too. I'm starting to getting fed up with everyone behaving as if I'm going to crack soon. Do I seem depressed you?”
“No, but-”
“Then just don't ask that many questions. It's troublesome.”
Shikamaru was puzzled for a moment and then finally answered: “Isn't that supposed to be my line?”
Naruto clapped Shikamaru good-naturedly on the shoulder and assured him: “Look if anything happens- really happens -I'll tell you. Just don't break your heart over little ol' me.”
Shikamaru snorted and shook his head. “Now that would really be troublesome.”
Naruto laughed in return.
---------------
The sun burned obstinately onto Naruto's frame while he sat with his elbows pressed against both his knees on the hard wooden surface of the shaky bench. It was a cruelly hot day, and the sunlight nearly seemed to burn through his skin like a blade. His head throbbed painfully. Any more of it and Naruto felt sure he would explode. It wasn't just that he had a searing headache, but he felt that his tête was like a heavy, squishy watermelon. Whatever it was, Naruto just didn't feel good.
He had come here to get some fresh air - the oppressiveness and dullness of the office had been choking him. Sasuke hadn't wanted to come along, so Naruto had been forced to go alone.
What if he's regretting it, after all? Or am I being too paranoid about all this?
However, Naruto was somewhat relieved he was on his own. Like this, overzealous colleagues or the shadow of Sasuke looming over his head didn’t constantly pester him - it was good to have some sort of distance once in a while.
Yet, when the bench creaked under the weight of another person, Naruto promptly looked up. However, his pleased, even hopeful features fell to a hateful scorn when he perceived whom the individual was. But he was less surprised than he had been in the previous encounters- this had nearly become something of a jolly tradition. Not everyone could claim to be acquainted with a murderer, least of all with such a charming and well-composed one.
Itachi Uchiha was a mystery and each and every time Naruto tried to make sense out of him, his wits failed him.
“Ah. You want to talk to me again, right?” Naruto asked without allowing any of his emotions to pass through his lips. He wasn't going to betray how much the man made the blood in veins come to a chill. If he showed any weakness now, he had no idea what would happen next.
“It's good you were with Sasuke yesterday. He's a foolish boy; he needs someone to guide him.”
Naruto snorted and coldly replied, “What he needs is for you to be dead.”
He could still remember the dull thud of the bullet falling to the ground from the night before; it made him sick to think that it hadn't hit and torn Itachi's flesh asunder. This was the only thing he truly deserved, apart from being ripped to shreds by the Devil himself.
“That might happen soon enough. You never know,” Itachi said quietly and calmly; he sounded nearly vulnerable.
Naruto looked up - his comprehension of the man's words had again flowed down the drain- he had no idea what Itachi was talking about. Perhaps, he thought, the burning sun and the dull, lazy murmur of the day was getting to him. Itachi was either cracking or trying to screw with his head.
“Can't you just once be straightforward? You talk in riddles. I can't figure you out. Why do you always come to me, anyway?” Naruto asked, though he knew very well that Itachi wouldn't provide him with the answers he needed. In that aspect, he was very much like Sasuke - complicated, stubborn and a tough nut to crack. But where Sasuke was explosive and emotional, Itachi was resilient and nearly patient, peaceful.
“Because you're what he needs.”
“What do you-?”
“I've known you for a long time, Naruto. I've known you since that night I saw you at the hospital. When you were...”
Don't continue, please don't.
“Shut up. So you were the one - you shot my parents under the bastard's orders?” Naruto asked carefully, hesitantly. His throat felt dry and the nausea- in other words, bile - was rising upwards again. His stomach churned, his hands shook and the headache increased a manifold; his heart jolted sickeningly inside of his chest, as if eager to escape or harden itself against the immediate shock.
Itachi nodded and, for a moment, the world stopped.
Naruto felt the entire horror of that night collapsing on him again, only more painful and acute.
“I was the one who killed Orochimaru as well.”
“Why-?” Naruto asked, flabbergasted, trying to regain some sort of control over his shaking and shuddering body.
“He was no longer of use,” came the vague, mechanically uttered reply. Now, the painstakingly perfect method of Itachi's homicide returned full-throttle into Naruto's mind. It had been the perfect murder and in its ruthlessness, he now realized that only Sasuke's brother could have been the one. Because it had been all too perfect, too coincidental.
“Do you like doing this? Playing these sick games with Sasuke and -now- me? I won't let you break him anymore.”
And you won't break me either.
Itachi just continued to stare at Naruto. His eyes - so similar, yet different from Sasuke's- sent chills of fear down Naruto's spine because for the first time it wasn't just detachedness Naruto was looking at. Itachi's eyes, it seemed, were sad, wistful, and there seemed to be an age-old despair there, like he had been through a thousand wars. Those weren't the eyes of a young man, but a wretched, tired old soul.
“And yet, what I don't understand is why you didn't kill him? Why did you tell me what he intended to do?”
Naruto was in full cop modus now; he had to break through Itachi's seemingly impenetrable barrier because, otherwise, neither he nor Sasuke would ever find any peace.
There was something obscenely sickening in chatting with Itachi so casually in the park. The sound of traffic, children laughing, and the bees buzzing in the air was incredibly surrealistic. Cool night air, the chill of a winter, or the stormy blows of a thunderstorm would have been more fitting - the scenery at the moment was way too tranquil, too perfect.
Naruto wasn't sure whether he wanted to cry, laugh, or strike Itachi dead.
Itachi finally spoke, his voice eerily soft and his face wore a nearly sad smile.
“My brother was always a fool, now and then. Killing him was never what I had in mind.”
Before Naruto fully comprehended the full implication of what Itachi could have- might have -meant, it was already too late. Itachi, with the speed of light and the quietness of a mouse, had slithered away, run off, and Naruto was too shell-shocked to follow. The weight of the words kept him bound to the bench like invisible shackles.
...
Naruto let his head rest between his folded hands; he was sweating profusely and the rushing back to the office hadn't done much to remedy that. He had wanted to skip work, but thought that it wouldn't have been the wisest move. As it was, he had caused more than enough trouble in the past few months. Tsunade would murder him as well. So, he stayed and was glad that Sasuke, silent as always, didn't bombard him with questions.
Naruto was at home, trying desperately to bring some sort of order into his home; cleaning up kept him from thinking, cogitating over depressing memories that- like ice-cold rain- soaked him wet. He didn't want to recall Itachi's words, least of all focus on his parents' deaths. It had happened years ago. He had cried, poured out his tears till none were left and, for years, Naruto had been empty. Now, he felt like everything was hitting him full-force in the face again.
A loud knock at the door didn't cheer him up, although Naruto was earnestly puzzled. It couldn't be Sakura, as she had resolved to spend time with Lee, since he had returned from doing whatever he did. Naruto couldn't really remember- the sound of her ecstatic voice over the phone had been more like background music. To his amazement, it was Kakashi, the man who still confused him more than anything. As always, Kakashi came straight to the point, but not before he had sat down on the sofa and motioned Naruto to follow him. Naruto gulped.
Whatever it is, please don't let it be about Sasuke.
“I took the liberty of finding out who Sasuke is.”
Shit.
“Why would you do that?” Naruto asked, horrified and thinking that Kakashi had finally lost it. Sasuke wasn't a criminal; there was no reason to probe about his personal files.
“Because admit it or not, something is going on here,” Kakashi said, looking Naruto deeply in the eye. It was unsettling.
Naruto was about to protest when Kakashi's not-covered eye widened, and he found himself slapped on the back. Needless to say, Naruto had no idea what that was about and stared at Kakashi like he had truly lost his marbles.
“Ah, so you've found someone! That explains everything.”
“What?” Naruto asked, leaning further back against the couch and looking for a way to evade the painful discussion. He knew that whatever Kakashi was going to say next was only going to confuse him further.
“You got laid! That's fantastic news. Now, who is she?”
Okay, I'm confused. How did we go from Sasuke to- Ah, never mind.
Naruto coughed discreetly and pretended that the wall was a very interesting artifact. He was a bad liar and wouldn't be able to come up with anything good. He would never fool Kakashi. Ever.
“Kakashi, you see - it's kinda...”
I'm hopeless.
“So, it's a he?”
“... Yes.”
“So what is he like? Someone interesting?”
“Err...I don't know. Quiet and ... it's not important.”
