Bastard!!
I need to vent. I need to rant!! I'm sorry.
I've just got back my gender clinic appointment at the GIC in CX. Any here that's been might know who I mean so I'll spare him his name!!
I have got back feeling miserable and bullied. I have been in tears since getting home and right now I feel depressed. All I want to do is get steaming drunk and climb into bed and pray that the house collapses in on me!
Criticism I can take, suggestions I can take but this sort of confrontation is the sort of crap I would have expected from the general public not a medical proffesional who's job it is to guide a person through their transition.
He's not happy I wore jeans to the appointment. Two reasons I did. It was cold out this morning and I haven't had my legs waxed. I don't own a long enough skirt for a cold day. Oh, I know they exist, but I don't own one! Apparantly, only real women can wear jeans or trousers because they look like women, just women who wear trousers that's all. I just look like a "new romantic bloke with dodgy make-up" his exact words!!
He is constantly surprised at me trying to respect my parents and family. I mentioned the funeral, and his advice was that it would be the perfect time to tell them!! What?? At my Nan's funeral. The last thing I want to cause is friction at my Nan's funeral.
He is also appalled at my choice of name. Apparently feminising my male name is stupid and redundant! I feminised my name out of respect for the fact my parents gave me that name!! He thinks I should have called myself Shirley or Heather or some such twaddle!!
My Mum has stopped trying to use male pronouns when talking about me but she has said that I'll always be her Son no matter what I do to myself because I have been her Son for so long. I'm fine with that, it's the people, the public I want to convince. He can't see that, he says it's not right. I understand some transgendered want to be recognized by their family in their new role and I respect that. Am I wrong, am I going about this the wrong way?
He also wittered on about my unemployed status and how the government will try to screw me over in regards to my benefits. God knows what that shit has to do with my transition but I am at fault for not putting myself out there and selling myself according to him!
It makes me question everything I do, everything I've done and not in the good way. It makes me feel like wanting to give up leaving the house and just be who I want to be behind the comfort of my door where the only judge is the women in the mirror!
I've just got back my gender clinic appointment at the GIC in CX. Any here that's been might know who I mean so I'll spare him his name!!
I have got back feeling miserable and bullied. I have been in tears since getting home and right now I feel depressed. All I want to do is get steaming drunk and climb into bed and pray that the house collapses in on me!
Criticism I can take, suggestions I can take but this sort of confrontation is the sort of crap I would have expected from the general public not a medical proffesional who's job it is to guide a person through their transition.
He's not happy I wore jeans to the appointment. Two reasons I did. It was cold out this morning and I haven't had my legs waxed. I don't own a long enough skirt for a cold day. Oh, I know they exist, but I don't own one! Apparantly, only real women can wear jeans or trousers because they look like women, just women who wear trousers that's all. I just look like a "new romantic bloke with dodgy make-up" his exact words!!
He is constantly surprised at me trying to respect my parents and family. I mentioned the funeral, and his advice was that it would be the perfect time to tell them!! What?? At my Nan's funeral. The last thing I want to cause is friction at my Nan's funeral.
He is also appalled at my choice of name. Apparently feminising my male name is stupid and redundant! I feminised my name out of respect for the fact my parents gave me that name!! He thinks I should have called myself Shirley or Heather or some such twaddle!!
My Mum has stopped trying to use male pronouns when talking about me but she has said that I'll always be her Son no matter what I do to myself because I have been her Son for so long. I'm fine with that, it's the people, the public I want to convince. He can't see that, he says it's not right. I understand some transgendered want to be recognized by their family in their new role and I respect that. Am I wrong, am I going about this the wrong way?
He also wittered on about my unemployed status and how the government will try to screw me over in regards to my benefits. God knows what that shit has to do with my transition but I am at fault for not putting myself out there and selling myself according to him!
It makes me question everything I do, everything I've done and not in the good way. It makes me feel like wanting to give up leaving the house and just be who I want to be behind the comfort of my door where the only judge is the women in the mirror!