Kakashi was silent for a moment, but then his features gained that knowing look -- he had put two and two together. Naruto felt like running away; this wasn't going to end well. Kakashi drew closer to Naruto and then, a slight tone of irritation mingled in his voice, inquired: “You're not telling me that you slept with Sasuke?”
“Kakashi... That's not- Well, what if I did?”
Kakashi sighed audibly and slapped Naruto on the forehead, earning a yelp from the younger man. Kakashi still managed to make him feel like an idiot, in spite of the years he had known the man. Kakashi leaned back against the couch and, rolling his uncovered eye, shook his head and started his usual rant. Naruto wanted to hit something.
“What did I tell you about getting sexually involved with someone at work? Maa, you didn't learn anything, idiot. It only leads to trouble.”
Naruto wanted to scream. Of all things, this was the worst. He knew what would follow now: a stupid lecture from Kakashi's repertoire of wisdom on life. It was infuriating; he wasn’t a kid anymore!
“Well, I couldn't really help- It's complicated.”
“I'm starting to believe that anything that involves this Uchiha boy of yours is complicated.”
You hit the nail on head, Kakashi. Damn him, why is he that perceptive?
“Look...”
But Kakashi shut him up by snapping with his fingers. He wasn't the type of person that liked explanations.
“Naruto, think about it from this point of view. Jiraiya fell in love with Tsunade, and look what it led him to. Why, he's so terrified of her, he even gave up on his job!”
“But he was writing porn. I don't see how he's suffering under that.”
Naruto failed to understand the connection. Jiraiya seemed perfectly happy. But Kakashi didn't answer and continued. “He's spent the last two weeks sleeping at my house. Anyhow, Naruto. Sasuke Uchiha... He has a rather interesting family history. His brother, Itachi Uchiha...”
“…Was the thirteen-year-old genius kid who killed his parents. I know that.”
“Do you also know that he worked under Orochimaru? At least for a while?”
Naruto swallowed that piece of information, but it didn't shock him anymore - it only confirmed a few things. He now knew for certain.
“No, I didn't know that. But I know he killed my parents. And that he was the one responsible for that bastard's death.”
“Naruto, promise me you're not going to do anything stupid. This isn't a game! Sasuke seems to have only one thing in mind-”
“I know that as well, Kakashi. I know that.”
“And you still got close to him? You allowed yourself to get involved with him?”
It sounded like a reproach to Naruto's ears and he let the question run through his brain. Yes, he had gotten involved with Sasuke. Even though he had been pushed away a countless number of times, he had gotten involved, in spite of everything. And he didn't regret it for a minute.
“What was I supposed to do, Kakashi? Just sit back and watch?”
“That might have been better. You can't always play the hero, Naruto.”
Naruto rose from his sitting place and frantically walked to and fro in the room. Then, he faced Kakashi again. He had to make him understand.
“Tell me honestly: When my parents - my father- died, didn't you want to ... avenge him? Were you really content to just sit back and wait for fate to intervene?” Naruto vented, feeling the nausea rise in him again. “Were you happy to know that the fuckwit who killed him was alive ... and not - I...”
“Calm down, Naruto. You might not understand, but as I told you before, revenge isn't a solution. It only fosters hate and bitterness. And you don't gain anything in return. Nothing.”
The “nothing” had been spoken with perfect audibility in a bitter, hateful tone. Kakashi wasn't an emotional man, but he was not impossible to read either. Looking into his face- the one good eye sadly downcast- Naruto knew that he had struck a chord, possibly even hurt the other man. But he still couldn't help feel the anger rise in him. He wasn't going to pretend that things were better.
“That's easy for you-”
“No, it's not. Naruto, it's not. But I'll tell you about that some other day. Not now.”
Before Naruto could say anything in return, the doorbell rang and both of the men were roused from their reverie. Shakily, Naruto got on his legs and opened the door hastily. He tried to hide the tremor in his voice while he spoke.
“So, what is it?”
Sasuke's familiar voice assaulted his ears and Naruto looked up, more than a little surprised. No, this wasn't the first time that Sasuke had come over out of his volition, but this was unexpected.
And Kakashi's here as well. This is not my day, I'm starting to believe.
Sasuke eyes met his own in a matter of seconds. A shiver passed through Naruto's spine.
“I...this wasn't...I have Kakashi over.”
But Kakashi had risen.
“I'll be leaving, Naruto. You must be Sasuke Uchiha, right? I've heard a lot about you.”
Sasuke just nodded and shook hands with Kakashi, who didn't bother hiding his curiosity. He said nothing more to Sasuke, but before he was out of sight, he pulled Naruto out of the doorway and silently uttered: “When you visit next time, bring your Uchiha boy over. I'd like to exchange a word or two with him.”
------------------
When the door slammed shut behind Kakashi, Sasuke regarded it with poorly disguised interest. In fact, this was the first time that Sasuke looked curious about something and it quite pleased Naruto. He knew that Kakashi would interest Sasuke, even make him eager to get to know him.
“He's not what I expected him to be," Sasuke muttered, obviously finding it hard to believe that Naruto could be acquainted with someone who wasn't crazy in some ways.
“You really thought he'd be some spastic idiot... Well, don't get me wrong: Kakashi is a pervert, but he's also a damn freakin' genius. He's a fantastic cop.”
Sasuke just shrugged. Naruto hadn't expected him to react differently. Sasuke couldn't know who Kakashi was and how admirable his attributes were. Naruto was intent on fulfilling Kakashi’s request as soon as possible. Then, Sasuke would understand and hopefully admire the man as much as Naruto did. But he would wait with that.
“I'm glad that Kakashi didn't walk in on us kissing. That would have been my death.”
Sasuke didn't grace Naruto with a reply, but took his shoes off and walked into the living room. Naruto was too shocked to say anything intelligible.
I won't tell Sasuke that he knows we've had sex. Or that we are... whatever we are. I'd be dead.
Naruto moved away from the door and, feeling the weight of the all too hot day, sunk down into the couch. He was drained and really only wanted to close his eyes; he needed some rest. Before he did that, he wanted to know one thing though.
“Say, what did you come for?”
Sasuke didn't answer again, but merely sat down beside Naruto, remaining silent all the time being. Naruto's head whipped in Sasuke's direction and he lazily contemplated the unreadable expression on the other man's face. He had to tell Sasuke.
“I met Itachi again today. He's confirmed everything I've said. He's the one who- you know.”
“What do you intend to do about this? About him?”
“I don't know. I don't know, Sasuke. I haven’t really... What do you intend to do?”
“My desires and wishes are unchanged. I'll kill him, if it's the last thing I ever do.”
“You know I won't stop you.”
That was true. It wasn't in Naruto's power to stop Sasuke; he would have been a hypocrite if he ever attempted to do that. As much as Kakashi's words haunted him, he wasn't going to stand in Sasuke's way- that would have been futile, anyway.
“I know.”
At least he trusts me. That's good.
“But I won't let you hurt yourself, either. I'll watch your back.”
Sasuke kissed Naruto in return; his unspoken reply rendering everything more meaningful. It was only the ghost of kiss again, but Naruto didn't care. Having Sasuke kiss him was more than awesome. When Sasuke broke the kiss, he used Naruto's silence to say, “You should go to bed, Naruto. You look tired.”
Naruto was touched by the comment, less because of Sasuke's rather random words, but because he knew what that they implied.
He's oddly considerate in his own way. I like how he cares. He doesn't talk, but his actions confirm it.
Naruto wanted to lighten the mood, not only because he felt like it, but also because they had been both through too much recently. Life shouldn't only be wasted on unhappy things. Naruto firmly believed in that.
“Are you sure you aren't implying that you want to do something in particular?”
“No, idiot. You'd only fall asleep on top of me. Besides, last night was-”
“Not bad, I hope. Because you didn't sound displeased.”
“Naruto… You really are a moron.”
“You said you wouldn't call me that again.”
“And I said that you deserve it. So I won't stop.”
Naruto didn't mind their little argument, but, seeing the darkness glaring in from the window, knew that he should go to bed soon. He was tired as hell, too. But there was Sasuke here as well.
“You gonna stay overnight?”
Naruto hoped that Sasuke would stay, seeing that his company diverted him from thinking too much. Besides, he wouldn't mind sharing his bed with him.
“Might as well. I don't see the point in going back to that apartment.”
Naruto found himself asking something he had wanted to ask for ages; he really needed to know. The thought of Sasuke's apartment made him cringe, after all. It was so... empty.
“Why is that empty, anyway? Are you really that bland?”
“As if you have the right to talk: look at your own apartment.”
“Hey, there's nothing wrong with my apartment!” Naruto snapped angrily.
At least, it's not ... like yours.
Sasuke got up from the coach and threw Naruto, who had meanwhile made himself comfortable by sitting in a cross-legged position, an unquestionably “are you pulling my leg” look. He was surveying Naruto's living room with his critical, overly perfectionist manner. He really seemed to hate the sight of it, which wounded Naruto's pride. He might not have been orderly, but he had taken care to keep it free from cockroaches. Sasuke was just being a stupid coxcomb again.
“As I said the first time I came here, this place is a fucking mess!” Sasuke stated and Naruto wanted to throttle him.
“Then redecorate it, if you're that smart.”
Hell, I'm tempted to say, “Move in with me,” but I don't think we're ready for that yet. At least, I'm not ready to die of a heart attack. Sasuke would drive me crazy.
Sasuke paid no heed to that comment. Naruto was starting to become irritated- the idiot should at least answer from time to time.
“I'll go and wash, if you don't mind.”
Naruto's eyes widened. Well, this was interesting. Perhaps Sasuke wanted him to...
“You want me to join?” Naruto asked hopefully. He really hoped Sasuke would answer with a "yes".
Naruto was wagging his eyebrows suggestively and there was a leer in his eyes while he scanned Sasuke's body from head to foot. A little number in the shower was the very thing on his mind now...
“No,” Sasuke said decisively and closed the door to the bathroom with a loud bang behind him.
Bastard. Did I really have sex with him last night? He still acts like the same guy who's- this is stupid!
It seemed like an eternity to Naruto when Sasuke finally came out of the bathroom. Sasuke was rather obsessive about neatness, but Naruto had come to tolerate that aspect of Sasuke's personality a long time ago- it was irrevocably linked with his reluctance to share his feelings and tendency to leave Naruto out of his life. In retrospect, it was one of the less annoying traits of Sasuke's infuriatingly complex character.
His footsteps were light against the wood of the floor and, unlike Naruto, he didn't make it creak. He even evaded stepping on the stubs of the pencils, which Naruto had somehow forgotten to throw away again. During the whole process of entering the bedroom, Sasuke threw a surreptitious glance around the room, the bed itself, and sighed.
“Why are you wearing my clothes?” Naruto asked because he was honestly curious; he didn't even remember possessing those clothes, but knew that the orange T-shirt couldn't possible be Sasuke's. He never wore colorful things.
“You don't think I'd go to bed in what I wear, do you?”
Naruto decided not to comment on that. Sasuke and his anal retentive habits were nothing new to him. He decided it was best not to interfere. Besides, Sasuke looked good in his clothes. Sasuke had already gone into bed, making him as comfortable as he could - which included taking the entire sheet for himself and using not one, but two cushions for his head.
When Naruto was about to get in, Sasuke stared at him incredulously and a look of fury crossed his features. He pointed at Naruto's garb.
“You can't seriously be telling me that you're going to sleep like that?” Sasuke questioned Naruto through gritted teeth. His hands were holding the sheets protectively against his body. He looked positively murderous when Naruto attempted to come closer.
“Well, yeah. I-”
“No, you don't. Either you change or you can sleep on the floor, for all I care.”
“Sasuke...” Naruto started, but catching Sasuke's glare of death, decided to submit to the other's will. “Forget it.”
Without pondering too long, he opened his cupboard and grabbed the nearest T-shirt and pair of shorts he could find; he really didn't care what he put on, as long as Sasuke kept his mouth shut about it.
He doesn't seem to remember that this is my apartment. And my bed. He shouldn't be the one giving orders here. But...I'm too tired to fight over this. Let him have his way.
“Naruto, switch the light off. You're closer to the door.”
Yet, this feels nice. It's almost... like a relationship. Sort of.
“You know, you're like a nagging wife. I-”
Sooner than he had expected, Naruto found himself regretting having said that -- landing on the hard floor was a less than pleasurable experience.
“Hey, that was supposed to be a compliment, bastard! That hurt!”
“Well, I don't think much of your compliment,” Sasuke replied haughtily. His eyes were narrowed, which made Naruto back away slightly. He had managed to inflame the Uchiha's wrath. Indeed, it seemed to be a very bad idea to compare Sasuke to a woman. Naruto decided to remember this for the future, though he didn't fully understand what had been that wrong about the statement.
It's just my luck to be lumbered with this kind of guy: a bastard with zero sense of humor.
Regardless of that, Naruto climbed back into bed and, attempting to soothe Sasuke's nerves, let his fingers brush over the other's hair. Sasuke stiffened and his face was still averted from Naruto's. He was obviously still indignant. Therefore, Naruto saw himself forced to utter a semi-apology while he continued to play with Sasuke's loose strands of black hair.
“You really shouldn't be that angry. I just meant that I like being with you. That I like this.”
Sasuke sighed and relaxed. His face was turned towards Naruto's again and a ghost of a smile briefly appeared on his expression. However, like a badly lit candle, it quickly died, and Sasuke's face was somber again. But his eyes were tender and his voice softened, no longer intent on being witty or sardonic.
“Then find better ways to tell me.”
Naruto's eyes widened and, although he was not necessarily gifted with the fine arts of a quick brain, comprehension sunk in. It made him grin briefly, and his lips met Sasuke's. No matter how difficult Sasuke could be, he was also surprisingly uncomplicated and straightforward at times. He didn't waste time on pointless chitchat.
Naruto let his hands slide under Sasuke's shirt, liking how his now-cool hands made the man shiver and gasp. Sasuke had sensitive skin, which pleased Naruto immensely. He also noted that Sasuke moaned out when his neck was licked, kissed or, breathed heavily upon. He loved the sounds Sasuke made and the way the other's hands found themselves tangling in his hair or held onto him. It was all going on fantastically until the phone rang.
“I'll just let it ring. It's too good and early to stop.”
He dived in for another kiss, but Sasuke's hand was in the way. Naruto was horrified and very, very confused.
“What?”
“Go pick it up. The sound annoys me.”
“Sasuke!” Naruto pleaded, whining like a little boy. He couldn't believe it.
“Now.”
No series of insults could change Sasuke's mind and Naruto saw himself forced to pick up the blasted phone. He had never hated Kiba more in his life. Okay, so he was pleased that his former partner had finally gotten out of the hospital and that he could go on walks with his beloved cur again. He was even elated when Kiba talked of Hinata's pregnancy with all the pride and euphoria of a father-to-be, but still. He wished his friend all the good in the world, but couldn't help feeling more than a tad bit annoyed.
He could have waited. He- Oh, damn! Just why did he have to call now?
Naruto was just about to stroll back to his bedroom, intent on continuing his make-out session with Sasuke when the dreaded noise of the phone toiled again.
“Who is it now-” Naruto started and angrily barked into the phone: “What now?”
As soon as Naruto realized who it was, he winced.
“You know, Naruto. That is really not the right way to greet someone,” Sakura's voice chastised him. Naruto could envision her furious countenance: the shaking of her fist and her body preparing itself for a fight. He really was an idiot; he had to make up immediately or he wouldn't survive the rest of the week.
“I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. Sorry, it was just...I'mnotaloneheretongiht.”
“What?”
She won't spare me. Right, I'll just say it properly this time.
“I'm not alone here tonight.”
Naruto swore he heard Sakura cackling like a hyena over the phone; it made him feel a little scared. She really was a pervert- more so than Kakashi.
“Elaborate now, or I'll come over immediately.”
“Sasuke's staying overnight. Happy now? Can we talk tomorrow, please?”
There was a giggle and a squeal over the phone, along with exclamations of, “Ha, I knew it!” and, “Eureka!” Naruto's temper was rising again, but he told himself to remain calm. Yelling at Sakura-chan was no option. Or he would end up being castrated.
Which would make a very unhappy man. But, sheesh. She's way too interested.
“Oh, sure. I'm sorry I interrupted. Bye. Have fun.”
She'll hoard me for details next time we meet. That will be fun. Not.
Finally, having disposed of all annoying communications, Naruto was happy that he could focus on Sasuke again; he would make up for the time they had lost. He would make Sasuke scream this time, he would.
Sadly, as luck would have it, Sasuke was fast asleep: he was curled up- like a kitten- with his face hidden partly by his hands, and his breathing was soft. Naruto didn't have the heart to wake him up- Sasuke was way too cute like this.
Damn it all, he thought and went to bed, swearing at the Powers To Be and his accursed fate.
--------
Sasuke's breathing was low and his body felt warm against Naruto's. He was close and, oddly, this was more intimate than sex - it was like the lazy murmur of a fire burning in a hearth, a clock ticking, or birds twittering. Naruto felt safe and encompassed by warmth, although he had no idea why. He had no idea why he felt so close to Sasuke, closer than he had ever before. Perhaps, because having someone's cold feet- Sasuke's cold feet- touching his own was an affirmation.
Sasuke's really here. It's not a dream.
It should have been weird; his heart was hammering wildly, but not out of excitement. At least, not the kind of excitement that had hormones going wild or made him frantic with arousal: he had sated his bodily pleasures the night before. And while Naruto couldn't deny that he was very, very eager for a repeat of the performance, this was more than enough at the moment - and none less meaningful.
His heart was constricting painfully in his chest because of emotions he could no longer hold back. He let his one hand - the skin so rough, dry, and the fingernails uneven, uncut - travel over Sasuke's cheek, then his fingers found themselves in the other's black hair. From the get go, Naruto had been obsessed with Sasuke's weird hairstyle: it looked so messy and yet, utterly perfect at the same time. Moreover, it was soft.
Naruto had no idea how to describe this feeling: he felt protected and secure. He hadn't felt like that for ages. In fact, he believed - knew - that he hadn't ever met someone who forced him to fight as much as Sasuke did. Not just for approval, but for his very presence, begging to be acknowledged. Naruto realized that he wanted nothing more, but for Sasuke to accept him- faults and all- like he had accepted and grown to care for him. Naruto liked Sasuke, in spite - or, better said, because of - what he was.
If this was love, then Naruto was fairly certain that he truly loved Sasuke. There was absolutely no point in denying that.
...
Rating: T
Summary: Naruto hated bastards with the passion of a thousand suns. Too bad that his new partner is a combination of all that. NaruSasu, AU.
Notes:
Not much to say about this; this was bet'd (and made more readable) by Alley-Oop.
---------
Sometimes waking up from a dream is a quick, abrupt process that rips you out of your fancy, pretend-world and-- with tremendous fear clawing at your heart -- you find yourself gasping for breath and clutching the sweat-drenched pyjama shirt sticking ruefully to your skin.
At other times, it's a more gradual process: you hear voices floating in and out of your brain, are aware of the sunlight peeking in through the curtained windows and are enshrouded by that state of semi-consciousness - that, like a cloud, wraps itself around you. It's like drowning, but you're not dying - but slowly resurfacing from the depths of the sea. You hear, yet don't hear; see, yet don't see; and are here, but not here. It's like being in a semi-trance: everything seems vague and blurred. Everything seems better and more hopeful as well.
Naruto was in that half-dazed, half-asleep state. He knew that it was no longer night and that the birds were already twittering and fluttering outside, even though it was raining. He could hear the rain pattering on the roof, the sound of water droplets hitting the windowsill and the droning of the all too potent thunder. A storm was approaching.
Yet, his eyes were still closed. He didn't feel like opening them right now, lest something evil was approaching. He had learned at an early age that, sometimes, it was better not to wake up - not every awakening brought pleasant consequences along with it.
Indeed, most of the time, it was better not to wake up at all.
He could still remember- and probably would never forget- the morning his parents had passed away. He would never forget how the message had crashed upon him like a thunderbolt and altered his life in a matter of milliseconds. In one second- in another lifetime- he had been Naruto Uzumaki, the son of two very awesome and highly accomplished people, and- in another awful, perverse mood of fate -he had been reduced to an orphan. You couldn’t say that this had been a reason to rejoice; it had been worse than death.
Therefore, Naruto didn't want to wake up, but pretend that he was still engulfed by the reassuring indulgence of sleep.
Slowly, however, his eyes blinked and, after some minutes, opened wide- it was a shocking awakening. Naruto had no idea where he was because, wherever this room was, it didn't belong to him. He didn't recall having such whitewashed walls, or such a hard mattress. This was a neat room, not his pencil-littered, messy one. He wouldn't have ever managed to maintain such flawless order and organization. What perturbed him the most, though, was the fact that he was stark naked, only covered by thin sheets. There were also other details about his state that shouldn't necessarily be recounted, but they made Naruto feel more than just horrified; he was frantic and nearly maddened with confusion.
“Shit,” Naruto whispered, trying to sit up in the bed; he was having trouble figuring out what had happened, as his brain was still a pell-mell of trance- like sensations and vague recollections. He had been dealing with too many things lately.
Please not again.
This wouldn't have been the first time that he had woken up under such mysterious circumstances. When Kiba had accused him of screwing around, he hadn't been wrong: Naruto had been through experiences that were more than questionable. Yet, now, he was freaked out because there was no sign of a condom anywhere and this wasn't what he needed now. Contracting STDs was not something Naruto was really wild about. Then again, this couldn't be what it looked like. He hadn't been anything close to remotely drunk.
Something in the back of his mind nagged that this wasn't a usual circumstance, but as of yet, Naruto was still too light-headed to realize what had happened. But his brain was slowly gaining light of the situation and comprehension was starting to sink in.
Images and memories came crashing down upon him; the events of the past two days rolled over him like a steam engine intent on breaking some world record. He had been researching on Sasuke's family, found out more about his creepy-slash-stalker brother, and finally confronted the peevish bastard himself. Sasuke had been reluctant to talk and Naruto, in spite of everything, had still felt pushed back. But he hadn't given up.
Bastard, Naruto thought. He just likes to live difficultly.
And, somewhere along the line, he had slept with Sasuke. The memories of last night rendered Naruto to feeling sheepishly stupid and his stomach fluttered. He blushed as well. He couldn't make out whether it had been a dream, some sort of hallucination, or reality. It was hard to figure that out.
The place next to Naruto's side was empty; merely the slightly sunken in cushion implied that someone had been there. Of course, it had been Sasuke, and it was with a great feeling of disappointment that Naruto digested that fact. As often as he'd woken up alone before in a similar situation, this was the first time he felt hurt, even used.
He might have only done this to forget.
Naruto's next actions weren't as idle and lazy as they had been before. In a sickening frenzy, he leapt out of bed and put on his clothes in a hasty manner, intent on finding out where Sasuke was.
He couldn't keep the nausea from affecting his mood. If Sasuke had left, then this wasn't a good sign at all. In spite of Sasuke's consolation during the night before, he had really made a mistake. He had to find out what had happened. If Sasuke was gone, he would find a way to trace him. He had sworn to never let go of Sasuke, hadn't he?
...
Sasuke, to his innermost surprise and relief, wasn't gone. Had he really been gone, Naruto would have probably run out of the apartment block and searched for him everywhere. He wouldn't have rested his aching limbs for a second. He was too foregone to have simply let Sasuke go.
However, the point in being was that Sasuke wasn't gone, but here: he hadn't just up and left.
In fact, Sasuke was sitting on a stool over a cup of steaming coffee, immersed in what seemed to be a newspaper article. It looked so oddly domestic and -well- normal that Naruto had to suck in his breath - he still had difficulty digesting that Sasuke could be as relaxed and remotely carefree as anyone else.
For the span of a few minutes, he just stared at Sasuke flicking through the pages and leaning his head against his left elbow. The feeling of nausea and anxiety that had been forming inside of his stomach was gone. Naruto was endlessly relieved.
When Naruto, out of breath and trembling nervously, entered the kitchen, Sasuke looked up and wordlessly signaled for him to take a seat. He didn't look dramatically different. In spite of all, he was still the same frustrating, disgruntled, and proud-looking man he had always been. Naruto couldn't help feeling a teeny bit disappointed. He had always thought that sex changed people, but he might have been mistaken. In retrospect, it hadn't changed him dramatically either. And he'd done it often enough- sex had not made him any wiser.
Still, this time it did feel different. Something about this morning after was out of the norm.
It's the first time I've really- whatever. I've never really stayed... This is awkward, man.
Observing the whitewashed walls of Sasuke's kitchen with acute interest, Naruto tried to come up with a decent greeting, but his words failed him. He found himself tongue-tied, like he had been engaged in some philosophical debate lasting from sunrise till sunset.
After a while, he attempted: “Sasuke. It's good you're here. I thought you had... Not important.”
“You thought I had left?” Sasuke asked non committally, even though it was more of a statement than an inquiry. He was no longer looking at Naruto, but flipping through the pages of the newspaper and frowning. Apparently, he didn't like what he was reading, and Naruto found it oddly endearing. Sasuke's slight frown of disapproval was both childish and still so very much him.
“No - Yes. I just don't know-” Naruto started, but he couldn't find the right words. His thoughts were still jumbled and a messy array of self-doubting, contradictory emotions.
“What's going in my head?” Sasuke asked.
Naruto simply nodded, thinking that this was the best way to convey his feelings. He knew that Sasuke wasn't offended in the least. Besides, there was another question on his mind, far more important than anything else. As hard as it was to reconcile the image of a moaning, sweating Sasuke with the one facing him, it hadn't been a dream. At least, Naruto hoped so.
“You don't regret what we did last night, Sasuke, do you?”
Sasuke's eyes met his own again, this time carefully looking at Naruto's worried and anxious face. He sighed and, tossing the paper into the nearby dustbin, rather unabashedly asked: “Do you?”
Naruto nearly gasped in shock. This hadn't been the retort he had been expecting. He had expected Sasuke to either remain quiet, burst out into a furious soliloquy, or deny that anything had ever happened. Yet, this was not what he had thought possible. Sasuke wasn't quite as readable as he had thought. In some way, Naruto liked that. It made life more interesting. However, at present, he was more confused and doubting.
He's not supposed to be the one asking that. I'm not the one who's been running away all this time!
“That's not what I asked you!” Naruto protested, wanting to know what Sasuke was playing at and demanded once more: “Do you regret it? Say either yes or no, bastard.”
He needed to know before they returned to the headquarters; this was more pressing than anything else.
This is no longer just about us being partners. Not just about Itachi.
“No, I don't. But if you keep referring to me as ‘bastard’, I will.”
Naruto couldn't keep the grin from appearing on his face, even though there wasn't anything remotely funny in Sasuke's remark. Notwithstanding, he was happy because, as infuriating as Sasuke's answer was, it hadn't been a rejection, but an approval.
At least he's still himself.
Indeed, Sasuke was just being bitchy as usual and Naruto was indignant. At the same time, something inside of him was glad that this aspect of their relationship hadn't faded away. They were still capable of ruffling each other's feathers like two spoiled brats. Naruto was relieved. This felt like old times before Itachi had invaded. He decided to play along.
“Then you should stop calling me, I quote: ‘moron,’ ‘dumbass,’ ‘idiot,’ and the other charming names you've tossed at me. It's only fair, Sasuke.”
“Well, unlike me, you deserve the nicknames,” Sasuke answered, as if were a well-known fact that couldn't be refuted against. Naruto felt like slapping him or kissing the hell out of him. He had to be losing his mind.
“See, that's why I can't stop calling you a b-”
Sasuke grabbed hold of Naruto's hand and silenced him with a chaste kiss on his lips. It was swift and barely noticeable - just a ghost of a kiss. Naruto shuddered at the contact; the memories of how Sasuke had felt the night before were assaulting him again, making figurative butterflies flutter in his stomach. He was electrified. He wanted to deepen the kiss and pull Sasuke closer, but the other had broken the contact before he could even register what had occurred. Sasuke had become extremely good at cutting him off.
Soon, he'll have me wrapped around that finger of his. He knows it as well as I do.
Sasuke's voice was oddly gentle and not reproachful when he spoke- he sounded nearly tranquil and happy. However, Naruto wasn't fooled. He knew that as long as Itachi roamed about, Sasuke wouldn't ever be quite peaceful.
“Don't call me that, Naruto. And I won't call you idiot- unless you do something stupid again. Now get ready or we'll be late.”
Naruto felt they should have talked about last night's events, but he was too happy for the present. Or, better said, he just didn't want to think about it. He hadn't digested the fruits of his so-called research yet. In fact, as confident and secure as he had felt when he had confronted Sasuke, Naruto now doubted whether any of it was true: he may have gotten carried away in the heat of the moment. Indeed, he might have just grasped at any loopholes he could find.
But now, he just wanted to forget.
----------
There is this existing cliché of people being able to discern or detect a difference in a person after said individual got laid. Well, in Sasuke's case, Naruto was glad to observe that no one in the office seemed to have realized anything. Nonetheless, perhaps, Sasuke was an exception. He wasn't like the common brand of men; his emotions were so well sealed that to thrust them to the scrutiny of the public was an impossible task. Unless, of course, you were called Itachi. Or Naruto Uzumaki.
In contrast to that, everybody seemed to realize that something had happened to Naruto. He was just like an open book and, amongst knowing smiles from his colleagues, Naruto was shocked to see Shikamaru approach him while he was photocopying one of Sasuke's reports. He hoped that it would just be another of his friend's usual jabs. But this wasn't the case. Shikamaru looked serious and worried while he was speaking.
“I'm surprised you weren't late this time. I'd thought that your research last night would have made you sleep longer than usual. What did you look for?”
“Ah, just some things,” Naruto answered, hoping that this would be a sufficient hint.
Shikamaru furrowed an eyebrow. Naruto felt like slapping himself. He should have remembered that Shikamaru, among his genius for strategies, was pretty good at reading people- especially him. He had never been able to lie to Shikamaru and should have just told him it was none of his business. Shikamaru was anything but obtrusive and would have hardly been offended. Or at least pretended not to be.
“You know, it's not my style to inquire after other people's habits, but...you're my friend, Naruto. And you've been acting weird, lately.”
Naruto knew Shikamaru had good intentions; he knew that he could have trusted him or Chouji with his life. However, he just didn't want them dragged into this mess. It wasn't their burden to carry and Sasuke wouldn't have appreciated it.
“Please not you too. I'm starting to getting fed up with everyone behaving as if I'm going to crack soon. Do I seem depressed you?”
“No, but-”
“Then just don't ask that many questions. It's troublesome.”
Shikamaru was puzzled for a moment and then finally answered: “Isn't that supposed to be my line?”
Naruto clapped Shikamaru good-naturedly on the shoulder and assured him: “Look if anything happens- really happens -I'll tell you. Just don't break your heart over little ol' me.”
Shikamaru snorted and shook his head. “Now that would really be troublesome.”
Naruto laughed in return.
---------------
The sun burned obstinately onto Naruto's frame while he sat with his elbows pressed against both his knees on the hard wooden surface of the shaky bench. It was a cruelly hot day, and the sunlight nearly seemed to burn through his skin like a blade. His head throbbed painfully. Any more of it and Naruto felt sure he would explode. It wasn't just that he had a searing headache, but he felt that his tête was like a heavy, squishy watermelon. Whatever it was, Naruto just didn't feel good.
He had come here to get some fresh air - the oppressiveness and dullness of the office had been choking him. Sasuke hadn't wanted to come along, so Naruto had been forced to go alone.
What if he's regretting it, after all? Or am I being too paranoid about all this?
However, Naruto was somewhat relieved he was on his own. Like this, overzealous colleagues or the shadow of Sasuke looming over his head didn’t constantly pester him - it was good to have some sort of distance once in a while.
Yet, when the bench creaked under the weight of another person, Naruto promptly looked up. However, his pleased, even hopeful features fell to a hateful scorn when he perceived whom the individual was. But he was less surprised than he had been in the previous encounters- this had nearly become something of a jolly tradition. Not everyone could claim to be acquainted with a murderer, least of all with such a charming and well-composed one.
Itachi Uchiha was a mystery and each and every time Naruto tried to make sense out of him, his wits failed him.
“Ah. You want to talk to me again, right?” Naruto asked without allowing any of his emotions to pass through his lips. He wasn't going to betray how much the man made the blood in veins come to a chill. If he showed any weakness now, he had no idea what would happen next.
“It's good you were with Sasuke yesterday. He's a foolish boy; he needs someone to guide him.”
Naruto snorted and coldly replied, “What he needs is for you to be dead.”
He could still remember the dull thud of the bullet falling to the ground from the night before; it made him sick to think that it hadn't hit and torn Itachi's flesh asunder. This was the only thing he truly deserved, apart from being ripped to shreds by the Devil himself.
“That might happen soon enough. You never know,” Itachi said quietly and calmly; he sounded nearly vulnerable.
Naruto looked up - his comprehension of the man's words had again flowed down the drain- he had no idea what Itachi was talking about. Perhaps, he thought, the burning sun and the dull, lazy murmur of the day was getting to him. Itachi was either cracking or trying to screw with his head.
“Can't you just once be straightforward? You talk in riddles. I can't figure you out. Why do you always come to me, anyway?” Naruto asked, though he knew very well that Itachi wouldn't provide him with the answers he needed. In that aspect, he was very much like Sasuke - complicated, stubborn and a tough nut to crack. But where Sasuke was explosive and emotional, Itachi was resilient and nearly patient, peaceful.
“Because you're what he needs.”
“What do you-?”
“I've known you for a long time, Naruto. I've known you since that night I saw you at the hospital. When you were...”
Don't continue, please don't.
“Shut up. So you were the one - you shot my parents under the bastard's orders?” Naruto asked carefully, hesitantly. His throat felt dry and the nausea- in other words, bile - was rising upwards again. His stomach churned, his hands shook and the headache increased a manifold; his heart jolted sickeningly inside of his chest, as if eager to escape or harden itself against the immediate shock.
Itachi nodded and, for a moment, the world stopped.
Naruto felt the entire horror of that night collapsing on him again, only more painful and acute.
“I was the one who killed Orochimaru as well.”
“Why-?” Naruto asked, flabbergasted, trying to regain some sort of control over his shaking and shuddering body.
“He was no longer of use,” came the vague, mechanically uttered reply. Now, the painstakingly perfect method of Itachi's homicide returned full-throttle into Naruto's mind. It had been the perfect murder and in its ruthlessness, he now realized that only Sasuke's brother could have been the one. Because it had been all too perfect, too coincidental.
“Do you like doing this? Playing these sick games with Sasuke and -now- me? I won't let you break him anymore.”
And you won't break me either.
Itachi just continued to stare at Naruto. His eyes - so similar, yet different from Sasuke's- sent chills of fear down Naruto's spine because for the first time it wasn't just detachedness Naruto was looking at. Itachi's eyes, it seemed, were sad, wistful, and there seemed to be an age-old despair there, like he had been through a thousand wars. Those weren't the eyes of a young man, but a wretched, tired old soul.
“And yet, what I don't understand is why you didn't kill him? Why did you tell me what he intended to do?”
Naruto was in full cop modus now; he had to break through Itachi's seemingly impenetrable barrier because, otherwise, neither he nor Sasuke would ever find any peace.
There was something obscenely sickening in chatting with Itachi so casually in the park. The sound of traffic, children laughing, and the bees buzzing in the air was incredibly surrealistic. Cool night air, the chill of a winter, or the stormy blows of a thunderstorm would have been more fitting - the scenery at the moment was way too tranquil, too perfect.
Naruto wasn't sure whether he wanted to cry, laugh, or strike Itachi dead.
Itachi finally spoke, his voice eerily soft and his face wore a nearly sad smile.
“My brother was always a fool, now and then. Killing him was never what I had in mind.”
Before Naruto fully comprehended the full implication of what Itachi could have- might have -meant, it was already too late. Itachi, with the speed of light and the quietness of a mouse, had slithered away, run off, and Naruto was too shell-shocked to follow. The weight of the words kept him bound to the bench like invisible shackles.
...
Naruto let his head rest between his folded hands; he was sweating profusely and the rushing back to the office hadn't done much to remedy that. He had wanted to skip work, but thought that it wouldn't have been the wisest move. As it was, he had caused more than enough trouble in the past few months. Tsunade would murder him as well. So, he stayed and was glad that Sasuke, silent as always, didn't bombard him with questions.
Naruto was at home, trying desperately to bring some sort of order into his home; cleaning up kept him from thinking, cogitating over depressing memories that- like ice-cold rain- soaked him wet. He didn't want to recall Itachi's words, least of all focus on his parents' deaths. It had happened years ago. He had cried, poured out his tears till none were left and, for years, Naruto had been empty. Now, he felt like everything was hitting him full-force in the face again.
A loud knock at the door didn't cheer him up, although Naruto was earnestly puzzled. It couldn't be Sakura, as she had resolved to spend time with Lee, since he had returned from doing whatever he did. Naruto couldn't really remember- the sound of her ecstatic voice over the phone had been more like background music. To his amazement, it was Kakashi, the man who still confused him more than anything. As always, Kakashi came straight to the point, but not before he had sat down on the sofa and motioned Naruto to follow him. Naruto gulped.
Whatever it is, please don't let it be about Sasuke.
“I took the liberty of finding out who Sasuke is.”
Shit.
“Why would you do that?” Naruto asked, horrified and thinking that Kakashi had finally lost it. Sasuke wasn't a criminal; there was no reason to probe about his personal files.
“Because admit it or not, something is going on here,” Kakashi said, looking Naruto deeply in the eye. It was unsettling.
Naruto was about to protest when Kakashi's not-covered eye widened, and he found himself slapped on the back. Needless to say, Naruto had no idea what that was about and stared at Kakashi like he had truly lost his marbles.
“Ah, so you've found someone! That explains everything.”
“What?” Naruto asked, leaning further back against the couch and looking for a way to evade the painful discussion. He knew that whatever Kakashi was going to say next was only going to confuse him further.
“You got laid! That's fantastic news. Now, who is she?”
Okay, I'm confused. How did we go from Sasuke to- Ah, never mind.
Naruto coughed discreetly and pretended that the wall was a very interesting artifact. He was a bad liar and wouldn't be able to come up with anything good. He would never fool Kakashi. Ever.
“Kakashi, you see - it's kinda...”
I'm hopeless.
“So, it's a he?”
“... Yes.”
“So what is he like? Someone interesting?”
“Err...I don't know. Quiet and ... it's not important.”
Kakashi was silent for a moment, but then his features gained that knowing look -- he had put two and two together. Naruto felt like running away; this wasn't going to end well. Kakashi drew closer to Naruto and then, a slight tone of irritation mingled in his voice, inquired: “You're not telling me that you slept with Sasuke?”
“Kakashi... That's not- Well, what if I did?”
Kakashi sighed audibly and slapped Naruto on the forehead, earning a yelp from the younger man. Kakashi still managed to make him feel like an idiot, in spite of the years he had known the man. Kakashi leaned back against the couch and, rolling his uncovered eye, shook his head and started his usual rant. Naruto wanted to hit something.
“What did I tell you about getting sexually involved with someone at work? Maa, you didn't learn anything, idiot. It only leads to trouble.”
Naruto wanted to scream. Of all things, this was the worst. He knew what would follow now: a stupid lecture from Kakashi's repertoire of wisdom on life. It was infuriating; he wasn’t a kid anymore!
“Well, I couldn't really help- It's complicated.”
“I'm starting to believe that anything that involves this Uchiha boy of yours is complicated.”
You hit the nail on head, Kakashi. Damn him, why is he that perceptive?
“Look...”
But Kakashi shut him up by snapping with his fingers. He wasn't the type of person that liked explanations.
“Naruto, think about it from this point of view. Jiraiya fell in love with Tsunade, and look what it led him to. Why, he's so terrified of her, he even gave up on his job!”
“But he was writing porn. I don't see how he's suffering under that.”
Naruto failed to understand the connection. Jiraiya seemed perfectly happy. But Kakashi didn't answer and continued. “He's spent the last two weeks sleeping at my house. Anyhow, Naruto. Sasuke Uchiha... He has a rather interesting family history. His brother, Itachi Uchiha...”
“…Was the thirteen-year-old genius kid who killed his parents. I know that.”
“Do you also know that he worked under Orochimaru? At least for a while?”
Naruto swallowed that piece of information, but it didn't shock him anymore - it only confirmed a few things. He now knew for certain.
“No, I didn't know that. But I know he killed my parents. And that he was the one responsible for that bastard's death.”
“Naruto, promise me you're not going to do anything stupid. This isn't a game! Sasuke seems to have only one thing in mind-”
“I know that as well, Kakashi. I know that.”
“And you still got close to him? You allowed yourself to get involved with him?”
It sounded like a reproach to Naruto's ears and he let the question run through his brain. Yes, he had gotten involved with Sasuke. Even though he had been pushed away a countless number of times, he had gotten involved, in spite of everything. And he didn't regret it for a minute.
“What was I supposed to do, Kakashi? Just sit back and watch?”
“That might have been better. You can't always play the hero, Naruto.”
Naruto rose from his sitting place and frantically walked to and fro in the room. Then, he faced Kakashi again. He had to make him understand.
“Tell me honestly: When my parents - my father- died, didn't you want to ... avenge him? Were you really content to just sit back and wait for fate to intervene?” Naruto vented, feeling the nausea rise in him again. “Were you happy to know that the fuckwit who killed him was alive ... and not - I...”
“Calm down, Naruto. You might not understand, but as I told you before, revenge isn't a solution. It only fosters hate and bitterness. And you don't gain anything in return. Nothing.”
The “nothing” had been spoken with perfect audibility in a bitter, hateful tone. Kakashi wasn't an emotional man, but he was not impossible to read either. Looking into his face- the one good eye sadly downcast- Naruto knew that he had struck a chord, possibly even hurt the other man. But he still couldn't help feel the anger rise in him. He wasn't going to pretend that things were better.
“That's easy for you-”
“No, it's not. Naruto, it's not. But I'll tell you about that some other day. Not now.”
Before Naruto could say anything in return, the doorbell rang and both of the men were roused from their reverie. Shakily, Naruto got on his legs and opened the door hastily. He tried to hide the tremor in his voice while he spoke.
“So, what is it?”
Sasuke's familiar voice assaulted his ears and Naruto looked up, more than a little surprised. No, this wasn't the first time that Sasuke had come over out of his volition, but this was unexpected.
And Kakashi's here as well. This is not my day, I'm starting to believe.
Sasuke eyes met his own in a matter of seconds. A shiver passed through Naruto's spine.
“I...this wasn't...I have Kakashi over.”
But Kakashi had risen.
“I'll be leaving, Naruto. You must be Sasuke Uchiha, right? I've heard a lot about you.”
Sasuke just nodded and shook hands with Kakashi, who didn't bother hiding his curiosity. He said nothing more to Sasuke, but before he was out of sight, he pulled Naruto out of the doorway and silently uttered: “When you visit next time, bring your Uchiha boy over. I'd like to exchange a word or two with him.”
------------------
When the door slammed shut behind Kakashi, Sasuke regarded it with poorly disguised interest. In fact, this was the first time that Sasuke looked curious about something and it quite pleased Naruto. He knew that Kakashi would interest Sasuke, even make him eager to get to know him.
“He's not what I expected him to be," Sasuke muttered, obviously finding it hard to believe that Naruto could be acquainted with someone who wasn't crazy in some ways.
“You really thought he'd be some spastic idiot... Well, don't get me wrong: Kakashi is a pervert, but he's also a damn freakin' genius. He's a fantastic cop.”
Sasuke just shrugged. Naruto hadn't expected him to react differently. Sasuke couldn't know who Kakashi was and how admirable his attributes were. Naruto was intent on fulfilling Kakashi’s request as soon as possible. Then, Sasuke would understand and hopefully admire the man as much as Naruto did. But he would wait with that.
“I'm glad that Kakashi didn't walk in on us kissing. That would have been my death.”
Sasuke didn't grace Naruto with a reply, but took his shoes off and walked into the living room. Naruto was too shocked to say anything intelligible.
I won't tell Sasuke that he knows we've had sex. Or that we are... whatever we are. I'd be dead.
Naruto moved away from the door and, feeling the weight of the all too hot day, sunk down into the couch. He was drained and really only wanted to close his eyes; he needed some rest. Before he did that, he wanted to know one thing though.
“Say, what did you come for?”
Sasuke didn't answer again, but merely sat down beside Naruto, remaining silent all the time being. Naruto's head whipped in Sasuke's direction and he lazily contemplated the unreadable expression on the other man's face. He had to tell Sasuke.
“I met Itachi again today. He's confirmed everything I've said. He's the one who- you know.”
“What do you intend to do about this? About him?”
“I don't know. I don't know, Sasuke. I haven’t really... What do you intend to do?”
“My desires and wishes are unchanged. I'll kill him, if it's the last thing I ever do.”
“You know I won't stop you.”
That was true. It wasn't in Naruto's power to stop Sasuke; he would have been a hypocrite if he ever attempted to do that. As much as Kakashi's words haunted him, he wasn't going to stand in Sasuke's way- that would have been futile, anyway.
“I know.”
At least he trusts me. That's good.
“But I won't let you hurt yourself, either. I'll watch your back.”
Sasuke kissed Naruto in return; his unspoken reply rendering everything more meaningful. It was only the ghost of kiss again, but Naruto didn't care. Having Sasuke kiss him was more than awesome. When Sasuke broke the kiss, he used Naruto's silence to say, “You should go to bed, Naruto. You look tired.”
Naruto was touched by the comment, less because of Sasuke's rather random words, but because he knew what that they implied.
He's oddly considerate in his own way. I like how he cares. He doesn't talk, but his actions confirm it.
Naruto wanted to lighten the mood, not only because he felt like it, but also because they had been both through too much recently. Life shouldn't only be wasted on unhappy things. Naruto firmly believed in that.
“Are you sure you aren't implying that you want to do something in particular?”
“No, idiot. You'd only fall asleep on top of me. Besides, last night was-”
“Not bad, I hope. Because you didn't sound displeased.”
“Naruto… You really are a moron.”
“You said you wouldn't call me that again.”
“And I said that you deserve it. So I won't stop.”
Naruto didn't mind their little argument, but, seeing the darkness glaring in from the window, knew that he should go to bed soon. He was tired as hell, too. But there was Sasuke here as well.
“You gonna stay overnight?”
Naruto hoped that Sasuke would stay, seeing that his company diverted him from thinking too much. Besides, he wouldn't mind sharing his bed with him.
“Might as well. I don't see the point in going back to that apartment.”
Naruto found himself asking something he had wanted to ask for ages; he really needed to know. The thought of Sasuke's apartment made him cringe, after all. It was so... empty.
“Why is that empty, anyway? Are you really that bland?”
“As if you have the right to talk: look at your own apartment.”
“Hey, there's nothing wrong with my apartment!” Naruto snapped angrily.
At least, it's not ... like yours.
Sasuke got up from the coach and threw Naruto, who had meanwhile made himself comfortable by sitting in a cross-legged position, an unquestionably “are you pulling my leg” look. He was surveying Naruto's living room with his critical, overly perfectionist manner. He really seemed to hate the sight of it, which wounded Naruto's pride. He might not have been orderly, but he had taken care to keep it free from cockroaches. Sasuke was just being a stupid coxcomb again.
“As I said the first time I came here, this place is a fucking mess!” Sasuke stated and Naruto wanted to throttle him.
“Then redecorate it, if you're that smart.”
Hell, I'm tempted to say, “Move in with me,” but I don't think we're ready for that yet. At least, I'm not ready to die of a heart attack. Sasuke would drive me crazy.
Sasuke paid no heed to that comment. Naruto was starting to become irritated- the idiot should at least answer from time to time.
“I'll go and wash, if you don't mind.”
Naruto's eyes widened. Well, this was interesting. Perhaps Sasuke wanted him to...
“You want me to join?” Naruto asked hopefully. He really hoped Sasuke would answer with a "yes".
Naruto was wagging his eyebrows suggestively and there was a leer in his eyes while he scanned Sasuke's body from head to foot. A little number in the shower was the very thing on his mind now...
“No,” Sasuke said decisively and closed the door to the bathroom with a loud bang behind him.
Bastard. Did I really have sex with him last night? He still acts like the same guy who's- this is stupid!
It seemed like an eternity to Naruto when Sasuke finally came out of the bathroom. Sasuke was rather obsessive about neatness, but Naruto had come to tolerate that aspect of Sasuke's personality a long time ago- it was irrevocably linked with his reluctance to share his feelings and tendency to leave Naruto out of his life. In retrospect, it was one of the less annoying traits of Sasuke's infuriatingly complex character.
His footsteps were light against the wood of the floor and, unlike Naruto, he didn't make it creak. He even evaded stepping on the stubs of the pencils, which Naruto had somehow forgotten to throw away again. During the whole process of entering the bedroom, Sasuke threw a surreptitious glance around the room, the bed itself, and sighed.
“Why are you wearing my clothes?” Naruto asked because he was honestly curious; he didn't even remember possessing those clothes, but knew that the orange T-shirt couldn't possible be Sasuke's. He never wore colorful things.
“You don't think I'd go to bed in what I wear, do you?”
Naruto decided not to comment on that. Sasuke and his anal retentive habits were nothing new to him. He decided it was best not to interfere. Besides, Sasuke looked good in his clothes. Sasuke had already gone into bed, making him as comfortable as he could - which included taking the entire sheet for himself and using not one, but two cushions for his head.
When Naruto was about to get in, Sasuke stared at him incredulously and a look of fury crossed his features. He pointed at Naruto's garb.
“You can't seriously be telling me that you're going to sleep like that?” Sasuke questioned Naruto through gritted teeth. His hands were holding the sheets protectively against his body. He looked positively murderous when Naruto attempted to come closer.
“Well, yeah. I-”
“No, you don't. Either you change or you can sleep on the floor, for all I care.”
“Sasuke...” Naruto started, but catching Sasuke's glare of death, decided to submit to the other's will. “Forget it.”
Without pondering too long, he opened his cupboard and grabbed the nearest T-shirt and pair of shorts he could find; he really didn't care what he put on, as long as Sasuke kept his mouth shut about it.
He doesn't seem to remember that this is my apartment. And my bed. He shouldn't be the one giving orders here. But...I'm too tired to fight over this. Let him have his way.
“Naruto, switch the light off. You're closer to the door.”
Yet, this feels nice. It's almost... like a relationship. Sort of.
“You know, you're like a nagging wife. I-”
Sooner than he had expected, Naruto found himself regretting having said that -- landing on the hard floor was a less than pleasurable experience.
“Hey, that was supposed to be a compliment, bastard! That hurt!”
“Well, I don't think much of your compliment,” Sasuke replied haughtily. His eyes were narrowed, which made Naruto back away slightly. He had managed to inflame the Uchiha's wrath. Indeed, it seemed to be a very bad idea to compare Sasuke to a woman. Naruto decided to remember this for the future, though he didn't fully understand what had been that wrong about the statement.
It's just my luck to be lumbered with this kind of guy: a bastard with zero sense of humor.
Regardless of that, Naruto climbed back into bed and, attempting to soothe Sasuke's nerves, let his fingers brush over the other's hair. Sasuke stiffened and his face was still averted from Naruto's. He was obviously still indignant. Therefore, Naruto saw himself forced to utter a semi-apology while he continued to play with Sasuke's loose strands of black hair.
“You really shouldn't be that angry. I just meant that I like being with you. That I like this.”
Sasuke sighed and relaxed. His face was turned towards Naruto's again and a ghost of a smile briefly appeared on his expression. However, like a badly lit candle, it quickly died, and Sasuke's face was somber again. But his eyes were tender and his voice softened, no longer intent on being witty or sardonic.
“Then find better ways to tell me.”
Naruto's eyes widened and, although he was not necessarily gifted with the fine arts of a quick brain, comprehension sunk in. It made him grin briefly, and his lips met Sasuke's. No matter how difficult Sasuke could be, he was also surprisingly uncomplicated and straightforward at times. He didn't waste time on pointless chitchat.
Naruto let his hands slide under Sasuke's shirt, liking how his now-cool hands made the man shiver and gasp. Sasuke had sensitive skin, which pleased Naruto immensely. He also noted that Sasuke moaned out when his neck was licked, kissed or, breathed heavily upon. He loved the sounds Sasuke made and the way the other's hands found themselves tangling in his hair or held onto him. It was all going on fantastically until the phone rang.
“I'll just let it ring. It's too good and early to stop.”
He dived in for another kiss, but Sasuke's hand was in the way. Naruto was horrified and very, very confused.
“What?”
“Go pick it up. The sound annoys me.”
“Sasuke!” Naruto pleaded, whining like a little boy. He couldn't believe it.
“Now.”
No series of insults could change Sasuke's mind and Naruto saw himself forced to pick up the blasted phone. He had never hated Kiba more in his life. Okay, so he was pleased that his former partner had finally gotten out of the hospital and that he could go on walks with his beloved cur again. He was even elated when Kiba talked of Hinata's pregnancy with all the pride and euphoria of a father-to-be, but still. He wished his friend all the good in the world, but couldn't help feeling more than a tad bit annoyed.
He could have waited. He- Oh, damn! Just why did he have to call now?
Naruto was just about to stroll back to his bedroom, intent on continuing his make-out session with Sasuke when the dreaded noise of the phone toiled again.
“Who is it now-” Naruto started and angrily barked into the phone: “What now?”
As soon as Naruto realized who it was, he winced.
“You know, Naruto. That is really not the right way to greet someone,” Sakura's voice chastised him. Naruto could envision her furious countenance: the shaking of her fist and her body preparing itself for a fight. He really was an idiot; he had to make up immediately or he wouldn't survive the rest of the week.
“I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. Sorry, it was just...I'mnotaloneheretongiht.”
“What?”
She won't spare me. Right, I'll just say it properly this time.
“I'm not alone here tonight.”
Naruto swore he heard Sakura cackling like a hyena over the phone; it made him feel a little scared. She really was a pervert- more so than Kakashi.
“Elaborate now, or I'll come over immediately.”
“Sasuke's staying overnight. Happy now? Can we talk tomorrow, please?”
There was a giggle and a squeal over the phone, along with exclamations of, “Ha, I knew it!” and, “Eureka!” Naruto's temper was rising again, but he told himself to remain calm. Yelling at Sakura-chan was no option. Or he would end up being castrated.
Which would make a very unhappy man. But, sheesh. She's way too interested.
“Oh, sure. I'm sorry I interrupted. Bye. Have fun.”
She'll hoard me for details next time we meet. That will be fun. Not.
Finally, having disposed of all annoying communications, Naruto was happy that he could focus on Sasuke again; he would make up for the time they had lost. He would make Sasuke scream this time, he would.
Sadly, as luck would have it, Sasuke was fast asleep: he was curled up- like a kitten- with his face hidden partly by his hands, and his breathing was soft. Naruto didn't have the heart to wake him up- Sasuke was way too cute like this.
Damn it all, he thought and went to bed, swearing at the Powers To Be and his accursed fate.
--------
Sasuke's breathing was low and his body felt warm against Naruto's. He was close and, oddly, this was more intimate than sex - it was like the lazy murmur of a fire burning in a hearth, a clock ticking, or birds twittering. Naruto felt safe and encompassed by warmth, although he had no idea why. He had no idea why he felt so close to Sasuke, closer than he had ever before. Perhaps, because having someone's cold feet- Sasuke's cold feet- touching his own was an affirmation.
Sasuke's really here. It's not a dream.
It should have been weird; his heart was hammering wildly, but not out of excitement. At least, not the kind of excitement that had hormones going wild or made him frantic with arousal: he had sated his bodily pleasures the night before. And while Naruto couldn't deny that he was very, very eager for a repeat of the performance, this was more than enough at the moment - and none less meaningful.
His heart was constricting painfully in his chest because of emotions he could no longer hold back. He let his one hand - the skin so rough, dry, and the fingernails uneven, uncut - travel over Sasuke's cheek, then his fingers found themselves in the other's black hair. From the get go, Naruto had been obsessed with Sasuke's weird hairstyle: it looked so messy and yet, utterly perfect at the same time. Moreover, it was soft.
Naruto had no idea how to describe this feeling: he felt protected and secure. He hadn't felt like that for ages. In fact, he believed - knew - that he hadn't ever met someone who forced him to fight as much as Sasuke did. Not just for approval, but for his very presence, begging to be acknowledged. Naruto realized that he wanted nothing more, but for Sasuke to accept him- faults and all- like he had accepted and grown to care for him. Naruto liked Sasuke, in spite - or, better said, because of - what he was.
If this was love, then Naruto was fairly certain that he truly loved Sasuke. There was absolutely no point in denying that.
...